скачать книгу бесплатно
Oh shit, is this awkward? Someone needs to say something.
‘You guys were awesome tonight,’ I tell him as the rest of the gang go back to their conversation.
‘Thank you,’ he says before pulling me close and whispering softly into my ear. ‘I think you and I need a conversation tonight, don’t you, Nicole?’
In my flat boots (which do not go with my dress at all) I have to lift myself up onto my tiptoes to whisper back to him, ‘That all depends on what you want to talk about, Luke.’ Now it’s my turn to sound flirtatious. Before he can reply, I am dragged back to the other conversation by the band’s tour manager who has now joined us. I was far too wrapped up in Luke to notice. Mick the tour manager hands me my laminated Access All Areas pass so that I can get in and out of venues without needing to be on the guest list or with a band member.
As we’re all stood chatting, I take the opportunity to think over what just happened with Luke. ‘We need a conversation’ doesn’t really mean anything, does it? No matter how flirty he was acting when he said it. I am snapped out of my thoughts by Eddie, who asks me something about the magazine. As I am answering, I feel Luke’s hand moving slowly down my back before resting softly on my bum. I’m trying to give Eddie an answer, but I feel like everyone can see it on my face, and I’m sure my cheeks are flushing again. My face cheeks that is.
Just as I start to relax, the band are called away to do some photos. Time for some more Dutch courage.
Gemma and I knock back a few more drinks as we watch the band chat to fans, pose for photographs and sign autographs.
Eddie is surrounded by girls, as always, and Luke and Mark have a fairly big crowd around them too, but Ben is sat to the side texting away on his mobile, probably to his girlfriend. It must be strange for him to go from being an unknown guitarist to being in a band like TFTR. I think he’s handled himself really well though. It’s great that he’s still with his girlfriend, especially considering the attitude towards women that the rest of the band seem to share. Having said that, Eddie has had several girlfriends, it’s just that unfortunately they have all been other people’s girlfriends.
I see Luke walking over, so I jump up from my stool, but the alcohol doesn’t seem to want me to and I stumble straight into him. He catches me and asks Gemma how many I’ve had.
‘Enough,’ I interrupt and I’m pretty sure I just winked.
‘We’re going to some club down the road, are you ready to go, babe?’ he asks, and I nod.
Gemma has work in the morning so she has to go. I drunkenly see her to a taxi and wave her off. I am caught by a pair of hands on my waist again, although they’re not quite as gentle this time. I turn around and see Mark, the sleazy bassist, and he looks like he’s had quite a bit to drink as well. I call him sleazy because, like the Plastic Rap boys, Mark has always had an eye for the younger ladies. Luke and I call him the torpedo, which Mark thinks is a pretty badass nickname, but what we’re actually calling him is the tour-paedo.
‘Nicole! Let’s go, we’re going to party!’ he slurs, his breath stinking of cider, as he grabs me by the arm. I’m not entirely sure who is holding up whom but he is stuck to me like glue all the way to the club. I don’t even get to talk to Luke on the way there. I’m going to have to up my game.
Chapter Eight (#ulink_9fd7bff4-22b0-5595-be1f-7cb425f22c77)
The Mix-up
Once we’re inside the club, everyone heads straight over to the bar and Mark pushes a bottle of something colourful and alcoholic into my hand, which I happily accept. He is attempting to make small talk with me, but I am too drunk to focus on a word he is saying.
Luke walks over to us and grabs my hand.
‘May I have this dance, Miss Wilde?’ he asks.
The DJ is blasting out pop music – they’d never play a band like TFTR in a place like this, which is probably why we’re here.
I am dancing without a care in the world thanks to the alcohol, and although it’s a fast song Luke pulls me close and stares into my eyes. There’s something about him that makes you feel like the most important person in the world when you have his attention and it’s making me feel all funny inside. Either that or it’s all the booze combined with the fast movements.
The music is too loud to talk so we just dance, and after what feels like hours of shamelessly flirting through movement Luke pulls me close and tells me he’ll be right back. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and disappears into the crowd.
I decide to try and find the other boys, rather than stand here dancing on my own. I spy Ben sitting on his own, still messing around with that bloody phone, and then I spot Eddie and Mark who are lining up shot glasses on the bar and filling them with something I can’t quite make out. Noticing me, Eddie calls me over.
‘Just in time, would the lady care for a shot?’ he asks.
