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‘Hey, I’m pregnant!’
‘Barely.’
‘Ten weeks actually, which means it’s the size of a large green olive.’
‘Which apparently means you can only supervise the decorating, rather than provide any actual help,’ said Anna, smudging paint across her cheek as she attended to an itch.
‘I’m sorting this out.’ She pointed at the box in front of her, the words ‘Random Crap’ emblazoned on the side in Anna’s handwriting. ‘I’d love to help with decorating but this is about you starting a new chapter without Liam and I don’t want to intrude.’
‘Two years I wasted on him. What is it with me always picking the same sort of commitment-phobe? Liam makes it four in a row. Four!’ said Anna, emphasising her point by holding up four fingers. She was beginning to think she was either a serial monogamist or she was destined never to find the one. She unceremoniously dropped the roller into the paint tray.
‘You’re not entirely over the anger phase yet then?’ said Sophie, blowing out her cheeks.
Anna’s flash of fury waned. ‘That’s two years of my life I’m not getting back. What sort of person dumps someone four months after proposing?’
‘A prize plughole?’ offered Sophie, who only ever used what she felt were child-friendly swear words and frequently resorted to making up her own versions. ‘You need to think about you now. Not him.’
Anna took a deep breath. Sophie was right. This was her new start. She needed to leave Liam in the past and concentrate on her future. She was more cross than she was upset. In fact, she probably should be more upset than she actually was. She spotted one of his books in the random crap box, snatched it out and slammed it into the box labelled ‘Arsehole’s Stuff’. Perhaps it would take a little while longer for the anger to abate.
‘You’re right. A new start in my new flat.’ She wasn’t sworn off men forever; she needed to prove to herself that she didn’t need one, prove she could manage perfectly well on her own. Then maybe if the right person came along she would consider a relationship on her terms, but given how many times she’d been bitten, it would be a long time before she’d feel ready to do that.
‘Have you got any biscuits? I’m Hank Marvin,’ said Sophie.
‘Top cupboard, Hank,’ said Anna, pointing behind her. It felt like a good time to have a break. She’d been decorating the kitchen all morning and the thought of a cuppa and a Hobnob was now dominating her thoughts. She was pleased with how the little flat was shaping up but it would be a while before it’d really feel like home. Anna had been moved in a week but with her dad’s help she was already putting her own stamp on things.
A few minutes later Sophie was thoughtfully dunking her third biscuit in a large mug of coffee.
‘You okay?’ asked Anna.
Sophie pursed her lips as she appeared to carefully consider her answer. ‘I don’t like to complain about this, considering what you’re going through, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m hurtling towards thirty and I’ve not done any of the things I thought I would have by now. I’m fed up with being a general skivvy. I’m bored of having virtually no life outside the kids. I’m sick of washing, ironing and clearing up – it’s relentless. And I’m feeling a bit useless at work too …’ As if highlighting her gloomy state her biscuit dissolved into her tea. ‘Bumfuzzle!’
Anna handed her friend a teaspoon. ‘I meant the pregnancy.’
Sophie briefly screwed her eyes up and then opened them particularly wide. ‘Right. Sorry about the rant. Of course, I’m thrilled. We want lots of kids. The first two took ages to conceive so we thought we had plenty of time but this one must have been the Usain Bolt of sperm.’
Sophie’s husband, Dave, was the polar opposite of Usain Bolt. Dave was to speed what crayons were to fine art – simply not cut out for the job. He was the sort of person most labelled as ‘a nice guy’ but he was a constant source of irritation to Sophie.
‘Still, a new baby will be lovely and now I live seven doors away I’ll be able to help.’
‘Thanks. I’m going to need it.’ Sophie fished out another Hobnob.
‘It’ll be fine. You’re glowing.’ Wasn’t that what you were meant to say to pregnant women?
‘I don’t feel glowing. I feel tired and a little nauseous most of the time. And I’m spotty and fat already! All the pregnant celebrities look stunning and I look like this.’ She pointed in turn at her limply hanging hair, pimply chin and lumpy midriff.
‘I keep telling you the magazines you read are full of rubbish. The celebrities are all airbrushed and styled so much they’d make the Gruffalo look like Kim Kardashian. In fact, who knows for sure that the Gruffalo isn’t Kim Kardashian, I’ve never seen them together.’ Sophie gave a weak attempt at a smile. ‘You’re naturally beautiful.’
Sophie didn’t seem convinced. ‘I’m bloated and I’ve not lost my baby weight from the first two yet. And I really miss proper coffee.’ She peered accusingly into her mug.
