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She shook her head. “Oh, no, we are not sheltering you. I don’t know why you left Mexico, but you need to get on back there. And with no help from us.”
“I’m not coming from Mexico.” Words started and stopped in Arch’s head. He hadn’t planned this out well. He should have had some kind of speech prepared.
“I don’t care where you’ve been. You shouldn’t be here.” Her words cracked like gunfire across the yards between them.
Finally Wade stirred. “Let’s listen to him, Nora. It can’t hurt to listen.”
It was disconcerting, hearing Wade’s voice so deep and sure. Arch cleared his throat. Fortunately, ten years in prison had schooled him in keeping feelings at bay. This was his chance, and he needed to get it right. “I never went to Mexico. I got as far as San Diego with Dad and Blake. I left them there.”
His sister and brother stared at him in stunned silence. Tinker Bell seemed to come out of whatever trance she’d been in and stepped back a few feet. “I should go. I’m intruding.”
He didn’t want her to go. She was like a beam of light he could focus on in this dark moment. “Stay? Please?”
Three sets of eyes widened at his odd request.
“Only if you want to...” Arch added. “If you’re willing to.”
She studied him, and then nodded slightly. Her gaze jumped to Nora.
“It’s okay, Mandy,” Nora said. “We’re family—though you may be regretting that fact right now.”
“No regrets.” Her simple answer was a tiny oasis in this complicated moment.
Mandy. Arch held on to the name, tucked it away into his mind to think about later. “Thanks,” he told her. And used all that gold—of her hair, of her radiant skin—as the courage he needed to keep talking. “When I left here with Dad and Blake, I was already sick of them. It was terrible, the things we did. I knew by then that my whole life had become one big mistake. Down in San Diego, they robbed a guy at gunpoint. A decent guy—just your average working man. He had a wife and his little kid with him.”
Arch cleared his throat, balled his shaking hands into fists. Saw the encouraging look on Mandy’s face and inhaled it like the oxygen that seemed to have disappeared from the air around him. “I saw myself clearly, in the fear in their eyes. That man, brought down in front of his family. The terror on his wife’s face. She pulled her little boy into her stomach and just held him so close...” He had to stop again. Being in their presence, seeing the disgust in his brother’s and sister’s eyes, and the horror and sorrow on Mandy’s face, cracked all the walls he’d built to hold back the guilt.
He pushed himself on. “In that moment, everything changed. I couldn’t stand what I saw. What I’d become. I left Dad and Blake that night. Never said goodbye. Just went to a bar, had one last beer, then walked to the ocean to touch the water. To breathe in that fresh air one last time. Then I found a police station and turned myself in.”
The icy edge had thawed from Nora’s gaze. Her jaw, so set, relaxed a fraction. “We didn’t know. Why didn’t you write?”
His laugh was a bitter syllable. “And say what? You hated me. For good reason. I’d spent every day making your life miserable. You were better off rid of me.”
He saw the memories cloud Nora’s eyes. He wished he could do something, work hard enough, beg hard enough, to erase them for her. Their dad’s hand crashing down across her face. Him, the numb bastard he’d been, doing nothing. Daddy’s little henchman. Shame shoved the bile to the back of his throat.
“And now?” Wade stepped in front of Nora, sheltering her with his body, as if he could keep those memories from overwhelming her. “What’s happening with you now?”
Arch heard the real question. Did you escape? “I’m out. Legally. I did my time, almost ten years of it, and got released a couple months ago. I tried to get work down in Southern California, but no one wants to hire someone who answers ‘yes’ to the felony question on their job application.”
“So you’re here for money?” Wade slid a hand into his suit jacket. “I’ve got cash. You can take it and go.”
Arch closed his eyes against the shame. It filled his veins, pushing on his skin, making it feel too tight. “It’s not money. My parole officer helped me get assistance from the government. I receive a check each month.”
He watched them all look down and away. He got it. It was hard to look himself in the mirror when he thought about it.
“Look, being out in the world, after so long in prison, it’s overwhelming. Ten years when you’re not allowed to make choices and suddenly everything is a choice. What to eat, what to wear, what to do. Everything moves fast out in the world, and it’s all random. No schedule. Not like in jail.”
