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She didn’t want a relationship. That was the simple truth, and the real reason why she always called things off.

Victoria didn’t trust anyone and certainly she didn’t want to get involved with a colleague who she would have to run into day after day.

They walked into Reception and Karen took out the keys and went into the safe, then handed Victoria the slim envelope that contained the earring. As Victoria put it on, Karen started chatting with the receptionist.

‘See you!’ Victoria called, and went to walk off but then she halted.

She checked that Karen and the receptionist were still talking and realised she could go behind the screen unnoticed.

It was something she had always done as a child and something she still occasionally did, though she always made sure that no one saw her.

Up the steps she went.

Remembering being little, and the hours that she had had to kill.

Growing up, Paddington’s had been more of a home than the house where Victoria had lived and she could not stand the thought of it being sold.

She looked out to the night. The moon was huge and she could see the dark shadows of Regent’s Park in the distance. There were taxis and buses below and she could see the protestors who, despite a shower of rain, still stood waving their placards.

They didn’t want to lose their hospital.

That’s what it was.

Theirs.

It was a place that belonged to the people, and now it was about to be sold off and possibly razed to the ground.

Victoria was tough.

She didn’t get involved with the patients; she had made the decision when she started her training to be kind but professional.

But this place, this space, moved her.

The walls held so much history and the air itself tasted of hope. It seemed wrong, simply wrong, that it might go.

There was so much comfort here.

She thought of Penny and how un-scared she was to come to Paddington’s.

Victoria had felt the same.

‘I shan’t be long,’ her father would say.

Her mother had left when Victoria was almost one year old and her father had had little choice sometimes but to bring her into work. He would plonk her in a sitting room and one of the staff would always take time to get her a drink or sandwich.

Of course, then their break would end and she would be left alone.

Often Victoria would wander.

Sometimes she would sit in an old quadrangle and read. Other times she would play in the stairwells.

But here was the place she loved most and she had whiled away many hours in this lovely unused room.

Here Victoria would dance or sing or simply imagine.

And maybe she was doing that now, because the door creaked open and she heard his deep voice.

‘Excuse me.’

CHAPTER THREE

DOMINIC HAD BEEN about to make his way home after visiting his patients on the wards but, not ready to face it yet, he had decided to spend some time in a place that was starting to become familiar.

He had never expected to see Victoria, yet here she was. Despite the heels and coat and that her hair was down, and despite that he could only see her back and that it was dark, still he recognised her.

But it seemed clear, not just from the location, but from the way her hand rested against the window, and Victoria’s pensive stance, that she wanted to be alone.

‘Excuse me,’ Dominic said, and she turned at the sound of his voice. ‘I didn’t think anyone was up here.’

‘It’s fine.’ Victoria gave him a thin smile.

‘I’ll leave you,’ he offered, but Victoria shook her head.

‘You don’t have to do that.’

He walked across the wooden floor and came and joined her at the window.

He was still in scrubs and she could see that he was tired.

‘I thought only I knew about this place,’ Victoria said. ‘It would seem not.’

‘I don’t think many people know about it,’ he said. ‘At least, I’ve never seen anyone up here and it looks pretty undisturbed.’

‘How did you find it?’

Dominic didn’t answer.

They stood in mutual silence, staring ahead, though not really taking in the view of London at night.

Unlike the thick modern glass in the main hospital, here the windows were thin and there were a couple of cracked ones. The shower had turned to rain and the air was cold but it was incredibly peaceful.

‘Where did you work before here?’ Victoria asked him.

‘Edinburgh.’

‘So you’re used to wonderful views.’

He thought of the city he loved built around the castle, and of Arthur’s Seat rising above the city, and he nodded and then turned his head and looked at something just as beautiful, though he could see that she was sad.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked, and Victoria was about to nod and say she was fine but changed her mind and gave a small shrug.

‘I’m just a bit flat.’

She offered no more than that.

‘Has a patient upset you?’

She frowned at the very suggestion and turned to look at him.

‘Penny?’ he checked, because he had found out this evening that the little girl had wormed her way into a lot of the staff’s hearts here at Paddington’s. But Victoria shook her head.

‘I don’t get upset over patients and certainly not over a routine transfer. If I did, then I’d really be in the wrong job!’

‘And I doubt it was me that upset you,’ he said, and she gave a little laugh.

‘No, you I can handle.’

And then Victoria was glad that it was dark because she had started to blush at her own innuendo, even though she hadn’t meant it in that way. And so, to swiftly move on from that, she offered more information as to her mood. ‘If you must know it’s this place that I’m upset about. I can’t believe it might be knocked down or turned into apartments. I was practically raised here.’

‘You were sick as a child?’

‘No! My father worked here in A&E and he used to bring me in with him. Sometimes I’d sneak up here.’ She didn’t add just how often it had happened. How her childhood had been spent being half-watched by whatever nurse, domestic, secretary, receptionist or whoever was available.