Anna wasn’t sure what to say; instead she opted for squeezing Sophie’s shoulder. She didn’t like to see her like this but she knew her well enough to know jollying her out of it wasn’t the answer. They sipped their drinks in silence.
‘Come on,’ said Anna. ‘Let’s go for a walk in the park.’ The novelty of having a private park literally on her doorstep was going to take a long while to wear off. The park was in an area called Walmsley but was known as Wildflower Park because of the many varieties of wildflower that grew there. The history of the park had fascinated Anna when Sophie had first moved there a year before. The old manor house had been demolished during the Industrial Revolution leaving its grounds isolated but surrounded by other large houses, the owners of which were not keen to have their view spoiled by cheap workers’ housing or worse still a factory. They’d clubbed together to buy the gardens and turned them into a private park accessible only by those who had a property backing onto it. Even now keys were held by a select few who had an adjacent property. Anna was incredibly lucky to have been able to buy one of the flats in the small 1970s’ block, which was somehow allowed to be built, backing onto the park and therefore qualified its occupants for access.
‘Okay,’ said Sophie with a groan although Anna knew she loved a stroll around the park too.
Sophie zipped up her hoodie and Anna grabbed her coat and keys. It was early April and the signs of spring were becoming evident as the temperature was starting to feel warmer. Daffodils were everywhere and things were generally greener. As times had changed Anna no longer needed an actual key to open the gate to the park, just a special key fob. She pressed it to the gate, which buzzed in recognition and she pushed it open. Anna felt like she was being transported into the secret gardens of her favourite childhood books.
The park was a good size and must have been magnificent gardens in its day. Now a team of volunteer residents cared for it. A few years ago a community project had set about focusing on the reintroduction of wildflowers to help support bees, butterflies and other wildlife, and it had been a huge success.
Where Anna entered it was sheltered by some conifers, which hid what was once the rockery. A neat path wound its way through budding trees, past some newly sprouted crocuses and down to the pond. Everyone called it a pond, but to Anna, who had been brought up in the city, this was more than a pond. A pond was a thinly disguised plastic shape about four foot round you bought from the garden centre and filled with a few buckets of water; what they had here was more of a lake to Anna. It took up about a fifth of the park and must have been 250 metres across at its widest point. She loved the little island in the middle where the ducks seemed to take refuge at night in case any foxes came looking for an easy meal. But most of all she loved the areas that were given up to wildflowers – they were her favourite.
Sophie glanced at her phone as they walked side by side.
‘Are you going to check they’re all right?’ asked Anna.
‘Who?’
‘Dave and the kids?’
Sophie did some gurning followed by a long drawn-out sigh. ‘If I call I’ll hear chaos and get stressed out and I’ll have to go home and shout. It’s best if I don’t know.’ She gave a wistful glance in her house’s general direction.
‘Dave’s not that bad.’
‘Don’t get me wrong, I love him to bits. He’s just totally useless with the kids … And the house. And the garden.’ Sophie rubbed her middle and sighed.
‘You any nearer to agreeing names for number three?’ asked Anna, keen to cheer up the plunging mood.
Sophie put her phone in her pocket. ‘No, it’s the usual battle. Dave wants something traditional and I want something distinctive. And now we have the added pressure of getting something that works with Arlo and Petal. You know when you send cards and it says “Love from Dave, Sophie, Arlo, Petal and Moby.”’
‘Moby? As in Dick?’
Sophie rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t say that. Moby’s my favourite but I also like Enoch and Thaddeus.’
Anna failed to hide her flinch. ‘So, you’re counting on a boy this time?’
‘No, we’ve already agreed what she’ll be called if it’s a girl – Darby.’
‘As in Derby County Football Club?’
‘No, with an “a”, you muppet.’
Anna nodded her understanding. ‘Still, Dave won’t be happy when he goes to work on a Monday and someone says, “I see Derby got stuffed at the weekend.”’
Sophie took her hand out of her pocket to give Anna a swipe. They walked past the pond with the tall swaying reeds at its edge and headed up towards the largest of a series of oak trees. Anna decided to change the subject completely.
‘I’ve met Mrs Nowakowski,’ she said, with a raise of her eyebrows.
‘Did she ask you millions of questions?’
‘It was like completing a questionnaire.’
‘At least we don’t need surveillance cameras with Mrs Nowakowski about. She’s got more nose than Pinocchio – she doesn’t miss a thing,’ said Sophie.
‘She was disappointed I was single but thrilled I didn’t have a dog or a parrot. She seemed all right though.’
‘She’s not a fan of animals. She’s always reporting dog walkers who don’t pick up their poo.’ Anna gave her a quizzical glance. ‘Not their own poo, the dogs’.’
