The Surgeon's Miracle Baby

Well, she’d just go right ahead and look, Louise decided, just pop her head around the door and ask if everything was OK. Then she could put this stupid fantasy to bed, put Daniel Ashwood firmly out of her mind—where he belonged.

‘Did Danny buzz?’

Her hand on the door, jumping as if she’d been caught stealing, Louise froze as Elaine bustled over.

‘Sorry.’ Louise forced an apologetic smile. ‘I got the rooms mixed up. I thought this was Room 4. I was just going to strip the bed now that the patient’s gone home.’

‘Then it’s just as well I stopped you. Danny needs his rest. You’re to let me know if he buzzes and I’ll attend to him. I’ve just called the orderly to come and prepare Room 4—there’s going to be a new admission direct from Theatre, a twenty-two-year-old male with a stab wound to the loin. That’s all the information I have. I’ll let you know more when I find out.’

‘Thanks.’ Louise answered easily but her mind was working overtime as she bade farewell to ‘Danielle’ and tried to fathom Elaine’s rather proprietorial response—consoling herself that Elaine had been exactly the same about Jordan. However, for the rest of the morning it was as if the room taunted her. Her obsession with the patient behind the firmly closed door grew, because even if her Daniel was safely setting the world on fire in London, this one was clearly something special, too, because it took a trip to the loo, a squirt or perfume and a fresh coat of lipstick for Elaine to even go and take his temperature.

Still, at least Louise had something to do now. Once Room 4 had been cleaned by the orderly, she set about preparing it for the new admission, bringing in the observation trolley and making the bed.

‘Getting a new one?’ Shona asked, coming in and taking over one side of the bed, both nurses chatting as they tucked in the sheets and blankets in unison.

‘Stab wound to the loin,’ Louise said. ‘He’s in Theatre now.’ They worked in silence till Louise could take it no more—if she didn’t find out, then quite simply she’d burst! ‘What’s wrong with the patient next door?’ Louise asked as casually as she could, hiding her blush as she stuffed a pillow into its case and took great interest in plumping it up. ‘I nearly went in by mistake and Elaine said that if the patient even buzzed then she was to be told—is he being barrier-nursed?’

‘Oh, no.’ Shona laughed. ‘Nothing like that. Elaine probably thinks it fitting that only the most senior staff look after him—he’s one of our consultants.’

‘The patient in Room 3?’ Louise croaked.

‘Yep.’ Shona nodded. ‘I think Elaine’s trying to dazzle him with a bit of TLC, but she can spray as much perfume and put on as much lipstick as she likes, that’s one nut she’s not going to crack…’ She let out a peel of laughter. ‘Pardon the pun.’

‘You’ve lost me.’

‘Oh, that’s right, you missed handover, didn’t you?’ Shona checked there was no one around and then leant over the bed and spoke in a low, delighted whisper. ‘Well, just in case you do end up going in there, you’d better know that he isn’t really abdo pain for investigation—he had a rather painful injury playing cricket yesterday! The Ashwood family jewels are as black as coal, but thankfully saved and in full working order!’

‘Sorry?’

‘He had a torsion of the testes, the poor guy!’ Shona winced and grinned at the same time, crossing her legs as just the thought of it! ‘Very nasty. He was operated on yesterday afternoon, then had to return for drainage of a haematoma—he only got back from his second op at six this morning. All the poor guy wants, no doubt, is to go home, not spend the morning flirting. More’s the pity, mind you—he’s gorgeous!’

‘I used to work with a consultant by that name—well, he was called Daniel…’ Louise’s heart was hammering in her chest as she spoke, torn between hope and dread. ‘Mind you, that was in London. There must be loads of doctors…’

‘Danny’s from London,’ Shona shrugged. ‘He’s on a year’s rotation here—maybe it is him!’ Oblivious to Louise’s expression, she glanced around the room. ‘I’ll go and get a gown for the new admission and a kidney dish, then you might as well go for your coffee-break before the new admission comes up.’

As surely as if a cricket ball had hit her at high speed, Louise felt as if the wind had literally been knocked out of her, could feel her scarlet cheeks paling as the blood literally drained from her face. Shaking, she lowered herself onto the newly made bed and buried her face in her hands, still, at the eleventh hour, trying to reassure herself that it was a simple mistake, that the man in the next room wasn’t really Daniel.

And wondering how on earth she’d cope if indeed it was!

