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That ought to set tongues to wagging.
Tessa had broken his heart so completely that he had burned through the stages of grief not once, but every single year since that day. For years, the first Saturday of June had tortured him with memories—only now it was far worse than just a recollection.
Tessa was sitting there alive and in person, right in line with his gaze, rocking his baby, looking exactly the way he’d always pictured she would when they started a family together.
Jo was right. Tessa was a natural mama if there ever was one—but then, Cole had always known she would be.
Only Grayson wasn’t her baby.
And Cole couldn’t stand one more second of this torture. He had to get out now, before his emotions got the better of him. Because the only thing worse than what he was feeling right now would be for Tessa—not to mention the whole community gathered around him—to see just how far he had fallen.
“Time to give my little cowboy a diaper change,” he muttered. Anything to get the baby out of Tessa’s arms. He reached for Grayson, intending to make a quick exit, but Jo was too fast for him.
“Now wait just one moment, dear. I’m ashamed to say we don’t yet have a portable changing table in the men’s restroom. Never even gave it a second thought until now. I promise y’all that particular item has just been bumped to the top of my to-do list.”
“Oh. I—uh—” After seven weeks he would have thought he could work out simple issues like this, but he kept stumbling upon new ones. Where did a single man change a baby’s diaper in a small-town café?
During the first few weeks, when he’d been settling the legal paperwork between him and the baby’s mother, he’d lodged with a navy buddy, Emilio Gonzalez, and his wife, Ella. He’d appreciated spending time with Ella, who was an experienced mother of six and a wonderful, patient teacher. Having a woman’s touch around was invaluable, in more ways than he cared to count. Truthfully, he’d let poor Ella do much of the work. He realized in hindsight that he should have been throwing himself into learning the ropes as he had in the navy. Watching and doing were hardly the same thing.
Cole sighed inwardly. Grayson would be better off if he had a woman’s influence in his life, and Cole silently acknowledged that he needed the help. But that was not reality for him and Grayson, and it might not ever be. He was on his own, and he’d never felt as powerless as he did in that moment, with everyone’s eyes on him.
A little help here, Lord, he prayed silently.
“You don’t have to leave on account of Gray’s diaper,” Jo assured him. “The ladies’ room is fully equipped. Tessa, would you do the honors? Where’s your diaper bag, son?” She directed her first question to Tessa and her second to Cole. Her eyes were sparkling with mischief and Cole cringed. Good ol’ Jo, ever the matchmaker.
He pointed to the giraffe-print bag on a nearby table. Jo dug through the bag for a diaper and wipes while Cole shifted his gaze to Tessa. She looked like a cornered wild animal, her eyes darting around the room as if looking for a quick way to escape.
In any other situation, he might have found the whole thing amusing, but there was not one single thing funny about having to share breathing space with Tessa, much less having her commandeer his baby, even if it was only for a diaper change.
“You’ve never changed a baby before?” he guessed, his lips quirking. Even on her worst day, she couldn’t be half as inept as he’d been his first few go-rounds, but he would shoot himself before he ever admitted that aloud.
Her auburn eyebrows hit her hairline. “It...it’s not that. I don’t mind changing Grayson for you. I’ve had my fair share of experience handling babies now and again. I was just wondering—that is—is your wife around? I don’t think we’ve met.”
Of course. Tessa didn’t know he wasn’t married. He’d hoped that particular tidbit would make its way around town and he’d never have to encounter that question. It was just like Tessa to have avoided the gossip. He wondered what people were saying, exactly. Folks were going to make all the wrong assumptions unless he set them straight. In a down-home, conservative little Texas town like Serendipity, things were done right and in the proper order.
First comes love, then comes marriage, and then comes the baby in the baby carriage.
Only that’s not how it had been for Cole. To his everlasting shame, Grayson wasn’t the product of love or marriage. That didn’t mean Cole didn’t love his son with all his heart. Grayson was far and away the biggest blessing God had ever given him. He had such awe and wonder about this new little human being. The curve of Grayson’s ears, his fingers and toes, the way the baby already responded to Cole’s voice in the dead of night when it was just the two of them awake and rocking to a lullaby.
It might not have happened the way he would have planned, but it had happened, and being a father to Grayson was Cole’s new mission, more important than anything he’d done in the navy. More important than anything he’d ever done in his life.
He was not proud of how he’d gotten to this point, but he was proud of being here, of being Grayson’s father. As for his son’s mother...
“I’m not married,” he admitted softly, sliding his chair closer to hers so they wouldn’t be overheard.
Tessa’s brow rose again, and Cole frowned. She didn’t have to gape. This didn’t bode well for how the rest of the town was going to take the news.
“I see,” she murmured.
No, she didn’t. She hadn’t a clue about the man he’d become. He wasn’t the bright-eyed kid who’d dated her all through high school. Not even close.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said.
