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When she glanced his way, he raised his hand, a natural instinct that he hadn’t monitored. Anticipating she’d ignore his greeting, his chest constricted when she crossed the street. Though curious where she’d been, he wouldn’t ask. That question could be too personal, also.
“I noticed you outside with Kimmy. How are you?”
He wanted to tell her he was confused, but he changed his answer to something safe. “Good. The weather motivated me to come outside.”
She strode up to Kimmy. “What are you looking for?”
“Bugs.” She grinned.
“Bugs. Hmm? Any special reason or are you just curious?”
“School started and I’m in the second grade.”
“Second grade. And you have to find bugs.” Nina tilted her head.
“Homework.” Kimmy’s face glowed. “It’s for our science class.”
“Did you find any ladybugs?” Nina looked at the insects in Kimmy’s jar.
“Those ones who fly away home ’cuz their house is on fire?”
The girl’s face lit with a smile, and Nina grinned. “I’m sure those are the ones.”
Kimmy shook her head. “I only found two ants, a fly and something with lots of legs.” She held up her jar with air holes punched in the lid.
“I have ladybugs at my house. They like flowers, and even though I have only a few blossoms, I see insects there.”
Doug watched, amazed at Nina’s lighthearted banter with no hint of anger. Still, she was talking with Kimmy, not him. But she’d stopped by and that was something.
“Uncle Doug, can I go to Nina’s and get some ladybugs?” She gave him a beseeching look.
He couldn’t hold back his grin. “I don’t want to hinder research. I suppose you can if Nina doesn’t mind.”
Nina tousled Kimmy’s hair. “Come down whenever you’d like. I’m home for the evening.”
He opened his mouth but sat speechless.
“Doug.” Nina closed the distance and sat beside him, running her fingers through her hair. “I owe you an apology. I’m sorry for the way I acted on Friday.”
“You don’t owe me—”
“I owe you respect and friendship. You’ve been kind, and I enjoyed your company until my fortress rose to shield me. It does that sometimes without my realizing it. You didn’t deserve to be treated that way.”
Although her fortress aroused his curiosity, relief flooded him, and he released a strangled breath. “Thank you. I don’t need to forgive you, but I will. We all let our protective devices appear sometimes. I’ve done it myself. You know I question my ability with...” He feared Kimmy would hear her name so he tilted his head. “I would love to have confidence in my parenting skills. Women seem to have those built in.”
Nina’s crooked grin preceded her head shake. “We are frightened, too, Doug. Women know they’re supposed to have inborn motherly instincts, but that’s a myth. We cover up our worries and plow ahead. We read books and ask friends who won’t think we’re silly. In a way, it’s like anything new. We do the best we can. Whatever you’ve done, Doug, has been right from all I see. Kimmy seems happy and healthy. You can’t ask for more.”
As if she’d heard her name, Kimmy came skipping toward them. “Can we go now?”
“We have company, my girl.”
“But we can take her along.” She beckoned to them.
Nina grinned. “Thank you for inviting me to join you.”
Missing the point, Kimmy gave her a big smile. “You’re welcome.”
He gulped down his chuckle and patted Nina’s hand. “Sorry. I think it takes a few years for a sense of humor to develop.”
“It’s funnier that way.” Nina rose and extended her hand. “Friends.”
“Positively.”
“Good. Now I’d better go home since I’m expecting company.” She stepped toward Kimmy, but he stopped her.
“What’s in your hand?”
She glanced down as if she’d forgotten.
“It looks like a—”
“Bible.” She took a step closer. “It was El’s wife’s. He wanted me to have it since I don’t own one.”
His back straightened. “Did you mind?”
She shook her head. “I would expect nothing less from him. He lives his faith. I’ve never learned what that is, and I suppose he thought he would help me understand.”
He didn’t know what to say so he just gave a nod.
“I’ll see you later, right?”
“For sure. Kimmy has her heart set on it.” So did he.
Nina gave a wave and returned to Kimmy’s side. She gave her a pat and whispered something in her ear before heading home.
He watched her go, both relieved and confused. He couldn’t be happier to see her with the Bible, and he prayed she would look inside and grow in faith. He should do the same with all his doubts and worries. And maybe his new concern was one of those useless worries. Though something about Nina was lovely and intriguing, something else still blocked her from living fully. That’s what he sensed, and it saddened him.