‘Oh, I think I’ll give this round a miss, boys. I’m starting to sober up.’
‘Well it’s only 1 a.m., so we can’t have that,’ Mark insists as he pushes the tiny glass into my hand.
‘Why not, eh?’ I never did have much willpower, which is probably why I go on to drink another three. Any chance I had of sobering up is long gone.
‘Let’s dance!’ Mark shouts as he drags me to the dance floor. I don’t want to offend him but I’d rather go and look for Luke. I wonder where he’s got to.
Not wanting to hurt Mark’s feelings, I go along with it. Dancing with Mark is very different, he dances like a drunken maniac although that is probably because he is one. He is spinning me around, dipping me – I’m feeling very sick but I have to admit that I’m having such a good time. Maybe I’m misreading the signs, but I could swear Mark is flirting with me. Some of his dance moves are a bit raunchy and his hands are all over me. If I were perfectly sober, I’d probably be worried that people could see.
There’s still no sign of Luke and before I know it, Mark is dragging me to the bar for last orders where we have yet more to drink. I’m officially drunk, although not quite as drunk as Eddie, who throws his arms around me and tells me how much he loves me, licking my face before falling to the floor. At this point Luke reappears.
‘All right, Nic? You look a bit tipsy, babe,’ he says with a chuckle.
‘Whaaat? I’m fine,’ I protest, never one to admit that I’m drunk out loud.
‘Well Ed certainly isn’t, so we’re going to get a taxi back to the bus.’
He and Ben grab one of Eddie’s arms each and carry him outside. Feeling a bit unsteady on my feet, I lean against the bar.
‘We’ll see you outside,’ he calls back.
‘Don’t worry, mate. I’ll take good care of her,’ Mark calls after him, grabbing hold of my hand as we follow them out.
Standing around waiting for the taxi, my body starts to shake. I can’t really feel the cold but I must be freezing. Mark gallantly slips an arm around me and rubs my shoulders, so maybe he does have a sweet side after all.
Luke looks over at us and gives me a concerned look, is he getting jealous?
‘You two look cosy,’ Luke calls over.
‘Poor little thing is freezing,’ Mark tells him.
‘Yeah, it is a bit chilly out here,’ he replies, equally as cold. He gives me a strange look but then his gaze is redirected to my ear.
‘Nicole, you’ve got an earring missing.’
I put both hands up to the sides of my head and he’s right.
‘Shit, it must have come out when I was dancing, do you think they’ll let me back in to look for it?’ I slur as I wobble on my feet. I’m really regretting that last drink. I can’t think straight and I can’t walk straight. As I head towards the club, the taxi pulls up and Ben begins trying to squash Eddie inside.
‘I can only take four of you,’ the taxi driver calls out, noticing that there are five of us.
‘Don’t worry, mate,’ Mark calls back. ‘Luke, I’ll take Nicole back in for her earring and then we’ll walk back. It’s not far and we’re not that drunk, right, Nic?’
‘Right, Mark!’ I give Luke a thumbs-up – clearly not the actions of a sober girl. Luke reluctantly gets in the taxi and they drive off, leaving me drunk and alone with sleazy Mark, the tour-paedo.
‘Are we going to get my earring?’ I ask, actually remembering something that happened in the past ten minutes.
‘Yes we are,’ he says as he bends over and picks my earring up from the floor. ‘Oh look, there it is. I must have been standing on it.’
My few remaining sober thoughts are telling me that maybe something is up here.
‘Shall we get back to the bus then?’ he asks, grabbing my hand and dragging me in what I assume is the right direction.
I don’t know what time it is, but it must be after 3 a.m. as we make our way down the eerily quiet streets of Manchester.
‘I think Luke reckons he’s in there with you, he’s probably waiting for you on the bus with his jeans around his ankles,’ Mark informs me, like it’s a done deal.
I laugh and shrug my shoulders. It’s nothing to do with him, is it?
‘We could always stay out for a bit,’ he suggests.
‘And go where? Everywhere is closed!’
‘Not everywhere,’ he says, leading me down a dark alleyway, and before I have time to take in exactly what is going on, Mark is pushing me up against the wall and kissing me hard on the lips.