And she certainly didn’t mention her mother.

Victoria did all she could never to think, let alone discuss, the woman who had simply upped and walked away.

‘My father now works at Riverside—Professor Christie.’

She turned and saw the raise of his eyes.

It wasn’t an impressed raise.

Dominic had spoken to him on occasion and knew that Professor Christie wasn’t the most pleasant of people.

‘He’s crabby too,’ Victoria said.

And Dominic decided to make one thing very clear. ‘At the risk of causing offence, I might be crabby, Victoria, but I’m not cold to the bone.’

Dominic did not cause offence. It was, in fact, rather a relief to hear it voiced as, given her father’s status, people tended to praise him rather than criticise, and that had been terribly confusing to a younger Victoria.

It still confused her even now.

She had stood at the award ceremony yesterday hearing all the marvellous things being said about him. Afterwards, at the reception, more praise had been heaped.

The emperor had really had on no clothes, though there was not a person brave enough to voice it.

Until now.

‘Well,’ Victoria said, ‘I saw him yesterday and he seems to think the merge is going to go ahead.’

Dominic nodded; he had heard the same. ‘It’s a shame.’

‘It’s more than a shame,’ Victoria said, and for the first time he heard the sound of her voice when upset—even when they had argued she had remained calm. ‘This place is more than just a facility,’ Victoria insisted. ‘Families feel safe when they know their children are here. It can’t just close.’

‘Do something about it, then.’

‘Me?’

She looked down at the protestors and wondered if she should join them. But in her heart, Victoria knew it wasn’t enough and that more needed to be done.

‘If you care so much,’ Dominic said, ‘then fight for what matters to you.’

It did matter to her, Victoria thought.

Paddington’s really mattered.

And it was nice to be up here and not alone with her thoughts, but rather to be sharing them with him.

‘How did you find this room?’ Victoria asked again.

He still hadn’t told her, and now when he did it came as a surprise.

‘I saw you sneak behind the shelves a couple of months ago and I wondered where you’d gone. When I got a chance I went and had a look for myself.’

‘You can’t have seen me.’ Victoria shook her head at the impossibility of his explanation. ‘I always make sure that no one does. Anyway, I’d have known if you were around...’ And she halted, because that was admitting that any time she was at this hospital she was aware of where he was.

‘I was in the waiting room talking to a parent,’ he said. ‘I saw you through the glass...’

‘I guess I stand out in those green overalls.’

‘I don’t think it’s the green overalls, Victoria.’

She gave a soft laugh.

She was dressed in black now after all.

Yet he was confirming that he noticed her too.

‘Did you see me come up tonight?’ Victoria asked.

‘No. I just wanted some space. I thought you were finished for the night.’

‘I am. I was supposed to be going out,’ Victoria said, explaining the reason for heels and things. ‘But I cancelled.’

And now he thought he knew the real reason she was sad.

‘Have you just broken up with someone?’

‘I don’t think you can really call it a break-up if you cancel a second date.’

No, she wasn’t sad about that; Dominic could tell from her dismissive shrug. It would seem it really was just the building.

‘Well,’ he said. ‘I’m sure he’s very disappointed.’

And then he went to retract that because it came out wrong, as if he was alluding to how stunning she looked.

‘What I meant was that—’

He stopped; whatever way he said it would sound like flirting, and he was avoiding all that.

‘I think I’ve done us both a favour,’ Victoria said. ‘He didn’t seem to understand the concept of shift work. So,’ she asked, ‘if it wasn’t me, then what brought you up here?’ She wanted to know more about those difficult days he had alluded to.

‘I’m in the middle of something right now...’ Dominic said. ‘Well, not in the middle—I’ve taken myself out of the equation. I’m staying back from getting involved with anyone.’

‘Good,’ Victoria said, ‘because I don’t like to get involved with anyone at work.’

Yet here they were and the tension that had been in the annexe wrapped and slivered around them.

‘Are you married?’ she asked.

It was a very specific question and the answer was important to Victoria, because the cold air had turned warm.

‘No.’

‘Seeing someone?’

‘Of course not,’ Dominic said, or he would not be doing this—and his hand moved to her cheek. ‘You got your earring back.’

‘They were a gift from my father.’

‘That’s nice,’ Dominic said.

‘Not really, it was just a duty gift when I turned eighteen. Had he bothered to get to know me, then he’d have known that I don’t like diamonds.’

‘Why not?’

‘I don’t believe in fairytales and I don’t believe in for ever.’

There was, to Victoria’s mind, no such thing.

She held her breath as his fingers came to her cheek and lightly brushed the lobe as he examined the stone.

If it were anyone else she would have pushed his hand away.

Anyone else.

Yet she provoked.

‘It was the other earring that I lost.’

And he turned her face and his hands went to the other.

