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‘Where?’ Hilary’s voice rose a decibel in disbelief as she raked her hands through her short, spiky hair in agitation.
‘It was right in the centre – where you could find it,’ Nina bit her tongue before she swore. The temporary numbing effect of the wine was fast evaporating.
‘Well, I can’t see it, can I?’ Hilary pushed the papers to one side. ‘Oh – there!’ she said, holding the letter up. Nina breathed a sigh of relief and sat down at her own desk, already desperate for another glass of wine.
‘Well, it’s creased now. You’ll have to print it out again.’
Nina opened the document up on her screen. This, she vowed, would be the last order she’d take from Hilary Jackson.
‘Not yet – wait,’ Hilary said. ‘There’s probably something I need to correct first.’
Nina sighed. Just bide your time, she said to herself. See the day out first and then tell her exactly what you think of her. Goodness only knew that she needed that length of time to build her courage up.
At four o’clock, Nina left her desk to make the tea. In the relative sanctuary of the kitchen, she stretched her arms high above her head and yawned loudly. She felt exhausted – as if, quite suddenly, all the hours of tedium, frustration and anger of working with her boss had snowballed into one gigantic mass of mutiny. It was time, wasn’t it?
The kettle boiled, and Nina poured the hot water into the mugs and stirred vigorously. She put an extra-large sugar into her own mug and the usual half a teaspoon into Hilary’s.
Hilary didn’t bother looking up from her papers as Nina re-entered the office and placed her mug on her desk. She sat down again, sipping her tea and glancing at her watch for the tenth time in as many minutes.
‘For God’s sake!’ Hilary’s voice suddenly rose from behind her computer. ‘Did you put the bloody sugar in with a shovel?’ It was Hilary’s usual comment when Nina accidentally put a couple of extra grains in her tea. But Nina didn’t say anything. She was waiting. Just waiting.
Half-past five came and went and Nina’s computer remained on. Her eyes were sore from staring at its bright face all day and her cream blouse was damp with perspiration. She watched Hilary’s face as she proofread the latest copy of the same letter she’d printed out half a dozen times already that day. Hilary. Sounded a bit like horrible, didn’t it? Started with an h, same number of consonants. Horrible Hilary. Hilary the Horrible.
Nina shook her head, feeling as if she was fast sinking into insanity, her foot tapping against the desk leg as she looked at her watch, willing precious minutes of her life away before she could make her escape.
A smile curved the corner of her mouth as she recalled her friend’s voice in the pub.
‘Just clear your desk out, tell Hilary to take a hike and go.’
I will, Janey. I will, Nina said to herself.
‘Right!’ Hilary exclaimed, making Nina jump. ‘That’ll do for today.’
Nina got up from her chair before Hilary had a chance to change her mind.
‘But I’ll need you here for eight tomorrow to start work on the end-of-month reports. First, though, I’ve got a few items you need to pick up from the dry cleaners. They open at seven so you’ll be able to get them en route to the office but don’t – whatever you do – crease them like you did last time. Honestly, Nina – the state of my jacket when you brought it in! You really don’t think sometimes!’
Nina blinked in disbelief. There was no please, no asking if that was all right with Nina – it was just an order that demanded to be obeyed. And that’s when the stirring began – a strange bubbling inside her stomach. It felt like nothing she’d ever felt before. Anxiety, apprehension perhaps, urging her forward because, at last, the time had come.
‘I won’t be here at eight,’ Nina said, her voice unusually clear and calm. ‘And I won’t be here at nine either.’ As she spoke, she opened her desk drawer and took out her little pot of lip balm, before reaching to the side of her computer where a framed photo of her childhood pet dog, Bertie, had lived for the past two years.
Hilary looked at her, not quite comprehending. ‘I’m afraid it’s necessary to work extra hours in order to get the job done. And if you don’t value that—’
‘No,’ Nina said, blowing the light covering of dust from Bertie’s frame, causing Hilary to blink. ‘Quite frankly, I don’t value it because you don’t value me and so I’m leaving. It’s something I’ve been meaning to do for some time now and I really don’t know why it’s taken me so long.’ Nina’s eyebrows rose as assuredly as her confidence. ‘You are rude, unreasonable and uncaring, and I’ve had enough.’ She looked at her boss briefly, noting the gaping mouth.
‘How dare you talk to me like that!’ Hilary Jackson said, her eyes narrowed into two mean slits.
‘This is something I should have done months ago,’ Nina told her, staring right back at her and, for the first time since she’d taken the job, unafraid of her boss. ‘The very day after you arrived, in fact, because you’ve made my life a complete misery. We’re meant to be work colleagues, but you treat me like your own personal slave. You never ask my opinion about anything. You bulldoze over any suggestions I dare to make or else claim them for yourself and take all the credit for them with the management team. You swear at me. You set unreasonable deadlines and expect me to do hours of overtime without any extra pay whilst you slink off to your holistic retreat! Well, it’s over, Hilary! I’m not going to be treated like this anymore!’
