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Start the Car: The World According to Bumble
David Lloyd
Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of "Bumble", the legendary SkySports cricket commentator who's one ball short of an over and delivers madcap moments galore in this ebullient, endearing and hilarious book.David "Bumble" Lloyd is a legend in our living rooms, a genuine "good bloke" all cricket fans feel they know inside out because of his infectious, larger-than-life personality and that distinctive Lancashire burr.Bumble has become the one constant for passionate English fans in cricket's rapidly changing landscape. He has earned cult status as a commentator and pundit, with viewers loving his unerring dedication to the game's great fables.The World According to Bumble: Start the Car revels in the quirkier and humorous side of cricket, while offering behind-the-scenes action of Lloyd's years spent following cricket around the globe, from Accrington to Lahore.Bumble waxes lyrical on everything from the genius of Shane Warne to the merits of a Lancashire hotpot … and the delights of finishing the day with a couple of pints and a curry.Enjoy the camaraderie that exists among the SkySports team - including former England captains Sir Ian Botham, Michael Atherton, Nasser Hussain and David Gower - and laugh out loud at the stories and anecdotes which have forged Bumble's character.Whether he is holding up play to retrieve lost balls from the top of sight-screens, or enacting mock pitch reports from car parks, Bumble is capable of stealing the limelight at all times.
The World According to Bumble
Start the Car
David Lloyd
Dedication (#ulink_486909a5-fb84-5db5-85ba-ca0b7ba0bad8)
To Diana, Tags, Susan, Phil, Steven, Ben, Spike, Graham, Sharon, Joseph, Joshua, Freddie, Sarah, Enty, Sam, James and Jasmine. Hope you enjoy it!
Contents
Title Page (#uf8fbdbcd-fa91-5c92-a161-d146ca8f7a55)
Dedication
Introduction
Part 1 – In the Box
1 That Bloke off the Telly
2 The Sky Larks
3 Ranting, Raving and Reviewing
4 Life’s Tweet
5 It’s Not What You Say
Part 2 – In the Middle
6 Brushed up in Mönchengladbach
7 The Men in White Coats
8 Loose Lipped but Card Sharp
9 Twenty20 Kicks Ass
10 The Crown Jewels
11 Crowded Streets, Lonely Hearts, Alarm Clocks and Snakes
Part 3 – In the Blood
12 Get ’Em In!
13 Ian Rush? Who’s He? Exactly!
14 Hit for Six by a Pensioner
15 Hitting Sixties
16 Ooh, What a Ding-Dong Du
17 I’m Dreaming of a Hot Christmas
18 Suck-it-and-see Motoring
19 Every Slumdog Has Its Day
20 Birdies, Eagles and Mallards
21 The Million that Got Away
22 Hit the North
23 Bumble for Prime Minister
24 The Regiment
Photographic Insert
Acknowledgements
What next? (#u8e5c398a-8c65-5f2f-937a-a682377a32f4)
About the Authors
Copyright
About the Publisher
Introduction
Thanks for buying this book. The proceeds will go to a very good cause, namely the David Lloyd Retirement Fund, and, I assure you, will be redistributed to numerous outlets, in various personal pursuits across the globe. Oh, and rest easy in the knowledge that I will have fun doing so.
Of course, you might not have put your hand in your pocket to purchase this, so, for those of you who have received it as a gift on Father’s Day, on a birthday or at Christmas and want to pretend you have ploughed from cover to cover; for those of you who really like the thought of reading but never venture much further than the introduction; for those of you who normally do but find it to be the kind of book you just can’t pick up after putting down; for those of you who thought you were investing in the life story of some bloke involved in top-level tennis; for those of you wanting to know no more than the secrets of my successful leisure club empire (you’ll be sadly disappointed); for those of you whose concentration spans waver after a tweet or two; for those of you who have picked this up in the smallest room during a break between courses at a friend’s dinner party – here is the deal. Pretty much every essential detail you need to know about me is listed below. Welcome, however briefly, to my world.
My 50 Favourite Things
Career moment (playing): My 214 not out against India, Edgbaston, 1974
Career moment (broadcasting): Yuvraj Singh’s six sixes in an over off Stuart Broad, World Twenty20, 2007
Opponent: Joel Garner. He would bowl me out with a bath sponge
Team-mate: Graham Lloyd
Modern player: Can’t separate Virender Sehwag and Kevin Pietersen
Cricket ground: Sydney
Football team: Accrington Stanley
Footballer: Duncan Edwards
Holiday destination: St Ives, Cornwall
Tipple: A pint of Black Sheep or Timmy T’s
Meal: Chicken Madras with naan and lime pickle
Country: United Kingdom
Insect: Ladybirds are OK
Saying: ‘Don’t let the bastards grind you down’
Animal: Dog
Pastime: Fishing
Personal item: Motorbike
Boyhood hero: Ken Barrington
Book: Tragically, I Was an Only Twin – Peter Cook
Film: Brassed Off
Band: The Fall
Album: Imperial Wax Solvent – The Fall
Motorway: M6 toll road
River: Wye
Hotel: Lygon Arms, Chipping Campden
Mode of transport: Bike
Season: Spring
Beatles or Stones? Stones
Colour: Black
Decade: 1960s
Restaurant: J Sheekey, Covent Garden, London
Pub: The Hesketh Tavern, Cheadle Hulme
Advice received: ‘Be yourself’ – my dad
Advice given: ‘If you are a politician, don’t knock on my door’
Cake: Fruitcake
Flower: Rose
Number: 134
Condiment: Lancashire Sauce
Board game: Cluedo
Gadget: Chainsaw
Film star: Ray Winstone or Russell Crowe
TV soap: Emmerdale
Politician: Not one of them cheating, conniving, low-down dregs of the earth
Cricket tour: New Zealand
City: Manchester
Car: Audi
Memory: Loss of
Piece of trivia: Monaco’s army is smaller than its symphony orchestra
Comedian: Tommy Cooper
Joke: My granny started jogging in 1998 … we have no idea where she is now.
PART ONE
Chapter 1
