Tempted By Collection

She’d had the most amazing five days, and now she didn’t know what was ahead. Hope rose, hope for a future they could share. The hope backed off. She couldn’t make a full commitment to Zac. Her mother made sure of that. There just wasn’t enough of herself to go round. She wasn’t going to try to spread herself too thin. That’s how people got hurt.

Zac lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. ‘Stop overthinking things.’

Did he know what was going on in her mind? Of course not. He didn’t know the half of what went on in her life.

She gripped his hand and turned to stare outside, absorbing every last moment of Fiji.

Olivia shivered as she clambered out of the taxi outside her house. ‘Why does the weather have to be wet and cold tonight of all nights?’ she grumbled.

Zac only laughed. ‘Bringing us back to earth with a thump, isn’t it?’

Grabbing her case, she ran for the shelter of her covered veranda. That’s when she noticed lights on inside. Then the steady beat of music reached her. And her stomach dived. No. Not tonight. Not when I’m so happy.

‘You going to open that door?’ Zac asked.

Not while you’re here. She waved frantically at the taxi driver. He had to take Zac away. Now. Not after that coffee she’d suggested when they’d turned into her street. ‘Wait,’ she yelled.

‘Too late,’ Zac muttered. ‘You don’t want me coming in after all?’

‘I’ve got a headache.’

Zac dropped his case and reached for her. ‘That sudden? I’m picking it’s because there’s someone inside you don’t want me to meet.’ His hands were gentle on her upper arms, his thumbs rubbing back and forth in a coaxing manner. ‘I thought we were better than that, had moved on from the quick visits to something more real.’

So did I, until reality slapped me around the ears. She’d been an idiot to think there was a way around the problem on the other side of her front door. ‘I’m sorry.’ She didn’t want his sympathy—or worse, was afraid of seeing a look of horror in his eyes when he saw how far gone her mother would be.

The sound of her front door being unlocked sent a wave of panic through her. ‘You have to go. Now.’

‘Olivia, darling, there you are. I’ve been wondering where you’d got to and when you’d be back. They wouldn’t tell me anything at the hospital.’

Olivia was a dab hand at interpreting the alcohol-laden slur. One glance at Zac and she knew he was also right up to speed on the situation. Anger—at her mother, at Zac for learning her truth—rolled up and spilled out. ‘Mum, what are you doing here? You know I don’t like you in my house when I’m away.’

A firm hand on her arm stopped her diatribe. ‘Olivia, it’s okay.’

‘No, it’s not. You don’t get it. This is my mother, Cindy Coates-Clark. Mum, meet Zachary Wright, a friend—’ No, damn it. ‘Zac and I have been in Fiji together. We have had a wonderful time and now we’d like to wind down from our flight home. Alone.’

‘Pleased to meet you, Zachary. Call me Cindy.’ A wave of alcohol fumes wafted between them all.

Her mother stepped back and held the door wide, as though it was her place to do so. ‘Do come in.’

‘Thank you, Cindy.’ Zac picked up the cases and nodded Olivia through in front of him. ‘I’ll leave mine just inside the door while we have that coffee.’

‘You still want it?’ When she locked her eyes with his, he nodded.

‘Yes.’ Like there was nothing out of the ordinary, being greeted by a scantily clad woman who was obviously plastered.

Heavy black smudges of mascara covered Cindy’s cheeks, and bright red lipstick had run into the lines around her mouth. Her low-cut top revealed way too much cleavage, and her skirt …

Olivia gulped as anger and disappointment again boiled over. ‘Mum, that was a new suit. I haven’t even worn it.’ And never would now that three-quarters of the skirt had been hacked off. She’d been thrilled when she’d found the emerald-coloured outfit at her favourite shop.

‘It’s far sexier now. You can be so old-fashioned with your clothes, darling.’

‘I wonder why.’ From the day she’d turned thirteen her mother had spent a fortune on buying her clothes that had made her feel uncomfortable even around the cat, let alone the kids she’d hung out with. Humiliating didn’t begin to describe it.

Now Zac was seeing things she never wanted him to know about. ‘Zac, about that coffee …’

‘I’ll make it, shall I?’ He hid his disgust very well. ‘Would you like a coffee, Cindy?’