This was foolish, both knew.

Neither wanted to get close to someone they had to work alongside but the attraction between them was intense.

Both knew the reason for their rows and terse exchanges; it was physical attraction at its most raw.

‘Victoria, I’m in no position to get involved with anyone.’

They were standing looking at each other and his hands were on her cheeks and his fingers were warm on her ears. There was a thrum between them and she knew he was telling her they would go nowhere.

‘That’s okay.’

And that was okay.

‘If you don’t like diamonds, then what do you like?’ he asked. His mouth was so close to hers and though it was cold she could feel the heat in the space between them.

‘This.’

Their mouths met and she felt the warm, light pressure and it felt blissful. That musky, soapy scent of him had been imprinted and, this close, it made her dizzy. His tongue sliding in made her move closer and the fingers of one hand reached into her hair as the other hand slid around her waist.

It was almost like setting up to dance, as if the teacher had come in and said, Place your hands here.

But not.

Because then she hadn’t felt a tremble, no matter how warm the palm.

They kissed softly at first as his hand bunched in her hair; he explored with his tongue and it met with hers and he tasted all that had been missing.

Passion coiled them tight; his palm took the weight of her head and pressed her in at the same time.

The pent-up rows and the terse exchanges had been many and could not be dispersed with a single kiss.

It was a deep slow kiss and it birthed impatience in both. He held her head very steady and kissed her hard, and the scratch of his unshaven jaw and the probe of his tongue was sublime. But then, unlike with most men, she tasted resistance.

There was resistance, because Dominic knew very well where they were leading. ‘I don’t have anything with me,’ he said.

And she wanted to feel him unleashed.

‘I do.’

And when most would kiss harder, instead Dominic made her burn with his stealth. He stepped back and moved her coat down her shoulders and did not drop it to the dusty floor. Instead he placed it on the window ledge and she went for her purse that was there.

He came up behind her as she rifled through her purse, praying that the condom was still there and trying to find it. One hand wrapped around her and rested on her stomach as his other hand slid up between her inner thighs to the damp in the middle. His fingers stroked her and she closed her eyes to the bliss.

‘Here.’ She had never been so pleased to find a condom as he peeled her knickers down and she straightened up and stepped out of them.

Still he stood behind her and he lifted her hair and kissed her low on her neck. His hand pressed into her stomach and she could feel him hard against her bottom. Victoria was shaking a little, wanting to turn to him, yet wanting to linger in this bliss.

‘Come away from the window,’ he said, and took her over to a wall in the shadows and he kissed her hard against it. His hands held her hips and now Victoria felt the delicious hardness of him against her stomach. She stretched up onto tiptoe and he moved his hips down so he met her heat.

It was nice, so nice, to be so raw and open with him.

He caressed her breast through the fabric and, since he could feel no zipper on her dress, with a moan of want he just slid his hand inside and it was the most thorough and deliberate grope of her life. Meanwhile, Victoria was doing the same to him; she was trying to hold on to the condom as she freed him from his scrubs and underwear.

Finally, she held him in her palm, and her hand was soft on skin that was so very firm to her touch.

‘I want this dress off...’ Dominic gasped, but it was impossible because they could not move their mouths for more than a second from each other.

They wanted nakedness and hours to explore, but their bodies would only give them minutes.

He took the condom and began sheathing himself, while she was pulling up her dress, and when he was done, he lifted her thigh and placed her leg around his hip.

And they were not dancing!

She balanced on one stiletto but his grip of her was firm and the wall behind her solid. Then her hips angled and both were just as urgent as the other as Dominic thrust and took her.

Victoria had never felt anything so powerful. He was rough and delicious and she felt matched for the first time in her life, because he held nothing back.

Everything he delivered.

Dominic’s hand was behind her back and he could feel the scratch of stone on his knuckles but that was so far from his mind that it barely registered.

‘There...’ she said in a voice that was both demanding and urgent.

He met that demand and heightened it too.

She felt amazing. Dominic was rather more used to holding back, but Victoria invited intensity. It had been ages for Dominic, and he had wanted her for a very long time.

There was almost anger in him for how much she made him want her, so he thrust hard and fast and then harder still to the sound of her pleasurable moans, and then he lifted her.

Victoria had never had both feet off the ground like this; she had never been so consumed. His fingers were digging into her bottom as he took her hard against the wall.

Their faces were side by side and she wanted to find his mouth, but there was no time for that as she was starting to come. Never had she climaxed so deeply, and if she were not wrapped around him she would have folded in two at the pleasure.

He released to her deep shudder and together they hit high, and finally she found his mouth, tasted the cool of his tongue as she drank in his kiss. They rested their foreheads together, sharing those last beats of pleasure and breathing the same air until gently he lowered her down.

With long slow kisses he moved them away from the wall now. She pulled down her dress and then they broke contact and she moved out of the shadows.

