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TAPPING THE WALL impatiently, Mason waited for Lisa to come out of her mother’s room. The old need to protect her welled up in him, making him restless. He was very conscious of the fact that they were no longer involved, yet seeing Lisa’s anxiety over meeting her mother had bothered him more than he’d expected.
As he stood there, he wondered how they’d ever ended up together. Before he’d met her, he’d boasted to his buddies that there wasn’t a woman alive who could hold him, which was the truth—until the day he stood across the gurney from Lisa, the emergency room nurse caring for his mother, who’d broken her arm.
For the first time, he’d found himself speechless with a woman. And he hadn’t the faintest clue why, except that her eyes seemed to look directly into his soul.
But all of that was ancient history now.
Still, as he continued to wait, he had mixed feelings about how easily he’d been drawn back into her life.
He and Lisa had had little contact in the years since their breakup. He’d met Sara on a blind date and started a relationship in which he’d confused caring with love. When Sara had told him that she was pregnant, he’d married her, but they’d both realized quickly it was a mistake. The marriage had ended a short time later by mutual agreement. A year ago he’d made another impetuous decision, leaving the police force and joining what had turned out to be a financially beleaguered private investigation firm. The company was solely under his name now, and he was starting to get it back on its feet—but only just.
While Lisa was living her life to a precise formula, he’d been making rash and ultimately misguided decisions. Not that his son was a mistake in any sense of the word. His love for Peter was the reason he’d been rethinking his own life, even before tackling this case. His love for Peter had opened his eyes to the dangers of being a police officer, and his hours didn’t provide the kind of flexibility he needed to be the kind of father he wanted to be. Although he was passionate about his job, being there for Peter was more important.
The day Sara had told him about the talent agent coming to her concert he had been shocked and unprepared for the rush of emotion, especially the fear that he might lose his son. How would he ever manage without Peter? How would Peter adjust to leaving his family—grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins?
He couldn’t see himself in L.A., and he didn’t feel it was a place to raise Peter. But if he didn’t move near Sara, his time with Peter would be made up of short visits and lots of travel. Sara and he had joint custody, which worked well for both of them and provided Peter with as much stability as possible. He couldn’t imagine being without Peter, the everyday contact, the love that overwhelmed him whenever his son smiled.
He wanted to be an involved father, and that meant living close to his son.
Should he consider going to L.A.? It wasn’t his idea of paradise, but did he have a choice?
His parents would be devastated. Peter spent many happy hours visiting his grandparents and playing with his cousins.
Thinking about his son reminded him of Lisa and what she was going through. Considering how important today was for Lisa, he’d told her his being here was for old times’ sake, and that was part of it.
Only seeing her in Tank’s office and again today, he felt the old attraction drawing him into her life, reminding him how good their love had been. No other woman had made him want to be near her every moment the way Lisa had. Lisa’s welcoming arms made everything seem right.
Yet in a fit of anger and wounded pride, he’d hurt her that night in the restaurant. He’d walked out and never tried to make amends. What an idiot he’d been!
He realized how hard it must have been for her that day in Tank’s office. She’d just learned about her birth mother, and then was forced to accept the help of a man who had been responsible for so much pain in her life. And still, despite all of their history and their differences, she’d graciously accepted his assistance.
A rustling sound made him turn. Lisa came toward him, her face tense, her shoulders hunched against some unseen force.
“Would a friendly shoulder be in order?” he asked, searching her face for the source of her agony.
“A shoulder would be nice,” she said, a catch in her voice.
He held out his arms, and she stepped into them as if she’d never stopped doing it.
“I met her. I met my mother,” she said, her body trembling.
He cradled her gently. “What’s she like?”
“She’s been in a wheelchair for years. She’s so frail and alone, so in need of care and attention,” she whispered.
He glanced down at her. “Is that your nursing assessment?” he asked.
“Yeah, partly.” She gave him the faintest of smiles. “But, Mason, she’s had such a hard life, so many things have gone wrong for her, things she couldn’t control. I can’t imagine how it would feel to give up a child…to fear the future. All these years my mother loved me enough to offer me a better life, to put me first.”
“But you’ve found her now. You can make a difference.”
Her arms tightened around him. “Yes, and I’ve got plans for Mom—I want her to come live with me. There’s so much I can do for her if I bring her to Durham. She needs an aggressive physiotherapy program, and I can organize and oversee that better if she lives there. And on top of that, I have a sister…finally, and she needs me. I have a sister. It doesn’t seem possible.”