‘Jordan needs suctioning urgently.’ One of the student nurses came racing down the corridor, looking more than a little alarmed. ‘His chest sounds terrible.’

Instantly Louise snapped to attention, her personal dilemma completely pushed aside as she heard the note of urgency in the student’s voice. ‘What happened?’ Louise asked, as she made her way swiftly down the ward, because even though it was Elaine’s patient, a tracheostomy patient with breathing difficulties couldn’t wait for anyone. ‘Who’s in with him?’

‘Just me,’ the student started, her voice trailing off as she realised the folly of her ways as she said the words out loud. Louise would need to talk to her about it later. Now wasn’t the time or place to tell her never to leave a patient who had difficulty breathing distressed and unattended. Bracing herself for what she might find, hearing his distress from halfway down the corridor, Louise flew the last few steps.

‘It’s OK, Jordan.’ Louise’s voice was reassuring as she entered the room, straight away pushing the call bell for further assistance. Pulling on a pair of gloves, she carefully checked his tracheostomy, relieved to see that it was securely in place. From her handover sheet, Louise knew that Jordan had been in a high-impact motor-vehicle accident two months previously—a mixture of booze, dope and high jinks had almost ended his life. Along with abdominal injuries, he had suffered head and facial injuries. The facial injuries had compromised his airway, necessitating a tracheostomy, which he was being weaned off. But the tracheostomy tube could sometimes fall out or, as was the case in this instance, as Louise immediately decided after a brief assessment, a patient’s airway could become blocked with a mucous plug. Jordan still had air entry, his chest was moving on inspiration, but the air entry was poor and he was clearly distressed.

Louise turned on the suction machine, checking the soft rubber’s patency and lubricating it at the same time with some sterile water, then guided the tube into the airway, placing her finger over the connection to close the circuit and allow the machine to suction the blockage, as Jordan coughed and wheezed.

‘His sats are dropping, they’re only…’ the student said in a alarmed voice as she placed the probe on Jordan’s finger. But Louise silenced her with a wide-eyed glare—panic was the very last thing Jordan needed right now.

‘It’s OK, Jordan,’ Louise soothed over the noisy suction machine. ‘Give me a big cough and we’ll soon have you breathing normally.’

‘Good man!’ Shona was in the room now, rubbing Jordan’s back, assisting him to cough, and Louise was grateful for her calming manner. A compromised airway was a medical emergency and if the partial blockage wasn’t shifted quickly then an emergency call would have to be put out, but with tracheostomies, events like this unfortunately weren’t unusual. A calm, efficient manner was often more beneficial than having loud overhead chimes and doctors rushing into the room.

‘There we go.’ The gurgle of the suction machine and the loud whistling cough as she removed the blockage had everyone in the room, especially Jordan, breathing a touch easier.

‘How is he?’ Elaine’s voice was brisk as she swung into the room and pulled on gloves of her own.

‘Better now,’ Louise said. ‘He had a large mucous plug. He’s still very gurgly, though—he needs deep suction…’

‘I’ll do that,’ Elaine said, briskly and rather rudely taking over. ‘Kelly wants to speak to you.’

‘It can wait, Elaine! Louise is obviously busy.’ Louise recognised the voice from the doorway as Kelly’s, but her words were wasted as a determinedly efficient Elaine took over, clearly feeling her skills were what was needed here. Louise peeled off her gloves and washed her hands, before stepping outside.

‘Well done,’ Kelly said. ‘You handled that well—you’ve clearly worked with trachies before.’

‘It doesn’t mean I like them.’ Louise smiled wryly, only realising now the emergency was over how much it had actually shaken her. ‘I’ve been out of nursing for a few months…’

‘That’s right. You’ve got a young baby, haven’t you?’ The light above her flashed and Louise stood rigid as Kelly paused, clearly expecting Louise to attend to the patient rather than remain talking to her.

‘It’s Elaine’s patient,’ Louise said, as Kelly gave her a rather surprised look. ‘She said I should let her know if he buzzes. Apparently he’s a doctor here.’

‘Ah yes.’ Kelly nodded and popped her head into Room 4. ‘Danny’s buzzing, Elaine—I’ve told Louise to get it.’

