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‘Well, what then? Was he seeing someone else?’ Janey tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and looked closely at her. ‘You two have been together for longer than I can remember. I think I’ve worked my way through half a dozen relationships in the time you’ve been a couple and I always thought—’ she paused.
‘What?’ Nina asked softly.
‘I don’t know,’ Janey said, a wistful expression on her face, ‘just that I’d be throwing confetti over the pair of you before too long.’
Nina suddenly felt guilty for never having confided in her friend before, and suddenly wondered why that was. But, deep down, she knew why she’d kept quiet – because she’d blamed herself for the problems with Matt and had stupidly gone on believing that things would get better. Only they hadn’t, and she’d finally realised that she had to put a stop to things.
Nina blinked hard, trying to prevent her tears from spilling. She’d promised herself that she wasn’t going to cry because she’d wanted this to happen; she’d made it happen by instigating the break-up with Matt, and yet the huge swelling of unhappiness that filled her shocked her to the core.
‘Do you mind if we change the subject?’ She looked at Janey and, for a moment, neither said anything.
‘Okay,’ Janey whispered, sensing her friend’s discomfort. ‘But that’s not all that’s bugging you, is it?’
Nina shook her head. ‘Like I said last night – my whole life’s a mess.’
‘Come on then – let’s hear it,’ Janey took a sip of wine, as if she needed fortifying before hearing Nina’s next confession.
‘Work,’ Nina said, making the word sound as if it were some newly discovered disease.
‘Well, that makes a change,’ Janey said with a tut.
‘I nearly walked out this morning,’ Nina confessed, closing her eyes and reliving the nightmare again.
‘Why didn’t you, then?’ Janey asked, having long been aware of Nina’s ability to aspire to something rather than to act.
‘But where would I walk to?’
‘God – you’re always so practical!’ Janey chided. ‘You spend far too much time thinking, and not enough time doing. Sometimes you should just go for it.’
Nina sighed. ‘That’s easy for you to say. You’ve got a great job. But not everyone’s dad owns a travel agency and sends his daughter to Greece every other week.’
‘Hey – that’s research for our new brochure!’
‘You’re the only person I know who hasn’t experienced a British winter for the past ten years,’ Nina said good-naturedly.
Janey giggled. ‘I know. I’ve been lucky.’
‘Yes, you have,’ Nina smiled, ‘but you deserve it. The most exotic place I get to visit is the local sandwich bar whenever her ladyship wants a BLT. Other than that, it’s the photocopy room or, on a good day, the stock cupboard. I wouldn’t mind so much if she was civil to me.’
‘She’s a cow!’ Janey stated with a frown.
‘Janey!’ Nina said in a reprimanding tone, although she was laughing, too.
‘Oh, you’re such a saint, Nina, but Hilary Jackson would even make a saint swear. Why don’t you admit it – she’s a complete bitch who doesn’t value you a jot!’
‘Oh, Janey!’ Nina couldn’t help giggling at her friend’s passionate defence of her.
‘What about when she made you take that enormous file home to put all those invoices into date order?’
‘I know, but I guess it was a job that had to be done,’ Nina said with a shrug, before taking the biggest sip of wine she could.
‘Yes, but in company time – not when you had a girls’ night out planned. I bet she didn’t pay you overtime for it either, did she?’
Nina shook her head. ‘No, she didn’t,’ she said, realising that she had been trampled on for so long that even her friend had noticed. Why oh why hadn’t she done anything about it before, she wondered? But perhaps the time was now. After all, she had taken control and ended things with Matt, so surely she could do the same with Hilary, she reasoned. This, she realised, could be a whole new beginning for her.
‘And remember when she swore at you for sending that letter to the wrong director – which was her fault anyway because she couldn’t ever get her facts straight.’
Nina sighed. ‘I know, I know!’
‘And there’s no need for her to be so rude to you all the time. That woman’s got more hard edges than a Neolithic flint! It’s not on.’ Janey shook her head in despair. ‘So what are we going to do about it?’
‘I don’t know – something,’ Nina said, suddenly hiccupping.
‘Oh, no, Nina – not hiccups again! That’s another thing too. I never knew you to hiccup before you took that dreadful job.’
‘Of course I hiccupped! Everyone hiccups.’
‘Yes, but not like that. Not with nervous tension.’
‘It’s not nervous tension. It’s probably just wine,’ Nina said, giving her loudest hiccup yet.
‘You know what you should do, of course? You should just tell Hilary Jackson where she can stick her job and leave,’ Janey advised, getting into her stride as agony aunt.