Surprised and pleased for her, Mason was glad he’d been here when she’d found her family. “Lisa, that’s wonderful. You’ve waited so long to find your mother, and now a sister. How different your life will be from here on.”
“Yeah, it is wonderful, and strange at the same time.”
They stood there in the hallway holding each other the way they used to, and Mason was acutely aware of how right it felt to him.
She must have felt it, too, because the old Lisa reasserted herself. Suddenly she pulled out of his arms. Tucking long strands of her blond hair behind her ears, she fixed him with an anxious look.
“My sister’s name is Anne Marie Lewis. She’s five years older than me. It’s so strange…to be needed, to be the one who can truly change someone’s future. All my life my parents pampered me and loved me while my own family was left to struggle with so much less. If only I’d known… I’ve got to find Anne Marie. She’s in trouble.”
Mason recognized that look of exhaustion in Lisa’s eyes. He’d seen it many times when he’d arrive at her apartment after her evening shift in Emergency. Lisa was feeling stressed, and who wouldn’t be after what she’d been through?
“Why don’t we get you checked in and something to eat first, and then you can tell me about your mother and your sister.”
AN HOUR LATER, Lisa followed Mason down the hotel corridor without paying much attention to her surroundings. On the drive here from the nursing home, all she could think about were her mother’s parting words.
How could Anne Marie have ended up in jail? Her mother hadn’t said any more, and Lisa had been too shocked to ask. Afraid she couldn’t cope with the situation, she’d practically run from the room.
Yet those few minutes with her mother had changed her life forever.
She had finally met the woman who gave birth to her. The one person who could tell her who she was, where she came from. Although she’d been nervous about meeting her mother, her fears had all been washed away in those first moments with Carolyn Lewis.
Instead of a woman with a dark secret as she’d feared, her mother was a woman who’d had the strength to survive in the face of difficulties that would have discouraged and demoralized a lesser person.
And now after years of wondering, Lisa would have a chance to learn all about her family. In the meantime, her mother and her sister needed her, and she’d be there for them.
She’d never had to take charge of a family situation before. But her family was desperate for help, and she was the only one who could provide it.
These feelings were as foreign as the world she found herself in—her mother unable to care for herself, her sister in jail.
As they arrived at the room Mason had booked for her, he opened the door, then put her suitcase down inside. He gave her a quick, assessing glance.
She couldn’t meet his eyes because she couldn’t let him in on what she was planning. If she did, he’d be determined to give her advice, make his opinions known. But tonight she could only deal with her own feelings. Now that she’d found her family, one thing was clear. She would help them, whatever it took.
“What’s running through your head?” he asked.
“What do you mean?” she responded, feeling guilty for ignoring Mason since they’d left the nursing home. She’d spent her time in the car staring out the window, her heart in turmoil.
She hadn’t told Mason very much about her visit with Carolyn. He hadn’t pushed her for more, al though she knew the cop in him wanted to ask.
“Look at me.”
Lisa was vaguely aware of the old attraction stirring between them as their eyes met. The rise and fall of his chest as he held her gaze told her he felt it, too.
“I’m going to order dinner for us. Fried chicken, Caesar salad and baked potato for you.”
She was grateful, not only that he remembered her favorite meal, but that he was willing to assume responsibility for her comfort.
Yet she dared not say that to him. Doing so would bring back old memories of better times.
She couldn’t let herself think of what might have been. Finding her mother had already filled her with regret. All the moments they’d missed, moments of being together, sharing their lives. “That’s so kind of you.”
“What are friends for?” He grinned the familiar grin she remembered so well.
“You should have a hot bath, something to eat and go to bed before you fall asleep standing up.”
“Sounds heavenly, but I have to make a call first.”
“Why?”
“There’s something I haven’t told you about my sister… She’s in jail,” Lisa said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, her energy suddenly spent and her mind weary with everything she’d seen and heard in the past hours.
“What has she been charged with?”
“I have no idea. Sorry for springing this on you, but so much has changed.”
He knelt down in front of Lisa, taking her hands in his warm grip, his smile uneasy. His touch brought forward long-buried memories of other times he’d knelt like this, his eyes filled with desire.
Resisting the urge to follow the memories, her body tensed.
“Which jail?” he asked, his voice calm and reassuring.
Oh, how she needed his calm approach! “I have no idea.”
“But you’d like to see her while you’re here.”
“Yes, as soon as possible.”