He paused, looking at Mandy and Wade, willing them to understand. If they did, maybe they’d sway Nora. “I’m desperate. That’s why I came home. I want to lie low on the Marker Ranch for a week or two. Get my bearings. Try to figure out what to do next. I had no idea you two had moved back to Benson. I thought the ranch was still abandoned. But I asked someone when I got to town today, and they told me Wade was running it now. And they sent me here to Lone Mountain, to find you.”
“Marker Ranch is Wade’s livelihood.” A shrill note careened across Nora’s voice. “I don’t think you staying here is a good idea.”
“Nora.” Wade put a hand on her arm. “He’s our brother. And he’s served his time. Paid his dues.”
“To the law, maybe. Not to us!”
Her fury was justified, but her words still bruised. “I swear to you that I’m clean. No drugs, no deals. All I want is to live a regular life. I don’t know how to do that, but I want, more than anything, to learn. And if there’s a way to apologize enough, to make amends to you and Wade, I want to do that, too.”
Doubt was thick in the air all around them. Arch waited. He’d learned to pray a little in prison, so he prayed now. He needed to be in the mountains, to breathe this clean air, to get grounded. “I have a parole officer. I check in by phone each week. He’ll have the local sheriff check on me, too.”
Nora and Wade exchanged a long, what-the-hell-should-we-do kind of look. Arch studied the mountains beyond them, the granite peaks rising to meet the afternoon sky and the fall-burnished aspen gilding the lower slopes. Trying to give them a moment of privacy. Trying to find the peace he’d felt earlier when he’d listened to the pines and caught Shrimp.
They must have reached some kind of understanding, because Wade cleared his throat and turned to face him squarely. “The house on Marker Ranch is empty. Nora lives with her husband, Todd, on his property now. And I live here with my fiancée...” He paused and a smile lifted all the tension off his face. “I mean, my wife, Lori. Mandy’s sister. So there’s plenty of room for you to stay there.”
“But if there are any problems, you’ll have to go,” Nora added.
Relief, so sweet it choked him up again, shook his voice. “I understand. There won’t be any problems.”
“The thing is,” Wade continued, “I’m leaving on my honeymoon. Tonight. And Nora’s leaving tomorrow to do some work up near the Oregon border for a few weeks. So you’ll be on your own.”
Nora turned to Wade. “Todd will be around. He was going to take care of Marker Ranch anyway. He can keep an eye on Arch.”
It was humiliating to be spoken about in the third person. As someone who needed to be watched. But how could he blame them? They didn’t know him beyond their memories, and those memories sucked.
Mandy broke the awkward pause. “I’ll be here, next door, if he needs anything.”
She was so sweet. Somehow, when he’d caught that cake, he’d caught an ally along with it.
Wade shook his head. “We can’t ask that of you.” Distrust weighted every staccato syllable. It made sense. For all his little brother knew, he was a rapist, too.
“It’s not asking anything. We’re neighbors. I’m happy to help out.” The sharp note in Mandy’s voice surprised him. She might be sweet, but she was tough.
Nora looked surprised, too. She studied Mandy for a moment. “Are you sure?”
Mandy nodded. “He saved the wedding cake, you know. I almost dropped it. And I think he caught a stray donkey for me, as well.”
Nora’s stern expression softened at Mandy’s words. “You and your strays. Looks like you found another one today.”
Arch saw Mandy flush a little. “I’m just grateful she did,” he threw in, to cover her discomfort. “And I did find the donkey. It’s safe with the goat.”
“Thanks,” Mandy said, and the warmth in her eyes was a tonic.
It seemed to soothe Wade, too, because that worry was gone from his eyes. “I still have a few horses and my cattle grazing on the ranch. I’ll expect you to look after them. That way Todd won’t have to. And there are a lot of repairs to do. We’ll leave you a list.”
“I can fix stuff,” Arch told him. “I took machine shop, woodworking, metalwork—pretty much every class they offered while I was locked up. Otherwise I would have gone crazy. I even worked with livestock the last few years. The prison had a program. But not a full-scale cattle operation.”
Wade gave a wan smile. “Well, we’re not that yet. We’ve got a small herd and big plans.”
