Tom Burke Of "Ours", Volume I

“And you’re Burke, I suppose,” cried she, as I commenced my labors.

“Yes; I’m Burke.”

“Well, I hope you ‘re done with wildness by this time. Uncle Tony tells fine tales of your doings.”

“Uncle Tony! So you ‘re Mr. Basset’s niece? Is that – ”

“You did n’t take me for his wife, I hope?” said she, again bursting out into laughter.

“In truth, I never thought so well of him as to suppose it.”

“Well, well, I ‘m sure it ‘s little I expected you to look so mild and so quiet. But you need n’t pinch me, for all that. Is n’t your name Tom?”

“Yes; I hope you ‘ll always call me so.”

“Maybe I will. Is n’t that done yet? And there ‘s the milk bell. Uncle will be in a nice passion if I ‘m not down soon. Cut it, – cut it at once.”

“Now do be patient for a minute or two; it’s all right if you stay quiet. I ‘ll try my teeth on it.”

“Yes; but you needn’t try your lips too,” said she, tartly.

“Why, it ‘s the only plan to get your fingers out of the way. I ‘m sure I never was so puzzled in all my life.”

“Nothing like practice, my boy, – nothing,” cried a merry voice from the door behind me, half choked with laughing; while a muttered anathema, in a deeper tone, followed. I looked back, and there stood Bubbleton, his face florid with laughter, endeavoring to hold back Mr. Basset, whose angry look and flashing eye there was no mistaking.

“Mr. Burke, – Burke, I say! Nelly, what does this mean? How came this young gentleman – ”

“As to that,” said I, interrupting him, and my blood somewhat chafed by his manner, “this piece of trumpery tumbled down when I leaned my arm on it. I had no idea – ”

“No, no; to be sure not,” broke in Bubbleton, in an ecstasy. “The thing was delicious; such a bit of stage effect. She was there, as it might be, combing her hair, and all that sort of thing; Tom was here, raving about absence and eternal separation. You are an angry father, or uncle, – all the same; and I ‘m Count Neitztachenitz, the old friend and brother officer of Tom’s father. Now, let Miss Nelly – But where is she? Why, she’s gone! Eh, and Basset? Basset! Why, he ‘s gone! Come, Tom, don’t you go too. I say, my boy, devilish well got up that. You ought to have had a white satin doublet and hose, slashed with pale cherry-colored ribbons to match, small hat looped, aigrette and white plume. She was perfect; her leg and foot were three certain rounds of applause from the pit and gallery.”

“What nonsense!” said I, angrily; “we weren’t playing a comedy.”

“Were n’t you, though? Well, I ‘m deuced sorry for it, that ‘s all; but it did look confoundedly like an undress rehearsal.”

“Come, come, no foolery, I beg. I’m here in a very sad plight, and this piece of nonsense may not make matters any better. Listen to me, if you can, patiently for five minutes, and give me your advice.”

I took him by the arm as I spoke, and leading him from the room, – where I saw that everything was only suggesting some piece of scenic effect, – and in as few words as I could command, explained how I was circumstanced; omitting, of course, any detail of my political bias, and only stated so much of my desire as implied my wish to be free of my contract with Basset, and at liberty to dispose of myself as I liked in future.

“I see,” cried Bubbleton, as I finished; “the old fox has this five hundred pounds of yours.”

“No, I didn’t say that; I only mean – ”

“Well, well, it ‘s all the same. If he has n’t, you know he ought.”

“No; that ‘s not essential either.”

“No matter, he would if he could; it just comes to the same thing, and you only wish to get clear out of his hands at any cost. Is n’t that it?”

“Exactly; you have it all perfectly.”

“Bless your heart, boy, there ‘s nothing easier; if I were in your place, should arrange the affair in less than a week. I ‘d have fits, – strong fits, – and burn all the papers in the office during the paroxysm. I ‘d make a pile of deeds, leases, bonds, and settlements in the backyard.”

“I don’t fancy your plan would be so successful as you flatter yourself,” said a dry, husky voice behind; “there ‘s rather a stringent law for refractory apprentices, as Mr. Burke may learn.” We turned round, and there stood Mr. Basset, with a grin of most diabolical malignity in his by no means pleasant features. “At the same time,” continued he, “your suggestions are of infinite value, and shall be duly appreciated in the King’s Bench.”