Louise could only imagine Elaine’s face, but the thought didn’t stay. Instead, her heart was racing and she could hear the blood pounding in her ears as she approached the forbidden door, bracing herself for what was on the other side, hoping, knowing she was surely wrong, but somehow wishing she could be right. Every emotion she possessed tumbled in confusion as she pushed open the door and stepped inside because, despite the closed curtains and darkened room, there was no mistaking the face lying on the pillow that turned to face her as she entered—a face she’d seen lying on a pillow so many, many times, but under much kinder circumstances. Her fears, her wishes were all answered crashingly as she stared into familiar, shocked, indigo eyes.

‘Hello, Daniel.’ She must have said it because she could hear the words fill the shocked silence, but her voice didn’t sound like her own, the light-hearted, easy way she’d once greeted him light years from this strained, forced greeting as she stared at the man who had once adored her—the man who had then so cruelly hurt her.

Stared at the father of her son.

CHAPTER TWO

LOUISE!

Daniel didn’t say it, just stared at the opening door and the woman walking into his room, his face tightening in disbelief as she paused in the doorway. He tried to convince himself that he must surely be hallucinating as he held back the name that was on the tip of his tongue, had been on the tip of his tongue for ages now. He was terrified of making even more of a fool of himself in front of his colleagues, of calling out her name only to watch his Louise morph into one of the regular nurses on the ward. So instead he blinked a few times, tried to convince himself that it wasn’t her—that surely it was the drugs or pain or anaesthetic causing his mind to play tricks.

It couldn’t be her!

He didn’t want it be Louise, not because he didn’t want to see her—hell, she was the reason he was here in Australia after all! He just didn’t want her to see him like this. Daniel dragged in a deep breath and forced himself to slam the window shut on memories that were starting to breeze in. Lying in a hospital bed, unwell and disorientated, and completely out of control.

It couldn’t be her, Daniel told himself again, because his Louise’s hair was shorter, her body slimmer, more girlish. This was a woman—all woman, he noted as she walked slowly towards him, a softer, more curvaceous version of Louise, her familiar, fresh scent dusting his nostrils, mocking him, reminding him again of the relationship he’d so abruptly discarded, those gorgeous, chocolate brown eyes he had known so well staring once again into his. As her voice reached his ears, finally he succumbed—it really was her.

‘Louise.’ For what had seemed the longest time as she had walked in to the room, he had said nothing, just stared at her as if he was seeing a ghost. Louise was magnanimous enough to acknowledge to herself what a huge shock this must be for him. He was struggling to sit up now, a muscular arm grabbing the bar that hung above the bed, his face grimacing in pain at the sudden movement. Even in the darkened room she could see the lean muscular lines of his body as his untied gown fell off his shoulders.

‘God, I thought I was seeing things for a minute. What are you doing here?’

‘Working.’ She gave a tight smile. ‘But given I’m the one who’s from Australia, shouldn’t I be asking that question of you?’

‘I thought you lived out in the country…’ He was in obvious pain and if it had been anyone else, without hesitation she’d have moved to help, would have told him to sit forward as she shifted the pillows scattered behind him into a supportive cushion, but she was frozen to the spot in the middle of the room.

‘I did,’ Louise responded stiffly, but something inside her gave in then, the nurse in her so ingrained that she made her way over, flicked on the overhead light, straightened his pillows, pulled his gown back up over his shoulders then retied the ribbons at the back. Somehow she managed not to touch him or acknowledge the grateful nod as he rested back. ‘What did you want?’ When he didn’t answer, she elaborated. ‘You buzzed—is there anything I can help you with?’

‘Forget that.’ He let out a stunned, incredulous half-laugh. ‘I haven’t seen you in over a year. Surely—’

‘Surely what?’ Her eyes challenged him to continue. ‘Surely there must be something to talk about? Surely we have some catching up to do?’

‘Louise?’ His voice was groggy, his pupils constricted from the undoubtedly generous amount of opiates he’d been given post-operatively, and for a sliver of time she actually felt sorry for him. The poor guy had had two rounds of surgery after all, and to wake up to the vengeful face of one’s ex wasn’t exactly the ideal scenario. But her sympathy lasted about two seconds. Remembering what he’d put her through, the agony of the past few months, Louise was hard pushed to keep a malicious smile off her face as she thought of his injury—in the hell of a lonely pregnancy and birth it was one she’d dreamt of inflicting herself!

‘How’s your pain?’

‘Not too bad,’ Daniel said, but from his gritted teeth she knew he was lying. ‘I can’t believe this—I mean, you being here!’

‘On a scale of one to ten,’ Louise said, completely ignoring his personal comments and keeping things entirely professional, ‘how would you rate your pain?’

