While You Slept

The officer appeared to read her thoughts and strolled back over the lawn towards her. ‘Let me take a look in the alley at the back again. To be honest, it looks like you’ve been operating good security measures already, so I would advise you to keep—’ His gaze shot up to the window above her and he halted. ‘Who lives up there?’

‘Clive Sargeant. He’s away though.’

‘I don’t think so. Even though I knocked there earlier and there was no answer. Somebody was just at the window.’

Chapter 5

‘You’re sure you saw someone?’ Lily asked Officer Michaels as she knocked Mr Sargeant’s front door a second time.

He nodded and kept his attention on the battered green panel. ‘There was definitely a face at the window.’

Mr Sargeant’s door didn’t have a bell and was a few feet to the left of Lily’s but separated by a low wall. He also had a square of front yard, but it didn’t have any potted trees like hers and was littered with cigarette ends. Their landlord didn’t allow smoking inside the properties, which was a great relief to Lily. But it meant she often found Mr Sargeant puffing away on the doorstep. It was probably the only time she spoke to him.

He was sufficiently friendly, but she got the impression that as soon as he finished his cigarette, he was eager to go back inside. She’d never been in his home and had only glanced the flight of stairs that led up to the floor above hers. She occasionally heard his shoes dropping onto the floor when he got in and sometimes his TV when it was turned up. Other than that, very little else.

A creak from the other side of the door but it didn’t open.

‘Mr Sargeant?’ Lily said after they both waited a few more seconds.

No reply.

Officer Michaels addressed the panel. ‘It’s the police. Would you mind opening the door.’

Still no response.

‘Is he usually this sociable?’

Lily shook her head. ‘Maybe it’s not him. He’s away a lot and I know he has somebody who comes in to water his plants.’

‘They should still open the door,’ the officer said loudly.

The lock clicked and the door opened wide. The diminutive Mr Sargeant was standing there in loose claret pyjamas. His grey hair was in disarray.

‘Sorry to disturb you …’ Lily began.

Mr Sargeant squinted. ‘Hello, Lily. Sorry, I was catching up on some sleep.’

Lily noted that his nostril hair and eyebrows were looking more wild than usual. ‘I had to call the police out because I had an intruder in the garden.’

Mr Sargeant’s eyes darted between her and Officer Michaels. ‘Today?’

‘In the last hour,’ the officer interjected. ‘You didn’t see or hear anybody? Or hear me knocking earlier?’

Mr Sargeant immediately shook his head. ‘Sorry, I’d taken a sleeping pill.’

‘But you saw me in the garden,’ the officer pointed out.

‘I’ve just woken up,’ Mr Sargent replied, exasperated.

And it certainly looked like it to Lily.

‘So why did you take so long to open the door?’

Lily didn’t like the officer’s tone but she wanted an answer to that as well.

‘I had to quickly grab these pyjamas before I could come down. I sleep naked.’

That was more information than Lily needed. ‘Well, if you didn’t see anything—’ she was about to apologise again.

‘I didn’t. Anything else?’ He sharply directed the question at the officer. Before he could answer, Mr Sargeant closed the door.

‘Thanks for your time,’ Officer Michaels called mock gratefully after him. He turned to Lily. ‘Well, I guess that answers that.’

The door opened again, and Mr Sargeant took a deep breath. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.’ But he only regarded Lily. ‘I’m trying nicotine patches but very unsuccessfully. Thought I’d attempt to sleep off the craving, so I’m not in the best of moods.’

‘That’s OK.’ Lily held up a hand. ‘Didn’t mean to drag you down here.’

‘Did they steal anything?’ Mr Sargeant kept his gaze on her.

‘No. It’s just a little unnerving for Maisie and me.’

‘With all your security I’d be surprised if they had.’ He smiled briefly with yellow teeth. ‘I’ll certainly keep my eye out now though.’

‘Thank you. I thought you were away.’

‘I will be after today. Will you and … you two be OK here on your own?’

‘Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.’ Lily appreciated the question but could tell he wanted the conversation over with.

‘OK. Give me a shout if you need anything,’ he concluded glibly and closed the door again.

