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She chewed that full lip. “What about phone calls to quiz people? Who can I call to help me?”
He wouldn’t isolate her, but he didn’t want to make it easy for her to take off again, either. He just wanted a little time for them to cement their relationship again, to rediscover what they’d once had—and to parent the baby they’d always wanted. They needed this time to become the family he’d always imagined they could be.
“The doctor warned you to be careful and take it slow. You’ll have to ask your physicians near the beach house. Whatever they say is good by me.” It surprised him that she hadn’t asked many questions publicly at the hospital, but whatever had held her back, now that they were alone, she was more relentless about getting answers. There was an urgency and an edge to her now that she hadn’t possessed before the accident.
Or had she kept it hidden the way she’d hidden so many of her motives in the last months of their marriage?
“So you have no trouble giving me those phone numbers? If the doctor says it’s okay.” She leaned forward, resting her arms on the back of the seat as they waited at an intersection.
“No problem at all.” People would be eager to hear from her after the accident, but they’d also be busy with the holidays. And the doctor had given them no reason to think her memory would return so soon. He needed the next two weeks’ Christmas holiday with her and their son to tell her his side of the story. To see if they could make this work. Maybe, just maybe they could build that family after all. For Thomas. “Whatever you want from me, just ask. We’re married.”
Her quick gasp brushed across his neck, and her gaze met his, her eyes wide. “Whatever I want?”
The air went hot between them. Could she see the memories in his eyes? Could she sense just how damn good they had been together? How good they could still be?
There was desire and apprehension in her eyes. Her gaze broadcast loud and clear that she might not share the same memories, but she felt their connection—and it made her nervous.
He needed to proceed carefully. He hadn’t told her about their decision to divorce. He wanted the chance to convince her to stay first. He also didn’t want her asking questions that would box him into lying—or telling a hard truth. Like the fact they hadn’t slept together for a month before the accident. “I can promise you, I’m not about to demand husbandly rights or anything else from you until you’re ready.”
“That’s for the best,” she said a little too fast. “I’m not ready for—”
“You don’t need to say anything more.” He punched in the security code to open the scrolled gates that were designed like a pewter clamshell gaping wide. Christmas lights glistened on the palm trees lining the path to the yellow stucco mansion, the glimmer growing brighter with the setting sun.
“You’ve been very understanding the past week, Porter. I know this has been difficult for you, too, and I appreciate that you’ve worked to make things as easy for me as possible.”
There was a time not so long ago she’d made it clear she felt just the opposite. She’d insisted he only wanted her as a place holder in the mother role. That any woman would have done, that he didn’t really love her and that she was damn well tired of him hiding at the office to avoid facing their problems.
He kept his silence.
“What? Did I say something wrong?”
“You’ve been through a lot the past month.” They both had. He steered toward the three-story mansion perched on an ocean bluff, holiday decor in full glory of wreaths, bows and draped garland as he’d ordered. “Of course you deserve understanding. I just want you to be clear that while I’m giving you time and space to remember your past, that doesn’t mean I won’t be trying to fill your head with happy new memories.”
Her eyes went wide again. God, she was beautiful but too frail after all she’d been through. Protective urges fired to the fore. They might not be the couple they’d been before, but he needed her to make his family complete. He would do whatever it took to woo her over these next couple of weeks. And he wouldn’t let anyone stand in his way.
He put the car in Park in front of the sweeping double staircase just as the groundskeeper stepped into another car to valet park...and...
Damn. Porter felt the sucker punch clear through to his spine.
He recognized that Maserati sports car well. Heaven help them all.
His mother had come to visit.
Two (#ua6f07b32-bd1d-5b7d-b03a-32b3c2e9b10a)
Home sweet home?
Sorta.
Her eyes flitted to the sprawling house before them. Poinsettias lined the double staircase, adding Christmas spirit to the green and vibrant Florida winter. A giant wreath trimmed in gold and silver hung on the door, warm and inviting.
The warmth made her heart sink a bit. Had she picked out all of these decorations? Were they supposed to carry some sentimental value? She had been with Porter for almost five years. They owned years’ worth of memories and items they had collected—and all of it was a mystery to her. Taking a deep breath, she turned her attention to Thomas and his monogrammed blanket.
As she unbuckled the baby from his car seat, Alaina couldn’t miss the tension radiating from Porter. Of course he’d been under a tremendous stress, too, during this whole situation. He had just been so stalwart until now; she was surprised he let his emotions show.
Even if he’d opened up only briefly before he became the ultimate in-control guy again. Was that an act just for her? Was that how she’d preferred him to be? She’d liked seeing the emotion on his face, in his eyes. The controlled expression he wore now seemed to shut her out.
She cradled the sleeping infant in her arms, taking comfort from the scent of baby shampoo and innocence. She didn’t remember becoming a wife or a mother. She didn’t feel like a wife or a mother.
But she knew without question she would do whatever was needed to make sure this innocent life in her care felt loved and secure.
