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“Yeah, got the pins and needles thing going.”
Why was she engaging him in conversation? She wanted him out of the room, out of Dallas, back out of her life.
And yet, she wasn’t so blind and callous not to recognize what he’d done for her. She’d gotten some much-needed sleep all because he was willing to help and be uncomfortable, not something he had to do. It didn’t make everything okay between them, but she was one to give credit where credit was due.
“Thank you,” she managed, something she couldn’t have imagined saying to Simon again only two days ago.
“No problem. She’s a sweet kid.” He looked as if he wanted to say something else, but instead he shifted and headed toward the door. “See you in the morning.”
She nodded and followed him. This time, she didn’t shut the door behind him quite so quickly. If pressed, she’d say it was because she didn’t want to risk waking Hannah. Under no circumstances would she admit that his actions in the past twenty-four hours had softened her view of him.
One day of helpfulness didn’t make up for not telling the truth when it mattered most.
* * *
SIMON HAD TO ADMIT IT was way better waking up in a bed than a crappy chair, even if the bed wasn’t his own. The kinks he’d felt after holding Hannah for hours were gone, but he’d have no problem sleeping for another couple of days.
He lay staring at the ceiling and listening. No crying. He wondered if Keri and Hannah were still sleeping or had headed down to the lobby before the complimentary breakfast was over. At that thought, his stomach growled. He’d managed to eat a few bites of his barbecue dinner while he waited for Hannah to get tired but had left the rest behind in Keri’s room when he’d retired to his own. Maybe he could nuke the rest of the sandwich.
Unwilling to get up quite yet, he reached for his cell phone on the nightstand and dialed his office.
“Sheriff’s Department,” Connor Murphy, one of his deputies, said on the other end of the line.
“It’s me. How’s it going down there?”
“Fine. Snow’s pretty much all gone now. How’s Keri?”
“Been better.” Though she was holding up better than a lot of people would. But then she’d always been a tough cookie. He remembered how Clark Furst had teased her when she’d started developing breasts and how he’d gotten her fist to his jaw as a result. Sammi had been an athlete, too, but she’d had more feminine tendencies than Keri.
He closed his eyes and rubbed his calloused hand over his face. Still didn’t seem real that Sammi was dead.
“You headed back today?” Connor asked.
“Not sure yet.” Depended on when the funeral was. If it was quick, there was no point in driving back to Blue Falls only to have to turn around. “I’ll call in later once I know more. Listen, I need you to run some checks for me. Try to locate Keri’s brother. If I know Carter, there will be a ticket or arrest somewhere that’ll point us in the right direction.”
“Will do. I’ll let you know when I find something.”
Once Simon hung up, he dragged himself to the edge of the bed and stretched his back and shoulders. That’s when he noticed the sheet of paper tucked under the door. Thinking it was the hotel bill, he retrieved it. But it wasn’t a computer printout. He opened the piece of hotel stationery.
Sunshine came to pick us up early this morning. Thanks for your help.
Keri.
He knew she was going through a horrible time, but something about the note made him angry. He stared at her writing and it hit him. She couldn’t get away from him fast enough. Even after all these years, she still couldn’t forgive him.
Well, that was partly his fault, wasn’t it? She thought he hadn’t told the truth in the aftermath of Carter’s first arrest, and he hadn’t. Only her idea of the truth and what had really happened weren’t the same thing. Not that it mattered anymore.
He crumpled the paper into a tight ball and tossed it across the room into the trash can.
He’d done his duty. If he were smart, he’d just head home.
But then he wasn’t the Teague brother most accused of being smart, was he?
* * *
SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE BROUGHT Hannah. As Keri sat in the front pew two days later, staring at the open caskets of her sister and brother-in-law, she kept hoping Hannah wouldn’t notice her parents. She didn’t want her to have nightmares, not like the ones Keri feared she’d have after this dreadfully long day was over.
Hannah still clung to the bunny Simon had given her, despite the fact Keri had bought her half a dozen other new toys. Keri tried not to be irritated, especially since the bunny was keeping her niece occupied as she sat on Keri’s lap.
