More Precious than a Crown

‘I’m not starting anything, I was just saying...’

‘Well, don’t!’ Dianne warned. ‘You’ve already done your level best to ruin this day. All you have to do now is smile. Can you manage that?’’

‘Of course, but I’m not singing.’

‘And lose the smart mouth.’ Dianne secured her hat as she issued instructions. ‘Go now and apologise to Yvette. I’m going to make my way to the church. I’ll see you there and I’m warning you...’

‘Noted.’

‘I mean it, Trinity, I don’t want a scene from you today.’

She should say nothing, Trinity knew that. She should just nod and reassure her mum that she’d behave, but, hell, she had a voice and as much as her parents loathed that fact, Trinity was determined to find it.

‘Then just make sure I’m not put in any position where I might need to make a scene,’ Trinity said, and her mother’s silk-clad shoulders stiffened and Trinity watched as the feather sticking out of Dianne’s hat shivered in anger as Trinity refused to comply with orders.

‘Will you just...?’ Dianne hissed, and turned around. ‘Can you try and remember that this is your brother’s wedding and not spoil a family gathering for once.’ Her face was right up at Trinity’s. ‘For once can today not be about you?’

‘Of course.’ Trinity stared back coolly but her heart was hammering in her chest. ‘Just make sure that you keep that sleaze well away from me.’

‘Are you still going on about that? It was years ago...’ Two champagnes on an empty stomach that was fluttering with mother-of-the-groom nerves and Dianne would not be argued with, and certainly she wanted nothing to spoil what had to be a perfect day. ‘You will behave, Trinity, you will be polite and you will smile.’

It had been stupid to hope things might be different.

Nothing had changed, Trinity realised.

Nothing ever would.

‘What are you doing?’ Trinity asked, as she watched her mother’s painfully slow attempt to write a text. ‘I’ll do it.’

‘It’s done,’ Dianne said, as her phone made the small whooshing sound that meant her text had been sent. ‘I was just letting Zahid know that you’re on your way to Yvette and that everything’s back on schedule.’

As she took the elevator to Yvette’s room for the first time that morning Trinity smiled.

As he pulled his phone from his pocket and read the text, so too did Zahid.

CHAPTER THREE

IT WAS NOT the bride who drew Zahid’s eye as she entered the church; instead, it was the woman who walked behind her who held his attention.

There was a smile fixed on Trinity’s face but her eyes were as wary and as truculent as the teenage Trinity’s, but then they met his and Zahid watched as her pale cheeks infused with pink. For both of them there was a moment’s return to a wood many years ago and a kiss that both wished had drawn to a more natural conclusion.

Zahid smiled, which he rarely did, and Trinity was so lost for a moment, so taken aback by Zahid’s smile that as the bride halted, for a second Trinity didn’t. She actually forgot her place, for it was as if she should simply walk on to Zahid—to go now and greet him as her body wanted to and wrap her arms around his neck, but instead, after a brief falter, Trinity halted and took the flowers from Yvette.

Zahid turned his back to her then and the service commenced.

The service was long, not by Zahid’s standards, just terribly long to stand there and not turn around when he would have preferred to.

Though Zahid stared ahead, he was looking at her very closely in his mind and re-examining the Trinity he’d seen today.

Her dress was terrible. Like a synthetic sapphire, it lacked depth and mystery and it was far too tight. Her hair was worn up and dotted with violets that matched the dark smudges under her eyes, yet she looked, to Zahid, amazing. Sun-kissed, dirty blonde, fragile and sexy, she was everything he remembered her to be and more.

Trinity stared ahead, loathing that her shoulders were bare and wondering whose eyes were on them. She hated the loud sound of her aunt’s husband singing a hymn, as if he meant the words, as if he were a decent man.

So, instead of dwelling on the man behind and to the right, she fixed her gaze ahead and stared at Zahid, a man who did not know the words but neither did Zahid pretend to sing. He stood firm and dignified and she willed him to turn around.

He didn’t.

He could have no idea the torture today was for her, for she could tell no one about her past—that had been spelt out to her many years ago. His raven hair was glossy and immaculate, his shoulders wider than before and possibly he was taller. She saw the clenching of his fist in the small of his back and remembered that same hand on her waist when the world had seemed so straightforward. As he handed over the rings she was treated to a glimpse of his strong profile and her ears strained to capture whatever words he murmured to Donald.

Zahid was as conscious of Trinity as she was of him, so much so that as they all squeezed into the vestry for the signing of the register, despite the chatter from others, he only heard her exhale in brief relief.

‘Trinity...’ her father warned as she leant against the wall to catch her breath, so relieved was she to be away from Clive.

Donald and Yvette signed the register and Gus added his signature with a flourish. Trinity watched as Zahid added his. Sheik Prince Zahid Bin Ahmed of Ishla.

‘Leave some space for me.’ Trinity smiled and then added her own signature.

Trinity Natalii Foster.

Her hand was shaking, Trinity realised as she put down the pen, only the nerves she had now felt very different to the ones that she’d had before.

