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“No, I’ve had enough.”
“I believe the word they use here is basta,” he told her.
“That’s right.” She nodded. “It’s a handy word to know.”
“Just be careful,” he warned. “If you use it too often you’re likely to miss out on a lot of…adventure.”
Angelo expected Atlanta to say she wasn’t up for any more adventure in her life. He wouldn’t blame her for feeling that way, especially with a new scandal brewing over the photos that had been snapped of the two of them in Rome’s airport. Instead, she studied him in the soft light that cascaded from the patio’s scattered lanterns.
“I guess I’ll have to use my best judgment, then.”
“You do that.”
Angelo finished his Chianti and leaned back in his chair on a contented sigh that morphed into a yelp of pain when he tried to stack his hands behind his head. He lowered his arms immediately and reached for his shoulder before he could think better of it.
Atlanta’s eyes were wide with concern.
“Don’t say it.” His words held more of a plea than a warning.
“Fine. I won’t ask about surgery or rehabilitation or quality of life,” she promised. “But I am curious.”
The pain was abating. He squinted at her. “About what?”
“What do you plan to do after baseball?”
After? The word hit him with the force of a fastball to the chest. There was no after. Just as he’d convinced himself over the years that there had been no before. Baseball was both his alpha and omega.
“I’m not going anywhere.” Even before she raised her eyebrows, he knew he sounded belligerent. That didn’t stop him from adding, “The Rogues still need me. I’ll be suiting up next season, make no mistake.”
“I’m not talking about next season. Or even the season after that. You can’t play ball forever, Angelo.”
It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard from other people, including younger players speculating on what the future held for them post-career. Usually, Angelo deflected the conversation with a witty comeback. This time, seated next to Atlanta in the cool evening air, he not only accepted reality, he met it head-on.
Gazing up at the stars, he admitted, “I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“You have lots of options.”
He did. He could branch off into coaching. One of the farm teams had already approached him with an offer. He could buy one of the existing franchises when it came up for sale. Ownership certainly held appeal. Money wasn’t an object. The endorsement well showed no signs of drying up, despite his latest injury. But…
“Baseball is everything.”
“Not everything,” Atlanta replied softly.
“To me it is. It saved me. Literally. Baseball and Alex, they were what kept me from becoming a statistic.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
This wasn’t something he talked about freely, let alone with a beautiful woman who had her own set of problems. But the timing, the woman who was willing to listen, they both seemed right.
“I was bound for trouble and taking the express train to get there. I was too young and too stupid to care about consequences. And I was just plain ticked off,” he could admit now.
“At your father,” she guessed.
“Him, yeah. And my mom.” Angelo snorted. “Hell, I was angry at everyone.” The sky held a million stars. He concentrated on one of them and continued. “No one seemed to give a damn about my brother and me. Our mom came home drunk most nights. She worked in public relations as a consultant. She kept a roof over our heads and, when she remembered to go grocery shopping, food in the pantry. But, honestly, I don’t know how she managed to keep a job.”
“Not all alcoholics are falling-down drunks. Some are quite capable of leading dual lives, at least for a while.”
“That was Cindy. She wasn’t a mean person, just disinterested in motherhood and, I think, angry with Luca that their marriage hadn’t worked out. From what little she said on the subject, they’d met while she was vacationing here, she got pregnant and they got married. They barely knew one another. Not exactly the recipe for long-term success.”
“No.”
“Anyway, I think she was desperate to stay young and free of responsibility.”
“That’s pretty hard to do when you have twins,” Atlanta inserted.
“Yeah, well, it didn’t stop her. She spent more time out partying at trendy nightclubs than she did at home with Alex and me.”
Maybe, Angelo realized now, that was why he’d never cared for the fun-loving party girls who hung around outside the stadium after games hoping to hook up with the players. They were a little too reminiscent of Cindy and her irresponsible ways for his taste.
The star he was staring at winked as if urging him on.
“Some of our teachers tried to help, but they could only do so much without state intervention. Cindy was good at avoiding that. Whenever she was called in for a parent-teacher conference or visited by a social worker, she would ramp up the tears and promise to change her ways. They believed her. Hell, Alex and I believed her.”