The sounds of the sermon and accompanying songs barely registered. She couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than the sound of Ben’s mother crying in the next pew over. Keri fought against her own tears, afraid they’d make Hannah cry, too. And right now, she couldn’t handle another hours-long wailing session like the one they’d gone through at the hotel.
Simon had been her savior then, but she didn’t want him to come to the rescue again. Didn’t want him doing things that might tempt her to let go of her bitterness toward him. She needed something in her life to stay the same.
He’d shown up here. She’d seen him as she’d carried Hannah in through the lobby. Their eyes had only met for an instant, and she hated the way she felt guilty for running out on him at the hotel. There was no reason to feel guilty. She’d left him a note, after all.
Truth was, right now he wasn’t the one she was mad at. Carter should be here with her, helping shoulder the burden of the sorrow and sudden responsibility for another human being. After Simon had asked her about him, she’d tried his number half a dozen more times as if she could magically make it be not disconnected anymore. The last time she’d had to restrain herself from throwing her cell phone against the wall.
Sunshine must have sensed her agitation because she reached over and clasped her hand. Keri squeezed back, thankful for her friend’s strength beside her. They’d been friends almost from the moment Sunshine had walked into the bakery three years before and proclaimed she could make the best cinnamon rolls in Texas. She hadn’t been wrong.
The rest of the funeral passed at the rate of a glacier’s advance. When it was time to sing the last hymn, Keri stood on shaky legs. Hannah squirmed in her arms, threatening to make Keri teeter off balance on her heels.
“Shh, honey,” she whispered in the little girl’s ear. Thankfully, Hannah complied.
Somehow she held herself together as the parade of mourners passed by and offered their condolences. Several felt the need to pat Hannah’s back or smooth her hair. She grew fidgety from all the attention, no doubt mostly from people she didn’t know. Keri was on the verge of whisking her from the room when Sunshine extended her arms.
“Let me take her.”
Keri clasped Hannah closer for a moment, afraid of letting Hannah out of her sight.
“We’ll just be out in the lobby.”
Hannah had been around Sunshine a lot the past couple of days and occasionally before that when Sammi had brought her to Blue Falls for visits. So she went to the other woman without any fuss, especially when her eyes lit on Brett, Sunshine’s sixteen-year-old son. She’d glommed onto him like she had Simon. Already a little flirt at ten months old. Brett took it all in stride and gave her loads of attention.
Keri placed a tender kiss atop Hannah’s head before Sunshine carried her toward the lobby.
She turned slowly back toward the front of the room, just in time to see Simon step away from Sammi’s coffin. No hint of his normal carefree self was visible. In fact, his eyes were suspiciously bright. He had been friends with Sammi, after all. She didn’t have it in her to be cold to him today.
His gaze met hers and he hesitated for the briefest moment before walking her way. He didn’t touch her like so many others had. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he said instead.
He sounded so detached, so official, like a cop in a police drama on TV. A surge of anger rose in her until she realized this was likely how he coped with these types of situations. In his position as sheriff, he’d no doubt had to tell lots of families about the deaths of loved ones. How did he do it? Why would he want to be in the position to have to?
“Thanks.” She lowered her gaze and noticed the suit he was wearing. Black and well cut. If this were any other day, she might have turned and admired how he looked in it from behind as he walked away. But it wasn’t any other day. Plus, she still had more people waiting to express their condolences. Across the aisle, the Spencers were in the same boat.
Turned out Simon wasn’t the only Teague in attendance. The whole clan filed by in a flurry of hugs and kind words. She held her breath, just trying to get through it all. It wasn’t until Merline Teague, Simon’s mom, stepped up to her that she felt she might finally lose the battle against her tears. Merline had this kind way about her that made everyone feel as if she was their second mom.
Though she’d dreaded all the touches all day, Keri suddenly needed a hug more than she needed her next breath. Merline opened her arms and Keri stepped into them.
“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” Merline said. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask, okay?”