“Eh, – King’s Bench! Lord bless you, don’t speak of it. Mere trifles, – I just threw them out as good hints; I had fifty far better to come. There ‘s the young lady, now. To be sure, he has started that notion himself, so I must not pretend it was mine. But Miss Nelly, I think, Tom – ”

“Mr. Basset is well aware,” interrupted I, “that I am only desirous to be free and untrammelled; that whatever little means I may derive from my family, I ‘m willing to surrender all, short of actual beggary, to attain this object, – that I intend quitting Ireland at once. If, then, he consent to enter into an arrangement with me, let it be at once, and on the spot. I have no desire, I have no power, to force him by a threat, in case of refusal; but I hope he will make so much of amends to one of whose present desolation and poverty he is not altogether innocent.”

“There, there; that’s devilish well said. The whole thing is all clear before me. So come along, Basset; you and I will settle all this. Have you got a private room where we can have five minutes’ chat together? Tom, wait for me here.”

Before either of us could consent or oppose his arrangement, he had taken Basset’s arm, and led him downstairs; while I, in a flurry of opposing and conflicting resolves, sat down to think over my fortunes.

Tired at length with waiting, and half suspecting that my volatile friend had forgotten me and all my concerns, I descended to the parlor in hopes to hear something of the pending negotiation. At the head of a long, narrow table sat my fair acquaintance, Miss Nelly, her hair braided very modestly at each aide of her pretty face, which had now assumed an almost Quakerish propriety of expression. She was busily engaged in distributing tea to three pale, red-eyed, emaciated men, whose spongy-looking, threadbare garments bespoke to be attorney’s clerks, A small imp, a kind of embryo practitioner, knelt before the fire in the act of toasting bread, but followed with his sharp piercing eyes every stir in the apartment and seemed to watch with malicious pleasure the wry faces around, whenever any undue dilution of the bohea, or any curtailment of the blue milk, pressed heavily on the guests. These were not exactly the circumstances to renew my acquaintance with my fair neighbor, had I been so minded; so having declined her offer of breakfast, I leaned moodily on the chimneypiece, my anxiety to know my fate becoming each instant more painful. Meanwhile not a word was spoken, – a sad, moody silence, unbroken save by the sounds of eating, pervaded all, when suddenly the door of the front parlor was flung open, and Bubbleton’s pleasant voice was heard as he talked away unceasingly; in an instant he entered, followed by Basset, over whose hard countenance a shade of better nature seemed to pass.

“In that case,” cried the captain, “I’m your man, not that I ‘m anything of a performer at breakfast or dinner; supper ‘s rather my forte, – an odor of a broiled bone at three in the morning, a herring smeared with chetna and grilled with brandy, two hundred of small oysters, a few hot ones to close with, a glass of seltzer dashed with hollands for health, and, then any number you like of glasses, of hot brandy and water afterwards for pleasure.”

While Bubbleton ran on in this fashion, he had broken about half a dozen eggs into the slop basin, and seasoning the mess with pepper and vinegar, was busily engaged in illustrating the moderation of his morning appetite.

“Try a thing like this, Tom,” cried he, not defining how it was to be effected under the circumstances; while he added in a whisper, “your affair’s all right.”

These few words brought courage to my heart; and I ventured to begin the breakfast that had lain untasted before me.

“I think, Mr. Burke,” said Basset, as soon as he recovered from the surprise Bubbleton’s mode of breakfasting had excited, – “I think and trust that all has been arranged to your satisfaction.” Then turning to the clerks, who ate away without even lifting their heads, – “Mr. Muggridge, you will be late at the Masters’ Office; Jones, take that parcel to Hennet; Kit, carry my bag up to the Courts.”

Miss Nelly did not wait for the part destined for her, but with a demure face rose from the table and left the room; giving me, however, one sly glance as she passed my chair that I remembered for many a day after.

“You ‘ll excuse me, gentlemen, if I am pressed for time this morning; a very particular case comes on in the Common Pleas.”

“Never speak of it, my dear fellow,” said Bubbleton, who had just addressed himself to a round of spiced beef; “business has its calls just as pleasure has, – ay, and appetite too. That would make an excellent bit of supper, with some mulled port, after a few rubbers of shorts.”