As she stepped back from the register she caught the deliciously familiar scent of Zahid and as he lowered his head to her ear the tiny bones all shivered awake to the deep, long-buried thrill of his low, intimate voice.

‘Natalii?’

‘Born at Christmas,’ Trinity said. ‘Please never repeat it again, I hate it.’

Of course she had been born at Christmas, Zahid thought, for, unbeknown to Trinity he had returned to the Fosters’ in the hope of seeing her in the new year after she would have turned eighteen.

Trinity hadn’t been there.

She was here now, though, and Zahid spoke on.

‘I thought that it was the bride’s prerogative to be late.’

‘You know how I loathe tradition.’

‘Does that mean we shan’t be dancing later?’ Zahid asked, and she turned to his slow smile. ‘Given how you loathe tradition.’

Oh!

Trinity blinked for it was as if he didn’t know she was dead inside, as if he didn’t know that her frigid body no longer worked, yet it felt now as if it did, for a pulse was working high in her neck—Trinity could feel it, and her stomach was fluttering as it had years before on that night.

With Zahid beside her, she could remember the beauty, rather than dwell on the pain.

‘I suppose we shall...’ Trinity sighed, as if dancing with Zahid would be a huge concession. ‘I’d hate to cause trouble.’

‘Liar,’ Zahid said, and his hand met the small of her back as he guided her out of the vestry.

With one brief exchange, with that small touch, she was back in the woods, innocent and unfurling to his hand, and it was actually dizzying to walk behind Yvette and Donald and through the congregation. More than that, it was exhilarating to step outside into the sun and, on the day Trinity had been dreading, she felt her heart soaring like the bells that rang out around them.

To be, for the first time, at such a function and be just a little bit taken care of, for Zahid’s duty now was not just to the groom, was, to Trinity, amazing.

He stood for the wedding photos and even made the unbearable a touch less so as the family all gathered around.

‘Smile, Trinity,’ he said out of the corner of his mouth, and she forgot the shiver of dread that Clive was near.

‘You don’t,’ she pointed out, and then frowned at her own words because Zahid smiled so readily when their eyes met and held.

‘It is not in my nature to smile.’

For some reason that made her giggle just enough for the photographer to get his shot and then they piled into cars and they met at the hotel.

As the bride and groom entered, one look at her very relaxed brother and Trinity knew that Donald must be on something.

Please, no, Trinity begged in her head.

He had promised her he was over that now.

She and Zahid sat at opposite ends of the top table and though she wished they were sitting next to each other, maybe it was for the best, Trinity thought, for just knowing he was here was distracting enough.

Anyway, they’d no doubt run out of conversation within two minutes, though she was dying to know what he was up to and desperate to know if he was seeing someone.

Surely not, Trinity consoled herself, because back in the vestry Zahid had definitely been flirting.

She struggled through the meal, her reward that awaited her dance with him, and soon enough it was time for the speeches.

To his credit, Zahid did unbend a fraction and asked for some sparkling water for the toasts!

God, he was so controlled, so well behaved, Trinity thought, stretching her legs under the table and slipping off her shoes as the speeches started and doing her best not to yawn, not because she was bored by the speeches but because jet-lag was starting to seriously hit.

Yvette’s father went first, thanking everyone and saying how thrilled he was to welcome Donald into the family. Zahid’s face was impassive but he privately thought that Yvette’s father had the look of a man who had brought home a puppy for the children only to realise it was going to grow into the size of a small horse.

It was the small horse’s turn next and Zahid watched as Yvette scratched anxiously at her neck as her very new husband took to his feet.

Donald thanked everyone too, especially his beautiful wife. ‘I’d like to thank Zahid for all his help and for travelling so far to be here.’ Donald smiled a loaded smile. ‘You’ve been an excellent best man and I hope to return the favour when it is your turn to marry next year.’

Zahid’s jaw clamped down as Donald rambled on and he glanced over at Trinity. Her cheeks were red, an angry red, and she was dribbling salt on her sorbet.

He hadn’t wanted her to hear his news like that.

As Donald proposed a toast to the bridesmaids, Zahid watched as Trinity raised her glass...

But to a passing waiter.

Oh, Trinity.

He wanted to go over and halt her, to whisk her away, to explain that she had misunderstood.

It was the truth, though.

And this early in the evening the truth hurt them both.

Zahid duly stood and thanked the groom for his words on behalf of the bridesmaids, though privately he’d have liked to knock him out. Then he thanked everyone else that he had to and said all the things that a best man should, but then it came to the part where Donald should star, where this future king should demure and ensure that the groom shone.

‘Donald and I...’ Zahid glanced at his notes and then faltered, and Trinity looked up at the brief hesitation as Zahid silently recalled a teenage incident and saw it now through the eyes of a man.

They were your drugs.

He could see it so clearly now and yet here he stood, all these years later, paying the price for Donald’s supposed valour.

Well, no more.

‘Donald and I...’ Zahid resumed his speech but he was not looking at his notes now ‘...attended the same school and later were students at the same university.’ Trinity heard her father’s cough in an attempt to prompt Zahid, and she looked at her brother’s expectant face, but the glory never came. Zahid went on to recall a few antidotes and all in all it was a very nice speech—he just forgot to paint Donald as the hero in Zahid’s life.