Keri nodded against Merline’s shoulder, remembering how the older woman had said something very similar when Keri’s mom had died. Keri had never held what Simon did against his mother because Merline was a gem of a friend, neighbor and loyal customer.
When Keri stepped back, Merline held her hands a bit longer. “I know you are a very independent young woman, but we all need help sometimes. It’s not a sign of weakness. Just keep that in mind.”
Keri nodded because that was all she could manage without sobbing. Merline offered her a sympathetic smile that somehow gave her the strength she’d been searching for all day. After Merline took her leave, Keri only had to speak to a couple more mourners until she and the Spencers were the only people left in the room. Even the funeral home staff had stepped out to give them time to say their final goodbyes.
She sank onto the pew and examined her chewed nails and torn cuticles as the Spencers walked forward toward Ben’s coffin. Keri couldn’t approach Sammi’s yet, not when anyone else was here to watch her. She had to be alone with her sister, one last time.
Holding in the burning need to sob uncontrollably was the hardest thing she’d ever done, made harder by the sounds of Ben’s parents’ grief. Just when she thought they might never leave, she detected movement. Still, she didn’t look up, couldn’t meet their eyes. The Spencers must have sensed that because they didn’t stop next to her. Ben’s dad squeezed her on the shoulder as they passed, leaving her alone to do what had to be done.
Keri didn’t know how long she sat in the pew unable to move. Only the thought of the Spencers waiting to bury their son prompted her to stand, though the few steps it took to reach Sammi’s coffin stretched out like miles. When she looked down at her sister, she couldn’t decide if Sammi looked peaceful or as fake as a mannequin. Didn’t matter. However she looked, this was all that was left of Samantha Jane Mehler Spencer.
Keri’s chin trembled and tears finally spilled from her eyes. “Why did you have to leave?”
She wanted to be able to hug her sister one last time, to tell her how much she loved her. But she couldn’t bring herself to touch the shell that had once been Sammi. She didn’t want to know how cold and lifeless it was. She wanted to remember how warm and full of life her sister had been, how much she’d loved being a wife and mother.
With a trembling hand, Keri reached into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out a locket that held photos of their parents. She tucked it into the nook beneath Sammi’s crossed hands, careful not to touch her.
“Here’s Mom and Dad to keep you company until you can find them.” So many tears flowed now that she could barely see her sister’s face. Unwilling to appear sad and weepy in front of Hannah, she turned toward Ben for a moment and wiped away the evidence of her grief. “You take care of her, okay?” It might look crazy, talking to two people who were no longer there, but she needed to say the words, to make herself feel as if she still had some control, some power over how things should turn out. And as much as Ben had loved her sister in life, she had no doubt he’d be right by her side in the afterlife.
She took a deep, slow breath and turned back to Sammi. Gripping the edge of the coffin to keep herself upright, she took her last look at the sister she’d played with, fought with, competed against and emulated.
“I’ll take good care of Hannah, I promise.” She hesitated, knowing she had to leave but desperately hating the finality of it. With another deep breath, she released her hold on the coffin. “Goodbye, Sammi.”
She turned and headed down the center aisle. Despite all the people waiting for her in the lobby, she’d never felt more alone.
* * *
FOR A WEEK, SIMON KEPT his distance. Instead of allowing himself to walk into the Mehlerhaus Bakery on the pretense of buying a slice of coffee cake, he kept to the opposite side of Main Street. Keri had made her feelings toward him clear with that note under the door. She’d accepted his help only because she hadn’t had a choice.
Now she was back home where her friends could lend a hand and he could go back to being persona non grata.
Still, he wished he could bring her news of Carter. But other than one there-and-back border crossing to Mexico, he’d come up blank so far.
Despite the fact the falling out between Keri and Simon was partially his fault, it still bothered him. Today more so than it had a week ago. Truth was, he was tired of that wall between him and someone who’d once been his friend. As a general rule, he got along with people. Keri’s obvious dislike for him was a burr that just kept digging deeper into his skin.
He replayed how she’d looked the day of the funeral, empty and alone. And he’d unexpectedly wanted to make that loneliness go away.
