Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honour

Fouldes

[Taking them.] You fail lamentably in achieving your wish. Three thousand five hundred pounds in all. It seems hardly worth while to make a fuss about so small a sum.

Captain Montgomerie

I'm in urgent need of money.

Fouldes

[Ironically.] So rich a man as you?

Captain Montgomerie

Even a rich man may be temporarily embarrassed.

Fouldes

Then be so good as to wait for one moment. [He sits down at a table and writes a cheque.] No sight is more affecting than that of a millionaire in financial straits.

Lady Frederick

Paradine!

Fouldes

[Handing the cheque.] Now, sir, I think that settles it. Will you exchange my cheque for those bills?

Captain Montgomerie

Damn you, I forgot you.

Fouldes

You may not be aware that it's unusual to swear in the presence of ladies.

Captain Montgomerie

[Looking at the cheque.] I suppose it's all right.

[Paradine goes to the door and opens it.Fouldes

There is the window, and here is the door. Which will you choose?

[Captain Montgomerie looks at him without answering, shrugs his shoulders and goes out.Lady Frederick

Oh, Paradine, you are a brick.

Gerald

I say it's awfully good of you.

Fouldes

Nonsense. I've got a strong sense of effect, and I always cultivate the dramatic situation.

Lady Frederick

I shall never be able to pay you back, Paradine.

Fouldes

My dear, I'm not entirely devoid of intelligence.

Admiral

Well, well, I must be off to take my constitutional.

Lady Frederick

And Rose and Gerald must take care of you. We shall all meet at luncheon.

Admiral

Yes, yes.

[The Admiral, Rose and Gerald go out. Lady Frederick goes up to Paradine and takes his hands.

Lady Frederick

Thanks awfully. You are a good friend.

Fouldes

By George, how your eyes glitter!

Lady Frederick

It's only belladonna, you know.

Fouldes

I'm not such a fool as my nephew, my dear.

Lady Frederick

Why did you do it?

Fouldes

D'you know what gratitude is?

Lady Frederick

Thanks for past favours and a lively sense of benefits to come.

Fouldes

Well, yesterday you had my sister in the hollow of your hand. She gave you great provocation, and you burnt those confounded letters.

Lady Frederick

My dear Paradine, I can't get over my own magnanimity. And what are the benefits to come?

Fouldes

Well it might be five per cent. on the capital.

Lady Frederick

I don't know why you should squeeze my hands all the time.

Fouldes

But it isn't. Look here, don't you get awfully tired of racketting about?

Lady Frederick

Oh, my dear friend, I'm sick to death of it. I've got half a mind to retire from the world and bury myself in a hermitage.

Fouldes

So have I, and I've bought the lease of a little house in Norfolk Street, Park Lane.

Lady Frederick

Just the place for a hermitage – fashionable without being vulgar.

Fouldes

And I propose to live there quite quietly, and I shall just subsist on a few dried herbs, don't you know.

Lady Frederick

But do have them cooked by a really good French chef; it makes such a difference.

Fouldes

And what d'you say to joining me?

Lady Frederick

I?

Fouldes

You.

Lady Frederick

Oh, I am a success to-day. That's another proposal of marriage.

Fouldes

It sounds very much like it.

Lady Frederick

I've already had three this morning.

Fouldes

Then I should think you've said "no" quite often enough.

Lady Frederick

Come at ten o'clock to-morrow, and you shall see me make up.

Fouldes

D'you think that would choke me off? D'you suppose I don't know that behind that very artificial complexion there's a dear little woman called Betsy who's genuine to the bottom of her soul?

Lady Frederick

Oh, don't be so sentimental or I shall cry.

Fouldes

Well, what is it to be?

Lady Frederick

[Her voice breaking.] D'you like me still, Paradine, after all these years?

Fouldes

Yes. [She looks at him, her lips quivering. He stretches out his arms, and she, breaking down, hides her face on his shoulder.] Now don't be an ass, Betsy… I know you'll say in a minute I'm the only man you ever loved.

Lady Frederick

[Looking up with a laugh.] I shan't… But what will your sister say?

Fouldes

I'll tell her there was only one way in which I could save Charlie from your clutches.

Lady Frederick

What?

Fouldes

By marrying you myself.

Lady Frederick

[Putting up her face.] Monster.

[He kisses her lips.]

THE END

THE EXPLORER

CHARACTERS

Alexander Mackenzie

Richard Lomas

Dr. Adamson

Sir Robert Boulger, Bt.

