Secrets Behind Locked Doors

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Louisa had screamed, thinking someone was torturing her mother, not understanding she was in the grip of a fever making her delirious.

‘I was bundled out, but I screamed and screamed until they let me back in the room. By that time my mother had settled and was sleeping fitfully.’

‘That was the last time you saw them?’ Robert asked softly.

Louisa nodded. ‘I kissed them both on the cheek and told them I would see them at breakfast. They were dead by the next morning.’

‘It must have been the end of your world.’

Louisa nodded. Robert seemed to understand her distress. She didn’t know what it was about him that made him so easy to talk to. She hadn’t told anyone about the last time she’d seen her parents before. Partly because no one had been interested, but also because she didn’t want anyone to see her so vulnerable. Even though she’d only known Robert for a short while Louisa had known he wouldn’t belittle her memory of her parents or the last time she’d seen them. He’d understand why it had been quite so harrowing.

‘When you lose someone you’re close to it leaves a gulf,’ he said slowly, ‘that never heals. In time we learn to bury that gulf, but it’s always there, under the surface.’

He said it with such compassion Louisa knew he was talking from personal experience.

She hoped he might elaborate. She desperately wanted to know more about this man who had saved her from a lifetime of misery, but at the moment she didn’t feel as though she could just come out and ask him. She knew he had been in the army, and that he’d lost a friend in the war, that much he’d let slip earlier on in the carriage, but other than that Louisa was pretty much in the dark as to Robert’s past.

‘So how did Thomas Craven become your guardian?’ he asked.

Louisa grimaced as she thought back to the first time her old guardian had shown up in her life.

‘I didn’t have any other relatives,’ Louisa said, trying not to think about how different her life would have been if she’d had a kindly aunt or grandparent left alive. ‘Mr Craven was my father’s business partner.’

Robert nodded, encouraging her to go on.

‘I hardly knew him. He came into our lives about six months before my parents died and convinced my father to invest in some scheme or another.’

‘But why did your parents make this man they hardly knew your guardian?’

Louisa shrugged. In truth she didn’t really know. She’d been so young at the time.

‘In the few months before my parents died he was around the house a lot. He stayed with us on numerous occasions. And he always made a show of fussing over me.’

‘Your parents trusted him?’

She nodded. ‘From what Mr Craven let slip over the years when he was inebriated, he’d worked hard to gain their trust. He thought they would leave him money in their will. He never even considered they would put me into his care.’

‘But your parents were so young, much younger than Craven. He shouldn’t even have thought about inheriting from them.’

Tears sprung to Louisa’s eyes. It was something she’d not been able to ignore over the years, but a question she knew she would never know the answer to.

‘Sometimes, when I’ve been particularly low, I’ve wondered how much of a role Mr Craven played in my parents’ deaths,’ she said slowly, wondering if Robert would think her crazy.

He didn’t laugh or roll his eyes. Instead he seemed to consider the idea carefully.

‘It does seem suspicious,’ he agreed. ‘It sounds as though Thomas Craven ingratiated himself with your parents, but with his death we’ll probably never know whether that was purely to get money out of them whilst they were alive or whether he had a more sinister motive.’

Louisa found herself nodding in agreement. It felt reassuring to have Robert beside her, supporting her and agreeing with her. For years she’d wondered what exactly had transpired between her parents and Mr Craven. She’d known she had no other relatives, but Mr Craven must have been a good actor to convince her parents he was a suitable guardian for their only child.

‘I just wish I had had an hour with him,’ Louisa said quietly, ‘to confront him and to force him to answer my questions.’

Robert squeezed her arm gently and Louisa felt his strength flowing into her. She had to accept she would never have answers. She would never know why her parents chose Mr Craven as her guardian and she would never know whether he had been involved in their deaths. In the past the uncertainty had upset her immeasurably, but today, with Robert beside her, Louisa felt herself letting go a little. Now was the time to look forward, not back. She might never have the answers to her questions, but she had her freedom and she had her entire life stretching out in front of her.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Louisa glanced sideways at Robert every few seconds. She wanted to know more about him. Just as she was plucking up the courage to ask Robert a little about himself, he paused and pointed to a gateway.

‘Hyde Park, Miss Turnhill. The first of many London parks I promise to take you to.’

The park was quiet at this time, only a few young children with their nannies running around on the grass and one or two groups of young ladies strolling under parasols.

‘We shouldn’t meet anyone at this time,’ Robert said as he guided her into the park.