As we kiss I open my eyes and take in our surroundings. This particular part of the city is practically silent and it’s too dark to see anything, but I know we must be near some bins because they are all I can smell. Mark’s horrible beard (think Brad Pitt, circa 2009) is rubbing against my face, making it itch, and I can feel him carelessly tugging at my clothes. At that moment an ambulance goes flying past, illuminating the alley with its bright-blue lights and making me jump with its loud siren. What the hell am I doing here? I don’t fancy this guy – bloody hell, I don’t even like this guy most of the time. My vodka goggles are abruptly ripped from my face and I push Mark away.
‘What’s the matter?’ he asks breathlessly.
‘We’d better get back to the bus. They’re going to wonder where we are,’ I insist, but he’s having none of it, grabbing my hips and moving closer, squashing me against the wall.
‘They won’t give a shit. Come on, just relax!’
I can’t relax because I really don’t want to do this.
‘Someone might see us,’ I say, wriggling free from his grasp and making my way back towards the street.
‘Nicole, come on,’ he calls after me, but I keep walking and eventually he follows me. We walk the rest of the way in silence.
Finally through the bus doors safe and sound, I make my way up the stairs to the living area and realise everyone is already in their bunk – apart from Luke. He’s sitting on the sofa, probably waiting for me.
‘You guys took a while, is everything OK?’ he asks, sounding concerned.
‘Everything is great, man,’ Mark tells him, giving him a wink that we all know the meaning of. Oh God, I want to curl up and die! I’m fairly sure getting it on with one of his band friends is not the way to his heart.
‘Oh, right,’ Luke replies. ‘Well, I’m going to get to bed. Night, mate,’ he says giving Mark a pat on the shoulder. And then he looks at me. His eyes look so red and tired. ‘Night, Nicole,’ he says, walking off towards the bunks without waiting for a reply.
‘Night,’ I call after him, but it’s too late. I’ve really blown it this time. All I want to do is get in my bunk and pray that everything will be OK in the morning when we’re all sober. What happened with Mark was nothing really, a few seconds of madness, or was it minutes? I have no idea.
Mark stands up and, presuming he’s going to his bunk, I stand up too. He puts his hand on my shoulder and pushes me back down.
‘I’m going for a piss, don’t go to sleep. I’ll be back in a minute. We’ve got unfinished business.’
He walks off towards the toilet. Now I really do feel sick. There’s isn’t even a hint of sexiness in his request and I don’t even want to be near him, let alone anything else. So I do what any girl would do in my situation, I fake it. I lie down on the sofa, shut my eyes and pretend to be asleep. I hear him come back and loudly whisper my name a couple of times to try and wake me, but I keep my eyes tightly closed and eventually he gives up and goes off to his bunk. Too scared to move in case he hears me, I pretend to be asleep on the uncomfortable sofa until tiredness takes over and I fall asleep for real.
Chapter Nine (#ulink_ca8e3015-3293-53ff-a2b4-36ab65969435)
The Morning After the Night Before
Oh my God, I feel terrible. I’ve got such a headache and I’m too scared to open my eyes properly in case the light makes it worse. The events of last night are bouncing around in my head, which is probably contributing towards my headache. How could I have been so stupid? Mark might have masterminded a pretty decent plan to get me alone, but I didn’t have to go along with it. Yes, I was drunk enough to get caught up in things, but unfortunately I wasn’t quite drunk enough to forget what happened. But nothing did happen really, did it? It was just a silly kiss. I kiss people all the time – although, not everyone I kiss tries to remove my underwear in the street.
I open my eyes ever so slowly and stare at the ceiling for a second, giving them chance to adjust. The bus is silent so I assume everyone else is asleep. Rolling onto my side I see that Luke is sitting on the opposite side of the sofa, in the exact same place he was last night. He’s staring at me and his face is totally expressionless. I must look terrible, not only did I have such an awkward, uncomfortable night but I didn’t take my make-up off and you can guarantee my post-club hair will be a frizzy mess.
‘Good morning,’ I say weakly.
‘Hello,’ he replies. ‘Rough night?’
‘Something like that...what time is it?’
‘8 a.m. Want to go get a coffee?’ he asks in an unusually blunt manner.
‘Yeah, sure. I’ll just smarten myself up,’ I reply shyly. I really didn’t want him to see me like this.
‘OK. I’m going outside for a smoke, I’ll see you in a minute.’ And with that, he’s gone.