“I’m sorry.” Her tone was punctuated with bitterness. “I had no right to ask.”
She was taking it personally. This wasn’t personal. It had nothing to do with her at all. “You couldn’t have known.”
“I’ll just— Let me go take care of his diaper real fast for you, and then you can have the baby back,” she stammered.
He watched her make a quick exit into the ladies’ room, the sweet, fruity scent of her perfume lingering behind her. He blew out a frustrated breath and threaded his fingers through his hair.
He was quick to acknowledge his own part in his disaster of a life, but he had faith that the Lord would use it for good, even if he didn’t have any idea how that might work out for him, or for Grayson. He could only put himself and his baby in God’s capable hands.
He didn’t know why the Lord had set him on this path, but he imagined he must be even more hardheaded than he’d realized. Most horses could be broken with a whisper. It appeared he needed the sharp jerk of a bit to get him moving in the right direction.
When Tessa returned with his still-happy infant, she immediately deposited Grayson into Cole’s arms. He adjusted his son to his shoulder and gently patted his back.
“After I saw Grayson was with you, I completely spaced on the reason I came to Cup O’ Jo’s in the first place,” she admitted with a forced chuckle.
“A cupcake?” Tessa’s friend stepped into Cole’s line of vision and dropped into the conversation as if he belonged there. “Here’s temptation for you.” He waved the chocolate-iced cupcake under Tessa’s nose.
Red velvet.
Even though Cole couldn’t see what the chocolate icing was hiding, he was absolutely certain of it. Tessa had always been partial to red velvet with chocolate frosting. He personally thought it was an odd combination—a whipped white cream cheese frosting suited him fine—but he’d always humored her.
She made a face at the man. “You get a pass for abandoning me back there, but only because of the cupcake.”
Tessa’s friend turned a winsome smile on Cole that seemed a little over the top, given the circumstances. He ought to save his charm for the ladies. But when he extended his hand, Cole had no choice but to respond.
“I’m Marcus Ender, by the way. Boys’ counselor at Redemption Ranch.”
Cole shifted Grayson so he could meet the man’s hand with his own. He might have been guilty of adding a little extra pressure to his grip, but a handshake told a lot about a man. Surprise flashed in Marcus’s gaze at the strength of Cole’s grip, but he didn’t break the contact until Cole did.
A challenge? Marcus’s gaze said it all. He was looking out for his friend, and Cole had better not hurt her. Cole tempered his naturally aggressive response. He couldn’t fault Tessa’s friend’s overprotective instincts, he supposed. Marcus didn’t have any way of knowing Cole would never hurt Tessa. Not intentionally, anyway.
“I’m Cole—”
“Bishop,” Marcus finished for him. “Yeah. I know.”
And he didn’t sound too thrilled about it, either.
Cole’s hackles rose, and the hair on his neck stood on end. What exactly had Tessa told Marcus about him?
It couldn’t be good. He was probably better off not knowing. But it rankled him nevertheless.
Grayson whimpered in protest as Cole’s arm tightened.
“Sorry, little man,” he murmured in the baby’s ear.
“Red? You were saying?” he reminded Tessa. “Why you came over to Cup O’ Jo’s in the first place?”
“Red?” Marcus snorted and burst into laughter, but it instantly died when he was simultaneously punctured by both Cole’s and Tessa’s glares. He held up his hands in a sign of surrender.
“I was over at Emerson’s before I came here,” Tessa explained. “Edward asked me to give you a message.”
Cole relaxed his stance, rocking back on the heels of his boots. He hadn’t realized how tense he’d been since Tessa had walked into the café, and all this time it had been about a feed order.
If his day could get messed up this quickly just by the sight and scent of Tessa, he didn’t have a prayer of ever truly settling down and making a life here.
“The feed’s ready?” he offered, hoping to stay within comfortable bounds of conversation.
“All loaded up in your pickup and ready to go.”
He pressed a breath from his lungs. “Thanks for the heads-up. I think poor Grayson here has had about as much doting and loving from the community as he can handle for one day.”
Grayson? Forget the baby. Cole’s head was whirling.
His gaze met Tessa’s, and he could see she was thinking the same thing.
First time out of the chute. No score.
Cole cleared his throat. “Best be getting home. It’s about Gray’s nap time.”
“Right, okay,” Tessa agreed with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I guess Marcus and I will see you later, at the meeting.”
Tessa blended into the crowd, and Cole reached for the handle of the giraffe diaper bag, slipping it onto his shoulder. Even after all these weeks, it still felt odd to him to tote around a bag that was similar to a woman’s purse. Chalk that one up to necessity—diapers, wipes, bottles, pacifiers, toys. He tried to ignore the way the bag tromped all over his masculinity.
“Are you leaving?” Jo bustled up to Cole and reached for his bicep. “Can you wait just one more moment, dear?”