‘Coffee? I don’t think so. Why don’t you two join me with a gin? Zac, I know you’d like one. You’re a real man. Not like—’

‘Mum, stop it. Now. We are not having gin.’ She stepped into the kitchen and crumpled. Welcome home, Olivia. Welcome back to life as you really know it. Empty bottles lay everywhere. Half-full takeout food containers covered the bench, dirty cutlery and glasses filled the spaces. ‘How long have you been here?’

‘I don’t know. Days?’ Mum sounded confused all of a sudden.

Strong arms wound around Olivia, held her from dropping in a heap. ‘Hey, we’ll get it sorted.’ Zac’s low voice was full of compassion and wove around her like the comfort blanket she’d taken everywhere with her as a toddler. ‘You’re not alone, okay?’

Yes, she was. Her mother was her problem. This had nothing to do with Zac, and never would. Despite the warmth that stole through her at his words. She stayed in the circle of his arms—just for one more minute. Her chin rested on his chest. One minute, then she’d toughen up and face the consequences of having gone away without telling her mother where she was.

Finally she stepped away, put space between her and Zac. ‘You have to go.’

Frustration deepened his voice. ‘No, Olivia, I don’t. I’m with you, at your side, looking out for you.’

On her phone she found the taxi company number and stabbed the button. Forcing a toughness she didn’t feel on her face, she snapped, ‘I’m not asking, I’m telling you to go.’ Someone from the taxi company answered and she rattled off directions, ended the call. ‘They’ll be five minutes.’

He gave no further argument, just kissed her softly. ‘Good night, sweetheart. Talk to you in the morning.’

‘No, Zac. Don’t. It’s over. We’re done. Permanently.’ It was the only way forward for her.

But when the front door had closed behind him Olivia leaned against the hall wall and felt her heart crack into pieces. It had taken this for her to realise her hope for the future with Zac was actually love for Zac. She wanted to be with him, to give him so much, to share a life. To openly show him her love. To try to be the woman she hadn’t thought she could be. But that mess in her kitchen told her otherwise. Dreams were fairytales.

Sliding down the wall, she wrapped her arms around her legs, dropped her head on her knees, and let the tears come. She hadn’t cried over her mother for so long but there was no stopping the torrent. For a brief time she’d let hope into her heart, had wanted more with Zac. How dumb could she get? This had always been going to happen. Therefore, the sooner the better. Now she could move on, without Zac, and do what she’d always done—survive and look out for her mother.

Zac stared at Olivia’s house until the taxi turned the corner at the end of the street. His throat was dry, his heartbeat slow and his gut knotted tight. What a difference twenty-four hours made. From sexy and fun in that red dress to heartbroken at home, it was like Olivia had flipped from one person to another.

Now he understood so much. The control she constantly maintained over herself and everything around her was a coping mechanism.

There’d be no controlling her mother.

Olivia didn’t want to be like her mother.

The glimpse of worry when he’d said that dress was so different from what he was used to seeing her in now made sense.

‘Well, hello, you’re nothing like your mum.’ Despite having spent only a few minutes with Cindy and not knowing anything about her, he knew Olivia was the polar opposite from her mother.

But you didn’t have to kick me out like I mean nothing to you.

When Olivia had mentioned her mother was an alcoholic he’d had no idea what that meant in real terms. Drunk and disorderly didn’t cover it. Cindy whined like a spoilt brat, created chaos. She’d helped herself to her daughter’s clothes, ruining them in the process. Helped herself to the house, the contents of the kitchen, and trashed it as only belligerent teenagers did. What had that woman done to Olivia’s life? Her sense of belonging, her future?

The resignation in CC’s eyes had hit him hard. She was responsible for that woman, and he knew all about responsibility. He’d learned it the hard way. Hopefully Olivia hadn’t, but deep down he knew this situation went a long way to explaining why she ran solo.

You don’t have to be alone any more.

Olivia wasn’t made for that. She was loving, caring, sharing, and a whole load more.

The taxi pulled up in Quay Street. His apartment building loomed above, dark and unwelcoming. He’d rather be back at Olivia’s house, no matter the mess inside. He wasn’t thinking about the state of the kitchen.

But you sent me away, Olivia. Again.

As Zac rode the elevator to his floor a slow burn began in his belly. He’d been shoved out of Olivia’s life for a second time. She hadn’t given him a chance to stay, to talk about it, to do any damned thing except get out of her life. What had their holiday been about if not learning more about each other and getting closer?