‘Oh dear. I’m thinking of getting a kitten.’ Anna bit the inside of her mouth.
‘Is this the start of your mad cat lady phase?’
‘No. I’ve always wanted one and Liam was never keen, so this is my opportunity. At least talking to a kitten instead of to myself won’t make me look quite so bonkers and it’ll be company.’ The thought of coming back to the empty flat bothered her. This was the first time she’d lived alone. At university she’d shared with friends, but her time there had been cut short and she’d moved back in with her parents. From there she’d rented places with her first fiancé and subsequent boyfriend with brief stints back home in between. After that she’d bought the cosy two-up two-down she’d shared with Liam for the last two years.
‘Kittens are manic and there’s the cost of stuff like vet’s fees and injections. It’ll wreck your curtains and scratch your furniture,’ said Sophie, with a knowing look. ‘But then the kids cost us a small fortune and they pretty much wrecked all our furniture. I’ve never been able to fix the bathroom blinds after Arlo used them as a parachute. On the plus side, I guess you don’t have to potty train a cat.’ Sophie looked thoughtful. ‘Maybe we would have been better off with kittens instead of kids …’
‘No, way. Your kids are gorgeous,’ said Anna and Sophie tilted her head questioningly. ‘Okay, they’re both proper bonkers but they’re still gorgeous.’
‘I know, but I feel like I’m doing a rubbish job in the office and a rubbish job at home. I can’t win.’
‘I don’t know how you do it all,’ said Anna. She was knackered when she got in from work and some nights was barely capable of heating a ready meal; how Sophie turned around and took care of three other people amazed her.
Sophie shrugged. ‘Anyway, how are you feeling about tomorrow?’
Anna gave a pout worthy of a sulky teen. ‘It’s not ideal, but I guess it’ll be okay.’ Anna and Sophie worked for the same insurance company who had recently taken over another company and Anna had banked on getting the job of managing the integration. However, the other company had negotiated hard and she now found herself in the odd situation of having to jointly manage the project with whomever the other company appointed. ‘To be honest, as they’re integrating into our processes I’ll be leading it by default.’
‘As long as they see it like that,’ said Sophie.
Anna badly wanted a big project on her CV, and she was willing to ruffle a few feathers to get it. ‘Yeah, let’s hope they’re a reasonable sort of person. But before that I’ve got Liam coming round to collect his stuff.’
Sophie pulled a face. ‘You know it’s times like this you really should give alcohol another go.’ Anna chuckled but there were too many demons guarding the reasons why she would never touch a drop again.
They followed the path silently until they reached the furthest oak and then turned around. From here they had a great view of all of Wildflower Park. There were a few dog walkers crisscrossing the large expanse of green in the middle and a jogger in a bright orange top circling the pond, but other than that it was just them. The sky was the palest blue edged with pearly grey clouds – like a scene escaping from an open book. It was the prettiest place and a stone’s throw from Birmingham, making it an oasis of colour on the edge of the Black Country. Anna felt a sense of calm wash over her and she knew moving here had been a good decision.
Chapter Two (#ulink_cbe819a9-8a99-5fec-a981-41cbf7836d77)
Liam was never going to be her first choice for a fun evening but he needed to pick up his stuff and she would be as amicable as she possibly could. She plonked the box marked Arsehole’s Stuff onto the sofa and noticed the velvet ring box perched on the top. She gave it a hard stare before picking it up; it had promised so much and then let her down so badly. She thought of the moment when Liam had unimaginatively pushed it across the breakfast table to her. At the time she’d hoped it would be a story she would tell her children and grandchildren – how she’d asked what it was but secretly had guessed, and how she told him he needed to be on one knee and he’d laughed at her because that was what they did in the schmaltzy films she watched but he’d done it anyway. She now remembered the begrudging look in his eyes as he did so and the lack of any romantic precursor to his offer of ‘Let’s get married.’
She realised now it hadn’t even been a question. He hadn’t asked her as such, just merely suggested it as he would a casual trip to the cinema. Yes, this box had a lot to answer for. Anna didn’t open it; she knew the ring inside. It was the classic claw setting – the ring she had always wanted, the one she had dropped into conversation with Liam many times. Seeing it again was not going to help.
Seven o’clock came and Anna checked her mobile. She wanted this to be over. She wanted Liam to come in, take his things and go with as little small talk as possible. She was moving on with her life and this was a key milestone along her journey. The knock on the door made her jump and she shook her head at her own silliness.
‘Hi,’ she said, opening the door. Liam appeared relaxed and casual, the polar opposite of how she was feeling. ‘Come in.’