Cole nodded, but he tensed when Jo made a beeline toward Tessa, who was speaking to Dr. Delia and her husband, Zach. Jo linked elbows with Tessa and drew her back in Cole’s direction.
“If I could have a quick word with the two of you?”
What now?
Tension rippled across Cole’s shoulders and down his spine. Jo Spencer was the nicest woman a man could know, but she was also a little bit scheming when it came to matchmaking. She had a bird’s-eye view from her spot behind the counter of Cup O’ Jo’s, and she tended to see what was what—or who should be with whom—far before the rest of Serendipity caught on.
Well, as long as it wasn’t matchmaking, Cole would be all right with whatever Jo had in mind.
“Alexis and I were talkin’ about the upcoming summer barbecue.”
Electricity bolted through him at Jo’s words. His gaze locked with Tessa’s. She looked every bit as shocked as he felt.
Not the June BBQ. Anything but that.
“She was telling me she’d like to see the teens get involved this year. We usually relegate them to set up and clean up, and I suggested that they might want to do something different this year—entertainment. The band we contracted with backed out on us. Slade and Samantha have pulled together some musicians for dancing, but Alexis really wanted the kids to do something special for the townsfolk, give them a little show. Do you think you two could get together and work something up for us? A scene from a musical, perhaps? The planning committee would sure appreciate your efforts, my dears.”
Was she kidding? A scene from a musical? No way was that going to happen. Cole and Tessa had first met—first kissed—performing a scene from a musical. And they had broken up at the June BBQ. The beginning and the end of their relationship.
Cole had no intention of helping those kids do anything, musical or otherwise. Working with delinquent teenagers wasn’t even in his skill set. Besides, he wasn’t going to the barbecue, much less participating in it.
“Why don’t you ask Marcus?” he suggested through gritted teeth. “He’s the boys’ counselor, after all. He ought to be the one leading this thing, don’t you think?”
Jo barked out a laugh. Even Tessa chuckled.
“Honey, that man cannot carry a tune for a second, much less an entire musical number. He’s as tone-deaf as a rock. As I recall, you have a beautiful baritone voice. Surely you’ll step up and share your talent for the good of the community—and the teenagers.”
Jo was goading him—and she was good at it. He remembered all the many times growing up when she’d set him on the right path. Part of him instinctively reacted as if he were still a child, but he was a grown man now, and he had no intention of being pushed into a situation that would be nothing but trouble for him, and for Tessa, too.
Why wasn’t she speaking up?
“We’ll see what we can do,” Tessa said.
What?
“Great! Can’t wait to see what you two come up with.” Jo scuttled away before he gave his own answer—which would have been a no. He didn’t even have the opportunity to raise another objection, not that Jo would have listened to it.
Cole leaned into Tessa’s personal space, meeting her emerald-eyed gaze square on. “What are you thinking?” he demanded. “You know as well as I do that we can’t do this.”
“I admit it’s not ideal.”
“Not ideal? It’s plain crazy.”
Tessa sighed. “We would have given in eventually. You know Jo. I just saved us having to scrap with her.”
He hated that Tessa was right. Jo would have won in the end, stubborn woman that she was. But how could they get over...everything...to work together in such a capacity? At the moment he couldn’t even go there in his mind.
“I can’t see how this is going to work,” he muttered crossly.
“That makes two of us. But it has to happen, Cole. We have to put our differences aside for the sake of the teenagers. They deserve the chance to do something good and to experience the community’s positive response to their actions.”
Honestly, his mind wasn’t on the teenagers. It was on himself and his own discomfort. Was this the Lord’s design to give him the opportunity to step out in faith—and completely out of his comfort zone? If it was, it was way, way out.
Right out of the frying pan and straight into the fire.
Chapter Three (#ulink_8c77b0d7-87d3-5a1c-845b-fd446da85dbc)
Tessa straightened her color-coordinated file folders, one for each of the incoming teenagers, and laid them atop a lavender-colored three-ring binder, in which she kept all her additional notes. At the moment, she was the only one sitting at the Haddons’ dining room table.
Early as usual.
She usually took the extra time before the meeting to pray for the incoming teenagers and quiet her heart so she would be open to whatever new challenges lay ahead, but after what had happened earlier in the day at Cup O’ Jo’s, she couldn’t get her mind or her emotions to stop buzzing around like a hive of angry wasps. Unlike bees, which stung once and died, wasps had the capacity to sting over and over again.
Cole was a single father.
While that explained a lot, it still filled her with confusion. No wonder he’d returned to Serendipity. He was bound to need the help of his family and friends to raise Grayson. She imagined it was hard to go it alone. He was blessed to have his brother Eli and sister Vee and their spouses living close by. Plenty of aunts and uncles to spoil little Grayson.
She couldn’t help but wonder how the whole single dad part of it had come to be. That wasn’t the sort of information a man shared with an ex-girlfriend, especially one with whom he’d had such a conspicuous breakup.