George Allerton

The Rev. James Carbery

Captain Mallins

Miller

Charles

Lady Kelsey

Mrs. Crowley

Lucy Allerton

Time: The Present Day

Scene: The First and Third Acts take place at Lady Kelsey's house; the Second at Mackenzie's camp in Central Africa; and the Fourth at the house of Richard Lomas.

The Performing Rights of this play are fully protected, and permission to perform it, whether by Amateurs or Professionals, must be obtained in advance from the author's Sole Agent, R. Golding Bright, 20 Green Street, Leicester Square, London, W.C., from whom all particulars can be obtained

THE FIRST ACT

Scene: Lady Kelsey's drawing-room in Mayfair. At the back is a window leading on to a balcony. On the right a door leads to the staircase, and on the left is another door. It is the sumptuous room of a rich woman.

[Lady Kelsey is seated, dressed in black; she is a woman of fifty, kind, emotional, and agitated. She is drying her eyes. Mrs. Crowley, a pretty little woman of twenty-eight, very beautifully dressed, vivacious and gesticulative, is watching her quietly. The Rev. James Carbery, a young curate, tall and impressive in appearance, ponderous and self-important, is very immaculate in a silk waistcoat and a large gold cross.

Carbery

I cannot tell you how sincerely I feel for you in this affliction, Lady Kelsey.

Lady Kelsey

You're very kind. Every one has been very kind. But I shall never get over it. I shall never hold up my head again.

Mrs. Crowley

Nonsense! You talk as if the whole thing weren't perfectly monstrous. Surely you don't for a moment suppose that your brother-in-law won't be able to explain everything away?

Lady Kelsey

God forbid! But still, it's dreadful to think that at this very moment my poor sister's husband is standing in the felon's dock.

Carbery

Dreadful, dreadful!

Lady Kelsey

If you only knew the agonies I've suffered since Fred was arrested! At first I couldn't believe it, I wouldn't believe it. If I'd only known such a thing was possible, I'd have done anything to help him.

Carbery

But had you any idea he was in difficulties?

Lady Kelsey

He came to me and said he must have three thousand pounds at once. But I'd given him money so often since my poor sister died, and every one said I oughtn't to give him any more. After all, someone must look after his children, and if I don't hoard my money a little, George and Lucy will be penniless.

Mrs. Crowley

Oh, you were quite right to refuse.

Lady Kelsey

I thought it would only go in senseless extravagances as all the rest has gone, and when he said it was a matter of life and death, I couldn't believe it. He'd said that so often.

Carbery

It's shocking to think a man of his position and abilities should have come to such a pass.

Mrs. Crowley

Dear Mr. Carbery, don't draw the very obvious moral. We're all quite wretched enough as it is.

Lady Kelsey

And two days later Lucy came to me with a white face to say that he had been arrested for forging a cheque.

Carbery

I only met him once, and I'm bound to say I thought him a most charming man.

Lady Kelsey

Ah, that's what ruined him. He was always so entirely delightful. He could never say no to any one. But there's not an atom of harm in him. I'm quite certain he's never done anything criminal; he may have been foolish, but wicked never.

Mrs. Crowley

Of course he'll be able to clear himself. There's not the least doubt about that.

Lady Kelsey

But think of the disgrace of it. A public trial. And Fred Allerton of all people! The Allertons were always so proud of their family. It was almost a mania with them.

Mrs. Crowley

For centuries they've cherished the firm belief that there was no one in the county fit to black their boots.

Carbery

Pride goeth before a fall.

Mrs. Crowley

[Smiling.] And proverbs before a clergyman.

Lady Kelsey

They wouldn't give him bail, so he's remained in prison till now. Of course, I made Lucy and George come here.

Mrs. Crowley

You've been quite charming, Lady Kelsey, as every one knew you'd be. But don't think of these wretched weeks of suspense. Think only that Mr. Allerton has got his chance at last. Why, the trial may be over now, and he may this very minute be on his way to this house.

Carbery

What will he do when it's over? The position will be surely a little unpleasant.

Lady Kelsey

I've talked it over with Lucy, and – I've made it possible for them all to go abroad. They'll need rest and quiet. Poor things, poor things!

Carbery

I suppose Miss Allerton and George are at the Old Bailey.

Lady Kelsey

No, their father begged them to stay away. They've been in all day, waiting for the papers.

Mrs. Crowley

But who is going to bring you the news? Surely you're not going to wait for the papers?

Lady Kelsey

Oh, no, Dick Lomas is coming. He's one of the witnesses for Fred, and my nephew Bobby Boulger.