‘Good to have neighbours looking out for you.’ Officer Michaels projected the comment so Mr Sargeant could hear.

Lily waited for the thumps back upstairs to end. ‘I feel so much safer now.’

Chapter 6

After Officer Michaels had left Lily found the number in her phone contacts. Even though Ewan was no longer in her life she knew they would always be inextricably connected. It went beyond their child and what they’d shared in the past, good and bad. It was Ewan’s resonant voice she still heard encouraging or admonishing her after every decision she made in her daily life. She dismissed it as often as she had in their seven-year marriage, but the passing months hadn’t diminished it. She wondered how much longer that would take.

Eight months and three weeks ago Ewan had given the number to her and every time her phone had rung since she’d anticipated seeing it in her display. But he hadn’t been in touch in all that time and that told her exactly why they’d divorced. She understood that he was still bitter she’d got custody of Lily and that he was now attempting to set himself up lecturing mechatronics in a different part of the country, but he’d not once made contact in eight months and three weeks to find out how Maisie was doing.

Maisie had received a card on her fifth birthday in June but that had been it. He may now hate Lily but how could he possibly have severed his affection for their daughter? After several irresponsible incidents that had been instrumental in her winning full custody, she didn’t trust him to look after Maisie at his home, but she’d never tried to prevent him from seeing her.

Now Maisie had stopped asking if she would hear from her dad, Lily didn’t want her to overhear the conversation she was about to have. She wouldn’t use it as an excuse to berate him. She would find out precisely what she needed to know and then hang up. But Lily was positive it wouldn’t be as straightforward as that. As soon as she heard his voice, she knew the part of her she hated would immediately take over.

Lily could hear the sound of the TV that Maisie was watching in the front lounge. She closed the door and stood in her bedroom window to make the call. Her stomach muscles clenched as she dialled. She could see into the back garden and the lawn where the intruder had stood. That would remind her of the only reason for picking up the phone.

The number rang then stopped. There were three clicks and then it started ringing again. Perhaps he was forwarding to another number. She hoped he hadn’t changed it.

‘Lily?’ It was him.

And it was like the intervening months hadn’t existed. His firm utterance of her name speaking to a part of her she’d tried to shut off. ‘Hi,’ she said awkwardly and could hear a low hum in the background. A motor?

He was silent.

She’d called. She shouldn’t expect him to talk. ‘How are things?’

‘Finding my feet,’ he replied emotionlessly.

‘How’s … Christian?’ Lily didn’t want to know about his brother. She was stalling.

‘What d’you want?’

‘I thought you might be interested to hear about Maisie.’ And there she went.

‘You’ve done all you can to make sure I’m not part of her life,’ he declared coldly.

What did she expect? ‘I’ve never tried to shut you out.’ She heard the air down his nose boom against his phone.

‘No, not completely. Sorry I couldn’t fit into those tiny slots you left for me.’

‘Look, you don’t want to get into this, I don’t want to get into this.’ But she knew both of them still did.

‘Then why are you calling?’

Exactly. Lily focussed on the lawn. Should she tell him? Would he really care? ‘I just need to know … whatever our problems are, I hope you’d never expose Maisie to any danger.’

There was a brief pause before he answered. ‘What are you talking about? How could I possibly do that?’

Lily didn’t like the way he’d said it. Was there a taunt lingering at the back of his reply? ‘Just assure me …’ She could hear the emotion bleeding through her voice. She’d promised herself not to do that. ‘That you don’t have some sort of game plan with her in the middle of it. You can think what you like of me, but I won’t allow you to use Maisie.’

‘What the hell has prompted this?’ The mystification in his voice sounded genuine.

But all of his lies in the past had too.

‘If you’re planning to do anything then you’d better have a rethink.’ She felt a rush of the usual hostility and simultaneous regret for its arrival.

He sighed, as he usually did. As if he were so used to her verbal attacks he could scarcely summon the energy to defend himself. ‘Look, I count myself as fortunate now. I really do. Even though I’m living in the spare room of Christian’s house and I have to wait for my nephews to finish in the bathroom before I can have a shave. The reason is, whatever’s going on in your head right now … I don’t have to care about it anymore.’

‘Ewan.’

