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“She can’t run.”
“What does that mean?”
Mia stepped back from him, a happy smile on her face. “Someone has to take care of you.”
“I’m pretty good at taking care of myself. I’ve been doing it for a while. And I do things the right way, the legal way. Lawyer, remember.”
“I try to forget that. It makes me itchy to think of you being a lawyer. You seem so normal and nice.” Mia turned back to Lindsey. “That was a short nap.”
Lindsey nodded. “I just get tired easily.”
“So, what do the two of you do for fun when you’re tied to hospital beds? I spent a lot of time listening to music when was in the hospital.” Mia pulled an MP3 player out of her pocket and handed it to Lindsey. “All charged up and ready to go.”
“Mia, if that—” Blake started, but his sister shook her finger at him. He didn’t want to think about the fact that Mia had obviously just given his daughter something rigged with a tracking device. He closed his eyes and waited.
“That’s great, Aunt Mia.” Lindsey sounded as happy as any preteen.
The door opened. Blake waited, listening to hesitant steps. Jana entered the room cautiously, glancing from Mia to Lindsey and back to Mia. “Hello, Mia.”
“Jana.”
“It’s good to see you.”
Mia smiled at Jana. “I brought Lindsey some music. I know from experience that hospital beds can be boring.”
That triggered Lindsey’s curiosity. “Were you in the hospital?”
“Yes, I got shot.” She pointed to her right arm. She was still struggling to regain strength. The doctors had told her it wouldn’t happen, but Mia didn’t like to be told no.
“Wow, cool. I mean, bad that you got shot, but...” Lindsey obviously loved Mia. And so did Blake, when his sister wasn’t in everyone’s business playing detective.
“I really love you, Lindsey Cooper.” Mia kissed Lindsey’s cheek. “Jana, I’m glad you came back.”
“Me, too, Mia.”
Mia stopped in front of Jana, her jaw set at that determined angle she had. “I hope so.”
His sister didn’t realize it, but in her protectiveness, she’d pushed him to a place where he had to be the one to defend Jana, or to at least be on her side. He didn’t want her to have any reason, any excuse to walk away.
* * *
Jana watched as Mia left, the door closing quietly behind her, and then she looked at Blake. “Well, it was nice to see Mia again.”
“I don’t think she likes you.” Lindsey spoke, but her tone was distant, unconcerned. Jana looked at her daughter, who already was listening to music, a happy smile on her face.
“Thanks, I hadn’t noticed.” Jana sat down on the chair between their beds. For the most part the Coopers had been kind. Not exactly friendly, but kind. Angie had been the most welcoming, of course. Tim barely spoke. Jackson seemed to be on her side. Lucky seemed to tolerate her. Gage was busy with his new wife and didn’t have much to say. Sophie spoke to her, and Heather had been willing to be a donor but hadn’t wanted a cup of coffee Jana offered.
“Mia is always suspicious,” Blake offered, his voice quiet but unaffected. “Law enforcement training, I guess.”
“I’m not going to run, Blake. I know that I can’t. And I don’t want to.”
“I’m counting on that, Jana.” He glanced at his daughter. She seemed to be listening to music, but he saw her eyes flash with awareness in their direction. “Let’s let it go for now.”
Voices in the hallway drifted to their room. A moment later Nurse Palmer stepped into the room, a big smile on her face. Dr. Carver, the head of the transplant team, was with her.
“It’s a go.” Dr. Carver smiled at Lindsey and then at Blake. “You haven’t been starved for no reason. We’ve scheduled the surgery for this evening.”
Blake nodded and then shot his gaze to Lindsey. “You ready for this, ladybug?”
Jana’s heart squeezed at the tone he used with their daughter. She blinked back tears as the moment hit her.
All of the months of worrying were about to end. She drew in a breath, but then she realized it wasn’t true. The worry wouldn’t end. There could be complications, rejection of the donor organ, infection. She knew every possible outcome. She’d talked to so many doctors. She’d worried so much.
A hand reached for hers, Blake’s hand, bigger and stronger than hers. She looked down at the man in the hospital bed, the picture of health, of rugged masculinity. He smiled up at her, a smile that still turned her world inside out. Even after all of the years apart, it still happened.
“Don’t worry,” he said without a bit of hesitation. “I’ve got this.”
She nodded but didn’t trust her voice to answer. Nurse Palmer touched her shoulder, standing close to her.