Porter opened the back door of the car, the setting sun casting a nimbus around his big body, which blocked out the rest of the world. God, he was a gorgeous hulk of man. She could see him in a painting of Atlas holding the world on those broad shoulders. He made her feel safe, protected. She could lean on him.
He propped a hand on the roof. “Are you feeling steady enough to carry the baby?”
“I’m fine, but thank you for asking.” She stepped out, her hold careful on Thomas.
Porter cupped her elbow in a steadying grasp, his touch warm and gentle, sending tingles through her. She glanced at him quickly. Did he feel it, too? What was he thinking? He had to want his wife back. She wanted that for him, but even so, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off between them. She couldn’t miss how he only answered what was needed, never offering one snippet more. And his shoulders seemed so braced, tense. Where was the joy in this homecoming?
She straightened and adjusted her hold on the baby. “Thank you. I really am okay to walk on my own.”
It was strange how she’d been in a coma for a month and yet her body acted as if she’d simply taken a long nap. She’d spent a week doing physical therapy and eating high-nutrient meals to regain strength in her muscles. Other than tiring quickly, she felt no ill effects from her ordeal. At least not physically. How surreal.
“I’ll get the car seat and diaper bag, then.” He reached to lift them out, the navy blue Burberry bag looking tiny and incongruous in his large hands. “Before we step inside, I should warn you.”
Foreboding gelled in her belly. Here it came. Whatever awful thing she’d feared her amnesia had been hiding from her. “Warn me about what?”
“My mother’s here,” he said with a heavy sigh.
She almost laughed in hysterical relief. She walked beside him toward the towering doors, inhaling a bracing breath of salty ocean breeze. “Your mom?” If he had a mother, why hadn’t she come to the hospital? That seemed strange. She hadn’t thought to question him about his family in the hospital since her memories stopped just before her relationship with Porter began. “You have a mother?”
“I wasn’t born under a rock,” he said with a sense of humor that still surprised her.
Another intriguing element to this man.
Chewing her bottom lip, Alaina eyed the door with trepidation. The gold and silver of the wreath caught in the amber sunset. “I wish you would have mentioned her arrival before now.”
“I didn’t know she was coming until I saw her car as we pulled up. It’s very distinctive.”
“Is your father here, too?”
“If so, that would be an even bigger surprise since I’ve never met the man.”
“Oh, um, I’m sorry.” Another thing about her husband she should have known.
“Thank you, but I’m long past looking for father figures around every corner. I’m looking forward to being a father.” He reached to lift out the infant seat. “Let’s go find out what coerced my mother to drive up from Miami.”
Something about the way he said that made her sad, reminding her again of all the ways this should have been a happy day for him. His family was returning home from the hospital in good health. But she again felt that their life together—whatever it was now—couldn’t be summed up that easily.
She wanted to trust him.
But something deep inside her, something beyond memory and born of instinct, held her back.
* * *
Luckily for him, his mother had been settling into her suite when he and Alaina brought Thomas into the house. His wife was in the nursery with their son now, which would give him a chance to talk to his mother alone first in his study. She needed to understand that he would toss her out on Christmas Day itself if she did one thing to upset this chance he had to win back his wife and keep his family intact.
He paced restlessly, his eyes drawn to the brass clock on his desk. What the hell was taking his mother so long? This wasn’t the best of times for unexpected company, damn it.
Wooing Alaina back into his life and into his bed was going to be tough enough without having his mother throw verbal land mines into the mix with no warning. Courtney Rutger was a shark in the courtroom and in life. Their relationship had been strained since he’d walked out at eighteen and put himself through college working construction rather than take her money.
There were too many strings attached to his mother’s gifts. The extravagant presents had clearly made Alaina uncomfortable given her less affluent upbringing and he couldn’t blame her. Still, he’d never been quite sure how to navigate the tense waters between his mother and wife.
Finally, she glided into his study in a swirl of expensive perfume and one of her favored fitted Chanel suits. She leaned toward him for an air kiss on the cheek. “Porter.”
He complied, as expected, wondering if she’d ever carried him around the way Alaina cradled Thomas. Making real contact, rather than an air kiss or half hug.
“Mom,” he answered, angling away and leaning against his desk. “Why are you here?”
“To celebrate Christmas, and to help you with your new baby and your wife.”
Help now? He wasn’t buying it. His mother had visited only on holidays during his marriage, and she hadn’t done more than come to the hospital the day after the accident. She’d seen her grandson, brought some gifts and flowers and left. She sure as hell hadn’t cooed over her grandchild, much less snapped photos on her cell phone to share with her pals. “You’ve never been interested in babies before.”
“I’ve never been a grandmother before.”
“Mother...” He raised an eyebrow impatiently.
“Son,” she answered with overplayed innocence.