Learning that I love you, Olivia. Do you know that? Do you know I’ve broken all my rules for you? That for the first time ever I’m seeing a future that’s got people in it—you and our children.

The doors slid apart but Zac didn’t move. The itch had gone.

The doors began closing. Sticking his foot in the gap so they opened again, Zac hoisted his bag and dragged his feet towards his apartment. He’d pour a whisky and try to fathom where to go from here.

How damned typical that when he’d finally fallen in love he wasn’t wanted.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

‘DON’T HANG UP, OLIVIA.’ Zac didn’t give her time to say hello. ‘This is about Josaia.’

‘I’m listening.’ Olivia could listen to him all day, but of course she’d spent the last ten days doing her damnedest to push him away, out of her head, her heart. She missed him so much it was unbelievable. It was like her heart and mind were stuck in Fiji mode with Zac, talking and laughing, while her real life was grinding along without any joy.

‘Theatre’s booked at the private hospital for Saturday morning. I’ve managed to inveigle a free bed for four nights so we’re set to go.’ Zac sounded upbeat and pleased with himself. As he should be. He’d been hassling everyone he knew to get Josaia’s surgery organised. All the staff assisting were doing it gratis. No surprise there. When Zac wanted to he could charm the grumpiest of old men into putting his hand in his pocket and handing over his life savings.

‘You should start a charity organisation for kids like Josaia,’ Olivia acknowledged.

‘I should? You’re the one who knows how to pull at people’s heartstrings. Look at how successful Andy’s gala night turned out to be.’

Had she pulled Zac’s heartstrings? Ever? Even a teeny-weeny bit? Why was she wondering when a yes only added to her grief? Staying away from him was hard enough already. She only talked to him about Josaia’s upcoming surgery, cutting him off the moment he started on about anything personal. ‘I’ll see you at the motel at five.’ They’d decided between themselves to pay for a motel unit for the family close to the hospital. Zac was picking up Josaia and his family from the airport later in the day. Tomorrow they had a free day, and then it would be D-day.

‘You could come with me.’

‘I’ve got a clinic starting at two.’

Zac sighed, his upbeat mood gone. ‘Promise me you’ll be at the motel. It’s important for Josaia.’

She didn’t make promises. Her word was usually enough. ‘I promise.’ I do?

‘Are you sure you’re not a secret needleworker?’ Zac asked from the other side of the operating table on Saturday. ‘You’re so patient, creating delicate stitches even where the outcome won’t be visible to anyone.’

Olivia glanced up at him, her heart stuttering when his dark eyes locked on hers. ‘I could’ve taken up knitting.’

‘That’d be messy.’ He grinned. She mightn’t be able to see his mouth behind that mask but his eyes were light and sparkling.

Olivia concentrated on her patient. She’d reopened the wound that ran down the side of Josaia’s face and removed tissue causing lumps where the previous stitches had been pulled too tight. Now she was painstakingly suturing layer after layer, careful with each and every stitch. While it was what everyone saw on the outside that upset Josaia, she could make it so much better by preparing the underneath muscle properly.

‘You want to close the shoulder wound once I’ve worked on Josaia’s shoulder?’ Zac asked. ‘We might as well go for broke and have everything looking as close to new as possible.’

‘Make those kids want their friend back.’

Kay looked up from her monitors. ‘I hope Josaia tells them where to go.’

‘I suspect he might after this,’ Zac told the anaesthetist. ‘He’s been different ever since we said we could operate. Hopeful, expectant. Which puts the pressure on us.’

Olivia clipped the end of her last suture and straightened her back. ‘There you go, young man. As good as new.’

Zac swapped places with Olivia. It was his turn to set things right for Josaia. ‘Let’s hope I can do the same. At least no one gets to see what I do.’ He picked up a scalpel.

‘They will on the outside. It will be great to see Josaia with his confidence back, swimming and diving with the best of them.’

‘I hope he finds some new friends. He doesn’t need the old ones.’ Olivia swabbed as Zac made incisions. ‘But I guess Josaia doesn’t have a lot of choice on the island.’

‘It must be hell for his family, seeing how he’s treated. No parent would want their child to suffer like that.’ Zac exposed the collarbone, where it had been broken. ‘Re-breaking this is kind of awful. The kid’s going to be in pain for a while.’

