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“It’s not Carter.”
“Then what?” She paused and reminded herself to not get so irritated. “I’ve still got work to do before I can go home. And I’d like to head out soon since it’s snowing.”
The discomfort tugging at the lines of his face sent another surge of worry through her, making her wish she’d ignored his presence out on the sidewalk. Instinct told her she didn’t want to hear whatever he’d come to tell her.
“A few minutes ago, I received a call from Dallas P.D. Sammi was in an accident.”
She went still, not even sure her lungs were pumping air.
“Is she okay?” The words came out in a ragged whisper.
Simon stood silent for a moment too long, a moment in which she grasped the terrible truth of what he was going to say next. Her mind screamed at her to flee. If she didn’t hear the words, they wouldn’t be true.
“I’m so sorry, Keri. She and Ben were both killed.”
She stared at Simon without really seeing him. He was no more than a hulking blur in a world suddenly gone very dark. It took so much effort to form a single word.
“Both?”
Simon took a step forward, and his footfalls on the floor sounded so much louder than they actually were, like the booming of cannons instead of the normal tread of boots. Keri retreated away from his outstretched hand. She couldn’t let him touch her. If he made contact, she’d know he was real, that what he’d said wasn’t just part of a horrendous nightmare. She could convince herself that she was really already at home, curled up in that chair in front of the fire asleep.
From somewhere beyond the disbelief, she managed to find the breath to utter another word. “Hannah?” As soon as she asked, she hated herself. She didn’t want to know, couldn’t imagine going on in a world where that precious little girl had died before seeing her first Christmas.
“She’s fine, no injuries.”
She collapsed into a chair and latched onto that one glimmer of good news among an ocean of bad. “Where is she?”
“In state custody until you can arrive.”
It took several seconds for the words to travel from her eardrum to the part of her brain that actually understood. Memories jerked her back more than a year, to when she and Sammi had sat on Keri’s front porch enjoying the pleasant October air.
“I have a favor to ask you,” Sammi had said as she ran a hand over her slight baby bump.
“Sure.”
“Ben and I are drawing up legal documents, and we want to name you as the baby’s guardian should anything happen to us.”
“Nothing’s going to happen to you. You’re both healthy as a horse.”
“You know things happen unexpectedly sometimes.” Like their parents dying within a year of each other, both from cancer. “Ben’s parents already love this child, but they can’t take on raising a baby.”
The Spencers were wonderful people, but they were already in their seventies. Ben was their only child, born after they’d given up on having children.
Oh, God, they’d just lost their only child. Something about the brutality of that pain hit Keri more than her own.
Simon bent down in front of her, but he didn’t say something asinine like, “Are you okay?” She almost wished he would so she could get angry and scream at him. She wanted to kill the messenger, do something that would fill the growing emptiness, show some emotion before her mind shut down and forgot how.
He didn’t touch her, but she got the impression he was there to catch her if she suddenly fell over. Normally, that would make her mad, Simon Teague thinking she needed saving. Really, anyone thinking she needed saving. But tonight wasn’t normal, was it?
They sat in silence, the only sounds the drone of the heating unit running and the whistle of the wind around the edge of the building. After what seemed like hours, Simon was the one to speak first.
“It’s too dangerous to drive up there tonight, but we can go in the morning.”
His words made no sense. Go where? Why would he be going anywhere with her?
“Keri?” When his hand came to rest atop hers in her lap, she jerked as if he’d hit her with a branding iron.
Keri snatched her hand away and felt tears burn her eyes. Hot, searing tears that would surely make her go blind. “No, you’re wrong. I don’t believe it.”
It was the way Simon sat without speaking, how his expression continued to convey sorrow that broke through her final denial. Her fight dissolved and her chin trembled, but she somehow held her tears back. If she fell apart, she’d never be able to find and reassemble all the pieces.
She pushed her chair back, away from him and the truth written all over his face. When she stood, her legs shook so much she expected to fall into a heap on the floor. She walked over and grabbed the mop and bucket of dirty water. As she carried them to the utility room and set about dumping the water down the drain and rinsing the mop, she sensed Simon in the doorway. She ignored him as she finished her work then headed for her coat and purse.
She flicked off the lights to the kitchen and made for the front door. Simon caught her arm halfway there.
“Where are you going?”
“To Dallas.”
“Not tonight.”
“Yes, tonight. My niece needs me.”
He increased the pressure on her arm enough to make her look up at him. “Yes, she does. But she needs you alive.”
She wanted to ignore him, but a voice deep inside her acknowledged he was right. She couldn’t be so reckless, not for her own sake but for Hannah’s.
