скачать книгу бесплатно
I called Oleg and told him as fast as I could, “Our baby’s heart is stopping every 5 minutes. He is dying. The doctors are asking if we should let him die or do an emergency C-section on me. I need you to come to the hospital as soon as possible, please. I will call my Father and ask him to come and spend the night with our children. I will call you back.”
I quickly called my Father and asked if he could spend the night with our children. My Father said he will and promised to pray for us.
I called Oleg back to ask him what to do, but for some reason he didn’t pick up the phone. I tried again. No answer warned me.
“Where is Oleg? Why he doesn’t answer?” I sat on my hospital bed, confused. Every minute counted. I thought to myself, “How can I say, ‘I am willing to let my baby die?’” Even if he has a 1% chance to survive, I should give it to him. The doctors should do the C-section. Even if my baby does not survive, I will have a scar to remember him by. THERE IS GOD IN HEAVEN, WHO GIVES LIFE AND WHO TAKES IT AWAY. I will give my baby all his chances. I know he will live!”
The doctors came back into my room and asked again, “So, Olga, what have you decided?”
“My husband is on his way here,” I answered with a shaky voice. “Please do the C-section. I will give my baby all his chances for life. God will make that final decision about our baby’s life.”
“Are you sure, Olga? This surgery is a major procedure, which we would prefer not to do on you.”
“Yes, I am sure.”
“Would you like us to save your baby when he is born?” the doctor asked.
“What do you mean?” I asked confused.
“Would you like us to let him die or provide him with breathing help and medications for his heart?”
“I would like you to do everything possible to save his life. God will take his life, if it is time, but I will do everything possible to help our son live.”
The doctors were quiet for a minute and then left the room. They knew what I didn’t want to accept. Only later, I realized if they told me that my baby had no chance for life, I would not be asking them to save him. But because they gave him that 1%, I asked them to save him. I knew miracles happen.
After about thirty-five minutes, which seemed an eternity to me, Oleg was finally with me in the room.
“Olga, I am sorry it took me a while to get here,” he said. “The main entrance door of the hospital was locked, so, the security guard had to let me in through the back door.”
Oleg’s face was pale. Only God knows what my husband experienced.
“I have agreed to the surgery. I want to give my baby all his chances for life,” I said with tears.
“Olga, God will help us. No matter what happens, I just need you alive,” Oleg said, hugging me and trying to hold his tears.
That night I turned thirty weeks pregnant; two and a half months early for our baby to be born. The nurses transported me to the operating room, while Oleg had to stay and change into a surgery outfit. Surprisingly, I felt an unusual peace and knew God was with me during that critical time. I felt like He was gently holding me in His hands with His angels surrounding me. I was doing everything possible to give our baby his chance for life and left the final decision up to God. What more could I do?
When Oleg came into the operating room, the doctor had already made the incision cut for the C-section. Oleg told me later that he had seen blood before, but not that much of it. It made him feel sick when he paused and looked at the surgery.
“Sir, please sit down,” the nurse said.
“I am fine,” Oleg answered.
“You have to sit down,” the nurse repeated.
“I am fine,” Oleg answered again.
“Sir, you have to sit down because you can faint from seeing so much blood and we cannot be responsible for you.”
Oleg sat on the chair next to me, hugged me, kissed me on my head and prayed quietly. The surgery went on for about an hour. I could not see anything behind the curtain, just felt the doctors pushing on my stomach. I felt no pain, no fear and did not cry. I didn’t feel like myself. Usually, I would be so scared, but I was calm. I quietly prayed for God to be in charge and for His will to be done. After about ten minutes, the doctor delivered the baby and asked the nurses to take him to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). I could not see the baby or hear him cry. Oleg couldn’t tell if the baby was alive. The doctors continued finishing my surgery.
After the surgery, I was taken to the recovery room for one hour. The nurse gave me medications and made sure I was okay. Oleg sat by me and held my hand. Another nurse came and asked if he wanted to go see our newborn son.
My husband left with her and shortly came back.
“Our son is alive!” he said relieved and excited. “Olga, when you called me, I was under the impression that he had already died. All the way to the hospital I cried out to God because I wasn’t sure what was happening. Olga, I was worried about you, too. My son is alive! He is moving his hands! Praise God!”
I only now understood why Oleg hadn’t answered my second phone call. Only God saw his tears and heard his questions. Oleg sat by me, held my hand and kept thanking God that our baby was alive.
“The nurses started medications through an IV for our son’s heart and provided him with breathing help,” he explained. “Our baby is in NICU in a warm incubator.”
I was glad to see Oleg happy, even though he still worried. I was glad to hear that our baby was alive, and the doctors were taking good care of him. But after the anesthesia my mind was foggy, and I was in pain. Thank God, I was in one of the best hospitals in Oregon with good doctors and nurses, taking gentle care of me.
