I Need You

скачать книгу бесплатно


Would memories disappear as easily––washed away by time? I didn’t want to forget anything.

“Have you ever been out in the water up to your middle?”

For years the water had been over my head, but only figuratively, not literally. I had never gone deeper than my thighs because I was too scared of the huge ocean and all the things I couldn’t see. It should have been the future I was afraid of, and what was hidden by time…

Another wave broke onto his thighs, the white foam frothing about us.

“Have you?” he asked again. Then he clarified. “I don’t mean that, I mean have you been into the ocean deeper than your middle?”

“No.”

“Come on, then.” He began walking forward.

“You’ll get hypothermia!”

“I’ll run when we get out, that’ll warm me up.”

My teeth were chattering, even just being in his arms, as the cold spray got me wet.

I gripped his shoulders tighter and he lifted me a little higher.

My gaze caught his. He smiled, then a glint caught in the onyx heart of his eyes. “No!” My fingers clawed. “Don’t you dare drop me!”

“Would I?”

“You were thinking about it.”

“I was letting you think I was thinking about it.”

“You’re nuts, Billy.”

“And going deeper…”

He walked forward. I was laughing, properly laughing, I could feel it in my stomach, and the muscles I hadn’t used for months were aching in my face. It felt so good to laugh. “Ahh, I turned into him, lifting my leg into his chest as a bigger wave rolled in.” I was getting used to being held by him. I was completely sure he wouldn’t drop me. His huge arms were firm and solid and strong. He wouldn’t let me fall.

When the next wave crashed into us it was stronger and swilled right up to my hips. His top got wet and the spray dampened my bottom. Exhilaration washed through my nerves like the ocean swirling around him, and the scent of the salt water filled my nostrils.

He went in deeper still. I clutched his shoulders harder, but turned my head to watch the next wave roll in. It was bigger, but then he was further out.

“It’s coming, Lind,” he teased. I gripped his neck with both arms, and turned my head into his chest.

“Argh!” I cried as it hit us hard, swilling against my back, a rush of fizzing salty water tumbling over me like rapids and soaking my clothes, but it felt good. I was a part of nature; of a world I hadn’t been part of for a very long time.

I laughed, lifting my head and clinging a little less.

Something glinted in his eyes and he took me even deeper.

“Billy!” I screamed as the next wave broke right before us, crashing open and starting to roar in a rush of white water that washed right into me, soaking me completely as I clung to Billy…

It was freezing.

My arms clung tight about his neck and I shivered like crazy as the wave rolled on past us.

“Billy what if there’s a sneaker wave. I’m cold. Take me back!”

Insecurity, fear, pain, all flooded back. My teeth chattered and I was really shivering. “Billy, take me back.”

His grip firmed on my thigh and shoulder, his fingers pressing into my flesh.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe!

“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

I gripped his neck, shivering violently as he carried me out of the water and back up the beach.

I was crying. Stupid fears. Stupid head. Stupid life.

“I wouldn’t have let you go, Lind.” He didn’t put me down, even when we reached the sand. He might think my fear was crazy, but he was still kind.

I liked the challenge in Billy, because he was right, I could face demons with him, and know he would keep me safe and get me out the other side, and if he could help me get out of the self-inflicted prison sentence I’d been serving, then I’d let him push me…

This was my week to mourn. Then I was going to let it go and try to learn to live again.

I’d had my first orgasm this morning because of Billy…

I’d gone into the ocean…

What else could I achieve with him?

When Billy set me down by our den, I was still shivering. He bent and grabbed up the blanket, wrapped it around me, then rubbed my shoulders.

His black eyelashes were all stuck together by the salty ocean water, and his hair clung to his head.

A wave had crashed into his back when he’d walked out of the water.

“Sorry, I took you too deep.”

“No, you didn’t.” My teeth still chattered. “I enjoyed it for a while.”

“But now we’d better get you in a shower. I’ll leave the den here and come back.”

“Aren’t you cold too?”

“I’m a bit tougher than you, Lind. I’ll go get your backpack.”

He turned away. I picked up his shorts, my sandals and his sneakers from inside our den and followed him up the beach. Heat seeped back into my legs, and then they burned.

He walked with purpose. His swim shorts stuck on his tight buttocks as he moved. The same tight buttocks I had been imagining moving up and down between my thighs earlier. The dark hairs on his thighs and calves were stuck to his skin too.

The woman gave him my backpack and he talked to her for a moment, saying thank you, I guessed. Then he walked toward me as I walked up the beach, clutching the blanket around me.

“So did you?” He said with a grin, when I reached him.

I shook my head at him, smiling, as I walked past him. I was warming up, but I still wanted to go back to my room and shower.

When I stood in the shower, washing the salt out of my hair, feeling the water pouring over my head and body, I smiled, as I remembered the waves crashing into us, and Billy’s strong arms hanging on to me.

So, did you?

The words he’d been asking me all day echoed in my head and heat burned across my skin.

Chapter Five (#ulink_1c8db5d2-0c50-52a2-91a0-128314d58046)

Billy

Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I splashed aftershave on my skin. I’d gone for a dark-blue shirt and black pants, but I’d kept my comfortable sneakers on.

The plan was to walk down to the Italian restaurant we’d seen.

I rubbed some styling wax on my hands and combed my fingers through my wet hair to spike it a little.

Taking one last look in the mirror, I told myself, silently, to get my shit together, then turned away.

Lindy and I had done a lot of laughing today, in the end, but I knew she was still unhappy underneath, and I still felt partly responsible, no matter what she’d said last night––and guilty.

I picked my wallet up and slid that, then my iPhone, into my pockets. Jason had tried calling twice while we’d been down at the beach. I’d sent him a text saying ‘All’s good. I’m just busy. I’ll catch up when I get home.’

I left the room, going to knock on Lindy’s door.

“Hey.” She opened it smiling, wearing a skimpy cotton summer dress. It was held up by thin straps on her shoulders and from there the material just floated over her breasts and her belly, falling to the middle of her thighs. She looked good. Her eye shadow was a soft blue and her lip gloss a pale pink. They suited her. She looked more like the old Lindy. “I’ll get my purse and my jacket, then I’m ready.” She threw me a smile before turning away.

She came back in a moment, wearing a loose black jacket over the top of the dress, and a small pink purse, with a long strap, over her shoulder. It matched the flat sandals she had on.

“Have you spoken to your Mom and Dad?” I asked, as she shut her door behind her.