‘You think so?’ Nina said, a tiny smile emerging at last.
‘Yes I do.’
‘Just like that?’
‘Just like that. Clear your desk out, tell her what you really think of her and go. Easy. You’re far too good to be stuck in that box with Hilary forever. You’re intelligent, attractive—’
‘Soon-to-be unemployed—’ Nina hiccupped again.
‘No! You’ve got to be positive about this. Employers will be trampling over each other to get you on board.’ Janey smiled encouragingly, not happy at seeing her friend so down. ‘Come on, Nina! You’ve been depressed about this for months now. Something’s got to change, hasn’t it? What’s happened to the old girl I know and love – eh? The girl whose picture is in the dictionary under “vivacious”?’
Nina rolled her eyes in disbelief.
‘Well, obviously not today,’ Janey agreed, and a moment’s silence elapsed. ‘Okay,’ Janey began again, ‘let me put it this way. In an ideal world – what would you do? If you could do anything – what would it be?’
Nina looked into her wine glass. What did she want? What did she truly want? She knew it had nothing to do with the present life she was leading, but was an alternative life waiting out there for her? One in which she was truly valued for whom she was? She looked up at Janey.
‘I’d like to go back to the office and press Hilary’s delete button.’
Janey laughed, not really expecting Nina to come out with such an answer. ‘Then do it!’
‘I don’t know. I’ve always been taught not to throw too much caution to the wind in case it changes direction and slaps you in your face.’
‘Look,’ Janey said, placing a tanned hand on Nina’s right shoulder, ‘I think you’ve already made up your mind about this, haven’t you?’
‘Have I?’
‘Yes – you have,’ Janey said, giving her friend’s shoulder a squeeze. ‘So, you might as well try and have a bit of fun. Just repeat after me: “I’m going to tell Hilary where she can stick her job.” Go on!’
‘I’m going to tell Hilary where she can stick her job,’ Nina repeated obediently, suppressing a particularly large hiccup.
Janey smiled. ‘But first, we’re going to have another drink.’
Chapter Two (#uac9d0cfa-760d-5a39-9186-6cbeb26b1806)
Dominic Milton had almost crashed the car at the traffic lights. It had been her, hadn’t it, dancing through the traffic like a ballerina? The same Sahara-blonde bob, swinging neat as a pendulum. The same lovely face with eyes wide and inquisitive. The face he remembered with such affection from over a decade ago. Nina Elliot.
He arrived home, parking his old Volkswagen in the last available space. It was a large driveway by normal standards, but now that both he and Alex had cars as well as their parents, parking was in pecking order, which meant that Dominic was often forced to park further down the lane.
He turned the engine off and sat looking over the dashboard for a moment, remembering the way that Nina had looked at him, accusingly, unknowingly. She hadn’t recognised him, had she?
He sighed and got out of his car. His mother was home. She’d remember Nina. Ambling up the driveway, shopping bag in hand, he fished for his key and opened the front door.
‘Dom, is that you? Dominic?’ his mother’s voice sang through from the kitchen above the sound of a dog barking.
‘Yes.’
‘Did you get my hairspray?’
‘Yes,’ he replied, reaching into the carrier bag for the golden can. He looked at the price sticker and grimaced, wondering if there was such a thing as a drying-out clinic for cosmetic addicts.
‘You’re an angel,’ Olivia Milton said as she walked into the hallway, kissing her son on the cheek. She smelt wonderful, she always did. It was like nothing he’d ever smelt anywhere else; a sort of condensed talcum powder mixed with old roses. Intoxicating, and as much a part of Olivia as her pearl accessories and high heels.
‘I’ve had such a morning – you wouldn’t believe it! Firstly, Andrea Giles phoned telling me there’s been a crisis and that we’ve lost the speaker for the fundraising dinner we’ve got next week, so I’ve been telephoning everyone in my phone book trying to find somebody else who’s both suitable and available. Then I was trying to make a list of everything we need to organise for this anniversary party and my head was spinning at the enormity of it when your father blasts into the room, accusing me of having moved part of his manuscript. “I haven’t been anywhere near your manuscript!” I told him. I wouldn’t dare, Dommie! He bites my head off if I so much as knock on his study door. Honestly, he really needs a secretary or something. He’s quite impossible!’
Dominic grinned, knowing just how difficult his father could be when he was writing his novel and just how melodramatic his mother could be when trying to deal with him.
‘I’m sure everything will work itself out,’ he told her.