‘Louise,’ Daniel interrupted, ‘can we talk about us?’

‘Us!’ It was Louise now giving a shocked laugh as she shook her head. ‘I’ll ask again—on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?’

‘Five,’ Daniel said. ‘And no, I don’t want anything else for pain. Louise…’

She didn’t let him finish. Her only thought was to get out of the room and somehow attempt to process the fact in her shocked brain that Daniel was here, and it wasn’t going to be a fleeting meeting either—he was the consultant of the ward she was working on! She had to get away, had to work out how on earth she was supposed to deal with it.

‘I’m busy with another patient now.’ She attempted brisk and efficient but it came out rather too harshly and Louise corrected herself—reminding herself that even if it was Daniel, today he was a patient—that today, at least, he deserved her respect and care. ‘What did you buzz for?’

‘I wanted to find out how long it would be till my discharge meds are ready. I’m really keen to get home.’

Which was understandable, but from the slightly grey tinge to his face and the fact he was still on high-dose analgesics, Louise doubted he’d be going home any time that day. Still, she’d leave it for someone else to break that news to him, she decided. Right now, all she wanted was out.

‘I can’t answer that for you, Daniel. Elaine’s the nurse in charge and she’s the one allocated to look after you, but she’s busy with another patient right now. As soon as she’s done, I’ll let her know you were asking.’ Managing the briefest of smiles, she turned to go, but the drugs he was on must have weakened his usual staunch reserve because she hadn’t even reached the door before he called out to her.

‘That’s it? You’re just going to walk out like that? You’ve nothing else to say?’

She had nothing else to say—nothing that could be said, without breaking down anyway—twelve months of hell ripping through her as with the briefest shake of her head Louise walked out of his room, scarcely able to comprehend the appalling coincidence that had bought Daniel Ashwood back into her life.

‘What did Danny want?’ Elaine practically pounced on her as she walked out of the room—not that Louise noticed, her mind spinning at the shocking confrontation, stunned, appalled, terrified not just that he was here but that, despite all that had happened, despite all the dirty water under their bridge, somehow she still wanted him.

‘Louise,’ Elaine insisted. ‘What did Danny want?’

‘He wants to know when his discharge meds will be ready.’ Running a dry tongue over her pale lips, Louise forced herself to act normally. ‘I think he wants to go home.’

‘Well, he’s not going anywhere. The surgeons want him to stay for another twenty-four hours—I’d better go and break the news. Are you OK?’

‘I’m fine,’ Louise said, then, seeing Elaine’s frown, thought she’d better come up with a reason. ‘I’m a bit sore, actually—I’ve never gone this long without feeding Declan.’

‘I know you didn’t get a coffee-break—why don’t you have an early lunch?’ Elaine offered. ‘Add your coffee-break to it. Theatre just rang and they’re going to be keeping that stab wound in Recovery for another hour or so—his blood pressure’s still very low.’

Louise didn’t need to be asked twice, so she headed down to the crèche and stepped into the hubbub of children’s cries and chatter. The room was a den of activity as toddlers messily ate their lunch at low tables and babies banged spoons for attention in their high chairs. But Louise had eyes only for one child in the room, an anxious smile breaking out on her face as Jess, the cheery child-care worker who had greeted her early that morning, ushered her into a chair. ‘Someone’s going to be very pleased to see you.’ Jess beamed. ‘He’s just woken up from his morning nap. Have a seat and I’ll get him for you.’

The sight of Declan’s angry red face as Jess brought him over tore at her heartstrings, her breasts literally aching for her son. ‘Did he take the bottle OK this morning?’ Louise asked anxiously.

‘It took a while.’ Jess gave a sympathetic smile at Louise’s distraught face. ‘He’ll soon get used to it and remember that it’s your milk that we’re giving him.’ Her tone was reassuring. ‘Don’t feel guilty for having to work. Like I said, he’ll soon get used to it.’

He had no choice but to get used to it, Louise thought, wishing it didn’t have to be like this. She took her red-faced, tearful son from Jess, her breasts weeping as he was handed over, hating the thought of him crying for her while she worked just a short distance away. Rage starting to trickle in that her tiny baby had to be in a crèche rather than at home, where he belonged at this tender age.

Yes, rage, Louise decided as slowly her baby calmed, as slowly he relaxed in her arms and hungrily took his feed. Rage that Daniel Ashwood had done this to her.

Had done this to them.