‘What?’ Hilary barked.
‘I believe I’m owed my notice in annual leave, which I’ve been unable to take for some time, owing to your ridiculous deadlines as well as the volume of work you’ve put my way.’ Nina swung her handbag over her shoulder and, after one last look around the room, walked slowly away from her desk.
‘Nina Elliot – you just stop and think about what—’
‘Goodbye, Hilary,’ she interrupted before opening the door. ‘And good luck finding a replacement,’ she continued, ‘because you’ll need it.’
When Nina got home, she kicked her shoes off and watched them hit the skirting boards with a satisfying thump. She’d done it; really done it this time, and not just acted out a scene in her head with a thousand witty retorts to each one of Hilary’s nasty instructions. It had felt wonderful. She’d felt free and full of all the possibilities that the future now held for her. She just had to decide what she wanted to do with it.
Chapter Three (#uac9d0cfa-760d-5a39-9186-6cbeb26b1806)
When one door closes, somewhere a window is opened. At least, that’s how the saying went. But, Nina couldn’t help wondering the next morning if it had been wise to close a door before even knowing where to look for a window. Maybe not, but it had certainly been liberating.
Janey had sounded delighted when Nina told her.
‘Well done, you!’ she cheered down the phone. ‘Now don’t go walking into another nasty little job again. Have a break – enjoy yourself,’ she advised. That was all very well, but what was she going to enjoy herself with? Fun always seemed to come with a pretty hefty price tag. And, finding herself out of teabags as well as T-shirts, Nina thought she should at least start to look for another position.
The local recruitment agency wasn’t exactly what Nina had hoped for on the first day of her new-found freedom. The stark walls and bland office furniture looked like a ‘before’ room on a television makeover programme, and the jobs the city had to offer were just as uninspiring. Nina tutted, rolled her eyes, bit her lip and then walked back out into the sunshine. Janey was right. There was absolutely no point in summoning up the courage to jack in your job only to leap into another job that you didn’t totally love. She was worth more than that, and this was going to be a new start for her – not just in terms of a job but in her personal life, too. She was leaving behind the old Nina with the bad boyfriend and the bad job. Who knew what the future held in store for her? All she had to do was to remain optimistic and keep smiling.
She held her face up to the early summer sunshine, rejoicing in the fact that she’d never have to face Hilary Jackson again in that tiny, airless office. She’d never forget her boss’s face as she’d said goodbye. Like Munch’s ‘The Scream’ with a touch of Lady Macbeth. It had been quite scary, and Nina began to feel sorry for the next poor soul to be taken on by her old boss. But that wasn’t her concern. She’d done her time and now she was free.
It was a bright Wednesday morning at the end of May and she didn’t have to work; the city was her oyster. She could do what she wanted – visit all the places she never had time to when she was working. She could go to an afternoon matinee at the cinema, amble up the cobbled back streets and poke around the galleries and antique shops. She could browse around the bookshops or sip a cappuccino overlooking the rainbow array of the market. It was all there for the taking.
Nina chose the market.
The scent of fresh fruit and vegetables filled her nostrils and she walked without any real direction between the stalls. Cards for every occasion, cushions, CDs, casual coats, courgettes and chips – it was all there, and Nina ambled happily amongst the shoppers, smiling at everything yet nothing in particular, losing herself in the living labyrinth.
When she finally tunnelled her way out, she had to shade her eyes against the sun and, as she did so, she noticed a small boy crying and pointing up to the sky. She followed his gaze and saw a bright red balloon drifting high above the shops towards the heavens. His mother grabbed his wrist and dragged him away.
For a few moments, Nina stood transfixed, watching the red balloon until it became nothing more than a scarlet pinprick against the sky. Best go shopping for some food, she thought. It would be a new experience to go shopping on a weekday and the very thought of it made her smile. Even the simplest task was beginning to seem like an adventure.
Dominic wasn’t having any luck at all. First of all his mother and brother, Alex, had blocked his car in – again – and then he’d found he was out of petrol. He’d had to beg twenty pounds from his dad in return for a promise to trim the yew hedges at the back of the house, which was a task worth at least fifty pounds of anyone’s money.
And things didn’t get any better when he reached Norwich. Just what was he doing? It was madness, sheer madness to be driving around, getting caught up in the one-way system in the desperate hope of spotting her again. And the lunch hour traffic was hell. But on he drove, narrowly avoiding several careless workers who thought they could cross safely in front of him after having one too many at the pub. But not once did he run into Nina.
Where was she?
Since nearly running her over, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the old days, when he and Alex had been growing up. He had so many fond memories of his childhood and the reappearance of Nina had woken them all up. And his mother was very keen to see her again. If only there’d been more time. If only he’d got her number.