Basset paid little attention to this speech, but turning to me, continued:

“You mentioned your intention of leaving Ireland, I think. Might I ask where you have decided on, – from where? Is it possible that your brother – ”

“My brother’s anxieties on my account, Mr. Basset, can scarcely be very poignant, and deserve no particular respect or attention at my hands. I suppose that this morning has concluded all necessary intercourse between us; and if you have satisfied my friend Captain Bubbleton – ”

“Perfectly, perfectly. Another cup of tea, if you please. Yes, nothing could be more gratifying than Mr. Basset’s conduct; you are merely to sign the receipt for the legacy, and he hands you over one hundred pounds. Isn’t that it?”

“Yes, quite correct; my bill for one hundred at three months.”

“That’s what I mean. But surely you’re not done breakfast; why, Tom, you ‘ve eaten nothing. I have been picking away this half hour, just to encourage you a bit. Well, well! I lunch in Stephen’s Green at three; so here goes.”

Mr. Basset now took from his pocket-book some papers, which, having glanced his eye over, he handed to me.

“This is a kind of acknowledgment, Mr. Burke, for the receipt of a legacy to which you could be only entitled on attaining your majority. Here are your indentures to me; and this is my acceptance for one hundred pounds.”

“I am content,” said I, eagerly, as I seized the pen. The thought of my liberty alone filled my mind, and I cared little for the conditions provided I secured that.

Basset proffered his hand. I was in no humor to reject anything that even simulated cordiality; I shook it heartily. Bubbleton followed my example, and having pledged himself to see more of his pleasant acquaintance, thrust his arm through mine and bustled out; adding, in a tone loud enough to be overheard, —

“Made a capital fight of it; told him you were a Defender, a United Irishman, a Peep-o’-day Boy, and all that sort of thing. Devilish glad to get rid of you, even on Miss Nelly’s account.”

And so he rattled away without ceasing, until we found ourselves at the George’s Street Barracks, my preoccupation of mind preventing my even having remarked what way we came.

CHAPTER XVIII. THE CAPTAIN’S QUARTERS

I WAS not sorry to find that Miss Bubbleton did not respond to the noisy summons of the captain, as he flourished about from one room to the other, making the quarters echo to the sweet name of “Anna Maria.” “Saladin,” “Grimes,” “Peter,” were also shouted out unsuccessfully; and with a fierce menace against various grooms of the chambers, waiting-men, and lackeys, who happily were still unborn, Bubbleton flung himself into a seat, and began to conjecture what had become of the inhabitants.

“She’s paying a morning call, – gone to see the Duchess; that ‘s it. Or perhaps she ‘s looking over that suit of pearls I bought yesterday at Gallon’s; pretty baubles, but dear at eight hundred pounds. Never mind; what ‘s money for, eh, Tom?”

As he looked at me for a reply, I drew my chair closer towards him, and assuming as much of importance as my manner could command, I besought his attention for a moment. Hitherto, partly from my own indecision, partly from his flighty and volatile bearing, I never had an opportunity either to explain my real position or my political sentiments, much less my intentions for the future. The moment had at length arrived, and I resolved to profit by it; and in as few words as I was able, gave a brief narrative of my life, from the hour of my father’s death to the day in which I fell into his own hands in Dublin, only omitting such portions as might, by the mention of names, compromise others concerned.

Nothing could possibly be more attentive than he was during the entire detail. He leaned his head on his hand, and listened with eager curiosity to all my scrapes and difficulties, occasionally nodding in assent, and now evincing by his excited air his desire to learn farther; and when I at last wound up by avowing my long cherished desire to enter the French service, he sat perfectly silent, and seemed to reflect gravely on the whole.

“I say, Tom,” said he, at length, as he stared me full in the face, and laid his hand impressively on my knee, “there ‘s good stuff in that, – excellent stuff, depend upon it.”

“Good stuff! what do you mean?” said I, in amazement.

“I mean,” replied he, “there’s bone in it, sinew in it, substance in it; there are some admirable situations too. How Fulham would come out in Tony Basset, – brown shorts, white stockings, high shoes and buckles, his own very costume. And there’s that little thing, Miss Booth, for Nelly; give her a couple of songs, – ballad airs take best. Williams should be Barton; a devilish fine villain in coarse parts, Williams, – I think I see him stealing along by the flats with his soldiers to the attack. Then the second act should open: interior of hut; peasants round a table (eating always successful on the stage; nothing like seeing a fat fellow bolting hard eggs, and blustering out unpronounceable jokes over a flagon of colored water). You, by right, should have your own part; splendid thing, devilish fine, – your sensations when the cabin was on tire, and the fellows were prodding about with their bayonets to discover you.”