‘Danny wants to talk to you.’ Elaine’s face looked as if she’d been sucking lemons as she reluctantly passed on the message. ‘I told him you were in the crèche, feeding your son, but he said that he’d like a word when you came back.’

‘You told him…’ Louise snapped her mouth closed. Panic built inside her, which she tried hard not to let Elaine see. ‘What did he say?’

‘I’ve already told you,’ Elaine answered tartly, turning on her rubber-soled heel. ‘And can you make it quick please? When you’re done, I want you to give an enema to bed 2.’

If Elaine considered it a punishment, she was wrong—giving an enema was infinitely preferable to answering Daniel’s inevitable questions. Deep down she’d known this day was coming, just never in her wildest dreams when she’d woken up that morning had she thought it might be this one. Over the last twelve months she had penned so many unsent letters to him, and she wished she had one of them in her pocket now, could hand it to him to read, could let him know, without breaking down, why it had been so impossible to tell him she was pregnant, why she’d made the difficult decision to raise Declan alone.

Bracing herself, she opened the door, her usually sunny face pale and grim, her mind whirring as to how to play this, how to deal with the barrage of fire that was surely heading her way.

‘You wanted to talk to me?’

‘I think there’s quite a bit to say.’ The calmness in his voice caught her completely unawares. He looked much more together now. His bed had been freshly made, the curtains were open and his eyes more able to focus. ‘Don’t you?’

‘Not really.’ Louise gave a tight shrug, unsure where this was leading, confused by his demeanour. ‘I think you made things very clear the last time we spoke,’

‘Sit down, Louise,’ Daniel said, and then softened it slightly. ‘Please.’ It was easier to sit than stand, so she did so, utterly unable to look at him, terrified that if she did she’d start crying. ‘I just think it would be better if we clear the air now.’

Clear the air?

Her eyes darted to his, then darted away, her mind struggling to fathom his meaning.

‘We’re obviously going to be working together and things might get a bit uncomfortable if—’

‘Don’t worry,’ Louise broke in. ‘I’m not going to walk around with a megaphone, telling everyone I shagged the new consultant last year when I was on a working holiday.’

‘Louise,’ Daniel snapped like a schoolmaster. ‘There’s no need for language like that.’

‘Why not?’ Louise shrugged. ‘That’s exactly what it was, according to you—a quick fling with no involvement!’

‘I said some harsh things when we broke up,’ Daniel said a touch less loftily. ‘A lot of them I wish I could take back. I never meant to imply—’

‘You didn’t imply anything, Daniel,’ Louise interrupted. ‘You spelt things out—very clearly, in fact. And for the record, we didn’t break up. If I remember rightly, you woke up one morning—after we’d spent a night making love, I hasten to add—and told me that it was never going to work, that I wasn’t the sort of wife you wanted—’

‘Louise, listen—’

‘No, Daniel, you listen!’ She’d grown up in a year, the dizzy, happy-go-lucky girl he’d met gone for ever as the woman she now was turned her eyes to face him. ‘You told me that the last thing you wanted from me was a serious relationship, that you’d thought we were just having a “bit of fun” before I went back to Australia…’

‘Louise.’ His calm voice only exacerbated her agitated one. ‘Clearly we did both want different things. I just felt that it was all moving too quickly. Yes, that night we had made love, but that night you had also made it clear that somewhere in the not-too-distant future you wanted a husband and babies.’

‘I didn’t say that!’ Louise said indignantly. ‘God, you make it sound as if I was desperate. If you care to remember, we were talking about where we saw ourselves in five years. I’d have been thirty-two by then…’

‘And I’d have been thirty-nine.’ Daniel shrugged. ‘And I realised that night we had different visions of our futures. It was just all getting too serious. Louise, you were talking of extending your stay in the UK because of me, because of us!’

‘Because I thought there was an us,’ Louise choked. ‘Because I thought you felt as strongly as I did. I thought we wanted the same thing.’

‘Well, we didn’t,’ Daniel broke in, shattering her already broken heart just a touch further, if that were possible. ‘Clearly! Elaine mentioned you had a baby now…’ Louise sucked in her breath, every nerve taut, staring at his expressionless face and trying to fathom what he was thinking, trying to work out her answer to the question that was surely, after all this time, coming. ‘And I’m glad for you,’ Daniel said, oblivious to the bewildered frown spreading over her face. ‘I’m pleased that you’ve found someone who makes you happy. I just wanted to be sure there were no hard feelings between us, given that we’re going to be working together.’