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“But the invitation to church still holds.” She described the store-front church near the clinic and their cool program for kids.
“I might try it some time,” Stevie said, maybe to please. “You know, you’re a really good doctor. The best I’ve ever seen.”
One of the male volunteers popped his head in. “Doctor, we’re having your surprise birthday party in the lounge now. Can I finish up with this patient, and can you go act surprised?”
She glanced at Stevie, caught his quick look of disappointment and said, “Would you mind bringing a couple of pieces of cake in here?”
“No problem.”
“Stevie, I want you to talk to our social worker for a few minutes, and then we’ll have cake together. Okay?”
“No way! I ain’t seeing no social worker.” Stevie scooted off the table, fast as a wink. She grabbed for him as he bolted for the door, but he was gone.
It was the end of the day before Beth made it to the staff lounge to sit down. She didn’t mind that she was alone or that cake crumbs were all that was left of her party. It was good to have a quiet spot to check her voice mail before heading home.
She plopped down on the secondhand sofa, put her feet on the rickety coffee table and found the message she’d hoped for. Grandpa had called.
She called him back, and he answered quickly, as if he’d been waiting. “Happy birthday, darling.”
“Thank you, Grandpa. What are you doing this fine autumn day?”
“Looking at flight schedules. If you’re not ever going to come home, I’m coming to see you.”
Beth’s heart skipped a beat. She would love that.
“I thought I’d like to see the fall colors along the Hudson River. I haven’t been to New York in decades.”
She couldn’t believe it. “This is great, Grandpa! We’ll have to see the sights and do all the tourist things.”
“Maybe not all,” he said chuckling. “I’m not much of a walker anymore.”
Despite the age-related quaver in his voice, he sounded so vital and strong that she forgot his body wasn’t.
“I miss you, Beth. I’ll never forgive myself for the decision that made you go so far away.”
They had talked this to death, but once again she said, “If you were wrong, I was just as wrong to get offended. I’ve been at such peace here, that it must have been the right thing. Maybe I wasn’t ready to work at BMC; maybe I needed this time away to learn what makes me happy. For sure, I tried too hard to please Mom, Dad, you, the whole family.”
“Trying to please is part of life, but it can’t be your life. Now that you know what makes you happy, can you be happy back here?”
“At the clinic?”
“You don’t have to work at BMC. There are free clinics in the L.A. area if that’s your passion or if it’s too much for you to work with the family.”
Too much for her? Running a peds office at Brennan Medical would be a piece of cake compared to her work at a free clinic.
“What would it take to get you back, Beth?”
If she hadn’t found a new dream in all this time, was it God’s plan for her to go back? Could she work there?
“You belong here, darling.”
She didn’t believe that anymore. How could she convince him? “Grandpa, you’ve brought together some of the brightest, most experienced doctors in L.A. They’ve earned the right to practice in an exclusive group, and they value BMC’s prestigious address. My chief credential is that I’m your granddaughter, and I could care less that our patients are rich or famous. I don’t belong there!”
“You’re the future, Beth. Of course you belong.”
“I would only be a disappointment to you, or, worse, an embarrassment.”
“Never!”
“Not even if I wore a frog on my head?”
A loud guffaw had her pulling the phone from her ear. “I believe that’s my traditional New Year’s Eve hat.”
It was. “But I wear funny hats in the office any time I want to, not just like the family does on New Year’s Eve. I collect yellow sneakers in different styles and wear a pair every day. I’m rather eccentric, Grandpa, and I love it. In New York, nobody notices, but, if gossip about the family was an issue for you a year and a half ago, think what it would be like if I were there now.”
There was such silence that Beth thought they’d lost their phone connection.
“Grandpa…?”
“I’m here. I’m thinking.”
Maybe she’d finally made her point. Shouldn’t that make her feel better than she did? She hated arguing with Grandpa.
“Beth, the last time we talked, I said I’d like to fly you home, first class, and I would have a brand-new car waiting for you. Do you remember what you said?”
“I said if material things mattered, I wouldn’t be working as a volunteer at a free clinic.” She felt almost as insulted now, repeating the words, as she had, saying them the first time. She was above taking a bribe.
“Well, what if I said the car that would be waiting for you could be one of those new VW convertibles?”
“A Beetle?” She loved those fun little cars.
“It could be yellow to match your shoes. Imagine it, Beth. Your yellow VW parked in the physicians’ lot, surrounded by every luxury car on the market. It would stand out like a dandelion in an arrangement of roses and announce to the world that the clinic’s new pediatrician was a person who thought for herself and knew what she wanted. What do you think?”
She thought she needed a tissue. Tears trickled down her cheeks. She had just one thing left to say.
“I’m coming home, Grandpa.”