He didn’t realize he’d stopped on the sidewalk and was staring at the bakery until Justine Ware stepped out of her real estate office behind him.
“How’s she doing?” she asked as she nodded toward the bakery.
“Don’t know. Haven’t seen her since the funeral.”
Justine hugged herself against the chill. “It’s just so sad. I can’t believe Sammi is gone.”
He made a sound of agreement.
“I haven’t gone over there since she came back,” Justine continued. “Don’t know what to say.”
“Not much you can say. Just something she has to get through.”
Justine’s cell rang, prompting her to pull it from her pants pocket. “Sorry, need to take this. Business is slow this time of year, so I pounce on every opportunity I get.”
He nodded as she hurried back inside saying, “Blue Falls Realty” into the phone.
He should head on to work, but he kept standing there watching as the morning crowd went in and out of the bakery’s front door. He really would like a piece of coffee cake. Keri made the best cake of any type in town, though he only ever got a piece when someone brought it into the office. As he entered the crosswalk, he told himself he’d order his cake and a cup of coffee, blend into the crowd, take a quick glance to see how she was doing. Then he’d be off to his day of dealing with law and order.
The moment he stepped into the bakery, he inhaled the heavenly scents of baking bread and wafts of cinnamon. Looked like the rest of the crowd was enjoying its yeasty contact high, as well.
Sunshine was pulling a tray of bread loaves from the oven in the back while Keri handled the in-store crowd’s orders and the phone. The bakery was always busy in the morning, but this crowd seemed extra large. He wondered if the colder weather had everyone craving hot coffee and carbs, or if the residents of Blue Falls were turning out in force to give Keri extra business as a means of condolence. As Justine said, what could you say in this type of situation? Maybe it was as simple as “I’d like a cinnamon roll and a large cup of coffee.”
It all gave him a warm feeling until he saw Jo Baker, queen of the local gossips. His jaw tensed as Jo craned her neck to see beyond the people in front of her, no doubt hungry for a look at Keri, more interested in a morsel of gossip than a pastry. He tensed when it was Jo’s turn at the counter.
“What can I get you?” Keri asked, a bit more clipped than usual.
“Oh, I don’t know.” Jo made a show of examining the offerings in the glass-fronted display case. “How are you doing? So sorry about your sister. Where’s that sweet little girl? I’d love to see how much she’s grown.”
Simon resisted the urge to throttle the woman. “Come on, Jolene,” he said, using her full name because he knew how much she hated it. “Some of us are hungry.”
Keri’s gaze lifted to his, and for the briefest moment he thought he saw gratitude there.
Jo placed her order, gave Keri her money and strode toward the door, giving him a squinty-eyed glare in the process.
As he moved up another spot in line, he heard Hannah start crying somewhere in the back. Keri looked over her shoulder, caught between the throng of customers and her unhappy niece. Before he really thought about what he was doing, he headed for the room that served as Keri’s office.
Hannah stood on shaky legs gripping the side of a playpen, her face red and streaked with tears.
“Hey there,” he said as he crossed the small space. “What’s all this fussing for?” He bent over and playfully poked her nose.
She sucked in a breath then paused, unsure whether to keep crying now that someone was paying her some attention. When she looked as if she might start crying again, he reached into the playpen and lifted her high in the air. “Now there, no more crying. You’re too pretty to be scrunching your face up like that.” He wiggled her in the air, causing her to giggle. He smiled at the sound, surprised how much he liked it.
He’d missed out on his nephew, Evan, at this age, but he was so going to spoil his new niece rotten.
Sunshine popped her head into the office. “Thank you. It’s been nuts all morning.”
“No problem. Hannah and I are already best buds, aren’t we?”
Hannah picked at the top button on his shirt, and he wondered why it seemed to fascinate her.
Sunshine disappeared when the phone rang again, and he seated himself in the cushy chair across from Keri’s desk.
“So, how’s your day going?” he asked.
Hannah paused and gave him a grin that revealed a few tiny teeth.
“Are you flirting with me?”
As if she understood, Hannah giggled again.