It was then that a large fluffy dog tore out of the kitchen, launching itself into the air and crashing into Dominic in his own doggy greeting.
‘Oh, Ziggy!’ Dominic cried, pushing the dog down.
‘He’d absolutely love a walk, Dom!’ Olivia said.
‘You mean you haven’t walked him yet?’
‘I took him out in the garden but you know how he is in the fields. He just drags me along behind him like a ragdoll!’ Olivia said with a sigh.
‘I don’t know why you got him, Mum,’ Dominic said. ‘He’s completely crazy.’
She ruffled the dog’s head. ‘I just couldn’t say no to that face, could I?’ she said in the kind of voice she reserved for animals and small children.
‘You’ve got to get him trained,’ Dominic said, remembering the day five months ago when his mother had arrived home with the out-of-control puppy.
‘I know, I know,’ Olivia said, removing the portion of skirt that had found its way into Ziggy’s mouth before pushing him away from her and turning her attention to her son once more. ‘You all right, Dom?’ she asked, breaking his train of thought.
Dominic looked at his mother. ‘Do you remember Nina?’
‘Nina?’ Olivia walked over to the hall mirror, shook her head upside down and applied a heavy mist of hairspray to her thick red hair.
‘Our babysitter from years ago,’ he added.
‘Oh – Neee-na!’ she stood back up to full height. ‘Well, of course I remember her! She was that lovely girl who looked after you and Alex for – let me see – it must have been at least four years.’
Dominic nodded. ‘That’s right.’
‘Gosh, you were such a cute little boy,’ Olivia said, patting his cheek.
‘I wish you wouldn’t do that, Mum,’ Dominic complained. ‘I’m twenty-one, for goodness’ sake.’
‘Never too old for a bit of motherly affection!’ she said. ‘Anyway, what’s all this about Nina?’
‘I just saw her in town,’ Dominic said.
‘Really? How is she?’
‘No, I didn’t speak to her. I nearly ran her over.’
‘WHAT?’ Olivia shrieked. ‘Is she all right?’
‘Yes, of course she’s all right,’ Dominic said, but felt a pang of guilt as he realised that perhaps he should have stopped the car to find out. Too late now, though. ‘Anyway, I thought you might want to invite her to the anniversary party in August.’
‘That’s a lovely idea. The more the merrier,’ Olivia smiled. ‘And we used to all get on so well with Nina, didn’t we? Gosh, remember that time she came with us to the theatre and you were horribly sick into your bag of popcorn?’
‘Oh, Mum! Don’t remind me.’
‘And the time she stayed over and we all went to that stately home the next day and Alex fell in the moat, silly boy!’
Dominic couldn’t help but grin as he remembered his brother’s misfortune. ‘And Nina waded in after him.’
‘Yes! She was priceless – absolutely priceless,’ Olivia said. ‘I don’t know what we would have done without her. I’ve often wondered what became of her. She was like a member of the family. Gosh, Dommie, I’m so pleased she’s back in touch. Give me her address and we’ll send her an invite for the party. I can’t wait to see her again.’
Dominic almost visibly jumped. He hadn’t thought about that, had he? He hadn’t even known where she’d lived twelve years ago, let alone now. She might not even be living in Norwich at all – she might just have been visiting friends before moving on. She could live absolutely anywhere.
He suddenly felt sick. What if he’d missed his one opportunity of finding her again?
Nina walked slowly back to the office. As she arrived, she surreptitiously cupped her hands over her mouth, checking for signs of alcohol. She couldn’t smell anything that would give her away but she certainly felt light-headed. She tried to banish the smile that was threatening to stretch across her whole face. She’d poured three glasses of wine down her throat. She felt so naughty. She’d never had anything stronger than an espresso during her lunch hour before today. What on earth had got into her? Was it really the spirit of rebellion? Was she really about to assert her true self after months of being nothing more than Hilary Jackson’s doormat?
She opened the door into the airless room where Hilary was inspecting a mound of papers on her desk, which looked as if they’d multiplied threefold since Nina had left. It was Hilary’s usual mean trick. Whenever Nina dared to leave her desk, she would invariably find that her workload had increased out of all recognition when she returned. Well, not any more, she determined. She’d had enough.
‘Ah! There you are,’ Hilary said, making it sound as if Nina had been away on an expedition rather than on her lunch hour. ‘Didn’t you leave me that letter like I asked you?’
‘Yes – it’s on your desk,’ Nina said, indicating as she tried to keep calm.