“Go home, Keri. Pull together whatever you need. I’ll pick you up first thing in the morning.”
“I can drive myself.”
“Not in that little car of yours. The roads are really bad in Dallas.”
She let her breath out in a long, shaky sigh. “I said I wouldn’t go tonight.”
“I heard you. Your car won’t be any more capable tomorrow. And I don’t want you behind the wheel that far, anyway.”
Damn it, why couldn’t he just leave? He’d done his duty. She glared at him, holding on to her frustration so she didn’t have to think about the other emotions grasping at her like claws. Not seeing any other alternative, she said, “Fine,” then headed toward the door.
She waited for him to step outside so she could lock up. Before she could flee to her little Honda, he stepped into her path.
“Promise me you won’t go anywhere tonight.”
“I’m just going home.” She pushed past him so he couldn’t see the tears building and threatening to spill down her cheeks.
When she sank into the driver’s seat of her car, she had to bite her lip to keep it from trembling. She blinked hard to clear her eyes, swiping at an errant tear. She couldn’t start crying or she might never stop.
She started the car and began the short drive to her house, the house she’d grown up in, where the three Mehler siblings had done homework and had parties and chased their shepherd mix, Trigger, trying to lasso him as if he was a wild horse.
“Oh, Sammi,” she said, choking on the words.
A glance in her rearview mirror revealed that Simon was following her, making sure she didn’t hightail it straight to Dallas. She gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles popped. Ironic that he was the one concerned about her lying.
She pulled into her driveway and walked inside without even looking in his direction. As soon as she closed the door and turned on the light, she heard him drive away.
And then all the memories filling the house rushed her. Their mom making strudel in the kitchen, their dad watching UT football games in the living room, Carter and Simon snickering about whatever boys snicker about, Sammi and her playing one on one in the driveway.
Sammi talking on the phone with friends.
Sammi getting ready for her prom date with Brad Fisher.
Sammi packing to leave for college.
Keri clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle a cry and slid down the door to the floor.
She had no idea how long she sat there, not crying but merely staring into space and trying to remember every moment of Sammi’s life. How could she be gone? Keri held out hope that this was all just a dream, one that felt way too real.
At some point, she struggled to her feet and started roaming from one room to another, trailing her hand over family photos, an afghan made by her mother, the blue faux granite countertops Keri had installed the previous year. When she ended up at the room she’d shared with Sammi, she couldn’t step inside. Since she now slept in the master bedroom, she didn’t come in here often. Now she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to enter the room again.
She closed the door on the past and went back downstairs to her own room. For a long time, she’d avoided moving into the master suite she’d always thought of as her parents’ domain. Only after she’d totally redone the bedroom and adjoining bathroom and gotten different furniture had she been able to call it hers and not feel as though she was invading their space.
Tonight it offered no comfort as she strode in and sank onto the side of her bed. Though she was tired, she knew herself well enough to know she wasn’t going to sleep a wink. If not for the crippling ice in Dallas, she’d be on the road. And to hell with Simon Teague’s concerns.
She spent the hours of the night packing, calling Sunshine to make arrangements for the operation of the bakery while she was gone and drinking countless cups of coffee. She even tried to go to bed only to discover she’d been right in the first place. She couldn’t sleep despite how her mind wanted to power down.
By the time dawn revealed the snow hadn’t amounted to more than the equivalent of a heavy frost, she was sitting next to her bags in the living room. She heard Simon’s department-issue SUV as soon as it turned onto her street. She had the front door locked and was down the steps before he pulled into her driveway.
He handed her a thermal mug of coffee, and she took it without a word. What was there to say? She could think of a dozen people with whom she’d rather be riding, but she didn’t want to put anyone else in danger on slick roads. She desperately wished she didn’t have to make the trip at all.
For a couple of hours, they made good time. But around Hico, they ran into the southern edge of the ice storm’s path. Simon had to slow down more with each mile they traveled until it felt as if they were barely moving. At this pace, it was going to take forever to reach Dallas and Hannah.
Keri found herself leaning forward and gripping the edge of her seat. Layers of ice bent tree limbs and caused power lines to swoop. Smoke poured out of chimneys, and she wondered if that was because the electricity and thus the heat were out. She hoped wherever Hannah was, she was warm and safe.
“Hard to believe something so pretty can be so dangerous,” Simon said.
They’d been quiet so long that the sound of his voice startled her. She couldn’t decide if the strained silence or talking to him was worse.
“Yeah.” That solitary word was all she could muster.