“Is that what you’re about? I’m your son. I know you. And you’re not going to cause mother-in-law troubles.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, Mother, please. You’ve made it clear for years that you don’t like Alaina.” The friction between his wife and mother, which had grown over time, had added pressure to an already strained marriage. “She’s working to regain her memory and the last thing she needs is you tossing in digs or telling her things she’s not ready to hear. She needs to be kept calm and happy while she recovers. She should remember the happy times first.”
His gaze gravitated to the framed reproduction of a map of the Florida East Coast Railway from the Flagler Museum, an anniversary gift from Alaina two years ago. She’d respected his work, complimented him on being an artist in his own right through his construction company. She’d bought the gift in commemoration of another Florida builder/entrepreneur from the past.
Some people went on cruises for vacation. He and Alaina had spent their time off touring historic sites and discussing the architectural history of the buildings.
There had been good times between them... God, he missed what they’d once had.
And now he had a second chance. He wouldn’t let anything or anyone stand in his way of repairing his relationship with Alaina. Of building a family together. It was too important.
“Your wife is ill now. I understand that and will be nice. If you’re not ready for her to hear about the ‘bad memories,’ then okay. I’m here for all three of you.” Courtney clicked her manicured nails. “I do have a heart.”
She placed her hand dramatically on her chest, and gave a picture-perfect smile. It was with just such finesse that Courtney Rutger won over jury after jury—if not her son.
His mouth twitched with a smile. “That’s questionable.”
“And you’re just like me.” She winked. “Makes a mother proud.”
He shook his head. “You’re something else.”
“That’s one way to put it.” She clapped her hands together. “Now where’s my grandson?”
“He’s getting his diaper changed.”
Frowning, she smoothed back her French twist, her dark hair showing only a few threads of gray. “Then I’ll wait a couple of minutes until he’s through with that.” She hesitated, shrugging. “What? I like to watch babies nap.”
“Since when?”
“Since always. They’re easier then.” She grinned unrepentantly. “Now smile. It’s the Christmas season. Your family is under one roof. And I certainly wouldn’t have wagered a chance in hell on that happening this year.”
Neither would he.
A creak of the door snapped his attention across the room. Alaina stood in the doorway frowning. Damn it. How much had she heard? Had his mother’s strategic verbal land mines already blown his second chance all to hell? Courtney might have said she intended to respect his wishes, but he wasn’t 100 percent certain she wouldn’t try to find some way to finagle her way past on a technicality.
“Alaina?” he asked, waving her inside.
She stepped deeper into the room. “Please introduce me to your mother.” She tugged a Christmas plaid burp cloth off the shoulder of her blue cotton dress that skimmed her curves. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you, ma’am, but you’re right. We’re all lucky to be here together since I very well could have still been in that hospital bed. Or not here at all.”
He exhaled hard, grateful she’d misunderstood his mother’s comment. But he couldn’t count on continued luck. He needed to make progress with his wife and get his family back. The sooner the better.
* * *
Two hours later, Alaina opened the closet in her bedroom. Hers and Porter’s.
The space was larger than her first college studio apartment.
One side was lined with rows of Porter’s clothes, suits and casual wear, each piece hung and arranged with precision, even down to sleeve length. She walked along the row, her fingers trailing the different textures. She could almost imagine the cloth still carried the heat of the man who wore them.
A half wall sectioned the male and female side of the “closet.” Shoes fit into nooks, purses, too. And somehow she knew to push the button on the end—jewelry trays slid out in staggered lengths and heights. The stones that winked at her varied from semiprecious to mind-bogglingly expensive.
Who was she now? In this life? This house with an apartment-sized closet?
Even that thought gave her pause, reminding her that she hadn’t grown up with finer things like the ones in this house. How comfortable had she been living here? Had she grown jaded and used to these luxuries?
Glancing back at the elegant driftwood four-poster bed, she began to seriously consider their arrangements as they became reacquainted. He’d said he wouldn’t pressure her and she hoped he meant that. He couldn’t possibly think they would be sharing a bed. Not yet. In spite of the attraction that still simmered between them, she wasn’t ready for intimacy just now.
But someday?
She could barely envision getting through the night, much less through the next few weeks. She turned to the closet again and studied the racks of clothes and rows of shoes and purses and her clothes as if they could give her some hint about the woman she’d been in those missing five years. Certainly one who enjoyed shopping and bright patterns. Grasping at the clothes, she enjoyed the cool feel of the silks and satins. This closet was luxurious—the kind women might fantasize about. Alaina half hoped one of these garments would stir a memory, and the past five years of her life would come rushing back to her.
No such luck.
She released a floor-length gown with a jeweled bodice and glanced down at the simple cotton dress she wore, so different from the rest of her clothes. Had Porter packed this for a reason or had he simply grabbed the first item his hands fell on?
The cotton dress didn’t feel like the artsy sense of herself she remembered from five years ago. In fact, the house didn’t much reflect her, either. Where was her love of Renaissance art? There were no paintings or statues she would have chosen. Everything was generic, decorator style, matching sets. Had she really spent time here? Been happy?