As I slowly sit up, I take in my surroundings. The living area is just as messy as I am. Empty cans and bottles are littered all over the place, there’s the odd junk food wrapper and cigarette packets scattered around and I am being over powered by two smells – Lynx and sweat. Unfortunately the latter scent is the stronger one.
Grabbing my bag, I make my way to the tiny bus toilet. It’s impossible not to feel claustrophobic in these bathrooms, there’s barely enough standing room for one person. The small space consists of a toilet, a small sink and a shower head, none of which are very easy to use, even when the bus is stationary. I catch sight of myself in the dirty mirror and, just as I suspected, I have make-up all over my face and a hairstyle that would be more at home in the 80s. Thankfully my face wipes are in the bag that I actually remembered, although unfortunately I don’t have a hairbrush or any clean clothes with me.
Winding my long blonde hair into a bun on the top of my head, I begin wiping off my make-up – only to start reapplying it seconds later. With my hair looking crap, I make the decision to wear even more make-up to compensate. Standing back to take in my appearance in the tiny mirror, I can only conclude that I look like a groupie. My hair is messed up, my make-up is over the top and I’m still wearing my gig outfit – or maybe I just feel like a groupie after last night.
I am distracted from my thoughts by a noise from my phone. Taking it out of my bag I realise it is the low battery alert and guess what? I packed my charger in the bag I left at home. Now I’m feeling seriously out of my comfort zone. I’m horribly hungover, I look a complete state, I’m going to have to face both Mark and Luke today and to top it all off my only form of contact with the ‘real world’ will be cut off when my phone dies, which I’m guessing is going to be sooner rather than later.
As I leave the bathroom and make my way past the bunks, I can hear girls giggling, but I don’t remember seeing any girls last night when we left the club. Maybe they found their way on to the bus while Mark and I made our detour.
As I pass Eddie’s bunk, a girl climbs out and, looking at the state of her, I start to feel slightly better about the way I look this morning. She is definitely still drunk, her clothes are hanging off and she’s looking at me like I’ve just fallen out of a tree. She actually looks like she has just fallen out of a tree.
‘Becky,’ she calls, looking at me but failing to acknowledge the fact that I am standing there and that she is blocking my path. Becky sticks her head out of the bottom bunk which, as far as I remember, is Ben’s bunk, but he must be in one of the spares because, as we all know, Ben has a girlfriend and he doesn’t stop texting her for long enough to even talk to another girl. Becky looks equally as rough as her friend so I’m quite happy to walk off the bus after them, they can only make me look better. Neither girl speaks to me until we get to the bus door, which neither of them can work out how to open.
‘How the fuck does this open?’ Becky asks me politely. I don’t say anything, I just reach forward and open the door. Becky and her friend fall about laughing and hop off the bus. As they walk past Luke, they both say ‘Bye, Luke’ in unison, laughing hysterically as they stagger off.
‘Bye, girls,’ he says and then turns towards me. ‘They weren’t with me you know.’
‘No judgement from me,’ I tell him, holding up my hands. I’m hardly in a position to say anything, am I? Feeling self-conscious, I let my hair down. Knots or no knots, my long hair is like my safety blanket. You don’t find many girls with real long hair these days, just cheap-looking hair extensions. It’s got to a point where people come up to me to ask me where I purchased such realistic fake hair, and I always tell them my little-known but very simple hair tip: if you don’t get your hair cut, it will grow. Magic, isn’t it?
‘You know I care what you think,’ he says, throwing the end of his cigarette on the floor and stamping it out. ‘Shall we go get that coffee?’
I nod and follow his lead. I love Manchester, but with my rubbish sense of direction I find it impossible to find my way around, and it doesn’t matter how many times I visit.
‘Cold, isn’t it?’ I say in an attempt to break the silence with small talk.
‘It is. You should have put something warmer on.’
I look down at my dress. Not only is it totally inappropriate for strolling around town at this time of morning, but it isn’t doing much to fight off the chilly October wind. Oh, and there’s a rather unattractive booze stain down the side that must have happened last night.
‘I would have, but I forgot the bag with my clothes in. Don’t laugh!’ I warn him.
He does laugh, and it’s adorable. His eyes light up when he laughs and he’s got the most gorgeous smile.
‘What are we going to do with you?’ he sighs, putting his arm around me and I wonder if he’s doing it to keep me warm, or just to touch me.
‘I’ll be fine.’