“Then I know I can do it.” He turned to Nora. “I’ll listen to your husband. I’ll get his advice if I have any questions. And I can ask...” He paused, strangely aware that it was the first time he was going to say her name. “Mandy. It will help to know I can turn to both of them with any concerns.”
He glanced at Mandy, noting the faint flush on her cheeks. There was some kind of connection between them. Or maybe not. After ten years locked away from women, he had no idea. But damn, she was beautiful. And her name had been honey on his tongue.
Nora’s brows drew in, schoolteacher serious. “We’re giving you the chance. It’s up to you to take it and run with it.”
“Thanks, truly.” Arch wished he could give her more reassurance. But nothing he could say would help. All he could do was not screw this up.
He turned to Wade, swallowing to clear the catch in his throat that just wouldn’t go away. “I’m sorry to interrupt your wedding. I had no idea you were getting married when I came here today. Congratulations.” He stepped back, giving them all space. “I don’t want you to miss any more of your party. I’ll just head on over to the ranch.”
Wade nodded. “The house isn’t great, but it’s livable. Nora and I fixed it up a little when we stayed there.”
Arch couldn’t help but smile at that. “Trust me, after prison it will be a palace.”
“I’ll come see you later tonight to make sure you’re settled,” Nora said.
“We leave a key on the beam above the kitchen door,” Wade added. “Just go on in and make yourself at home.”
Home. Marker Ranch had never been a safe haven. Funny that it felt like one now. “Thanks,” Arch muttered through the tightness in his throat. Maybe it was too much, but he had to say it. “I know sorry doesn’t fix anything, but I wish I’d been different. Been a better brother. Been an honest man. Prison gave me a lot of time to regret the way I was.”
Wade smiled faintly and reached out, bumping Arch’s shoulder with his knuckles. “Just don’t screw this up too badly.”
“I won’t.” Arch glanced at Mandy. “Thanks for helping me out today.”
“You’re welcome.” Her voice was everything gentle and warm. “Thanks for rescuing the cake.”
Arch nodded and stepped back, wanting to free them up to finish out the wedding. He watched as the three of them turned back to the reception. Nora took Wade’s hand in hers and put an arm around Mandy. They were a unit. Family. Friends.
Loneliness wrapped its cold hands around his insides.
But friendship and family had to be earned. Especially after you’d thrown it all away.
Arch turned to go, grateful that he had a place he could go. His feet ached from all the walking he’d done today, and it was still a couple of miles between Marker Ranch and this one, but he welcomed the pain. Each step on the dirt road was a reminder. He was free. He could walk fast, or slow, or he could run if he wanted, for the first time in a decade.
His heart lightened at the thought. He was free. His fifty-third day of freedom, and even when it had brought him this low—broke, unwanted and crawling home for help—he still cherished it beyond anything. He veered left at the driveway that would take him off Mandy’s ranch.
“Arch!”
He turned, surprised, and saw Mandy hurrying after him. In her hand was a paper plate piled high with an enormous slice of cake. He started back toward her, admiring how elegant she looked in that wine-colored dress.
“You saved it. You earned a slice.” She was a little out of breath, like she’d jogged, cake and all, to catch him.
Arch tried to remember the last time someone had reached out to show him a kindness like this—he couldn’t. The plate was heavy in his hand, she’d put so much cake on it. “You’re a good person.” He blurted it out like an awkward kid. He had no experience with generosity.
“I just made a whole lot of cake.” Her smile was fleeting but kind.
“Well, this will make the walk home a whole lot better.”
There was silence while they looked at each other. Total strangers who’d done each other a good deed today, and maybe found a small seed of friendship. He needed to let her get back to her sister’s wedding. “Nice to meet you, Mandy. Thanks for sticking up for me back there.”
“Of course.” She took a step back and waved. “Welcome home, Arch.”
It was more of a welcome than he’d ever, in his most wishful dreams, hoped to get. He watched her walk lightly back up the drive, her full skirt swaying right down to the tops of her pretty brown cowboy boots. She was much more than a fairy like Tinker Bell. She was a guardian angel. A vision from heaven.
He looked down at the plate she’d brought him. White cake, chocolate cake, a few different kinds of icing. The first mouthful was a revelation of sugar and cream. He closed his eyes and tried to absorb the flavors. To savor such a fine taste. She might have heaped his plate, but her kindness today was sweeter than any cake. And he would never, ever get enough of sweetness like that.
