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It was almost there. A play for 4 people. Comedy
It was almost there. A play for 4 people. Comedy
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It was almost there. A play for 4 people. Comedy

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Danil (cautiously, with interest, looking at Irina). Is your friend Natasha pouring into your ears again about me? There was no such thing at all…

Irina feels like she's in a frying pan, trying to figure out what to do. Puts the smartphone aside, navigates the situation. She looks suspiciously at Danil, she doesn't understand what he's talking about, but it's for the best. She guesses that he missed most of her words, which is incredibly pleasing.

Danil (cautiously, with interest, looking at Irina). Why are you looking at me like that? Don't you believe it?

Irina looks with a penetrating look.

Danil changes tactics.

Danil (wriggling out). Ahhh, so you're probably talking about Masha. Masha, yes, red. I didn't even think about it right away. That's right, I met her at the market the other day. Well, Masha is Antokhin's sister.

Irina looks with suspicion and misunderstanding.

Danil (twisting out, convincingly explaining). Yes, my one-size-fits-all, Anton. Don't you remember him? He's so patchy… (He waves it off.) It doesn't matter. So this is his older sister. She helped us sometimes at school. Anton and I didn't really drag, but she just fumbled. Well, we met, got to know each other, and exchanged a couple of phrases. That's it.

Irina (with suspicion). All?

Danil (convincingly). And what else?

Irina (with suspicion, knowing Danil and his habits, coming up on the go). How can I tell you… as far as I am informed, you were smiling so interestingly at each other that, as it were… The question arises, is there something hidden behind these smiles?

Danil (convincingly). Irka, what are you doing? I'm telling you, slap your informants in the ears so that they don't spread nonsense beyond their inflamed imagination.

Irina (with suspicion, knowing Danil and his habits). Watch me!

Irina sighs with relief and picks up her smartphone again.

Danil (changing the subject). I'm looking, but I wonder where you're looking all the time!

Irina is straining. Silent. Waiting for explanations.

Danil (attacking). I'm not coming home from work, so you're all right completely and completely in your smartphone. I understand that in recent years you have been living not with me, but with him.

Irina (startled, interrupting). With whom, with him???

Danil (calmly explaining). With a smartphone!

Irina (relieved). And… well… yes… Well, too, it's not that I live directly.

Danil (more emotionally). You're not getting out of it!

Irina (defiantly). Oh, and you're just climbing out!

Danil (excited). I'm working for a second! And at home I want to relax, I have the right to sit, play and chat. Who else should I talk to at home? Not with you, right?

Irina (defiantly). But at least!

Danil (putting aside the phone, which, though without attention, he still held in his hand all this time). Well, come on, let's try, let's talk.

Irina also puts her phone aside.

Both turn to each other. They look at each other. Even from time to time they take a breath in their chest, and as if they are going to start a conversation, but at the last moment they change their mind, turn their gazes to the side.

In general, they have nothing to talk about.

Several attempts on both sides to speak.

Silence.

Danil (nodding to the situation, philosophically). We had a great conversation.

Everyone is reaching for their smartphone again, and they continue to spend their time and attention on the virtual world.

ZTM.

Scene 4. Conversation of Danil and Oleg.

Late evening. Street. Yard.

Darkness. Female moans, shouts and other echoes characteristic of intimate and satisfying active activity are heard. Male moans are less vivid, but also present in this idyll.

The light turns on smoothly, Oleg and Danil, leaning on some element of the playground (or some other yard piece of architecture) with bottles of something wrapped (supposed beer), talk casually, look enthusiastically at the window of a high-rise building, "spend time culturally."

Oleg (after listening to a good portion of gasps and sighs coming from the slightly open window). Look how they charge. Right candy-bouquet period they have there. It's very expensive to listen to.

Danil (with a calm face, after listening to a few more shouts). Yes, not …, the candy-bouquet period has long ended for them. This is practically everyday life. But there is still a fuse, apparently. Eeeee, there's still gunpowder in the flasks!

Oleg (with some degree of condemnation). Danil, I've always been surprised by your ability to talk about what you don't know about. Well, what makes you think that the candy-bouquet period is over for them?

There is a bright splash of emotions from the window.

Oleg (pointing to the window). Oh! Have you heard how they have everything there? I didn't have it with my Nina even at the very beginning, not like now. And do you see how it happens to people? No, brother, it smells like kerosene. And just about to be spilled between the hearts of these two figures, and set on fire by some skillful cherub who knows his business perfectly.

There is another batch of emotional shouts from the window.

Danil (with a calm face, after listening to a few more shouts). And I will answer! First of all, not a brother, but a friend!

Oleg (with interest). So I'm not literally. Of course, a friend. And what, secondly?

Danil (with a calm face). And secondly, I know this couple very well. They have been dating for a long time. In fits and starts, though, from time to time, but for a long time. I suspect that their anniversary is coming soon.

Oleg (with interest, and some disbelief). You're at it again… That's how? How can you know all this? Tell me honestly, are you making it up on the go?

Danil (with a calm face). I'm not making anything up.

Oleg (egging on). Yeah, you'll say that someone from this couple personally tells you all the details, right?

Danil (with a calm face). I can't really say anything about the peasant, I've only seen him a few times, briefly. Nothing such a man, quite suitable.

A new batch of groans and gasps is heard. Mostly female shouts.

Danil (with a calm face). And I know the lady who's been soloing for an hour well.

Oleg (biased, incredulous). Oh, stop it! He knows everyone, he knows about everything.

Oleg starts drinking.

Danil (with a calm face). And how can I not know if it's my own wife.