After an honorary lap around the one-way system, he parked his car. He might as well make the most of finding himself in the centre of town, he thought, so he walked around the market, breathing in the scent of fresh flowers and fruit, the salt tang from the fish counter and the glorious smell of hot chips. He wandered about, turning left here, right there, until he surfaced once more into the dazzling light.
It was then that something caught his eye: a small boy was crying and pointing towards the sky. Dominic looked up and saw a red balloon floating away. Poor little mite, he thought and then sighed. Like the little boy, he wasn’t quite sure what he should do next.
He loved the city and often wandered around without a particular direction in mind, and today was no exception because he really didn’t have a direction to follow.
It might be worth going back to the zebra crossing, he thought, but it wasn’t very likely that she’d be there. He was just wasting his time. She was but one person in a city of thousands. But he had to try, didn’t he?
Olivia Milton clinked a second bottle of wine into her shopping trolley and searched her pockets for the list she’d made earlier that morning. It wasn’t there of course. She knew she’d left it on the kitchen table. She also knew that there’d definitely been more on the list than parmesan cheese, olives and Pinot Noir.
She pushed her trolley into the next aisle hoping that, by scanning the shelves, her memory would be jogged and that they’d all actually be able to eat that night.
Olivia always did her shopping on a Wednesday. Nina, on the other hand, had never experienced the pleasure of a supermarket when one was able to move freely through it and not spend longer in a queue than you had spent actually choosing your items. And, also unlike Olivia, Nina had her list with her.
It was the strangest feeling being in a supermarket when she should have had her feet tucked firmly under a desk and her ear glued to a telephone, having orders barked at her by Hilary Jackson. However, now she was unemployed, she became acutely aware of the cost of things and had to make sure that she only got the absolute essentials.
As she turned into the next aisle in the hope of finding a jar of pesto sauce for under a pound, she almost crashed into a trolley that had been left at right angles for all and sundry to trip over and into.
Nina grinned as she saw the contents: two bottles of wine, a slab of parmesan and copies of Hello! and Country Life. She could just imagine the sort of person who’d own such a trolley. Barbour and pearls, she thought. Land Rover and Labrador sort. This woman wouldn’t have to hunt for three-for-two offers or dented tins that had been reduced. Oh, no.
Nina looked down the aisle and gasped. It was her: no Barbour today – it was far too warm – but little pearl earrings, an old-fashioned piecrust blouse and a long loose skirt in a Liberty fabric, which might have made her look terribly middle-aged and dowdy but which, in fact, looked wonderfully regal on her and marked her out as part of the country set. Her red hair was cut sharply and blow-dried to perfection, and her flawless skin was made up with the absolute minimum of make-up.
She watched the woman bend down to reach for a bottle of tomato sauce. It was the next item on her own list and she walked towards the shelf. Leaning forward, the strangest sensation hit Nina – via the nostrils. The most heavenly scent enveloped her and instantly transported her back to her past. An image of a beautiful white Georgian mill house by a river in the heart of the Norfolk countryside. A house that had been hung with heavy printed curtains and filled with huge log-like pieces of furniture in oak. And the two young boys she’d looked after.
It was Mrs Milton.
Nina watched for a moment, just to be sure, smiling at the memories that were resurfacing, before summoning up the courage to speak.
‘Mrs Milton?’ Nina’s voice was quiet, but obviously startled the woman.
‘Yes?’ she said, turning around in surprise.
Nina cleared her throat. ‘I don’t know if you’ll remember, but I used to babysit for you. I’m Nina Elliot.’ Nina watched in amazement as the woman’s face beamed, her eyes crinkling at the edges.
‘Neena! Gracious! I don’t believe it. Are you all right?’
‘Yes, very well, thank you.’
‘No – I mean – after what happened.’
‘Pardon?’ Nina was puzzled. How on earth could Mrs Milton have heard that she’d walked out of her job?
‘Dominic – the car – he told me all about it.’
‘Car? But I don’t have a car,’ she said.
‘No – his car. You know – he nearly ran you over. I was terribly worried. Silly boy.’
Nina’s expression remained one of complete bafflement but then the cogs of her memory slowly turned, releasing the image of the stern face at the traffic lights, the car horns, the panic, the half-recognition.
It had been Dominic. Little Dommie Milton whom she’d once tucked up into bed; the little boy who’d once woken her up because of a nightmare involving giant sunflowers. This same little boy had nearly run her over.
‘Oh, yes!’ Nina exclaimed, ‘But I didn’t know it was him. I mean, I thought I recognised him, but—’
‘But you’re okay?’
‘Yes! Absolutely fine. It was my fault really,’ Nina said. ‘I just wasn’t thinking straight, but I’m fine, thank you.’