But he didn’t allow her to interject. ‘I’ve paid dearly for it. You’ve made that clear to me. But that is the one piece of compensation I’ve got out of this.’

‘How can you not want to speak to your daughter?’

No response.

Lily suspected he wasn’t about to justify himself to her. ‘However you square that with yourself, fine. But if you want to punish me then just ask me to tell you what it’s like to tell Maisie why her father has completely forgotten about her.’

‘You know that’s not true.’ Ewan’s voice suddenly sounded small.

But Lily’s anger had properly taken over. ‘Every time I have to make an excuse for you, honestly, you can chalk one up for yourself. I’ve told you before, I won’t have my daughter endangered. I said that in the court and I’m saying it again now.’

But Lily knew he’d hung up before she’d finished speaking. She hit redial but it was engaged.

Chapter 7

‘It’s got Ewan written all over it.’ Paulette dumped her denim handbag on the kitchen table and pulled out a chair.

‘Ssshhh.’ Lily closed the door so Maisie couldn’t hear. She was in the bedroom on her tablet.

Paulette’s normally spiky bleach blonde hair had been flattened by the rain. She tried to tease it upright again. ‘He did some nasty stuff.’

‘When he was drunk. Alcohol changed his personality. You can be the same.’

Paulette’s gaze hardened.

‘And like you it was all verbal … mostly.’

‘Mostly. I did tell you to prepare for this, the day you won full custody.’

She had. But it was rich coming from her younger sister. Paulette lived her life by the seat of her pants. Her middle name was lastminute.com. The fact that she’d got soaked when the September downpour had been forecast for the last few days was testament to it. Lily watched the rain against the kitchen window as it suddenly intensified.

‘Wow … let’s hope that’s not an omen.’ Paulette took out her vape kit and put it on the table, caught Lily’s expression and put it away again. ‘You’re sure he’s definitely still in Dundee?’

‘Who knows.’ She really didn’t. ‘He said he was staying at Christian’s.’

Paulette gingerly slid her soaking leather jacket off her brown arms. ‘You could always call Christian.’

Lily had been tempted. But she was positive, after the divorce, that she was the last person Ewan’s brother wanted to speak to. Particularly as Ewan had ended up sleeping in his spare room. ‘I thought maybe you could.’

Paulette froze in the middle of hanging the garment on the back of the chair. ‘Me?’

‘You and Christian were an item.’

‘Eight years ago.’

‘I thought you said you stayed in touch.’

Paulette looked guarded. ‘An e-card at Christmas. That’s it.’

But Lily suspected there was more to it than that. She’d been obsessed by Christian, which was probably why the relationship had broken down. Paulette could be very intense. So much so she’d started taking medication for it when she was seventeen. Ten years later she was still taking it. As far as Lily knew though, Paulette hadn’t found anyone significant since. There’d been a guy in 2016. A fireman, or had it been a policeman? But that had swiftly fizzled out. She didn’t have children, went out of her way to declare she’d made the right decision about that. But she did love Maisie, even though she insisted she was always so happy to hand her back to Lily after taking her out for the day.

‘So, any danger of a coffee?’ Paulette looked pointedly at the kettle.

Lily acknowledged that she’d been eager to change the subject. She filled it and switched it on. They hadn’t had the Christian conversation for some time but it was clear Paulette was still sensitive about it. They’d dated for about a year and Paulette had wanted to get serious. But Christian was a year younger than her and had been in no hurry. Lily had seen the crash coming. When the four of them had all gone out together it seemed a little too cosy, overpowering even. Two sisters out with two brothers. Paulette and Christian had met because of Lily seeing Ewan, but it almost seemed unnatural to Lily.

Paulette had initially joked about a double wedding. And then she kept on about it. That’s when Lily had realised how immature she was, even though she was only two years younger. She’d been relieved when it had finished between Paulette and Christian. But she felt guilty that she’d never warned her. Never told her to dial it back because she might scare Christian away. She’d done that on purpose. Lily had been selfish and had waited for things to come to a head. Back then she’d thought Paulette would easily find someone else. But the intervening years had been hard on her. Christian had become highly successful manufacturing surgical components, met and married someone else and quickly had three children with her. When they’d spoken, Paulette felt as though he was deliberately rubbing her face in his life.