False duty had been more than repaid.

And so to the dancing.

Zahid stood over Trinity, waiting for her to join him on the floor, but it was a touch more complicated than standing for Trinity, because her already tight shoes refused to go back on, but finally she forced her feet into them. ‘The things I do for my family,’ Trinity said, as he led her to the floor. ‘Not that they appreciate it.’

‘I am appreciative...’ Zahid said, as he loosely held her and they started to dance and she waited for him to finish his sentence.

He didn’t.

‘Of what?’ Trinity prompted. ‘You are appreciative of what?’

‘That you are here,’ Zahid said. ‘That we see each other again after all this time.’

They both knew it was running out for them and there was no tail wind to help them catch up, no buttons to push that could change things.

Except he pushed the right ones.

Zahid was the only man who did.

‘I loved your speech,’ Trinity said, her words a little stilted, for she was cross with Zahid for flirting when he was about to be wed. Yet she was cross only from the neck up. Her body had seemed to overlook the fact he would soon be marrying the very second that she was in his arms.

‘You’re the only one who liked it. Your father looks as if he wants to kill me.’

‘It’s me he’s shooting daggers at!’ Trinity looked to the right and smiled sweetly at her father. ‘I was late, you know?’

‘You were.’

‘And not looking out for my brother.’

Zahid looked down to those blue eyes again and wondered how much she knew, for he was sure that Donald was high. ‘Is it nice to see your brother happy?’

‘Donald wouldn’t know what happy was if it was hand delivered and he had to sign for it.’ She looked over at Donald, who was smiling and laughing to his bride. ‘He’s loaded,’ Trinity said. ‘Nothing changes.’

‘You?’ Zahid said.

‘I don’t go near anything like that.’

‘I meant,’ Zahid corrected himself, ‘are you happy?’

‘Not today,’ Trinity said, then it was she who corrected herself. ‘Actually, right now I am.’

‘Because?’

‘Because,’ Trinity said, because in his arms she actually was and, no, she should not be flirting, she had been called a tease so very many times when she was unable to follow through, but she just needed one lovely thing to focus on, just the teeniest bit of help to get through the night and, for good or bad, Zahid was it.

‘Because?’ he said into her ear, and it was then that she succumbed.

‘Because my brother has excellent taste in groomsmen.’

‘His bride has terrible taste in dresses.’

‘She does,’ Trinity sighed. ‘Though in fairness my mother would have lied about my measurements. She prefers me with an eating disorder, it makes her a more visible martyr...’

Trinity was, Zahid decided, rather wise.

‘I’m supposed to be singing later,’ Trinity said, and her hands moved up and linked behind his neck and, yes, they were back in the woods again. ‘As I said to my mother, my name isn’t Trinity Von Trapp.’ She went to explain, because he probably had no idea what she was talking about, but then she remembered a long-ago Christmas and Dianne forcing them to watch the Sound of Music and Trinity giggling at Zahid’s somewhat bemused expression.

More than that, though, somehow he got her—she did not have to explain everything to Zahid.

‘Rolfe might join you,’ he said into her ear, and though Zahid would no more sing than fly to the moon a smile played on her lips as she pulled her head back, just enough that her back arched in just a little and Zahid’s tongue rolled to his cheek as something else stirred to her words.

‘I prefer the captain.’

It was a tiny dirty dance, but with words. The heat from his palms was surely searing her dress and the way he simply let her be had her breathing freely for the first time since she could remember. With Zahid her body seemed to know how to work. He induced only pleasure and made it safe to be a touch wanton.

Then she remembered she was cross with him.

As the music ended, instead of sinking in for another dance, she pulled back.

‘I’d better go and see how Yvette is.’

‘I will check on the groom.’ He gave a small nod. ‘Perhaps later we dance...’

Trinity gave a tight smile as she walked off but she felt conflicted. No doubt Zahid thought her a party girl, no doubt he assumed where the night was leading.

He could never guess that she felt ill at the very thought of sex.

Only she didn’t feel ill in his arms.

Trinity wanted to get back to him, only Yvette was teary and she either had raging cystitis or her bladder was the size of a thimble or more likely she really was pregnant, because she wanted to go to the loo on the hour every hour and Trinity had to help with the dress.

‘Your brother...’ Yvette was trying to tame her angry cheeks with Trinity’s foundation. ‘I just got a call from the hotel—he hasn’t paid the reservation fee...’

‘I’m sure it’s just a mix-up,’ Trinity suitably soothed.

She was quite sure to the contrary, though.

The night wore on and the only time they met was when Dianne introduced Trinity to a group that Zahid was in and, of course, one of them had to ask what she was doing with her degree.

‘I’m thinking of moving to France.’ Trinity beamed, deciding that it might not be such a bad idea actually and feeling her mother’s tension beside her, ‘but right now I work in a library at a large college—’

‘The reference section,’ Dianne interrupted, and Zahid watched the daggers that shot from Trinity’s eyes.

Dianne was determined that Trinity would sing and trying to escape the inevitable, true to form, Trinity slipped outside for some air.

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