Noah McKnight admired his daughter’s drawing of Brennan Medical Clinic one last time before taking it to work. At the top was her trademark rainbow and Welcome Dr. Brennan, printed in crayon. For a second-grader who’d just turned seven, Kendi had produced a masterpiece, or at least he thought so.
“Daddy, do you think Dr. Brennan will like my welcome sign?”
“Like it? Kendi, she’ll love it!” He lifted her high and kissed her forehead, loving the feel of her long blond hair swishing against his face.
He lowered her to the counter stool so she could supervise. Carefully, he rolled her drawing into a cylinder, making sure it would travel unwrinkled. If he didn’t do the job right, she would tell him about it.
She sat on her knees, leaning over the counter, keeping a watchful eye. Her beautiful hair swung down, covering part of her face.
“You did a nice job of brushing your hair,” he said. A compliment might soften his daughter’s strong will.
“I know,” she said, matter-of-factly. She took being beautiful for granted, just as she took being tall for her age and right-handed.
“How about wearing one of those new barrettes?”
“No,” she said, shaking that blond mane.
“They’re yellow.”
“I love yellow!” she said with a sunny smile.
Like he didn’t know that? “I could French braid your hair.” He was getting better at it.
But she just shook her head, closing the discussion as only she could. Kendi never sassed or was hateful, but she had decided opinions on how most things should be, and there wasn’t a wishy-washy bone in her body. If her mother had been that strong, they might still be a family of three.
“Do you think Dr. Brennan will like the rainbow?”
“She’ll love the rainbow.”
“How do you know that, Daddy?”
“Dr. Brennan is a pediatrician, just like your pediatrician, Dr. Marsha. You know how much Dr. Marsha likes the things you make for her.”
“Yep, she does. And Dr. Crabtree liked his goodbye picture.”
“Yep,” he agreed, though he wasn’t that sure. In the two years Noah had worked as Keith Crabtree’s office nurse, the man had rarely shown enthusiasm or genuine interest in others. It was his reputation for thoroughness, not his personality, that kept his patient roster full.
“Is Dr. Brennan pretty, Daddy?”
“Does that matter?”
“Nope, but is she?”
“I only met her once, and it was a long time ago.” A year and a half was a long time, measured by Kendi’s standards. They’d buried her mother six months before that.
He remembered Beth Brennan better than he admitted, though. When she was introduced as Dr. Crabtree’s replacement, she’d been radiant, happy and so attractive that he’d wondered what it was going to be like working in the close quarters of their office.
Later, when he’d walked with her to her grandfather’s office, and, later still, to her car, he hadn’t been thinking how she looked, just how she must feel. Ragged emotion showed on her face, and he’d wished he could help.
“Does Dr. Brennan like little girls?”
“Sure. And little boys, too.”
“Is Dr. Brennan married?”
“I don’t know.” She hadn’t been when she’d first planned to take Crabtree’s place, but she could be now.
“Well, if she’s not, maybe Dr. Brennan could be your girlfriend.”
Whoa! Where did that come from? He hadn’t had a girlfriend since he’d met Kendi’s mother, and he didn’t want one now. “No, Kendra, Dr. Brennan can’t be my girlfriend.”
“You called me Kendra.”
“That’s your name.”
“Yeah, but you never call me Kendra unless you’re kind of mad at me.”
Did he really do that? “But I love your name. Mommy gave it to you.”
“Why can’t Dr. Brennan be your girlfriend?”
“Because she’s my boss.”
“Why can’t she be your girlfriend and your boss?”
“It’s not a good idea.”
“Why not?”
Okay, he was thirty; she was seven. He should be able to end a conversation. Before Merrilee died, he could have. As the only one left to love Kendi, it was difficult to be hard on her, even a little bit.
He leaned across the counter and tweaked her nose playfully. “Remember when Justin was your boyfriend?”
“Dad-dee! William is my boyfriend!”
“I know. Was Justin mad when you started liking William?”
Kendi giggled. “Yep. He wouldn’t talk to me for a whole day.”
“That’s the way it is with grown-ups, too. If Dr. Beth was my girlfriend, and I got a new girlfriend, she might get mad, and I would have to find a new job.”
“I like new jobs.”
“Yeah, well, you don’t always like new jobs when you’re a grown-up.”
“Why?” Her big blue-violet eyes were glued to his.
Usually, he tried to break things down so she could understand, but this lesson could wait. He knew just the thing to make those eyes glaze with indifference.
“Kendi, when you have to find a new job, you lose your seniority, your retirement benefits, the relationship you’ve developed with colleagues and the opportunity to continue working in an environment you initially chose. You have to begin the job search all over again—networking with former coworkers about openings, interviewing potential employers, assessing whether this work is a good fit for your skills and temperament. You might never find a position you like as well.”
“Daddy?”
“Yes, Kendra?”
“Can we have hot dogs for dinner?”
Chapter Two
Beverly Hills, California—October, one month later