Chapter Three (#ulink_6a010b6b-49e0-5e05-9f1e-fd3707e5332b)
Kimmy skipped along the sidewalk and paused when she reached Nina’s. Doug caught up and faced the house, hoping his big mouth didn’t result in another problem as it had at the block party. Though she’d apologized, he realized his question about the possibility of someone living with her had been blunt. Rude, really. It had been none of his business. On top of that, his ulterior motive was also inappropriate. Why not just ask if she were seeing someone? Or was that also blunt? Women confused him.
“Come on, Uncle Doug.” Kimmy skipped halfway up the front walk and beckoned to him.
Before he took a step, Kimmy had already turned her attention to a few clumps of flowers in the beds along the house. He gazed at her creeping around the leaves, loving her curiosity and eagerness to do homework, hoping her attitude would last a lifetime. Having a good work ethic helped a career. He shook his head, realizing how far in the future he’d gone. Instead he should focus on his own future.
“Coming in?”
He faced Nina standing in the doorway. “Stay right here, Kimmy, and then let me know when you’ve finished.
Nina swung the door wider, and again he wished he had a larger living room. When he stepped in, she motioned toward the sofa, her only seating besides the recliner.
Still in the doorway, Nina leaned out. “The door’s open, Kimmy. Come in when you’re done.”
His senses heightened. “Something smells delicious.”
“Good.” She turned from the door. “I’m making enough for all of us, but it’ll be a while. It’s in a slow cooker. Are you starving?”
Even if he was, he wouldn’t admit it. He shook his head.
“Good.” She sank into her recliner. “I thought if I have leftovers, I’d take them to El later tonight so he will have a surprise home-cooked dinner.”
Doug couldn’t imagine having home-cooked meals delivered to his door. His own simple recipes didn’t thrill him. “You’re a good person, Nina.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Thanks. I wish—”
What did she wish? His mouth opened, then closed. He had to learn not to ask questions or make comments. She’d made it clear her life and problems were not up for discussion. “We ate lunch before we came so we’re good.” His eyes shifted from her to the Bible beside her.
Nina studied him, as if noticing his distraction. “You asked about the Bible earlier.” She rested her hand on the black leather book sitting on the table. “I’m not a religious person. Never brought up that way.” She shrugged. “El must have thought I needed to take a look. I couldn’t say no, but it’s all rather difficult for me.”
She looked away a moment, and though he sensed he should respond, he was at a loss for words.
“I will admit that El had some solid attitudes about God and faith. Things I’ll ponder, I think.”
“Faith is different for each person. I think it happens in its own way. I grew up in a home where church was a normal Sunday activity. I went to Sunday school and sometimes the adult services. I believe, but even I find it easy to skip church sometimes, especially since I moved. I need to look for a home church.” A rivulet of guilt ran through him. “I’ve passed so many here in Owosso. I think there’s one on every other corner.” Though he chuckled, his discomfort didn’t fade. “I try to go most Sundays when I have a church family.”
“Family?” She shrugged.
“It feels like a family and it’s a meaningful break in the week.”
“I imagine it is. Music and readings. Those things can draw a mind away from day-to-day troubles.” She patted the Bible and pulled her hand away as if it had burned her. “Any news from Kimmy’s mom?”
He drew his focus from the Bible to Nina, noting a look of discomfort on her face. “I talked with her yesterday.” A pang of sadness whipped through him, mixed with concern. “She’s in therapy now, but I don’t think she can stay by herself yet even if she comes home. It sounded as if she’ll go into an inpatient rehabilitation facility for physical and occupational therapy before they release her.” His throat caught as he absorbed the issues continuing to grow. “Our mother lives a number of miles away but she wouldn’t be much help, and I work every day.”
“I’m sure a facility would be the best for her, Doug. She’ll get good treatment.” She searched his face, her own growing taut before she glanced out the window. “Doug, you’ve never mentioned Kimmy’s father. Is he anywhere in the picture?”
His mood darkened. “Never. He’s never seen Kimmy. I don’t know if he ever knew about her. Roseanne never talks about him.”
“She’d never married or—?”
“That’s right. She took a chance, and Kimmy happened. She won’t talk about it so I don’t know a thing about him.”