Louisa realised that was why he’d checked his pocket watch earlier; he hadn’t wanted them to bump into anyone. She wondered if he were ashamed of her, but quickly dismissed the thought. It would have been easy to send her off to some far-flung corner of England, far away from the prying eyes and wagging tongues of society, but instead he’d kept her here in London. No, Robert Fleetwood wasn’t ashamed of her, she thought it more likely he wanted to protect her from having to answer any awkward questions.

It felt strange to Louisa to have someone looking out for her. For years she’d only been able to depend upon herself. She didn’t think she would ever get used to someone else worrying about her welfare.

‘You have a very tough decision to make now, Miss Turnhill.’ Robert turned to her with a grave expression on his face.

Louisa’s heart dropped. She’d been enjoying not thinking about her circumstances for a few minutes.

‘You need to choose whether you’d like to go and take a stroll around the Serpentine or sample the delicious new delicacy all society are talking about: flavoured ices.’

Louisa pretended to consider her decision very carefully. ‘Are you sure I have to decide?’ she asked.

‘This is your outing, Miss Turnhill, your wish is my command.’

‘Then I wish to do both.’

Robert smiled one of his rare smiles and Louisa caught a glimpse of the carefree young man he must have once been. Again she wondered what had happened during the war to make him quite so serious and withdrawn, but she knew now wasn’t the right time to ask. They were having an enjoyable morning in the park and she didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise that.

They strolled arm in arm around the Serpentine. Every few minutes Robert would impart some bit of knowledge about the park or London, and Louisa would listen with interest. She loved the way he spoke, he seemed so knowledgeable about so many things. Louisa’s own education had been cut short—Mr Craven hadn’t thought it necessary to continue her lessons after her parents had died. Although she’d read hundreds of the dusty books in the old man’s library, it wasn’t the same as a formal education.

She realised she must seem completely uneducated to Robert.

He’d stopped at the water’s edge and together they stared out across the still water.

‘It’s beautiful,’ Louisa said, glancing at Robert. ‘I feel so lucky, being here with you.’

She turned to face him and felt the emotion welling up inside her.

‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘Thank you for giving me a chance to experience the world for myself. Even if I was taken back to the asylum today I’d never forget the time we’ve spent together.’

Robert slowly turned to look at her and Louisa felt her breath catch in her throat at the intensity of his gaze.

‘This is your right, Louisa. Every experience and every new sight is something you deserve to have.’

Louisa felt her tongue dart out to moisten her lips. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from his. His words were said so passionately she understood how he had led troops into battle; she would follow him anywhere in this instant.

For seconds their eyes remained locked together. Louisa felt her body sway instinctively towards his and the gap between them closed.

She could see the desire in his eyes. He wanted to kiss her, just as much as she wanted to kiss him, but he didn’t move.

Louisa felt the confusion wash over her. She wanted him so much, she wanted him to devour her with his mouth, to lay her down on the grass and cover her body with his own. Never before had she known such a strong physical attraction to someone. Yet at odds with the primal urge she had whenever she looked at him was the small voice in the back of her head telling her to run, to get as far away from the generous man with the serious eyes as possible. Falling for him could only bring trouble. He would hurt her just like everyone else, no matter how kind and caring he seemed now.

Despite a myriad of doubts Louisa still wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to feel his lips on her skin and shudder as he ran his fingers all over her body.

For a second she thought he was going to do just that. His eyes darkened and his breathing became a little heavier. Louisa held her breath.

‘Lord Fleetwood.’

Both Louisa and Robert jumped and took a step back.

‘I’m not interrupting anything, am I?’

Chapter Eight (#ulink_d7c836c2-d458-5dea-9fce-d85a64ba9040)

Robert couldn’t answer immediately; his brain had gone on an unscheduled holiday and left a mindless idiot in charge. He’d almost kissed Louisa. Again. Once was bad enough, but twice was unforgivable. And in a public park for anyone to see.

He forced himself to drag his eyes away from Louisa’s delectable mouth and turned to face the woman who was addressing him.

‘Mrs Knapwell,’ Robert said, his heart growing heavy as he realised who had interrupted them.

‘It’s delightful to see you, Lord Fleetwood, it’s been so long.’

Robert nodded, not able to find his voice.

‘And you’re looking so well.’

He grimaced. He didn’t feel well at all.

‘I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of being introduced,’ Mrs Knapwell said, turning to Louisa.

‘This is Miss Louisa Turnhill, my ward,’ Robert said stiffly.

‘Your ward?’ It was said with such incredulity that Robert had to suppress a smile. ‘I didn’t realise you had a ward.’