“You’ll have to wait until tomorrow at the earliest.”
She nodded. “I’ll feel much better once I’ve talked to her,” she murmured.
“Maybe. Maybe not. But I’ll make some inquiries first thing in the morning…try to determine where she is and if you can visit her,” he said, his doubtful tone raising her determination.
He clearly didn’t understand her feeling of urgency, but if he was going to help her, she had to make him understand.
“Mason, you’ve known all along how my parents behaved when I asked about my biological family. Every time I’d ask questions, I’d end up wishing I hadn’t.”
“Maybe they had good reasons. Think about it. Your parents were kind people who loved you.”
“And I didn’t have the courage to insist that I be allowed to look into my past. I let my parents keep me from my family all those years when I could’ve gotten to know them. And even as an adult, I didn’t go looking for any of my birth family. It was a mistake, and I have to take full responsibility for not searching. I want…no, I need to do everything I can for them.”
“Lisa, I can see how this has affected you, but don’t make any decisions right now. You’ve had a long drive and an emotionally exhausting experience. You should get a handle on the situation before you do anything.”
“My sister’s in jail. What other information do I need?”
“You’re not listening,” he said, his voice edgy. “You don’t have any knowledge of Anne Marie Lewis or her past. What if she’s a hardened criminal? What if she doesn’t want to meet you? What if seeing her puts you at risk—”
“After all the times you accused me of not being a risk-taker, now you’re telling me that visiting my sister could be dangerous. What right—”
“Lisa, let’s not bring our past into this.”
“How can I not? Our past is always between us,” she responded, wishing she could ease the anxiety roaring through her.
But his question had made her wonder. Was she actually ready to visit her sister in jail? One minute she was and the next she wasn’t.
“Well, we can’t do anything about it at this hour,” he said, glancing at his watch as he stood. He started for the door, stopped and turned back. “Do you want me to order food now, or what?”
She wanted him to hold her the way he’d done at the nursing home. She wanted to feel safe and secure. Sure in the belief that all of this would work out for the best.
Was she hoping for the impossible? Maybe. “Would you do me a favor? Could you try to find out tonight where she is and when I can see her?”
“Even if she’s in the local jail, it’s unlikely you could get in on such short notice. That is, if she’s willing to see you,” he muttered.
Lisa took a deep breath to ease the tension snapping through her and felt the flush of exhaustion as it laid claim to her limbs.
As much as she hated to admit it, Mason had a point—at least about the timing—but she refused to consider that Anne Marie might not want to see her. “I’d call myself if I thought they’d listen to me.” She gave him a weary smile. “They’ll listen to you, though.”
His expression relaxed as he tapped his fingers on the door. “I’ll order our food, make a couple of inquiries. I’ll be back here as soon as I can,” he said, opening the door.
“Mason, thank you for everything.”
“Including the argument?”
“Yes,” she sighed, relieved to see a real smile on his face.
“I’ll be back,” he said, closing the door behind him as he left.
Even with Mason gone from the room, his scent lingered, sparking memories of their first trip to New York and the carriage ride through Central Park, his arm protectively around her shoulders as the carriage moved beneath the canopy provided by the trees, the kiss they shared as the driver snapped their picture. She had kept that photo to remind her of that unforgettable evening.
He was her first love, and she’d been totally infatuated. After their breakup, she’d dated the new pediatric oncologist at the hospital, which was a disaster.
Since then, she’d concentrated on her career and developing her skills as a pediatric nurse.
Anything but face the very real possibility that she might never get another chance to put things right with Mason—whether that meant getting back together or becoming friends. Either way, she was at least partly responsible for how their relationship had ended.
A COUPLE OF HOURS later after several phone calls—including one to Peter to say goodnight—Mason sat across from Lisa at the tiny table in her room. The sky outside blazed with the golden pink of the setting sun.
Mason noted Lisa’s excited behavior, her animated conversation, her plans for moving her mother to Durham, and all the while he was relieved that she hadn’t asked about his phone call to the Indian River jail.
Worried about what he had to tell her, he’d decided not to say a word unless she brought it up.
Lisa could be very stubborn, and for his money, she was on a wild-goose chase, but he didn’t want her to get hurt. He hadn’t had much opportunity to show how sorry he was for walking out on her—thanks to the way his life and hers had split apart—but he wished he could redo parts of his past.
Sitting so close—the scent of her reaching out to him—triggered an expectation… Of what, he wasn’t certain.