They walked through to the lounge and Anna pointed at the box of random items. ‘Here you go. I think that’s everything.’
‘This is nice,’ said Liam, having a good gawp around the room.
‘Thanks,’ said Anna. She wanted to pick the box up and thrust it at him but she wouldn’t be so rude.
‘So,’ said Liam, rubbing his hand across his chin. ‘Have you been okay?’
‘Yes, terrific, thanks.’ She said it too enthusiastically and Liam looked a little taken aback. Or was that hurt?
‘Oh, that’s good.’ He pursed his lips. Liam wasn’t paying attention; he was still inspecting the room and it annoyed her.
She wondered why he wasn’t just taking the box and leaving. He sat down on the sofa. Her sofa. Anna folded her arms. ‘Did you want a coffee or something?’ she asked out of politeness, which irritated her further. She was so British.
He smiled and she wondered why. ‘A coffee would be great – or something stronger. Have you still got the bottle of Châteauneuf you took?’
Anna knew her annoyance was disproportionate but really – how rude was Liam to walk in and think he could dictate to her in her new home! ‘No, I gave it to Dad. I’ll get you a coffee.’
Anna was standing next to the kettle and boiled inside as the plumes of steam escaped around her. She only put one sugar in his coffee when she knew he liked two – it was a silly thing but it made her feel a little better, until he tasted it and asked for more. Then she really could have screamed at him.
Finally, they were sitting next to each other – well, on separate ends of the sofa, which showed how much things had changed, and how uncomfortable they both now felt. Anna looked at Liam in a similar way as she had the ring box. He had once held so much promise too. Everybody liked Liam with his boyish good looks and confident air. Her mum had been particularly fond of him. Who could have known that proposing was going to be the trigger to make him question their whole future?
‘I wanted to talk to you about how we decide who gets which of our friends.’ This was all he said that started it off. Such a simple sentence, and yet two hours later they would still be locked in a head-to-head battle …
Anna looked up. ‘I’ll give you Tom and Alice for Darnell and Shanice.’
Liam shook his head. ‘Tom was my friend from uni and you never really liked Alice, so that’s not giving me anything. How about Matthew and Matt for Darnell and Shanice?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. No way! The two Matthews are worth ten Darnell and Shanices. And you hate it when Matt beats you at Ping-Pong – you get all stroppy,’ said Anna, knocking back another gulp of coffee. It had taken a lot of caffeine to get through this evening and she knew she’d have even less chance of sleeping tonight now.
‘It’s called table tennis. Only children call it Ping-Pong.’
She liked it when he got all picky because it made her loathe him a little bit more, which made things easier. ‘The two Matts are non-negotiable.’ They had been totally brilliant since the split and were definitely in her camp. Camp being the operative word.
He sighed deeply and crossed them off his list. ‘Any other non-negotiables we should get out of the way?’
Anna scanned her list quickly. ‘Stacey and Paulo?’ She bit her lip because they were the coolest couple they knew, and she knew Liam would want them. They had the best jobs, the jet-set lifestyle and the most amazing dinner parties. It wasn’t so much that she didn’t want to lose them as friends but as the antidote to her small simple life they were an addiction she wasn’t ready to kick.
He shook his head and gave her a pitying smile. ‘Yeah, okay. Tabitha isn’t keen on them anyway.’ As soon as the words were out Liam looked like someone had stuck a pin in his genitals, which was something Anna would have relished doing at that precise moment.
Before she could stop herself, she’d already asked the obvious question. ‘Who’s Tabitha?’
Liam rubbed his chin again. ‘She’s just someone I’ve started seeing.’
Anna felt her stomach drop and started to bob her head far more vigorously than was necessary. ‘Right. Good. That’s good. I’m pleased for you.’ No, she wasn’t. She was wrong-footed, vexed and, above all else, hurt.
An hour later they had been reduced to pulling the final few names out of a mixing bowl. There had been no other way when they had reached a stalemate. Who knew dividing up eleven couples could be so hard?
‘Yes! Charles and Lydia,’ whooped Liam, as he opened his piece of paper.
‘Crap,’ said Anna with feeling. She loved Lydia, so maybe she could find a way to see her on the sly. Getting up off the sofa, Anna held her head high. ‘Now bugger off out of my life … Please.’
She glanced at the list of rules they’d created. Despite it being a difficult moment, Anna smiled to herself, thinking: ‘This is what happens when you get two change professionals together.’ Liam stood up and pulled his box of stuff up into his arms. ‘You have to be proactive with those on your list and contact them. No need to tell them about the segregation,’ he said, letting himself out.
‘Shit weasel,’ said Anna, and she had another large mouthful of cold coffee.