…….
After an hour in the recovery room, I was taken to the Intensive Care Unit for postpartum mothers after a high-risk delivery. The nurses put my surgery bed next to the bed that I was to use in the room and asked, “Olga, can you try to scoot from your bed to the one in this room?”
I tried, but felt terrible pain from the C-section incision. Also, due to the anesthesia, I couldn’t feel my legs at all. It was impossible to move. How do you move, when you don’t feel your legs and experience severe pain? I became scared and started crying.
“I am in lots of pain and can’t feel my legs,” I said.
Oleg offered to help the nurses move me, but they did not let him. They asked for help from a male nurse. They wrapped me in sheets and used them to move me from my surgery bed to the bed in the room. Then, the nurse gave me extra pain medications.
That night there wasn’t a room available with a sleeping couch for Oleg. So, he slept on two chairs, sitting on one and resting his feet on another. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t. The anesthesia medications made my whole body itch the minute I began falling asleep. I told the nurse, but she answered that it was a side effect of the medications.
In the morning, a room with a couch became available, so the nurses with my husband’s help transported me there in a wheel chair. Oleg fell asleep on a couch right away. The nurses changed my wound dressing and started magnesium medication through an IV to lower my blood pressure. They were also giving me Ibuprofen and Vicodin to kill the pain. In addition to itching, I felt dizzy and developed a very bad headache. I was still unable to fall asleep.
…….
Oleg slept for only a couple of hours. In the morning the nurse asked if he wanted to go visit our baby again. He was excited for the chance and left with her. When Oleg returned, he brought me a precious gift: he had taken a picture of our baby, so I could see him for the first time.
I loved our son so much and felt so sorry when I saw him. I needed an explanation about all the wires and tubes around him. When the doctor came, she tried to answer my questions, but there was just too much to understand. I wanted to see our baby, but my medical condition prevented this.
After the doctor left, Oleg and I realized how blessed we were to live in the United States with well-educated and skilled doctors, advanced medical equipment and medications. It is amazing how skilled and talented these individuals are, and how much they care. They do more than just their job. They are involved in our lives and work as fellow human beings, who care for other human beings with such strong convictions. They are special, and we are grateful for them.
Oleg and I understood that from then on, our lives would be different, since our baby would be staying at the hospital for a while. Oleg called his Mother in California.
“Mom, our baby has been born very early. Olga had a C-section. The school has started. Someone needs to be home to send David, Kristina and Michael to school and meet them after. Can you please come help us with the children?”
“Yes, of course, I will come,” Oleg’s Mother promised.
My parents continued to help with our children, while Oleg was with me at the hospital. That morning we realized how lucky we were to have parents near us during such critical time.
…….
A nurse brought me an electric breast pump to pump the first colostrum for our baby. I sat up in my hospital bed and started pumping, but didn’t know if my baby would ever drink it. I couldn’t believe this was my new reality. My first three children were all healthy. They were with me in the room after birth and I breastfed them. I knew it was important for our baby to drink colostrum, but he couldn’t yet; he was being fed through an IV. The nurse brought me more bottles and labels. I attached the label to the bottle and the nurse took my milk to NICU to be frozen.
The cardiologist ordered an echo cardiogram of our baby’s heart. With hope, we patiently waited for the results. Soon the cardiologist came back and said, “Unfortunately, the echo cardiogram of your baby’s heart showed that all the predicted problems are still there. Your baby may not survive.”
He gave us a list of our baby’s diagnoses:
Right dominant unbalanced atrioventricular septal defect with large primum ASD;
Second superior secundum ASD;
Inlet VSD;
Hypoplastic left ventricle;
Severely hypoplastic aortic arch with severe coarctation;
Large patent ductus arteriosus;
Ex-30-week premature infant.
We didn’t understand all of the medical terms, but knew there were many problems with our son’s heart. When the doctor left, we were quiet for a while.
“I feel like God doesn’t hear us,” Oleg finally spoke. “Why doesn’t He help us? What about the prophecies that others had told us that God would heal our baby in the womb? Why had individuals prophesied that which is not true?”
Reality set in. Maybe God was stronger in Oleg, because he was still in a supportive role in his trust of God. I, on the other hand, questioned, “How can a loving God do this to my baby? Is it a God I still want to love and believe in?”
“Olga, we need to accept God’s will,” Oleg tried to answer my questions. “People can be wrong. They can tell us things that hurt us. They can prophecise what may not come true, but God is God. We have to believe in Him. He is there. He is alive. He will help us.”
That day was difficult for both of us, but we ultimately decided to accept God’s will and move forward with our lives. We now had a son who would require vast amounts of our attention and care, and somehow, we would have to make accommodations within our and our children’s lives.
…….