A year after Paulette’s break-up both their parents had fallen ill, and Paulette had thrown all her energies into caring for them. Oesophageal cancer had claimed their mother first, and then their father had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s. Watching a doctor of psychology degenerate so quickly had been heart-rending. Paulette had been so brave. Braver than she’d been. Lily recalled her father trying to speak in her ear the day he died and how it had alienated Paulette. He could hardly form words at that point, had lost control of his muscles, so what he’d said was indecipherable. They were his last words and, despite how much she’d cared for him, Paulette had been excluded.

‘That’s so creepy.’ Paulette was watching the clip of the intruder on Lily’s phone again. ‘You haven’t been seeing anyone else recently?’

Lily spooned some coffee into the cafetière. ‘Someone I think would do that?’

Paulette raised a dark eyebrow. ‘So, you have been seeing somebody?’

Lily didn’t like to discuss her private life, what there was of it, and especially not with Paulette. ‘Not really.’

‘Not really?’ Paulette’s other eyebrow rose.

Lily knew she couldn’t clam up. She’d called Paulette. Wanted her help. She dreaded going to sleep that night, so she’d picked up the phone to her even though she was sure Paulette might slightly revel in her misery. Paulette always thought that Lily had been dealt a better hand. ‘One guy, Laurie, only for one date.’

‘Laurie?’ Paulette repeated as if the name were comical. ‘When?’

‘Few months ago. It was a mistake.’

‘Uh-huh. Maisie know about him?’

‘No. There was no point.’ Lily willed the kettle to finish boiling so she could busy herself with their drinks. ‘That’s definitely not him in the clip. He was a nice guy. Just not right for me.’ She picked up the kettle before it had clicked and filled the cafetière.

‘Is this him?’ Paulette was holding out Lily’s phone with Laurie Campbell’s face in the display.

‘Do you mind not going through my photos.’ Lily slammed the kettle down.

But she carried on scrolling through Lily’s images. ‘Why would you have a photo of him, if you only saw him once?’

‘It was just off his Romanticlicks profile. I saved it …’ Lily weakly protested.

‘You’ve been doing online dating?’

‘Just once; give me my phone.’ She held out her hand.

Paulette pursed her lips, as if considering the request.

It was like when they’d shared a room at home. They’d always fought. Lily felt like a kid again. ‘Give.’

Paulette handed it over. ‘D’you think Laurie was stalker material?’

‘No. Just a lonely guy.’

‘I can see why.’ Paulette nodded at the phone. ‘And all stalkers are lonely guys.’

Lily briefly regarded Laurie’s slightly pained expression. His square features were plain but he had the sort of thick dark hair and ghostly stubble she liked. But he’d lost his wife. He’d told her that within minutes of them settling themselves at the bar. It had only been five months since she’d been killed in a road accident and Lily had thought it was a little too early for him to be back on the singles scene. She knew she was being judgemental, but it had made her uncomfortable. He clearly wasn’t over it. Had talked about ‘his Helen’ throughout the evening. When he’d asked to see Lily again, she’d politely declined. She closed the gallery.

‘Sure it couldn’t be him? You do have a knack.’

‘What’s that mean?’ Lily had been considering asking Paulette if she minded staying the night, but now regretted calling her.

‘Picking the high-maintenance ones.’ Paulette shook her head in faux sympathy.

Lily got a flashback to a hundred arguments they’d had in the past. She could recognise the overture. Fact was, Paulette had liked Ewan. Lily couldn’t blame her falling for his solid stubble jaw and the permanent mischief in his dark gaze. But Paulette had made a pass at him behind Lily’s back in the early days, before he let her know he wasn’t interested and hooked her up with Christian. Despite that, however, and even though it was difficult to endure the way Paulette occasionally sniped at her, Lily had got better at reminding herself that, bad times aside, she still had Maisie. ‘You still on sweeteners?’

Paulette eventually nodded. She knew Lily wasn’t going to rise to it.