As the miles slowly ticked by, she glanced at Simon’s profile. He looked tense, and she wondered how much effort it was taking him to creep along at such an agonizing pace and to keep the SUV from sliding off into a ditch.
She bit her lip and stared out her side window, trying to bar the image of Ben and Sammi’s vehicle spinning out of control. Why had they been out in the storm, anyway? A surge of anger made her want to pound her fists into something hard and immovable. Sammi was smart, so why had she made such a stupid move? Why had she gotten herself killed?
Keri realized she might never get the answers to those questions, and that left her feeling even more bereft.
Their progress was so slow that she’d swear she could swim through taffy faster. By the time they reached the outskirts of Dallas, she was a ball of knotted muscles and blistering fatigue. Once in the city, the streets got marginally better. The sun was out and actually melting a bit of the accumulated ice.
When Simon finally pulled into a parking lot outside of a Dallas P.D. precinct, she let some of her tense muscles relax. They’d made it. But then she wasn’t sure if she had the strength to haul herself to her feet and inside.
“Keri?”
For some reason, the sound of Simon’s deep voice surprised her again.
“What?”
He looked across the vehicle at her. “Have you been able to reach Carter?”
She gripped the door handle so hard she was in danger of ripping it off. “No.” She refrained from reminding Simon that were it not for him, her brother might be with her now. She spurred her tired body into movement and got out of the SUV before Simon could ask any more questions she didn’t want to answer.
She’d tried Carter the night before only to discover the last number she had for him no longer worked. He was out there somewhere unaware that his oldest sister had died.
And it was all Simon Teague’s fault.
Chapter Two
Simon watched Keri as she and Ben’s parents handled the heartbreaking details of being next of kin. Her actions and responses were mechanical, like an autopilot program without a shred of emotion. He’d known her nearly their entire lives and felt he’d never known her less.
Keri Mehler had always been one part girl, one part ball of fire. Didn’t matter if she was making moves on the basketball court in high school, yanking her younger brother into line or telling Simon to take a soaring nosedive off the nearest bridge, she always did everything full out. But now? Now the fire was nowhere to be found, replaced by a detachment as cold as the ice that coated the world outside.
Would he be any different if he ever lost Nathan or Ryan?
But Keri’s new reality was even worse. She’d lost almost her entire family. All she had left was a brother who was God only knew where and a baby who’d lived a miracle and a tragedy in the same moment. A baby who would grow up looking to Keri to be her mother.
The door on the opposite side of the room opened and a woman who was probably with Child Protective Services walked in holding a sleeping Hannah. Keri stared without moving for so long that tension and awkwardness began to rob the room of air. The woman with Hannah in her arms shifted her gaze to him.
“She’s been fed and changed,” she said. “And we have some supplies for you—diapers, wipes, food. Car seat, too.”
He nodded then glanced at Keri again. He didn’t think he’d ever seen anything sadder, emptier. It was as though everything that made her who she was had simply disappeared as if it’d never existed.
Not wanting the woman or anyone with Dallas P.D. to think Keri wasn’t fit to care for Hannah, he started toward the little girl. Keri moved in the same instant, crossing the room to take the only part of Sammi that remained. Though she ran her fingertips across Hannah’s cheek, Keri’s expression didn’t change.
The other woman placed a hand on Keri’s shoulder. “I’m very sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you,” Keri said, her voice as hollow as an empty bucket. She pulled Hannah closer and walked out of the room.
The lady from CPS gave Simon a worried look. “Is she going to be okay?”
He nodded. “Eventually. Just a shock.”
“I can imagine. Does she have help?”
He hesitated a moment. “A brother, friends.” Of course the brother was so off the radar that he didn’t even know his oldest sister was dead yet. But Simon was banking on Keri snapping out of her dazed state and giving her niece all the love and care she could muster. She’d never do anything less. Sammi wouldn’t have named Keri guardian if she hadn’t believed her sister could handle the responsibility.
By the time he reached the corridor, Keri was already at the door to the parking lot. He grabbed the car seat sitting on the floor and followed her.
Without speaking, they worked together to get first the car seat and then Hannah settled into the back of the Tahoe before she froze. As they snapped the seat belt into place, Hannah’s eyes opened. She blinked her bright blue eyes a few times before letting out a wail that would wake the comatose.
Keri jerked back and stared at her niece. Simon was worried he’d been wrong about her being able to care for Hannah, but then something seemed to register in her mind. She dug in the diaper bag until she found a pacifier, a very girly pink one with a flower design on the end.