‘What a relief. Honestly. He goes around in a dream, that boy. He really shouldn’t be behind a wheel at all. Well, other than a potter’s wheel.’
‘Gosh, how is everyone?’ Nina asked with a smile, trying to imagine the young boys who would all be grown men now.
‘Oh, very well – very well,’ Olivia enthused. ‘Billy’s working in London as a pilot and taking off all over the place. Alex has had about twenty different jobs since graduating and can’t seem to settle to any one of them, and Dommie’s just graduated from art school and is preparing for his first art show in Norwich.’
Nina beamed a smile. ‘You must be so proud of them all.’
‘Oh, I am!’ Olivia said. ‘And you wouldn’t believe it but Dudley and I have our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary this summer,’ she said, as if not quite believing it herself.
‘Oh, congratulations!’
‘Thank you,’ Olivia paused and then her forehead crinkled, ‘only there’s so much to organise! We’ve never thrown such a big party before. We’re having a marquee set up in the garden and a band and balloons and flowers – the works! It’s almost as much fuss as our wedding day.’
‘It sounds like it’s going to be a lot of fun,’ Nina said, remembering the times she’d joined the Miltons for lunches and dinners at the mill and how splendid they’d made even the simplest of meals, with the great table set with silver, glass and fine china. She couldn’t imagine how splendid an anniversary party was going to be.
‘And you must come along, Nina! We’d love to have you as our guest,’ Olivia said. ‘Now, would you mind awfully if I looked in your basket? I’ve come out without my shopping list and I’ve gone completely blank. I can’t remember a single thing we need.’
‘Of course I don’t mind,’ Nina said, trying not to grin as she remembered the wonderful forgetfulness of her former employer.
Olivia looked thoughtful. Milk, bread, a tub of margarine, a small box of nasty-looking soap powder, bananas and an economy pack of tissues.
‘See – I haven’t got any of those. TOILET PAPER!’ Olivia shouted, startling a passer-by before taking off into the next aisle, leaving Nina to stand guard over her trolley. She really was a case. Nina had never managed to work out how she could host a dinner party for twelve and bring up three boys, but never know where to find her lipstick.
‘Here!’ Olivia said, returning with two bumper-sized packs of toilet paper. ‘Thank goodness I ran into you. My head is spinning so much with everything at the moment that the simplest things seem to elude me. Anyway, I simply can’t believe how many years it is since we all saw you. There’s so much to catch up on.’
‘Yes,’ Nina said, trying to remember exactly how many years it had been since she’d last visited the mill. She’d stopped babysitting for the Miltons after going to university, and that was ten years ago now.
‘So, what are you doing with yourself these days?’ Olivia asked her.
Nina bit her lower lip. It was the question bound to be asked sooner or later, but she hadn’t had time to prepare an adequate answer, not thinking she’d ever meet anyone she knew during a weekday trip to the supermarket.
‘Secretarial work,’ she said. ‘Actually, I’ve just finished a job that was – well,’ she paused, ‘it wasn’t right for me and I’m trying to find something that fits, you know? Something where I can really make a difference and feel valued.’
Olivia nodded. ‘Well, you were always valued at the mill. You were our favourite babysitter. You had such a way with our boys. You deserve nothing but the best,’ Olivia said, smiling kindly and then her eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment. ‘Goodness,’ she said. ‘I’ve had the most wonderful idea. You said you’re looking for a job?’
Nina nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said warily.
‘Then I might just have the very thing for you,’ she continued, her eyes widening. ‘How about popping over to the mill tomorrow morning. Are you free?’
‘I am,’ Nina said.
‘Excellent!’ Olivia said. ‘Oh, how exciting this is. I can’t believe it. First, Dommie nearly runs you over and then I run into you! I tell you, this is fate, Nina. It really is. Now, don’t forget about tomorrow – mid-morning?’
Nina nodded, wondering what on earth Olivia had in mind for her.
‘Oh, God! I’ve forgotten the mince!’ Olivia suddenly exclaimed, grabbing her trolley and executing a quick three-point turn, narrowly avoiding the tins of custard. ‘See you tomorrow, Nina!’
‘Goodbye, Mrs Milton,’ Nina called after her, watching Olivia waltz away with her errant trolley.
Grabbing a bottle of tomato sauce in a brand she’d never heard of, but that was offering twenty per cent free, Nina felt a definite skip in her step as she headed towards the check-out. She was going to visit The Old Mill House. With the river rushing by it and buttercup fields and bluebell woods on the doorstep, it was a little piece of paradise in the heart of the Norfolk countryside. It had been years since she’d been there, years since she’d even thought about it, but it had always held a special place in her heart. It would be wonderful to see it again – wonderful to see the boys again. Perhaps, Nina thought, this was the very door she’d been looking to open.