6
You never realize how lucky you are with a healthy
child, until you have an ill child.
Our friends and relatives called us, worrying about me and my baby. But that day, I asked for visitors not to come because I couldn’t move, had lots of pain and needed rest. We appreciated our friends’ and relatives’ support. Even too many doctors and nurses kept coming in and out from my room.
When I had a moment, I called my Mother.
“Our baby has been born, but he is very ill,” I broke in tears while talking to Mom.
“Olga, please be strong. I feel your pain, my Daughter, and I wish I could help you, but what can I do? We will be praying. I know God has been healing other people. He will help. We will take care of your children. I will help you with meals. Tell Oleg to stop by any time. I will give him food to eat,” my Mother cried on the other end of the phone, while trying to ease my concerns.
Because of our son’s critical condition, I wasn’t able to breastfeed him or do the skin-to-skin contact. I knew this was important because in my job at WIC that was what I taught new mothers. I knew the skin-to-skin contact would enhance our son’s immune system. It would provide him better oxygenation, better heart rate and better temperature. He was all alone in an incubator, surrounded by wires, tubes and pumps with medications. I knew that the nurses were taking good care of him, but he was my baby and I was missing him. He and I were separated. Surprisingly, I was at peace. Oleg also felt at peace. He stayed with me that whole day and the next night.
…….
By the morning, the anesthesia was no longer affecting my body and the magnesium medication was stopped. The itching ended and, finally, I was able to sleep. I no longer felt dizzy and could walk with the nurse’s help. I was beginning to feel better and thanked God!
I received a phone call from my former co-worker, Kathy.
“Olga, I am coming to visit you!” she said.
At the same time, Oleg received a phone call from his cousin, Eddie.
“I am coming to visit you, brother.”
Eddie and Kathy arrived at about the same time, so Oleg spent time with Eddie and I spent time with Kathy. Kathy brought me two cards, one from her and one from my former co-worker Marge. I started reading them and the words from one of the cards made me cry. It said, “God knows everything you are going through and He will help you…”
Kathy comforted me. It was wonderful to have such friends, who worried about me and brought me cards that showed hope.
“Olga, I would like to see your baby,” Kathy said.
“I haven’t seen my baby myself,” I answered. “I felt so awful yesterday after the anesthesia and all medications, but I feel a lot better today. We can go see my baby together.”
“Walking that far would be impossible for me.”
I looked at Oleg.
“How will I get there? I am on the 14
floor and our baby is on the 12
. Is it far?”
“It is pretty far,” Oleg answered. “You will need to take a wheelchair.”
“No way. Wheelchairs are for disabled people. But now I have to use one?”
I wanted to see my baby so much, I complied with the rules and went to the NICU in a wheelchair. Kathy pushed it for me, while Oleg and his cousin walked behind us. We arrived at the NICU.
“Only three healthy visitors can see your baby at a time,” the clerk explained. “No children are allowed, only siblings.”
We signed in and washed our hands all the way up to the elbows. Then we went to the last room at the end of the hall, where the smallest babies were. Because there were four of us, Eddie waited in the hall and then came in after Kathy left. Four doctors were by our son’s bed. The doctors greeted us and told the updates on the baby.
“The last two days we have been worried and didn’t think that your baby would live. But he lives, so we are planning to meet with the surgeon and come up with a care plan for your son.”
After the doctors left, I looked around the room. There were four other raised beds with tiny babies, covered with a glass lid and small blankets. I realized our family was not the only family with problems. There was a baby who was even smaller than our baby. Two nurses were taking care of babies in that room. Some parents sat in the rocking chairs by their baby’s bed. Our son’s bed had a sign on it: “Anischenko Baby” with tiny footprints on it and the baby’s weight and length: 3lb 1 ounce and 14 inches.
With Oleg’s help, I got out of the wheelchair and came closer to the incubator.
“Our baby is so tiny!” surprised, I told Oleg. “David, Kristina and Michael were all 8 pounds at birth. I never imagined that our fourth baby would be only 3 pounds.”
Two rounded windows were on each side of the incubator. The nurse and Kathy were staying next to us.
“Olga, you can open the round windows and put your hands through to your baby,” the nurse explained. “But do not make any strokes. He may not like it. Your baby still needs to be in your womb for more than two months, not being touched.”
I opened the round windows, put my hands on our baby’s head and legs, and looked at his face. He was so beautiful with blond curly hair and looked so much like Oleg. The nurse told us more about his tubes and wires.
“An oxygen tube, taped to baby’s mouth, is going down into his lungs to help him breathe. The sensors on his chest check his oxygen, pulse, heartbeat and body temperature. The umbilical intravenous line is inserted though his belly button, so we can draw blood for labs. The PICC line (a prolonged IV) is inserted in his hand, so we can send in nutrition and medications.”
