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“For some people that’s a real hope.” She lifted a finger. “Let me check on the time. I still need to add something to the slow cooker.” She rose and hurried away.
He watched her disappear beyond the door, as if she anticipated another question from him and was dodging it. He wished he could control his mouth and his heart. Nina looked uneasy, and he wished he knew what he could do to make their friendship as relaxed as it had been before.
He rose, perplexed, and wandered to the window, amazed that Kimmy spent so much time and patience in search of bugs. He shook his head. His patience ran amok more times than not. He should learn something from his young niece.
“I’m back.”
He turned and was struck by how lovely Nina was. She walked with an air of confidence, yet she had an amiable aura. Despite her discomfort with personal subjects, she reached out to Kimmy in a sweet manner. That’s what attracted him.
Nina joined him by the window. “I suppose we could go out and look for bugs, too.”
“Or just watch. I don’t want to ruin Kimmy’s fun.”
She chuckled. “Are you one of those men afraid of spiders?”
“I’m not talking.”
With no other comment, she stepped outside to the porch, where two canvas chairs sat on the far end. He settled into one and Nina followed. “What do you do if Kimmy’s sick or if you have to work overtime?”
He drew in a breath, hating to think of those situations. “Thank the Lord, they’ve been rare, but I had to take off work or see if I could get a neighbor to step in for me. In my previous home, I had an older woman close by who usually volunteered. She was a blessing.”
“You know I can often work at home, Doug. If you ever need someone in a pinch—”
“I couldn’t ask you to do that, but thanks for offering. I just pray that she stays healthy, and I can get off work on time. They have a latchkey program at her school so Roseanne had her in that program until she could pick her up. It was only for an hour or so.”
“If you’re sure, but just in case...” She rose and headed into the house.
His jaw sagged at her quick departure. In a moment, she reappeared and handed him a small card. He glanced at it, surprised she had a business card. “I see you’re a public relations consultant. That sounds interesting.”
“That’s why I can work from home at times. It’s a lot of computer work. As long as I get it done and it’s good, that’s all that counts.”
“Can you find me a job like that?” Feeling relief, he sensed their relationship had smoothed out again. He tucked the card into his pocket, pleased to see her cell phone number on it.
“Look, Uncle Doug.”
“I see you found a ladybug.”
“Two of them. Look.”
He slipped his arm around Kimmy and gave her a hug. “Your teacher will be very happy with all the insects you captured.”
Nina glanced at her watch. “I think it’s time to get cleaned up for dinner. The food should be ready soon.”
Doug loved Nina’s manner with Kimmy. He let the two go ahead of him before joining them inside, enveloped in a cozy feeling too often alien to him. The idea of being a family and having children wrapped around his mind and left him with a sense of wholeness. The sensation gave him pause. He’d become too enamored of Nina, and he needed to sort out his feelings. Was it her kindness to Kimmy that brought up these emotions? Or was he truly altering his attitude about relationships...and marriage?
* * *
Nina hit Save on her computer and rose. Her eyes burned from staring at the monitor. She’d worked at home all day, and in the quiet, she’d accomplished one large task for her new client, but she had more to do.
She sank into her easy chair. Though things had gone smoothly on Sunday with Doug, he hadn’t contacted her since. Four days had passed with nothing. She’d thought their friendship had solidified with her apology and Doug’s positive reaction.
When she lifted the footrest lever, she dropped back and closed her eyes, needing to sort her feelings. The word friendship struck her, but something deeper inched into her emotions. Getting involved again frightened her, and she’d set her mind to stay away from even a hint of commitment. Yet, Doug had come along and the idea of companionship cheered her. It aroused a sense of hope that Doug often talked about.
Since she’d moved to Lilac Circle, she had made friends with Angie and El and maybe that was enough. But as soon as she let the thought breathe, she knew the answer. She’d regret it if she and Doug didn’t become true friends.
Friends, even good friends, could enjoy each other’s company without calling it a date. Going to dinner together, talking on the porch, those were pleasant events without imposing two lives into one. That’s what marriage was. The willingness to give of yourself and be one. She could stand on her own without anything more than an enjoyable friendship. The idea sent tension out the window. Good friends. Best friends, maybe. Platonic. That was the word. Platonic friendship. She blew a stream of air from her lungs.
Now to believe it and act on it.
As the friendship idea drifted, Angie’s wedding came to mind. Though Angie had addressed it to her and a guest, she had mailed her RSVP indicating she would attend alone. Her shoulders heaved. Being alone at a wedding made her cringe. She would feel like an elderly maiden aunt who was parked in a chair and everyone had fun around her. What could she do to get out of it now? Illness? She could fake that, but it seemed so obvious. Her shoulder twitched again, and she veered her gaze out the window.
When she shifted her eyes, they lit on the bible. Margie’s bible. El shouldn’t have given it to her. Giving it to someone who would use it made more sense.
Yet her eyes remained on the book, and the verse she’d spotted at El’s came to mind. She flipped to the back and turned pages until she spotted the reference, and then searched through the scripture until she found the verses—Matthew 17:20.
He said: “Because you have so little faith, I tell you the truth. If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, “Move from here to there” and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.