‘Think about how those pins you’re going to put in will help him. One day he’ll appreciate it.’ The sooner the better if the boy was to make a full recovery with friends and school.

‘Right, let’s get this done.’ He reached for the first pin.

As soon as the surgeries were completed and Josaia was wheeled away to Recovery, Olivia and Zac went to put the family at ease.

Then they headed for the car park and Zac suggested lunch downtown. ‘We could go to the Viaduct.’

‘Sorry, Zac, but I’m not hungry.’ She’d eaten very little over the last couple of days, food making her feel nauseous.

‘What’s going on, Olivia? Don’t give me the “nothing” reply. I won’t believe you.’

The steel in his tone overwhelmed her. She could feel her body being pulled towards him. It would be so easy to lean in and let go of her problem for a while. The thing with that was that her mother wasn’t going to go away; would be there causing havoc when she finally took up the reins again. Tightening her spine, she told him, ‘I have an appointment in an hour, and before that I need to hit the supermarket.’ Though why when she wasn’t eating she had no idea. That had just dropped into her head when she was trying to sound convincing to Zac.

‘An appointment with who?’ Of course he went for the important part of her statement.

‘A lawyer, a psychologist, and a cop,’ she blurted, close to unravelling. Had to be why she’d answered with the truth. She needed to get away from Zac fast, before she became a blithering idiot and spilled her guts all over his classy leather jacket.

Where was her car key? Scrabbling around in the bottom of her bag didn’t produce it. Tipping the contents onto the bonnet of her car, she couldn’t believe it wasn’t there. Great. Just great.

‘This what you’re looking for?’ Zac swung a key from his finger.

Snatching it from him, she began throwing everything back in her bag. ‘Where did you find it?’

‘Where are you meeting these people?’

‘At home.’ She bent to pick up her wallet from where it had slipped onto the tarmac.

‘I’ll drive you. Come on.’ He took her elbow.

She tugged free. ‘I can drive myself. Anyway, I can’t leave my car here.’

Zac’s hand was back on her arm. ‘You can and you will. I’m taking you home, Olivia.’

That got her. Slap bang in her heart. She didn’t pull away. She couldn’t. She needed Zac, and, as frightening as that was, she went with the desperate longing to have someone at her side. ‘Next you’ll be telling me you’re coming to the meeting.’ Geez, had she just said that with hope in her voice?

‘I’ll make the coffee.’

He did more than that. Even when she nodded at the door for him to leave he stayed and listened as the horrible facts about her mother were aired and discussion began on what to do about Cindy. The truth was that there wasn’t a lot that could be done unless her mother committed to a programme and went into care. Her latest hideous deed, arrested for driving while drunk on Thursday, made Olivia’s stomach churn, and when she lifted her eyes to Zac’s she fully expected to see total disgust all over his face. But no. His hand engulfed her shaking ones, his thumb rubbed back and forth over her fingers, and his eyes were full of understanding.

Olivia needed to leap up and drag Zac to her front door, push him out, and lock it behind him. She wanted him here with her, holding her hand as he was. Split right down the middle, her emotions were raw and out of control. She aimed to do what she always did when this happened and focus on her mother’s current situation. But it wasn’t working. The words were going in but they weren’t registering as clearly as they should.

By the time the meeting was over she was as aware as ever that her mother was a ticking time bomb and unwilling to take charge of herself. It had been suggested Olivia walk away, make her mother face up to her situation, but she didn’t think she could do that. It would go against everything she believed in. Even now, when she was fighting Zac’s pull, fighting this deep, paralysing need to let him into her life, she had to hold on to the only way she knew how to cope with her mother—by standing strong, alone.

Shutting the front door behind the lawyer, she leaned back against it, closing her eyes. Did she even have the energy to make it to the kitchen where Zac was waiting? She had to tell him to leave. It was getting to be a habit.

‘Hey,’ Zac said from somewhere in front of her. ‘You need to go to bed and get some shut-eye.’

‘I have to check Josaia’s doing okay.’

‘I’m going to head in there shortly so I can let you know if there’s anything you need to deal with. I spoke to the ward sister while you were showing that lot out and she says he’s doing fine. The family are with him.’ Zac draped an arm over her shoulders and led her down the hallway in the direction of her bedroom. ‘When did you last sleep properly?’