Mrs. Crowley

And what about Mr. Mackenzie? He told me he would be there.

Carbery

Is that the great traveller? I thought I saw in the paper that he'd already started for Africa.

Lady Kelsey

Not yet. He's going at the beginning of the month. Oh, he's been so good to us during this time. All our friends have been good to us.

Carbery

I shouldn't have thought there was much of the milk of human kindness to overflow in Alexander Mackenzie. By all accounts he dealt with the slave-traders in Africa with a good deal of vigour.

Mrs. Crowley

The slave-traders must be quaking in their shoes if they know he's starting out again, for he's made up his mind to exterminate them, and when Alec Mackenzie makes up his mind to do a thing, he appears to do it.

Lady Kelsey

He has the reputation of a hard man, but no one could be more delightful than he has been to me.

Mrs. Crowley

I don't think I like him, but he's certainly a strong man, and in England just now every one's so weak and floppy, it's rather a relief to come across somebody who's got a will of iron and nerves of steel.

[George Allerton comes in. He is a very young man, good-looking, though at the moment pale and haggard, with a rather weak face.George

I thought Lucy was here. [To Carbery and Mrs. Crowley.] How d'you do? Have you seen Lucy?

Mrs. Crowley

I went to her room for a moment.

George

What is she doing?

Mrs. Crowley

Reading.

George

I wish I could take it as calmly as she does. An outsider would think there was nothing the matter at all. Oh, it's too awful!

Lady Kelsey

My dear, you must bear up. We must all hope for the best.

George

But there is no best. Whatever happens, it means disgrace and dishonour. How could he? How could he?

Lady Kelsey

No one knows your father as I do, George. I'm sure he's never been anything but thoughtless and foolish.

George

Of course he's not been actually criminal. That's absurd. But it's bad enough as it is.

Mrs. Crowley

You mustn't take it too much to heart. In another half-hour at the utmost your father will be here with everything cleared up, and you'll be able to go back to Oxford with a clear conscience.

George

D'you think I can go to Oxford again when my father has been tried for forgery? No, no! No, no! I'd rather shoot myself.

Lady Kelsey

My poor boy… Where have you been all day?

George

Heaven knows! I've walked through the streets till I'm dog-tired. Oh, the suspense is too awful. My feet carried me to the Old Bailey, and I would have given anything to go in and see how things were going, but I'd promised the Pater I wouldn't.

Lady Kelsey

How did he look this morning?

George

He was most awfully worn and ill. I don't believe he'll ever get over it. I saw his counsel before the case began. They told me it was bound to come all right.

Mrs. Crowley

Is there anything in the evening papers?

George

I haven't dared to look. The placards are awful.

Carbery

Why, what do they say?

George

Can't you imagine? "Gentleman charged with forgery." "County gentleman at the Old Bailey." And all the rest of it. Damn them! Damn them!

Lady Kelsey

It may be all over by now.

George

I feel that I shall never sleep again. I couldn't close my eyes last night. To think that one's own father…

Lady Kelsey

For goodness' sake be quiet.

George

[Starting.] There's a ring at the bell.

Lady Kelsey

I've given orders that no one is to be admitted but Dick Lomas and Bobbie.

Mrs. Crowley

It must be finished by now. It's one or the other of them come to tell you the result.

Lady Kelsey

Oh, I'm so frightfully anxious.

George

Aunt, you don't think…

Lady Kelsey

No, no, of course not. They must find him not guilty.

[The Butler enters followed by Dick Lomas, a clean-shaven dapper man, with a sharp face and good-natured smile. He is between thirty-five and forty, but slim and youthful. With him comes Sir Robert Boulger, Lady Kelsey's nephew, a good-looking, spruce youth of twenty-two.Butler

Mr. Lomas, Sir Robert Boulger.

George

[Excitedly.] Well, well? For God's sake tell us quickly.

Dick

My dear people, I have nothing to tell.

George

Oh!

[He staggers with sudden faintness and falls to the floor.Dick

Hulloa! What's this?

Mrs. Crowley

Poor boy!

[They crowd round him.George

It's all right. What a fool I am! I was so strung up.

Dick

You'd better come to the window.

[He and Boulger take the boy's arms and lead him to the window. George leans against the balcony.Carbery

I'm afraid I must go away. Every Wednesday at four I read Little Lord Fauntleroy to forty charwomen.

Lady Kelsey

Good-bye. And thanks so much for coming.

Mrs. Crowley

[Shaking hands with him.] Good-bye. A clergyman always helps one so much to bear other people's misfortunes.