Chapter 8

Lily woke and focussed on the ceiling. Had her phone just been ringing? It wasn’t now. She’d caved into Paulette’s advice and drank half a glass of red to help her sleep, and the room seemed brighter than usual. She waited a few seconds for the previous night’s events to reassemble. That’s right. She’d put a pizza in the oven for Maisie. Paulette had eaten most of it. Maisie hadn’t been hungry and nor had Lily. Her stomach had been on edge because of what had happened that afternoon, and she’d chatted to her younger sister about anything she wanted until she’d left just after nine.

But when she tensed her neck muscles they ached and so did her temples. The pounding quickened. Had it really been half a glass? She tried to open her mouth, but her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth. What was the time?

The digital clock by her bedside said 06:06.

Thank God. An hour to collect herself before she had to rise and get Maisie ready for school. She closed her eyes again and listened to the percussion in her head. Maybe she was coming down with something. She often did in September. Hot days interspersed with wet and cold ones often kickstarted a cold. She listened for signs of rainfall on the window over the pulse in her eardrums but couldn’t hear any. That was one small mercy.

She tried to busy her mind with the forthcoming audit they were expecting at work. The small strategy consulting company she worked for lived very hand-to-mouth and there were rumours of redundancies just before Christmas. Why was it always just before Christmas? If it was her how soon could she find an admin job that paid the same wage? Her savings wouldn’t keep a roof over their heads for more than a couple of months. Normally she would have tried to ignore these thoughts, but today she was glad of them, if they could distract her from the man who had stood in her garden …

She couldn’t fool herself that she wasn’t terrified. If it had been an opportunist intruder it would have been disturbing enough, but to have gone out of his way to find a recent photo of Maisie, blow it up and then wear it like that.

Lily recalled the way he had calmly stared at her through the security cam and the holes cut in her daughter’s eyes. Was Paulette right? Did she just not want to believe that Ewan could be capable of orchestrating something like that?

She wanted to look at the clip again. For the umpteenth time. She’d emailed it to the address that Constable Michaels had given her. Had they watched it or was it still sitting in someone’s inbox? And had a patrol car come by to check on her last night or had she just been told that to make her feel more secure?

It was obvious Officer Michaels thought she was a victim of her ex and probably had more pressing incidents to deal with. The neighbourhood crime rate had risen rapidly since she and Ewan had moved into the property. More stabbings and drug-related incidents were what had made up her mind to get the security system installed now Ewan wasn’t there. She hadn’t even started to pay for that. But what she’d seen through her app was the last thing she’d expected. She reached over and grabbed her phone from the table and the action felt like a major exertion. Perhaps it was flu. All her limbs felt strained and her chest like somebody had been sitting on it.

Exposing her arms made her shiver. It was never usually cold in her bedroom, so it looked like she was definitely getting sick. She put her hand to her forehead but didn’t have a temperature. She had no time to be ill. She had one of the best attendance records at work and hoped that would put her in good stead if they did decide to lay some people off. But it was more likely they’d keep on the new intern, Bridget Holby. She’d been shadowing Lily since July. Was that because they wanted Bridget to take on Lily’s job? It wasn’t a great place to work. Martin Pickton regularly hit on Lily but she always had fun with Julie Medlocke. Julie understood what it was like to be a working single mother.

One ‘Missed Call’

Lily squinted at the number in the display. It wasn’t one she recognised. Was that what had woken her up? Yes, it said 06:05. Bit early for the usual cold calls. She cursed herself for not turning off the ringer. She usually did, and if she had she’d still be fast asleep. That surprised her. After yesterday she hadn’t expected to get a wink. She was about to call out to Maisie, as she often did. But it was still too early. She decided to slip across the hallway and look in. There was no window in Maisie’s room, as it was between the front lounge and the kitchen. She’d locked the door to the kitchen the night before. She’d also locked the lounge, so the only way anyone could get in the hallway was through the double front doors and they were both solid wood.

Lily sat up but her head spun. She swung her legs out of bed and paused for a few moments on the edge of the mattress while the room came to a standstill. Her pyjamas felt damp against her skin. Check on Maisie and then grab some painkillers. She gingerly stood and her ribcage and legs felt tender as she crossed the tan carpet to the door, took her aquamarine robe from the hook and slipped it on. No sign of her slippers.