CHAPTER THREE (#u570cb75d-f2fe-516b-9985-916187f74fc3)
THE SKY WAS glowing sunset pink when Mandy stepped out of the barn to shake the crumbs off the last tablecloth. The wedding was over. Lori and Wade had been sent on their honeymoon in style, with just married scrawled across the rear window of Wade’s pickup and cans clanking along behind the bumper. Every last guest had been thanked and waved off. The food had been hauled back to the house and the dishes, too.
Mandy tossed the cloth onto the heap in the back of her truck and went inside to find her father. He was folding the rental tables and leaning them in neat stacks along the barn wall.
“I can ask one of the hands to finish those tomorrow, Daddy.”
Her dad tipped another table on its side. “I may not be ranching anymore, but I’m still able. Tracy’s got me going to the gym.”
His new wife bustled up, a round figure in bright clothing and dyed-red hair. When Mandy found out her dad was in love, she’d pictured someone more like her willowy, dreamy mom. Tracy couldn’t be more opposite. She reminded Mandy of a plump parrot. Even her voice was chirpy. “Let’s finish up, honey. We should get on the road to Reno.”
Mandy snuffed a flicker of resentment. They’d only flown in yesterday. She’d hoped for more time with her father. But Tracy was clearly in charge of their relationship.
“I guess you’re right.” Her dad’s voice echoed a little of Mandy’s gloom as he set the table on the stack. “I think I’m just having trouble accepting that one of my babies is married.”
“It’s wonderful,” Tracy cooed. “They’re happy. Just like we are.”
Mandy reached for a box of flower arrangements, walking them out to the truck to hide the emotion rolling over her. What was wrong with her? Her mom had died over a decade ago. Her dad had raised Mandy and Lori on his own and battled depression, as well. He deserved to be happy. She should be happy for him.
Her father and Tracy followed her out to the truck. “Today has made me want a party of our own, honey.” Tracy clung to her husband’s elbow. “Maybe we could have a reception? Since ours was only a courthouse wedding?” Her bright eyes flitted to Mandy. “You’d come celebrate with us, right?”
Florida. Mandy had never been. Flamingos, alligators and palm trees. That was how she imagined it. It all sounded good—except the alligators. “Of course.”
Her dad’s hand reached out to cover Mandy’s in familiar comfort. “And what about you? Anyone special in your life?”
Mandy had been ducking this question all day from well-meaning friends and relatives. “You know me, Daddy. I prefer quiet life here on the ranch. And no one’s come knocking on my door.”
His frown weighed on her. “You’re young. You should get out more.”
“I go out sometimes. But I’m busy. I have my chickens, my strays, the ranch and my baking business. There just aren’t enough hours in the day.”
Her dad squeezed her hand and let go. “Well, if you’re happy, then I am. But it’s not just about finding someone special. You should be following your dreams. Especially now that Lori is married. She and Wade will combine the ranches and run them just fine as one. But that’s not your dream, honey. It never was. You should find out what you really want to do.”
Her cheeks went hot. Did he really see her as that lost? “I am doing what I want to do.”
“That’s great.” He regarded her thoughtfully for a moment. “You know, if you want to open up a bakery in town, Benson sure could use one. Maybe I could help out with the initial costs. Or help you get a loan.”
Money, planning, decision making. It all loomed in a thick and impenetrable wall. Just like it did every time Mandy thought about opening a real bakery. Anxiety threaded through her, pulling tension, making knots. “Thank you.” She gave him a big hug, relishing his warm strength. “I’ll think about it.”
The weatherworn lines of her father’s face creased into a smile as he looked down at her. “You just say the word and I’ll do whatever I can.”
All the ways she’d missed him since he started his new life in Florida ached in her heart. She inhaled his familiar scent—pure comfort—and stepped back, looking around the barn before she started bawling like the little girl she felt like. “It’s hard to believe it, but I think we really are done here.”
“You did an incredible job.” Tracy fluttered her fingers toward the barn. “Everything looked gorgeous, and that cake was just out of this world. If you open a bakery, you’ll have people lined up for miles.”