[Carbery goes out, and in a moment Robert Boulger comes back into the room.Lady Kelsey

Is he better?

Boulger

Oh, much. He'll be all right in a minute. [Lady Kelsey goes to the window, and he turns to Mrs. Crowley.] You are a brick to come here to-day, when they're all in such awful trouble.

Mrs. Crowley

[With a little hesitation.] Did you really come away before the trial was ended?

Boulger

Why, of course. What did you think? You don't imagine they'll convict him?

Mrs. Crowley

It's too dreadful.

Boulger

Where is Lucy? I was hoping to get a glimpse of her.

Mrs. Crowley

I wouldn't trouble her to-day if I were you. I think she most wants to be left alone.

Boulger

I wanted to tell her that if I could do anything at all, she had only to command.

Mrs. Crowley

I think she knows that. But I'll give her the message if you like… You're very devoted.

Boulger

I've been madly in love with her ever since I was ten.

Mrs. Crowley

Take care then. There's nothing so tedious as the constant lover.

[Dick comes into the room and speaks to Robert Boulger.Dick

George is quite well now. He wants you to smoke a cigarette with him.

Boulger

Certainly.

[He goes on to the balcony.Dick

[When Boulger is gone.] At least, he will the moment he sees you.

Mrs. Crowley

What do you mean by that?

Dick

Merely that I wanted to talk to you. And Robert Boulger, being a youth of somewhat limited intelligence, seemed in the way.

Mrs. Crowley

Why did you leave the Old Bailey?

Dick

My dear lady, I couldn't stand it. You don't know what it is to sit there and watch a man tortured, a man you've known all your life, whom you've dined with times out of number, in whose house you've stayed. He had just the look of a hunted beast, and his face was grey with terror.

Mrs. Crowley

How was the case going?

Dick

I couldn't judge. I could only see those haggard, despairing eyes.

Mrs. Crowley

But you're a barrister. You must have heard his answers. What did he reply to all the questions?

Dick

He seemed quite dazed. I don't think he took in the gist of his cross-examination.

Mrs. Crowley

But the man's innocent.

Dick

Yes, we all hope that.

Mrs. Crowley

What d'you mean? There can be no doubt about that. When he was arrested Lucy went to him and begged him to tell her the exact truth. He swore that he wasn't guilty.

Dick

Poor Lucy! She's borne up wonderfully. She'll stick to her father through thick and thin.

Mrs. Crowley

[Abruptly.] Mr. Lomas, you're trying to put me off. It's not fair to let Lucy buoy herself up with false hopes. She's absolutely convinced that her father will be acquitted.

Dick

Well, in another half-hour we shall all know. When I left, the judge was just going to sum up.

Mrs. Crowley

Mr. Lomas, what is your opinion?

[He looks at her steadily for a moment.Dick

Were you very much surprised when you heard Fred Allerton was arrested?

Mrs. Crowley

Good heavens, I was overwhelmed!

Dick

[Dryly.] Ah!

Mrs. Crowley

If you aggravate me I shall box your ears.

Dick

When first I knew Fred he was a very rich man. You know that the Allertons are one of the oldest families in Cheshire?

Mrs. Crowley

Yes. I think Lucy's only failing is an inordinate pride in her family. She thinks it very snobbish to have any particular respect for a peer of the realm, but only natural to look up to persons of good family.

Dick

Ah, you see, you and I who have a quite indecent lack of ancestors, can't realise what the cult of family may be. There are families in the remote parts of England – not very rich, not very clever, and not very good-looking – who would look askance at a belted earl who came to demand their daughter's hand in marriage. They have a natural conviction that they're the salt of the earth, and in their particular corner they rule more absolutely than half the monarchs in Europe. The Allertons were like that. But Fred somehow seemed to belong to a different stock. The first thing he did was to play ducks and drakes with his fortune.

Mrs. Crowley

But men ought to be extravagant. That's what they're there for.

Dick

Women always took his side because he had an irresistible charm of manner.

Mrs. Crowley

I think George has, too, a little.

Dick

I hope for Lucy's sake he will turn out a different man from his father. I wish he weren't so like him in appearance. At last Fred Allerton had squandered every penny, and he married Lady Kelsey's sister, one of the three rich daughters of a Liverpool merchant. But he ran through her money, too, gambling, racing, and so forth, and she died of a broken heart – adoring him still.

Mrs. Crowley

You're as well informed as an encyclopædia, Mr. Lomas.