‘I have no idea.’

‘Get into bed and I’ll make you a hot chocolate.’

Olivia sank onto the edge of her bed. ‘Hot chocolate? I haven’t had one of those in years.’ Since I had measles and Dad looked after me. Huh? Dad had done that? Yeah, he had, just as he’d once spent lots of time with her. Before he’d got jaded and bitter about Mum, and had made another life.

Zac pulled her to her feet again. ‘No, you don’t. Let’s get you into your PJs first.’ He began unbuttoning her shirt and it was nothing like last time when he’d made her body hot with need. This loving gesture filled her heart with gladness and relief.

‘I’ll manage.’ Her fingers worked the zip on her trousers. When Zac reached her door she called, ‘Hey, you. Thank you for … everything.’

He came back and kissed her on each cheek. ‘Told you I was here for you.’

Scary. ‘Zac, I don’t do being looked after.’ Deep, deep breath. ‘You have to go. You have to stay gone this time. Please.’ Her voice cracked over the lump of tears clogging her throat.

Zac shrugged. ‘Here’s the thing. I don’t do walking away from someone I care about either.’

Had Zac just said he cared about her? No, he couldn’t have. She must be asleep already, having a dream. At least it wasn’t a nightmare.

Zac let himself out of Olivia’s house and made sure the door locked behind him. With a bit of luck Olivia would sleep right through until tomorrow. One thing for certain was that she needed to.

It was about the only thing he was sure of, he thought as he climbed into his vehicle and slammed the door against the light rain. That, and the fact she wouldn’t be letting him back into her house tomorrow morning.

Looking up the path to her house, he recalled some of the comments made by the lawyer, and wondered just what sort of childhood Olivia must’ve had with a mother so far off the rails. What woman wanted to dress up as her daughter’s lookalike? Wanted to hang out with a bunch of giggly teens? One eyebrow rose. Olivia a giggly teen? Hard to imagine.

Slowly pulling away, he kept going over everything he’d heard about Cindy Coates-Clark. How cruel of Olivia’s father to leave her to deal with her alcoholic mother, especially when she’d been so young.

Toot, toot. A quick glance in the rear-view mirror showed a truck up his boot. He waved. ‘Sorry, mate.’ And planted his foot, roaring away from the corner.

He’d go see Josaia, then head home for the night. Tomorrow morning he’d take breakfast to Olivia’s house.

Think that’s going to win you entrance to her lair, do you?

No, not a sod’s chance, but he had to try, if only to show her he wasn’t repelled by anything he’d heard today. If anything, he was more determined to be a part of her life. At the moment he’d take the crumbs, but he fully intended to win her over completely so they’d have a future together.

His hand clenched, banged the steering wheel. Damn—families could be such screw-ups. He and Olivia had got the pick of them. What was Mark like as a father? Did he show his boys he loved them? Would he blame them for everything or walk out of their lives when the going got tough? And if he did, who would be there for them?

I would. But he didn’t know the boys. Not really. Only one way to rectify that. But he and Mark didn’t get along. So go fix that. Start at the beginning and get to know your brother again, learn to put the angst behind you and love him as you always did, always have.

Olivia rolled over onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. The sunlit ceiling.

‘What time is it?’

Eight thirty-five, according to the screen on her phone.

She’d missed a load of texts while in the land of nod, starting last night.

Josaia says hi to Dr Olivia. He’s doing fine and can’t wait to be up and running around, despite the pain. Hope you’re sleeping and don’t get this till the morning. Hugs, Zac.

Thinking of you, and wishing we were back on Tokoriki enjoying dinner under the palm trees. More hugs, Zac.

Hitting the sack now. See you in the morning.

No, you won’t. I’ve got a mother to sort out, and wounds to lick.

Outside your door with breakfast.

Had Zac knocking on the door been what had woken her? Olivia leapt out of bed and headed down the hall.

Wait up. You’re going to let Zac in? Think about this. Is it wise when you’re going to walk away from him again? It’s not fair on him to be running hot and cold all the time. Either let him into your life or cut all ties—now.

Her feet dragged as she turned for the kitchen and the kettle. Strong coffee was needed. Her heart was so slow it was in danger of stopping. She didn’t want Zac gone but what else could she do? She had nothing to offer him.