“And who ‘s to perform Captain Bubbleton?” asked I, venturing for once to humor his absurdity.

“Eh? Oh I there’s nothing for me; no marked feature, nothing strong, nothing characteristic. That has been through life my greatest, my very highest ambition, – that no man should ever detect, by anything in my manner, my dress, or my style of conversation, that I was not John Nokes or Peter Styles. You ‘ll meet me at a dinner party, Tom; you ‘ll converse with me, drink with me; we’ll sit the evening together, grow intimate, perhaps you ‘ll borrow fifty pounds of me; and yet I ‘d wager another, you’d never guess that I rode a hippopotamus across the Ganges after tiffin one day, to pay my respects to the Governor-Greneral. That, let me tell you, Tom, is the very proudest boast a man can make. Do you see that scar? It looks nothing now. That was a bite from a ferocious boa: the villain got into my room before breakfast; he had eaten my chokeedar, a fellow I was very fond of – ”

“Ah, I remember you mentioned that to me. And now to come back to my dull story, to which, I assure you, however dramatic you may deem it, I ‘d prefer adding an act or so before it comes before the world. I intend to leave this to-morrow.”

“No, no; you mustn’t think of it yet awhile. Why, my dear fellow, you ‘ve a hundred pounds; only think of that! Twenty will bring you to Paris; less, if you choose. I once travelled from Glugdamuck to the Ghauts of Bunderamud for half a rupee; put my elephants on three biscuits a day; explained to them in Hindostanee – a most expressive language – that our provisions had fallen short; that on our arrival all arrears of grub should be made up. They tossed up their trunks thus in token of assent, and on we marched. Well, when we came to Helgie, there was no water – ”

“Very true,” interrupted I, half in despair at the torrent of story-telling I had got involved in. “But you forget I have neither elephants, nor camels, nor coolies, nor chokeedars; I’m a mere adventurer, with, except yourself, not a friend in the world.”

“Then why not join us?” cried the ever ready captain. “We are to have our orders for foreign service in a few weeks; you ‘ve only to volunteer; you ‘ve money enough to buy your kit. When you ‘re fairly in, it ‘s only writing to your brother. Besides, something always turns up; that ‘s my philosophy. I rarely want anything I don’t find means to obtain, somehow or other.”

“No,” said I, resolutely, “I will never join the service of a country which has inflicted such foul wrong on my native land.”

“All stuff and nonsense!” cried Bubbleton. “Who cares the deuce of clubs about politics? When you ‘re my age, you ‘ll find that if you ‘re not making something of politics, they ‘ll make very little of you. I ‘d as soon sell figs for my grocer or snuff for my tobacconist as I ‘d bother my head governing the kingdom for Billy Pitt. He ‘s paid for it, – that’s his business, not mine. No, no, my boy; join us, – you shall be ‘Burke of Ours!’ We ‘ll have a glorious campaign among the Yankees. I ‘ll teach you the Seneca language, and we ‘ll have a ramble through the Indian settlements. Meanwhile you dine to-day at the mess; to-morrow we picnic at the Dargle; next day we – What the deuce is next day to be? Oh yes! next day we all dine with you. Nothing stiff or formal, – a snug, quiet thing for sixteen; I’ll manage it all.”

Here was an argument there was no resisting; so I complied at once, comforting myself with a silent vow, come what might, I ‘d leave Ireland the day after my dinner party.

Under whatever guise – with what history of my rank, wealth, and family influence – Bubbleton thought proper to present me to his brother officers, I cannot say; but nothing could possibly be more kind, or even more cordial, than their reception of me. And although I had some difficulty in replying to questions put under mistaken notions of my position and intentions, I readily followed, as far as I was able, the line suggested by my imaginative friend, whose representations, I suspected, would be received with a suitable limitation by his old associates.

