скачать книгу бесплатно
“I’m a pediatric nurse. I work in the neonatal unit, so all of my patients are newborns.”
Josh smiled again, a little sadly. “I can definitely see you doing that.”
Of course he could. From the time she could walk and talk, she’d been fascinated with babies. How many times had Josh been forced to stand around while she oohed and aahed over some baby she’d spotted at the mall? She’d volunteered to take care of babies at the church nursery and she’d babysat every chance she got, looking forward to the day when she could hold her very own newborn in her arms.
Only that day never came. She’d thrown away her birth control pills the day she’d gotten married, with Josh’s full blessing. Though they had no money and no plans, they knew they wanted kids.
But the pregnancy never happened.
They saw a fertility doctor. The problem was Natalie’s—she had under-functioning ovaries. If she ovulated at all, it had been extremely erratic. They’d tried fertility drugs, which hadn’t worked, and they simply hadn’t had the money to pursue the next step, which would have been in vitro fertilization.
The constant efforts, continual worries and monthly disappointments when pregnancy tests came up negative combined to put stress on a marriage already overburdened with money problems. They’d both been going to college and holding down various jobs, all while navigating around the strident disapproval of Josh’s parents, who’d been horrified by the sudden marriage of their only son.
Natalie hadn’t been willing to give up. She was going to get a baby, no matter what it took. She’d wanted to adopt, and she’d been ready to put them on a list, figuring that by the time a baby became available they would have the money for all the legal fees. But Josh drew the line. He’d wanted to raise his own child, and had insisted that they keep trying, pretending that some miracle was just around the corner.
In hindsight, she understood his hesitation. But at the time, she’d thought he was being narrow-minded.
Her attention was jerked back to the present when the lights dropped down low and the band switched gears to a slow song.
“Maybe we should sit this one out,” Natalie said nervously.
But Josh didn’t look nervous at all. “Aw, come on, Nat, lighten up. It’s a twenty-fifth class reunion. Comes along once in a lifetime. You’re supposed to get a little bit crazy.”
“Who says?” But she didn’t object when he put his arms around her and pulled her closer. They did a slow glide around the dance floor, passing Melissa and her husband, Beau. Melissa grinned and winked at Natalie. Little did she know the revenge Natalie was planning even now.
By the end of the song, Natalie had relaxed to the point she was resting her head on Josh’s shoulder and thinking about things she shouldn’t. It had been a very long time since she’d been intimate with a man. Years, in fact. There’d been a couple of boyfriends after her divorce, but every time a relationship seemed as if it might take a turn for the serious, Natalie had ended it. She hadn’t been able to bear the thought of falling in love with a man, then telling him she couldn’t have children.
Then she’d adopted one-year-old Mary. After that, she simply hadn’t had time for any other relationships—if anyone had wanted to be with her, which they hadn’t. It wasn’t a myth, that most men viewed single moms as if they had leprosy. But she hadn’t cared. Raising a daughter was completely fulfilling—she hadn’t needed a man in her life, hadn’t even missed having one.
Or maybe she had.
She’d forgotten how good Josh smelled. “Oh, my God.”
“What?”
“You’re wearing Stetson aftershave.”
“I might be.” She heard the grin in his voice.
It was one of the first gifts she’d ever given him, a bottle of Stetson. The smell had seemed incredibly macho to her back when she was seventeen. He’d worn it for her, and it had been a couple of years before he’d been brave enough to tell her he didn’t really like aftershave, that he preferred to smell simply like soap.
Yet he’d worn it tonight. “Is it that same bottle?”
“The old bottle turned to turpentine some years ago. I went out and bought a new one.”
“But you don’t like aftershave.”
“Sure I do.”
No, he most certainly didn’t. His decision to stop wearing it had hurt her feelings, so she darn well remembered it. “Let’s go get something cold to drink.”
On the way back to their table, Bobby Salazar stepped into their path. He stared at them drunkenly. “Thought you two got divorced.”
Josh slapped the other man’s shoulder. “Hey, Bobby. Thought you got sober.”
It took Bobby a moment to process the comment. “Heh, good one.” Then he grinned and staggered off.
“I’m sure we’re confusing a number of people,” Natalie said as they reached their table.
“Yeah, but we won’t see them again for another twenty or so years, so do we care?”
She shrugged. “Not really.”
“I’ll go get us a couple more beers.”
Melissa, of course, made a beeline for Natalie as soon as she was alone. “So, y’all are getting along, it looks like.”