Dick

You see, I was made the trustee for the poor remains of Mrs. Allerton's fortune, and I know how Lucy has managed to keep all their heads above water. She's wonderful. Ever since she was a child she's held the reins in her own hands. She's stuck to her father, though Lady Kelsey implored her to leave him to his own foolish ways. She saw that George was decently educated. She hid from the world all the little shifts and devices to which she had to resort in order to keep up an appearance of decency.

Mrs. Crowley

I suppose you, too, think Fred Allerton little better than a scamp?

Dick

My dear lady, when a man has had to leave his club because he plays cards too well, it's at least permissible to suppose that there's something odd about him.

Mrs. Crowley

Here's Lady Kelsey. For heaven's sake try and amuse her a little.

[Lady Kelsey comes back into the room.

Lady Kelsey

Oh, Dick, I'm so full of my own troubles, I forgot to ask about yours. I'm so sorry to hear that you're ill.

Dick

On the contrary, I'm in the very best of health.

Lady Kelsey

But I saw in the papers that you were going to give up your seat in the House owing to ill-health.

Dick

Of course, I'd forgotten. My heart is seriously deranged.

Mrs. Crowley

How dreadful! What is the matter with it?

Dick

Can you ask? I've banged it about at your feet so long that its functions are excessively impaired. And it's beaten all my waistcoats out of shape.

Mrs. Crowley

Don't be so foolish. I was quite alarmed.

Dick

I'm going to retire.

Lady Kelsey

From the bar as well?

Dick

From the bar as well. Henceforth I shall cultivate only such arts and graces as are proper to the man of leisure. My fellow men are a great deal too strenuous, and I propose to offer them the spectacle of a complete idler who demands from the world neither honours nor profit, but only entertainment.

Mrs. Crowley

D'you mean to say you're going to give up a large practice and a position which may be very important merely to gratify a foolish whim?

Dick

I haven't time to work. Life is so much too short. A little while ago it occurred to me that I was nearly forty. [To Mrs. Crowley.] D'you know the feeling?

Mrs. Crowley

No, of course not. Don't be so uncivil.

Dick

By the way, how old are you?

Mrs. Crowley

Twenty-nine!

Dick

Nonsense! There's no such age.

Mrs. Crowley

I beg your pardon, upper parlourmaids are always twenty-nine.

Dick

For years I've spent eight hours a day meddling with silly persons' silly quarrels, and eight hours more governing the nation. I've never been able to spend more than half my income. I'm merely working myself to death in order to leave a fortune to my nieces, two desperately plain girls with red noses.

Lady Kelsey

But what are you going to do?

Dick

Oh, I don't know. Perhaps I'll try my hand at big game shooting, if Alec will take me on this expedition of his. I've always thought shooting would be an agreeable pastime if partridges were the size of well-grown sheep and pheasants a little larger than a cow.

Mrs. Crowley

Then the breakdown in your health is all humbug?

Dick

Absolute humbug. If I were to tell the truth people would shut me up in a lunatic asylum. I've come to the conclusion that there's only one game in the world worth playing, and that's the game of life. I'm rich enough to devote myself to it entirely.

Mrs. Crowley

But you'll get bored to death.

Dick

Not I! Why, I'm growing younger every day. My dear Mrs. Crowley, I don't feel a day more than eighteen.

Mrs. Crowley

You certainly look quite twenty-five.

Dick

I haven't a white hair in my head.

Mrs. Crowley

I suppose your servant plucks them out every morning.

Dick

Oh, very rarely. One a month at the outside.

Mrs. Crowley

I think I see one on the left temple.

Dick

Really! How careless of Charles! I must speak to him.

Mrs. Crowley

Let me pluck it out.

Dick

I shall allow you to do nothing so familiar.

[George comes hurriedly into the room.George

There's Alec Mackenzie. He's just driven up in a cab.

Dick

He must have come from the trial. Then it's all over.

Lady Kelsey

Quick! Go to the stairs, or Miller won't let him up.

[George runs across the room and opens the door.George

[Calling.] Miller, Miller, Mr. Mackenzie's to come up.

[Lucy Allerton, hearing a commotion, comes in. She is older than George, a tall girl, white now, with eyes heavy from want of sleep. She has lived in the country all her life, and has brought up to London a sort of remoteness from the world. She is beautiful in a very English manner, and her clear-cut features are an index to a character in which the moral notions are peculiarly rigid. Self-control is a quality which she possesses in a marked degree, and one which she enormously admires in others.

Lucy

Who is it?

George

It's Alec Mackenzie. He's come from the trial!

Lucy

Then it's finished at last. [She shakes hands with Dick.] It's so good of you to come.