“Jana, the emotions are going to hit now. I know this has been a long and difficult journey. I know there are still concerns and you don’t know how you should feel. Take a deep breath and be relieved. There will be plenty of time later to worry more—” Nurse Palmer smiled “—but there will also be great times ahead for you and your family. Blake is a perfect match. He’s a little older than we like—” she grinned at him “—but he has two healthy kidneys, and one of them will save your daughter. That doesn’t mean there can’t be complications, but it really does make things so much better for Lindsey.”
Jana nodded again. Blake’s hand on hers was warm and strong, sending his strength to her. “I’m good.”
“We need to get these two prepped for surgery. We’re going to move them in a few minutes. A nurse will take you to the O.R. waiting room. A social worker will give you updates.”
Jana closed her eyes as her body began to tremble. It was all too real. The moment was upon them, and suddenly she couldn’t be strong anymore. But she had to be.
“Jana, hug Lindsey. We need to go make a kidney swap.” Blake’s voice was light, casual. She opened her eyes and managed to smile, not cry.
“Thank you.” She leaned, and still holding his hand, she kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”
He reached up, cupping her cheek with his hand, forcing her to look him in those hazel eyes of his. “This is going to work. Don’t lose faith now.”
“I won’t.”
Slowly she released his hand and turned to Lindsey. The MP3 player was on the tray and Lindsey’s eyes were huge, worried. Jana found her strength again. Right now she had to be Lindsey’s rock.
“You’re going to be healthy again, Lindsey.” Jana hugged her daughter close. “You’re going to be able to do all the things you love.”
“Ride a horse?”
Jana laughed at that, “Let’s take one thing at a time.”
“Mom, I’m not afraid.” Lindsey’s smile grew. “I’m ready.”
Jana nodded. Lindsey had found faith before Jana, and she’d led her mom to God. Now she said the words with a different meaning. She was ready for whatever happened.
“I’m going to be there when you wake up,” she promised.
“I know.” Lindsey cleared her throat. “I know I said things. I was mad. I’m still mad. But I love you, Mom.”
“Oh, Lindsey, thank you.” She hugged her daughter again, holding her tight.
“Time for us to go.” Nurse Palmer put a hand on Jana’s back. Jana turned and suddenly the room filled with staff that hadn’t been there seconds ago.
“Okay. I need to tell Blake’s family.” Jana swallowed hard. Through the surgery they would have each other.
She tried not to think about being alone. She’d done this to herself. Tears clouded her vision as she glanced back at Lindsey and then at Blake.
Be strong. Be strong.
“Jana, we’ll get through this.” Blake spoke as she reached for the door. She wished she could say something, but her throat tightened and tears clouded her vision. She nodded and walked out.
We. The word stuck in her mind as she headed down the hall. She knew he meant that he and Lindsey would get through the surgery. But she needed to be a part of that we. She needed it, at least for today. For the next week. For the next year. She needed to be included in his life, in the strength that was Blake Cooper.
And once Lindsey had recovered, then Jana could be strong on her own again.
Chapter Four
Nine days after the surgery, Blake and Lindsey went home, to Dawson. The car pulled up the driveway to his house with Jana driving and Lindsey in the backseat. His family had said their goodbyes at the hospital, knowing the three of them needed to do this together, without an audience. They were going home, but they weren’t a family. He didn’t entertain any ideas that they would ever be a family again. But it meant something, to have Lindsey coming back to this house. Home again.
It meant something that Jana had brought her back, even if it had only been to get their daughter the medical help she needed. The reasons didn’t matter to Blake, just that his daughter was back.
On the other hand, Blake wondered if Jana regretted that Lindsey’s health had brought her back to a town and a way of life that she had never wanted.
The car stopped. Blake glanced back at his daughter. She looked a little dazed, a little lost. “We’re home.”
“Yes.” Her one-word response came out in a whisper.
“Are you worried?” His hand paused on the door handle.
“No, not really. It’s just strange to be here and to think that this is where I’ll get to stay, that I won’t have to move.”
“You won’t have to move.” Blake looked from Lindsey to Jana. His ex-wife blanched a little at his tone. “Let’s get out and see if things are still in one piece. Leaving Jackson and Travis in charge is never a good idea.”