Natalie narrowed her eyes. “You are in so much trouble. You lied to both of us.”
“They were just little white lies. Oh, Nat, you two should be together. I always told you so. Now there’s nothing keeping you apart. He’s been divorced from Beverly for, like, eons, and you’re single.”
“There’s a lot of painful history keeping us apart,” she reminded her friend. “We can’t undo the train wreck we made of our marriage.”
“But you were so young back then. You’d do better now.”
Would they? Certainly she’d matured in the past twenty years. She had mellowed, didn’t see things as black or white anymore.
“We’ve built separate lives,” Natalie said.
“So? You could merge them again. I mean, the issue, the big issue—that’s not even relevant anymore, right?”
She shot Melissa a dangerous look. “Melissa. Stop it.”
Melissa sighed. “You’re missing a great opportunity.”
Josh returned with the beers, which ended that particular conversation. Natalie was hot and thirsty—the old air-conditioning system in the VFW Hall didn’t begin to keep up with the heat, which was why Natalie had worn a sundress and most of the men had removed their jackets and ties, including Josh.
She took a long sip of beer and appreciated how good he looked in a starched white shirt. His chest was so broad now. Nice.
Soon Melissa had them all up and dancing again. This time they were line dancing, so it didn’t seem quite so weird, though Josh was there at her right. When the dance called for them to link up, he slid his arm around her waist, letting his hand stray briefly to her hip.
She felt a jolt of awareness all the way to her toes. “Josh!”
“Sorry.” He didn’t look sorry at all. The funny thing was, Natalie wasn’t sorry, either. Maybe it was the beer or the heat or the adrenaline, but she wanted him to touch her again.
After twenty minutes on the dance floor, Natalie was hot and sweaty and actually having a good time. But she needed some fresh air. When the band took a break, she excused herself to the restroom to brush her hair and reapply her lipstick, then slipped out a side door into the parking lot.
It was early June in Texas, which meant it wasn’t exactly cool. But a breeze was blowing, refreshing her face a bit. She thought about just getting in her car and driving back to Melissa’s house, where she was spending the night. She’d already gotten more than she’d bargained for at this reunion. But she probably shouldn’t drive just yet. Those one-and-a half beers had gone to her head. She would have to wait a couple of hours.
“I wondered where you’d gone to.”
She whirled around, startled. “Josh!”
He slipped an arm around her waist, just like when they’d been dancing. Except this time they were utterly alone and in the dark.
“I’m glad you’re doing so well,” he said. “For years I worried about you, all alone in the big city.”
She forced herself to relax as they naturally fell into a slow walk, heading for an area behind the building where a few picnic tables were scattered under some ancient live oak trees.
“I was never alone. My sister’s in Dallas.” That was why she’d applied to nursing schools there instead of Houston. That, and because she’d wanted to get as far away from Josh as she could, so she wouldn’t be tempted to go back. Ending their marriage had been the most painful decision of her life. She hadn’t wanted to go through it more than once.
“Yeah, but you didn’t have me.”
“Undeniably true. But by some miracle, I muddled through without you. Or any man.”
He took her hand and led her over to the tables, bending down to squint at the top of first one, then another.
“What are you doing?”
“Ah, here it is.” He took his key chain out of his pocket. It had a little LED flashlight attached, and he shined it on the top of the picnic table.
The beam of light illuminated a heart, with the initials J.C. and N.B. enclosed. Josh had carved it into the table when they’d first started dating their junior year. The carving had been painted over many times, but it survived along with about a hundred others.
“Defacing public property. Shame on you.”
“I wanted everyone to know you were mine.” He reached up and smoothed her hair behind her ear. “You haven’t changed. I mean, really. People say that, but you still look just as I remember you. No…better.”
“It’s the soft lighting,” she joked, but inside she was quaking. She couldn’t think clearly when he was touching her. She knew there was a very good reason not to be out here alone with Josh Carlson, but none came to mind. Nothing came to her mind except a hot desire she’d been sure was a part of her adolescent past.
Then he leaned in and kissed her, and she ceased thinking altogether.
Chapter Two
Josh couldn’t believe how good it felt to have Natalie in his arms and his mouth on hers. She looked the same, she smelled the same, she even tasted the same, which was unlike any other girl he’d ever been with.
Despite what he’d told her, he’d known ahead of time she would be at the reunion. Melissa had warned him. But the warning had been more of an enticement, really. He’d wanted to see how she’d turned out. They were still practically kids when they’d split up—just twenty-three.