Victoria picked up her discarded knickers but had to lean on the ledge, not just so she could put them on, but because her legs were shaky and she was still breathless.

She had never let herself go like that, she had never come so hard and she had certainly never been made love to so thoroughly.

When Dominic emerged from the shadows he, too, was dressed, though his hair was rumpled. It should have been really awkward between them, yet it was not.

‘I look like I’ve been in a fight,’ he said as he examined his hands in the moonlight. Victoria took his fingers and looked at them, and made him smile with what she said.

‘You’re going to have some trouble explaining those injuries, Doctor,’ she teased, because it really did look, to her trained eyes, as if he had punched the walls.

Yes, it should have been really awkward but instead he came and sat beside her on the ledge.

‘Victoria...’ he started, but really he did not know what to say. Dominic was in no position to start anything. And what had just taken place was very far removed from his usual nature.

He felt amazing though, as if on the top of a high mountain.

And she saw him struggle with what to say, so she said it for him.

‘You don’t have to explain anything,’ Victoria said. She was not referring to his knuckles, but still she smiled.

‘You’re sure?’ he checked.

‘Yes.’

What had happened was something she could never have imagined, something so far removed from her usual wary approach to intimacy, but he did not need to know all of that.

She felt liberated.

And feminine.

With him she felt she had found herself.

So, instead of an awkward parting they shared a kiss that was deep, long and slow, and ended by her.

‘I’m going to go,’ Victoria said, and stood.

And still she waited for awkwardness, even as she walked to the door.

So did he, yet awkward did not exist in this room.

‘So, if you don’t like diamonds,’ Dominic called. ‘What do you like?’

And she opened the door and laughed as he went back to the original question.

‘Pearls.’

He sat in the room and looked around. The moon shone through the window and the air was still stirred and seductive from them; his knuckles were grazed and he was somewhat reeling.

Dominic had never really given pearls any thought before.

They were just something his mother or grandmother wore for weddings and such occasions.

Certainly he had never considered them sexy.

He did now.

CHAPTER FOUR

‘PREGNANT?’

Victoria watched as her father took off his glasses and cleaned them. And, as he did so, she remembered the time she had got her first period and it had been almost an identical reaction—slight bemusement, mild irritation, though more at the intrusion of conversation rather than what was actually being said.

Victoria sat in her father’s office at Riverside Hospital and waited. For what, she didn’t know.

She had read somewhere that some terrible parents made the most wonderful grandparents. That without the responsibility of parenthood, they enjoyed the experience. And she had hoped, truly hoped, that it might be the case here. That this might breathe some life into her relationship with her father.

Apparently not, if his cool reaction was anything to go by.

And Victoria knew deep down that there had been no real relationship with her father. At least, not the sort she wanted. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him since the function they had attended, despite Victoria having tried to call.

Her father was brilliant but completely self-absorbed.

Completely.

‘How far along are you?’ he asked.

It had been six weeks since her time with Dominic, and with the requisite two weeks added, Victoria knew her dates.

‘Eight weeks,’ she said.

‘Do you want it?’ Professor Christie asked.

He thought she was here to ask for a referral for an abortion, Victoria suddenly realised.

And he’d write her one, Victoria knew.

‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I very much want my baby.’

She stared at him but he was reading through some notes that lay on his desk.

‘What about the father?’ he asked, and looked up.

‘I haven’t told him yet. We’re not together or anything. He’s in Scotland.’ Victoria had heard that in passing. ‘On annual leave,’ she added to her father.

She was forewarned as to the response she might get from Dominic, when her father spoke next.

‘Well, he’s in for a pleasant surprise when he gets back.’

The sarcasm was evident in his voice and it told Victoria all she needed to know about her father’s thoughts on parenthood.

‘Victoria, you really need to give this some consideration. Being a single parent is hard work—I should know. It interferes in every aspect of your life. You’re the one who always bangs on about your career—think what it will do to that...’

She hadn’t seen him since the function and then it had been for an award for his career. Victoria didn’t bang on, as her father described it. Given he was a professor and specialised in Accident and Emergency and she was a paramedic, she had, on occasion, tried to find some common ground.

But there was none and there never had been.

There was no room in this narcissist’s world for anyone other than himself.

‘I can’t help you financially,’ he said, for Professor Christie had amassed a small collection of ex-wives.

‘I’ve never once asked you to.’

Victoria hadn’t.

She had left home as soon as she had finished school and had never asked her father for anything.

But she was about to.

She looked at her father and knew that really there was no point even being here. He did not want to be a part of her life, and the occasional public showing of his daughter was only when he was between wives.

‘Victoria, I need to get on.’

‘There is something I want...’ Victoria said, and he let out the little hiss of irritation that he always did when she asked for a moment more of his time. ‘I was hoping to have the baby at Paddington’s.’