“Those kinds of promises are impossible not to believe coming from someone you need and love,” Atlanta said in a voice that sounded both sad and knowing.
“Things would be good for a while, but then she’d start going out again.”
The stars blurred out of focus. Angelo swallowed. His mother had abandoned her sons, too. Not physically, but emotionally.
“Didn’t your father at least help out financially?”
He shook his head. “According to her, the reason Alex and I wound up in the States to begin with was that Luca was broke and couldn’t provide for us. He was selling food from a roadside stand at that point.” Angelo’s tone turned frosty. “Eventually things turned around. He managed to open a restaurant, remarry and support a second family.”
“He never contacted you and Alex?”
“Once. We were eighteen and already living in New York. He managed to track us down through some shirttail relative of our mother’s. I was so ticked off at him that I hung up the telephone a few minutes into the conversation. Busted the receiver in two.” He snorted out a laugh that held no humor.
“You had a right to be angry.”
Hearing her say it opened the floodgate. During the past twenty years, he’d shared his private pain with no one except his twin. He found it surprisingly easy to tell Atlanta, “Luca forgot all about Alex and me. When you come right down to it, he abandoned us!”
His words echoed down the hillside.
“I’m sorry, Angelo.” Atlanta reached across the table to lay one of her hands over his.
“It was a long time ago.”
“Not so long that it doesn’t still hurt.”
And it did. The pain in his heart throbbed as intensely as the one in his shoulder. His throat constricted with emotions he rarely allowed to the surface. Not trusting himself to speak, he nodded.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“SO, TELL me how baseball saved you,” Atlanta said after a long moment. “Did you play for your high school’s team?”
“No. I didn’t have the grades to make the school’s team. You had to pull at least a C average in all of your classes to suit up one week to the next. I was lucky to be passing. If not for a couple of teachers who believed in social promotion, I don’t think Alex and I would have graduated the same year.” He swallowed before saying, “I wasn’t much of a studier and I have a hard time with letters. Some of them like to scramble up on me.”
“You’re dyslexic.”
“They didn’t use that term as much back then, but, yeah. I’m dyslexic.”
“So, where does baseball enter this picture?” she asked.
“Not long after I hotwired a cherry-red Porsche.”
“How old were you?”
“Fifteen.”
“Fifteen? You can’t drive at that age.”
“Not legally, but I’d had a lot of practice.” Some of his good humor returned and he sent a wink in her direction. “I’d had a lot of practice at other things by that age, too, sweetheart.”
She shook her head on a weary laugh. “Just go on with the story, please.”
“Okay. By then Cindy was dead, and Alex and I were in the foster-care system. We’d already run away from a home in Boston and had lived on the streets for a while, dodging social workers and police. You meet people there.” He sobered as black-edged memories swirled in. “They make certain things sound…acceptable, even though you know they aren’t.”
“Things like stealing a car?”
“Yeah. They turn crime into a rite of passage for misguided kids looking for a place to belong. Alex wanted no part of it. To this day, he doesn’t know how close I came to being completely sucked under,” Angelo said quietly.
“How did you wind up in New York?”
“The people I was running with in Boston had friends in the Bronx. They said they could find work for me. Alex didn’t like it. He went with me to New York, determined to keep me out of trouble. One night, I was supposed to deliver the stolen car to a chop shop. I got the street wrong.” He shook his head. “Dyslexic, remember?”
“Then what?”
“When Alex came to see me in jail, social services swooped in. He was assigned a foster home in Brooklyn. The father was a no-nonsense former U.S. Marine. Big Mike, they called him. While I was awaiting my court date the guy pulled some strings and, after spending a few weeks in juvie, I got sent there.”
This wasn’t part of his official bio. Long ago, Angelo’s agent had talked him out of sharing any of the truly unsavory particulars. Fans rooted for underdogs, but there was no sense in making them squeamish.
“Were you found guilty?” Atlanta asked.