He’d half hoped Natalie would be fat and matronly, with plenty of wrinkles and gray hair. Some of the girls he’d gone to high school with certainly had aged in that way. But not Natalie.
Physically, she’d hardly changed at all. Oh, she’d put on a few pounds—weight that was sorely needed. As a teenager she’d been way too thin. Now her still-slender figure had real womanly curves. He liked them—a lot.
She had the same high cheekbones and lush lips, same thick, dark hair, slightly wavy, the ends curling about her bare shoulders.
And she still kissed with no holds barred. He wondered if he could turn her on as easily as he once had. He knew where to touch. But even after a couple of beers, he questioned the wisdom of lighting her fire. They were grown-ups now, and sex wasn’t a game anymore. Sex had repercussions, and not just physical ones.
Yet, he couldn’t stop kissing her.
A door opened and he heard raucous rock music pouring out. He removed his hand from Natalie’s breast, where it had mysteriously strayed without his conscious decision.
“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” Natalie said, her chest heaving so hard she was about to come out of her sundress.
“Why not?” he asked, though he knew the answer.
“Because some memories should be left alone.”
“And some memories should be taken out and examined,” he countered. “To see if they’re really as good as you remember.”
He coaxed a smile out of her. “And was it?” she asked.
“I don’t know yet. I have more examining to do.”
She allowed him to kiss her again. Kissing was innocent, after all. They couldn’t exactly rip their clothes off and make love right here.
As he delved into her mouth with his tongue, he wished he hadn’t thought about ripping off clothes. Because knowing they couldn’t get naked right here had only made him wonder where they could get naked.
“I’ve got a room at the Holiday Inn,” he whispered in her ear. But only because he wanted to get her reaction. Not because he thought she would take him up on his proposition.
He expected her to express shock or anger or at least issue a curt refusal. But she was the one to surprise him. “I can’t. I’m staying with Melissa.” Her voice was filled with regret.
“Do you really think she’d object if you went off with me? She’s been campaigning for us to get back together ever since our divorce.”
“Yeah. Get together, get married, live happily ever after.” She paused to kiss him some more, pulling the tails of his shirt from his pants so she could slide her hands up his bare back. The touch of her warm, soft hands made him shudder with desire. Oh, what this woman could do to him. He would be her slave if she wanted it. “She would not approve of what we’re…talking about doing,” Natalie concluded.
“It’s a class reunion.”
“You keep saying that.” She reached for his hand and placed it back on her breast. “Like a class reunion is some kind of free ticket to bad behavior.”
He dipped his head down and kissed the top of her breast. “And we’re doing more than talking.” If they didn’t come to a satisfactory plan very soon, they would be out of their clothes in a much-too-public place. He’d forgotten just how crazy Natalie could make him.
He forced himself to pull away, and push the strap of her dress up her arm and back on her shoulder where it belonged. “My car is twenty steps away. You can call Melissa’s cell from there. Better yet, leave a message on her home phone.”
“Yeah, with one of her kids. ‘Tell Mommy her slutty friend Natalie is getting laid instead of coming home tonight.’”
Josh chuckled. “C’mon, Nat. I wore Stetson for you, you know. Normally I never touch the stuff.” But the smell of it had brought back all kinds of memories. Really good ones.
Sensing her reluctance, he kissed her again—kissed her until, one by one, her tense muscles relaxed and she became liquid in his arms.
“All right,” she finally said with a naughty gleam in her eye. “Forget Melissa. I’m mad at her anyway for lying to me.”
Adrenaline shot through Josh’s body. She’d said yes. He and Natalie were going to make love.
He hadn’t come here to seduce Natalie. Yeah, he’d worn the Stetson cologne, but that was more to see if she would remember—and maybe to remind her of the good times, not the bad. But the moment he’d seen her, looking not so different from the teenage girl he’d fallen in love with, he’d known that he wanted her in his bed that night.
He’d given up one-night stands a long time ago. And since two marriages with bad endings had proved he wasn’t good husband material, marriage was out of the question.
This was different, though. This was Natalie, the woman he’d once loved so desperately, probably more than anyone on earth except his kids. Spending one night with her would not be the same as some empty, frantic one-nighter. This would be a trip down memory lane, a welcome oasis of nostalgia in a life that was so caught up in work and raising kids that he never had time for just Josh anymore.
By the time they reached his Jaguar, he’d beeped open the lock. He settled her on the leather passenger seat.