There is, perhaps, no species of society so striking and so captivating to the young man entering on life as that of a military mess. The easy, well-bred intimacy, that never degenerates into undue familiarity; the good-humored, playful raillery, that never verges on coarseness or severity; the happy blending of old men’s wisdom and young men’s buoyancy, – are all very attractive features of social intercourse, even independently of the stronger interest that invests the companionship of men whose career is arms. I felt this, and enjoyed it too; not the less pleasantly that I discovered no evidence of that violent partisan feeling I had been led to believe was the distinguishing mark of the Royalist soldier. If by chance any allusion was made to the troubles of the period, it was invariably done rather in a tone of respect for mistaken and ill directed political views, than in reprehension of disloyalty and rebellion; and when I heard the dispassionate opinions and listened to the mild counsels of these men, whom I had always believed to be the veriest tyrants and oppressors, I could scarcely credit my own senses, so utterly opposed were my impressions and my experience. One only of the party evinced an opposite feeling. He was a pale, thin, rather handsome man, of about five and twenty, who had lately joined them from a dragoon regiment, and who by sundry little innuendoes, was ever bringing uppermost the preference he evinced for his former service, and his ardent desire to be back again in the cavalry.

Captain Montague Crofts was indeed the only exception I witnessed to the almost brotherly feeling that prevailed in the Forty-fifth. Instead of identifying himself with the habits and opinions of his brother officers, he held himself studiously apart. Regarding his stay in the regiment like a period of probation, he seemed resolved to form neither intimacies nor friendships, but to wait patiently for the time of his leaving the corps to emancipate himself from a society below his caste.

The cold, repulsive, steady stare, the scarcely bowed head, the impassive silence with which he heard the words of Bubbleton’s introduction of me, formed a strong contrast with the warm cordiality of the others; and though at the time little disposed to criticise the manner of any one, and still less to be dissatisfied with anything, I conceived from the moment a dislike to Captain Crofts, which I felt to increase with every minute I spent in his company. The first occasion which suggested this dislike on my part, was from observing that while Bubbleton – whose historical accuracy or blind adherence to reality no one in the corps thought of requiring – narrated some of his incredible adventures. Crofts, far from joining in the harmless mirth which such tales created, invariably took delight in questioning and cross-questioning the worthy captain, quoting him against himself, and playing off a hundred tricks, which, however smart and witty in a law court, are downright rudeness when practised in society. Bubbleton, it is true, saw nothing in all this save the natural interest of a good listener, – but the others did; and it was quite clear to me, that while one was the greatest favorite in the regiment, the other had not a single friend amongst them. To me, Crofts manifested the most perfect indifference, not ever mixing himself in any conversation in which I bore a part. He rarely turned his head towards that part of the table at which I sat; and by an air of haughty superciliousness, gave me plainly to understand that our acquaintance, though confessedly begun, was to proceed no further. I cannot say how happy I felt to learn that one I had so much cause to dislike was a violent aristocrat, an ultra-Tory, a most uncompromising denouncer of the Irish Liberal party, and an out-and-out advocate of severe and harsh measures towards the people. He never missed an opportunity for the enunciation of such doctrines, which, whatever might be the opinions of the listeners, there was at the time I speak of no small risk in gainsaying, and this immunity did Crofts enjoy to his heart’s content.

Slight as these few reminiscences of the mess are, they are the called-up memories of days not to be forgotten by me; for now, what with my habitual indecision on the one hand, and Bubbleton’s solicitations on the other, I continued to linger on in Dublin, – leading the careless, easy life of those about me, joining in all the plots for amusement which the capital afforded, and mixing in every society to which my military friends had access. Slender as were my resources, they sufficed, in the eyes of all who knew not their limit, to appear abundant. Crofts was the only rich man in the regiment; and my willingness to enter into every scheme of pleasure, regardless of cost, impressed them all with the notion that Bubbleton for once was right, and that “Burke was a kind of Westcountry Croesus,” invaluable to the regiment.

Week after week rolled on, and still did I find myself a denizen of George’s Street. The silly routine of the barrack life filled all my thoughts, save when the waning condition of my purse would momentarily turn them towards the future; but these moments of reflection came but seldom, and at last came not at all. It was autumn; the town almost divested of its inhabitants, – at least of all who could leave it, – and along the parched, sunburned streets a stray jingle or a noddy was rarely seen to pass. The squares, so lately crowded with equipages and cavalcades of horsemen, were silent and deserted; the closed shutters of every house, and the grass-grown steps, vouched for the absence of the owners. The same dreamy lethargy that seemed to rest over the deserted city appeared to pervade everything; and save a certain subdued activity among the officials of the Castle, – a kind of ground-swell movement that boded something important, – there was nothing stirring. The great measure of the Union, which had been carried on the night of the riots, had, however, annihilated the hopes of the Irish Liberal party; and many who once had taken a leading part in politics had now deserted public life forever.