He nodded. “Grand theft auto, a felony. Even though I was a juvenile I was looking at some serious time. I had already racked up a couple of other minor offenses back in Boston. This made me a repeat offender as far as the DA in New York was concerned. So he charged me as an adult. I was facing time in juvenile detention until my eighteenth birthday, after which time I would be moved to the state penitentiary to finish out the rest of my sentence. But Big Mike, he was the foster dad, he went out on a limb for me at my sentencing hearing. He told the judge not to write me off. He said I was smart and had potential to turn my life around, but tossing me in the pen with the adult population would all but ensure I became a career criminal. Mike felt what I really needed was a good attitude adjustment and to have my energy refocused.”
“And the judge listened?” Atlanta asked, sounding as surprised as Angelo had been twenty-some years earlier.
“Mike’s word carried a lot of weight with the court.” He snorted out a laugh. “For good reason, as it turned out. The guy knew how to adjust attitudes and refocus energy. The first night I was in his home he sat me down at the kitchen table and point-blank told me that if I blew the second chance he’d just gotten me, he’d personally see to it that I wound up behind bars. That’s not all he told me, but I’ll spare your delicate sensibilities and won’t repeat the rest of his lecture.”
“You were scared straight.”
“Damned right. The guy was huge and intimidating as hell. He meant business. He also cared. What really kept me on the straight and narrow, though, was baseball. Mike coached a team in a recreational league. I’d always liked baseball. I’d always been good at it despite no formal training. But when I started playing on Mike’s team…” He shook his head, words failing him.
Atlanta’s expression softened with understanding. “So, baseball saved your life.”
He nodded. “That’s why it’s all I can imagine doing, even though I know I can’t do it forever. Given your circumstances, you probably feel the same about acting.”
A shadow passed over her face. “I love it. And you’re right. Acting saved me in a way, too.” It was gone by the time she went on. “But if I never starred in another movie like the ones I’ve been making for the past decade, I’d be okay with that.”
“Liar,” he taunted, sure she couldn’t mean it.
But her tone was emphatic. “I’m being honest, Angelo. I’m tired of the roles I’ve been playing. I’ve wanted to move in a different direction for a while now. During the past few years I’ve been approached by indie film makers with screenplays that have had me salivating despite the low pay and nearly nonexistent production budgets.”
“What’s stopped you from doing them?”
“Zeke.” She shook her head then. “No. That’s too neat of an explanation and not entirely accurate. The messier truth is I’ve been afraid. The moviegoing public loves Atlanta Jackson, the vulnerable vixen. But would they love me in a less-than-sexy role?”
Surprised, he asked, “Is that the kind of part you want to play?”
“If it had some real meat. I’ve also given some thought to directing. I’ve learned a lot from my time in front of the camera.” She lifted her hands. “The bottom line is I want to be taken seriously, Angelo.”
“I take you seriously.”
His reply had her flustered again. She rallied quickly. “Thank you. Unfortunately, in my business, women, especially attractive women, only seem to earn accolades when their looks are diminished.”
“You want more recognition in the industry?”
“Of course I do. But ultimately I want what that represents.”
“Respect.”
“Exactly. That’s what I want from my peers in the industry.”
“You don’t think you have it now?” he asked in disbelief. “I’m betting most actors would give their eye-teeth to be you or to have the chance to work with you. You’re one of the hottest properties on the planet, Atlanta. Plunk you in the lead role and, no matter what the movie is about, it’s destined to become a blockbuster and rake in millions if not billions of dollars worldwide.”
“That’s not a commentary on my talent. It only means that fans like the way I look and they’ve gobbled up all of the poor-little-rich-girl stories Zeke planted in the media over the years. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had. At one point the money was enough to keep me happy and make me feel safe.”
“Safe? That’s an odd word choice.”
“Um, you know, secure. Financially speaking.” Despite the hasty clarification, he didn’t think that was really what Atlanta meant. Since he’d just bared his soul, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that she was still holding back. She was saying, “I’ve got more money than I can spend in this lifetime, assuming Zeke’s palimony suit doesn’t leave me in the poorhouse.”
“The guy is suing you for palimony?” he asked incredulously.
She rattled off a monthly sum that left Angelo staggered. “He claims he neglected other business opportunities in order to put my career first.”
“He’s also claiming you did the horizontal mambo with his son and half the men in Hollywood. We both know the guy is delusional.”
“Thank you.”