But who was the He referred to in the verse? She moved her eyes upward and found her answer. Jesus. Jesus said with the tiniest bit of faith nothing was impossible. How could that be? She closed her eyes. A mustard seed was minute, but she couldn’t claim to have even that amount of faith.
Her cell phone’s ringtone sounded from a distance, and she slipped the Bible onto the table, dropped the footrest and hurried to the computer table in her office. She viewed a number she didn’t recognize. It persisted. She hit talk and said hello.
“Nina, this is Doug.”
Her heart lurched. “Is something wrong?” Her head spun—how did he have her number? Right, the business card.
“Nothing horrible. I’ve been asked—that’s a nice way to put it—to work overtime tomorrow. I have a meeting in the morning and a huge project to get ready. I hate to ask, but—”
“Doug.” Her heart slowed to a trot, knowing Kimmy was fine. “I volunteered. I don’t mind. I’m going to the office in the morning and I’ll be working at home the rest of the day. Kimmy will be fine with me.”
“Are you sure?” The question rang with concern.
“I won’t indulge you with a response.” She cleared her throat with as much drama as she could, hoping he recognized she was teasing him.
“Okay, I get you.” Relief sounded in his tone. “I’ll stop by tonight with the info you’ll need, and I’ll go into the school when I pick her up today and leave your name so they’ll know I sent you.”
“Good, because I don’t want to be arrested for kidnapping.”
He chuckled. “Thanks so much. By the way, I’m sorry I haven’t seen you since Sunday. Once again life happened. I had to spend time with my mother on the phone, and then Kimmy and I went there one evening. She’s having some health issues, and I’m trying to convince her to sell the house and move into an assisted living facility.”
“Any progress?”
“Mom isn’t the easiest to convince. It’s frustrating.”
She recognized the weariness in his voice. “I can imagine, and with her living a distance away, it’s even more complex.”
“Thanks for understanding.” His contrite tone had brightened. “I’ll drop by tonight.”
The conversation ended, and she headed back to the chair, grateful that her work allowed her to spend time at home. And now with Kimmy, it answered Doug’s need. A sense of purpose eased through her as she tilted back in her chair. She closed her eyes while visions of her new life spread around her. She’d see Doug tonight and spend time with Kimmy. What could be better? A platonic relationship seemed perfect.
Hearing the doorbell, Nina dropped the footrest again and bounded from the chair, startled that she’d fallen asleep. Confused, she eyed her watch as she opened the door.
“Hope I didn’t interrupt.” Angie grinned and took a step forward, anticipating being invited in.
“You didn’t.” She shifted back and beckoned Angie inside. “In fact, I’m glad you came.” Nina swung her arm toward the recliner. “I’d fallen asleep in my chair.”
“I’m so sorry I woke you.” Angie frowned. “So what’s stressing you out?”
Angie’s questioning look caused Nina to shake her head. “Nothing. Why would you ask that? My eyes were tired. I’ve been staring at a monitor all day.”
Angie chuckled. “It’s a good excuse.”
Nina ignored the comment and motioned to a chair. “Please have a seat.”
She looked behind her and settled on the edge of the sofa. “I can’t stay long, but I finally got around to checking the RSVPs and I noticed you only put down one person attending.” She tilted her head, her eyes questioning.
“That’s correct. There’s no law, right?” Nina flashed a grin, though uncomfortable with Angie’s reaction. “I’m not dating anyone, and I decided it was easier just to come alone.”
“You can, but it’s more fun when you have a friend with you. Do you like to dance?”
Angie’s question stung. “I used to. It’s been a long time.”
“It’s like riding a bike. You never forget how to do that.”
Her attempt at humor failed. “I’ll keep that in mind if the opportunity arises.”
Angie rose. “I must have sounded pushy, Nina. Forgive me. I would love to see you have fun. I really like you.”
“Thanks.” She stood and rested her hand on Angie’s shoulder. “But I think I’ll come alone.”
“Okay, but...what about Doug? He’s a great guy and a neighbor. If we’d known him better, we might have invited him, too. In fact, there’s your answer.”
Whether she came alone or with someone wouldn’t ruin the wedding reception. “Angie. I’ve already decided that I’m not asking anyone.”
Angie studied her a moment as if ready to rebut. “Okay, if you’re that determined, but I’ll put you down for two just in case.” She gave a one-shoulder shrug and turned toward the door before she wiggled her fingers in a wave. “See you later.”
Exasperation bristled along Nina’s arms as she said goodbye and watched her go. Maybe Angie was teasing, but why couldn’t she make her own decisions without people pressuring her?
After stepping back through the doorway, she sank into her comfy chair. Bring a date? Angie assumed Doug was the only guy she knew well enough to ask. That was true, but she had never asked anyone for a date, and she wasn’t starting now.
She shook her head. As for Doug, she already had concerns about her feelings. Asking him would be truly stupid.
As she tossed herself back, she hit the footrest lever. Maybe she could fall asleep again and awake convinced that Angie’s visit was a bad dream.
Who was she kidding?
She closed her eyes, and her senses returned. What was she fighting? Angie hadn’t suggested a date. She’d suggested an escort. Friends sometimes did that for friends.