“That’s hard.” She appeared thoughtful. “Does Kimmy ever ask about him?”
He shrugged, hoping to hide his dark feelings. “I guess she has but Roseanne concocted some story. I think she said he died.”
“One day when she’s older Kimmy will want details. How he died. When? Did he love her? All those things we all want to know about our parents.”
“I agree, but Roseanne only shakes her head and ignores me. She’ll do what’s right when Kimmy’s older, I hope.”
“I think she will. Truth from a mother with her child is important.”
Letting the subject fade seemed his best move, and he gazed out the window and a grin broke the tension. “Kimmy’s chasing something in one of the bushes.”
Nina craned her neck to look outside “She seems to be doing well. She’s adjusted. It’s better for her to stay with you.” Nina looked away a moment. “And you know, Doug, Kimmy’s a bright little girl, and I fear she might feel too much responsibility and even guilt if she went home with her mother still needing care. I don’t suppose you want to hear that.”
“I’ve thought about that, too.” He forced his eyes to stay connected with hers. “But I’m worried how to work it out. I can’t take a leave, Nina. It’s not feasible. Yet I’m the only one Roseanne can count on.”
“I wish I had the answers.” A distant look filled her eyes, but then she brightened. “I realize we’ve only met, but she’s a sweet girl and... I’d be willing to help in any way I can.”
Her concern for Kimmy touched him, and he wondered why she didn’t have children, but he knew better than to even hint at the question. “I’m sure you’re right, and thanks for your offer.”
The subject weighed on him, and he opened his mind to allow another thought to slip from his memory. “Isn’t Angie and Rick’s wedding soon? I overheard something on Friday. For a while, I thought they were already married, but obviously they’re not. He always goes home at night.”
Nina laughed. “They’re ones who follow their religion, I think.” She shook her head. “But that’s wise.”
She quieted again, and he wished they could recapture the easy, casual relationship they’d had when they first met.
Finally she broke the silence. “I was surprised when I received a wedding invitation. We’ve only known each other a short time, but we clicked, I guess. I like Angie and Rick. Carly’s a doll, too. She’ll be their flower girl.”
“I thought flower girls were toddlers who cry and run back to their moms.”
She laughed. “Sometimes, yes, but this is a wonderful way to include her in the ceremony.”
“It is. I was being silly.” He grinned, glad his remark had broken the tension.
She studied him for a moment. “Do you get upset by personal questions?”
He managed to lasso his laugh, recalling her idiosyncrasy. “Not usually, but I’d say it depends on what kind of personal question.”
She sent him a half grin and glanced out the window again. “I know you’re single, but I can’t help but wonder why.”
“I ask myself the same question. I mentioned once that life got in the way. And there’s truth to that. My dad was ill for a long time, and I did what I could to help my parents. Mom wasn’t that healthy either, and Dad needed to be lifted or helped to stand. He lost both legs to diabetes.” Those horrible days resurfaced, bringing pain with them. “Dad was a man’s man. Wouldn’t listen to my mom or the doctor’s warnings. He thought he could beat all illnesses, but he couldn’t. Strange how we do that, isn’t it? We know what’s best, but we ignore it.”
Her face darkened a moment, and he feared he’d done it again. “Nina, I’m sorry if I—”
She held up her hand. “No. It wasn’t what you said. There’s truth to that. I’ve been bitter for years over my failed marriage, and yet when you said we know what’s best but we ignore it, it struck home. The divorce was probably for the best under the circumstances.”
Questions flew to his tongue but again he refrained from uttering even a small question. Her marriage seemed to cause the last bugaboo, and he’d already spilled out too much of his life. He forgot they were virtual strangers. They’d met a short time ago, and yet it seemed as if it had been forever.
She eyed him as if wondering why he’d become silent.
He buried his question. “It’s good sometimes to look back with fresh eyes. I think with most things, time clears our heads and we can face things differently. We let the blame go and focus on the result or the possibilities.”
“Possibilities. That’s sort of like hope, isn’t it?”
“I suppose it is.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I still hold out hope that one day in the near future I’ll find the right person.” What had he said? His mouth flapped without control. He’d spent much of his life preoccupied with everyone but himself. Where had those feelings come from?
And yet he knew. He studied her, admiring her light brown eyes that crinkled when she smiled and her intriguing wavy hair.