Blake pushed the door open and stepped slowly out of the sedan he’d talked Jana into driving. His car. His home. She hadn’t liked the idea of giving up her rental car and using his car. Why should that bother her?
Jana and Lindsey would be living in his house, and he was moving into the apartment over the garage at Cooper Creek. That apartment would feel good after living in a hotel next to the hospital for the past week. He also planned on driving his truck now that he was home. A man could only be taxied around so much before it got under his skin.
His gaze caught and held Jana’s as she stood looking at the house before opening the door for their daughter. He’d been gone a little over a week. She’d been gone over ten years. Nevertheless, they’d managed to forge something that felt like friendship. Or maybe it was just a truce. Everything he did at this point was for Lindsey’s sake.
Jana opened the door so their daughter could get out of the car. He watched, waiting for her reaction.
It was a big moment, her first day back in the house she’d lived in as a toddler. He kept an eye on her face as he circled the car to help her. She glanced at him, then at the log-sided ranch house. Her eyes watered a little and she wavered. He reached for her hand. Jana stepped back, giving them space.
Blake spoke first. “You’re home.”
Lindsey nodded. She looked from him to her mother. “I don’t remember it.”
“You were a baby,” he said.
“I was almost three.”
He laughed. “Right, you should have had a car and maybe a place of your own by then.”
“You know what I mean.” She walked next to him, leaning close to his side. “I mean, I should remember. I remembered you. I wanted to remember this house.”
He didn’t know what else to say. He glanced back at Jana. She was pulling suitcases out of the trunk of the car and he guessed fighting tears. He saw her hand swipe at her cheek and he wondered, was she crying over the past or because she was stuck here?
He chided himself for being unfair. At some point he knew they’d work out a relationship that suited their new lives, as divorced parents sharing a child.
They reached the front porch. “Can you make it?”
Lindsey nodded but her grip on his arm tightened. He worried about her, probably more than he should. The doctors had declared the transplant a success. She already looked healthier, stronger than when he first saw her in the hospital.
Before they could climb the steps a loud bark split the air. Blake’s border collie, Sam, came running around the corner of the house. The dog ran straight at them. Blake shielded Lindsey’s body, but she was trying to get past him, making it hard to keep her safe from the dog that definitely wanted to jump on her.
Instead, Sam slid to a stop and sat down, his tongue lolling out of his open mouth. His black-and-white fur was coated in burrs. He’d obviously been in the field chasing something.
“Is this our dog?” Lindsey reached past him to pet the dog.
“Yes, this is Sam.”
“Did you have him when I was little?”
“No, we had another dog. He was old.” Blake couldn’t help thinking about that dog, Bobby, and how he’d followed Lindsey everywhere. Jana had always been worried about germs and dirt. But Lindsey had loved him. Bobby, a blue heeler, had loved her, and if she walked a little too far away from the house he’d herd her back to them.
She’d had a dog, a cat and a pony, and she would have had cousins to play with.
As anger pushed its way in, he took a deep breath. Lindsey was petting Sam, and Jana was dragging suitcases up to the front porch that ran the length of the house.
“Let me help you.” He gave the dog a warning glance before stepping away. Jana relinquished one of the suitcases.
“You’re not supposed to carry anything heavy,” she warned as she dragged the largest suitcase to the front door.
Blake took the handle from her. “Open the door, Jana. I think I can manage to drag a suitcase in the house.”
She shook her head but she opened the door. She wouldn’t look at him, but her hand brushed at her cheeks again. He followed her inside. It felt good to be home. The floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room let in the early-afternoon light. The house smelled clean. It looked as if he’d just been here. But he knew that the only ones who’d been here were his brothers, feeding animals and checking on the place while Blake stayed in Tulsa with Lindsey. And Jana.
He’d been released from the hospital a few short days after the surgery. Lindsey had been kept longer, to make sure there were no signs of rejection.
Jana had walked away from him. He leaned the suitcases against the wall and followed. She was standing in the dining room looking out the window, appearing to really enjoy the view of the Oklahoma fields.
“Jana?”
She shook her head but she couldn’t face him. Her hand came up again, swiping at her cheek. She sniffled. He let out a long sigh, because he wasn’t sure if he was ready to pretend the past ten years hadn’t happened.
There had been times in the past couple of weeks that it had felt right, having Jana and Lindsey back in his life. Talking, sharing moments, and he’d thought that maybe they could go back to the way things were.