Friends. The word rolled around in her mind. Minutes ago she’d thought the solution had been found. Platonic friends. Then what was the probem? She closed her eyes, releasing a sigh that rattled through her chest. She could fool others but not herself. Having Doug escort her, in reality, tempted her emotions. One day, he would face his own reality and want a family. If she fell in love with Doug, he could walk away as Todd had done when he learned she couldn’t bear a child. Her chest constricted. And he should walk away if he wanted a family. She couldn’t chance it.
* * *
After working without a break, Nina checked her watch. One. She needed to pick up Kimmy at school between three and three-thirty. Fatigued again, and not only from the monitor. She felt plain old tired. Her sleep the night before had been restless. She thanked Angie for that. Why had she made a big deal about attending the wedding alone? Yes, she would mess up the table seating. Most everyone attended as couples, so the tables usually seated eight or ten. She’d make it seven or nine. She managed a chuckle. Maybe someone’s maiden aunt needed a seat.
She made her way to the kitchen, longing for something to distract her. The refrigerator didn’t pose any invitation as she gazed inside. The few cookies still in the jar she’d kept for Kimmy. Crackers? With what? Peanut butter, but she ran out a few days before. Maybe a trip to the grocery store would do it.
Instead she opened the back door and stepped outside, her eyes grazing the landscape. She’d done nothing about the perennials, and soon it would be too late. She hurried back in, grabbed her cell phone and purse and slipped into her car, recalling a garden shop not too far away. Soon she was pulling into the parking lot. After studying two rows of flowers, she spotted the coneflowers and hoisted a plant into her basket while her mind slipped to Kimmy. Time was ticking away, and she didn’t want to scare her or disappoint Doug by being late. With time on her mind, she spotted a sales clerk and caught her attention. “I’m in a new house without much landscaping, and I’m checking perennials but I want to make sure it’s not too late to plant. Can you tell me?”
“Sure. You have coneflowers there. It’s a good choice. They’re hardy flowers, and in Zone 5 the fall months are perfect for planting.”
She thanked the salesclerk and then asked directions to find the daisies.
The woman beckoned her to follow. With her guidance, she set three pots of daisies into the basket. Finally she circled back and grabbed three more colorful coneflowers to brighten her garden and her life.
She paid the bill, her mind everywhere but on her purchases. After she arrived home and unloaded, she realized Kimmy would already be waiting for her. Angry at her carelessness, she dashed to her car and headed down Oliver Street.
When she spotted the redbrick building, darkened with age, she slowed and pulled into the pickup lane. Only a few children were outside waiting, a couple others were getting into cars, but Kimmy wasn’t among them. Panicking, she pictured Doug’s frantic face and felt nailed to the seat. She sat a moment deciding what to do. Her only choice was to go inside. She drove to the parking lot and slipped out as her nerves set in. What would she do if Kimmy had been picked up by someone else. Kidnapped? Her carelessness rent her heart.
Breathless, she darted along the inside corridor, following the sign to the office. As soon as she reached the door, she spotted Kimmy. Her legs weakened as relief spread over her.
Kimmy’s eyes widened as she ran to her. “I thought you forgot me.”
“I’d never do that, Kimmy.” The words reverberated through her chest. She gave her a hug, noticing tears on Kimmy’s cheeks. Nina’s heart wrenched. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I would never forget you.” Her throat closed as she struggled to continue. “I went to the nursery for flowers and time ran away from me.” She tilted her head. “But I’m here now.” Thank You soared above her and stopped her cold. Thank You. Had she prayed? Warmth spread through her body as her fears flew away.
She pulled herself from the sensation, noticing a questioning look from the woman behind the counter. “I’m sorry I’m late. Doug Billings gave you my name, I think. I’m here for Kimmy. He had to work overtime today.”
The woman gave her a frown and checked a list near the phone and nodded. “You are?”
“Nina Jerome. Doug and I are neighbors.”
The woman nodded. “We have to be careful, and we also ask that you be on time.”
“Yes, I know. It won’t happen again. I guarantee.” She meant every word.
The woman gave a faint nod. “Kimmy, you can leave now and have a good weekend, okay?”
Kimmy grinned. “Okay.”
“And do you have all of your belongings?”
She nodded to the woman while Nina stepped away, wanting to escape before the woman had her scrubbing boards or banging erasers.
Kimmy caught up with her in the hallway “This weekend I have to find different kinds of leaves and things that grow on trees and bushes.” She adjusted her backpack. “Can we find them in your yard?”
“We sure can.” Nina slipped her arm around Kimmy’s shoulders and guided her outside.
When Kimmy spotted the car, she bolted ahead, and Nina had a hard time keeping up. Like a father, Doug had put the booster seat into the back of her car, and Kimmy slipped in and locked the seat belt. Captured by the image of Doug with his arms embracing a child of his own, Nina’s heart grew heavy. If only... Not wanting the thought to ruin her day, she headed for the driver’s seat and turned the key.
On the way home, she thought about the cookies she’d saved for Kimmy, but other than those, she had no after-school snacks for her. Her mind drifted until Kimmy broke her train of thought.
