скачать книгу бесплатно
HOPE
HOPE HAD BEEN TRYING ALL afternoon to get Jake’s attention. Now she had it. But after knocking down the cowboy who’d been bothering her, Jake’s blue eyes were cold, his granite features set in angry lines.
“I saw this coming from the moment you set foot in Amanda’s backyard,” he said as he grabbed her arm and hauled her out of Miss Carter’s gazebo—or what was left of it. Two of the five sides were lying splintered on the ground, a result of the brief fracas between Jake and the young cowboy who’d gotten drunk enough to lay a hand on Hope in a place where it didn’t belong.
Hope spared one glance for the cowboy, who lay groaning on the ground, before Jake’s implacable grip propelled her toward Miss Carter’s kitchen. This confrontation had been coming all afternoon, and she welcomed it. At least Jake would be forced to talk to her.
When they got to the kitchen, it was full of women, so Jake nodded curtly and kept moving. Down a narrow hallway. Through the parlor.
Up the creaking wooden stairs. Down another hallway. And into a bedroom that obviously belonged to Miss Carter.
The baby-pink bedspread was girlish, but that was the extent of the frivolity in the room. Miss Carter had always been a no-nonsense English teacher. Her bedroom gave proof that there hadn’t been much fun in her life.
A shepherdess figurine with a broken arm sat on the dresser, along with what appeared to be a plain wooden jewelry box. An iron lamp and a paperback book—a horror novel by Stephen King—rested on the bedside table. A painted green kitchen chair occupied the corner. A worn pink bathroom rug was all that stood between Miss Carter and the wooden floor on a cold morning.
Hope felt her heart sinking. If Jake knew where Miss Carter’s bedroom was, that probably meant he’d been here before. Which only made sense. After all, he and Miss Carter had been engaged for three years. It would have taken a miracle for Miss Carter to put Jake off that long. Hope hadn’t been able to resist his charms for three seconds.
Jake thrust her inside the room and shut the door, then leaned back against it with his arms crossed, his eyes narrowed on her. “Well, young lady, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Hope firmly believed that you didn’t get what you didn’t ask for. She’d been the one to pursue Jake all along. Nothing had changed in three years, but her gut still clenched as she said, “I love you, Jake. And I think we belong together.”
Jake sucked in a breath, and a muscle flexed in his jaw. She waited breathlessly for him to respond to her declaration, but his lips remained pressed flat in disapproval.
Which left her no choice but to act.
She closed the distance between them—two short steps—and stood with her breasts almost touching his crossed arms. He was a great deal taller than she was, but Hope refused to be intimidated by his size—or the forbidding look on his face. She glanced up at him from beneath dark, fringed lashes and said, “You love me, too, Jake. Admit it.”
That statement demanded an answer, and Jake didn’t disappoint her. “Damn you, Hope. Give it up.”
“Never.” Her chest felt like it was bound by an iron band, and she was having trouble breathing. She hadn’t been this close to Jake since she’d gone away to college, but her feelings hadn’t changed in the intervening years. She needed some proof that his hadn’t either.
Three years ago, when she’d cornered him in her father’s barn, the sexual sparks had flown. He’d gotten himself engaged to Miss Carter so quickly afterward, that she figured he must have done it to keep himself safe from temptation.
Her heart was pounding furiously with excitement—and with fear. What if he went through with the wedding? What if she couldn’t make him see what she’d known since the first moment she’d laid eyes on him?
“It’s destiny, Jake. We’re two halves of one perfect whole. We’re—”
“Cut the crap,” he said harshly.
Hope heard the revealing gurgle as she swallowed back the threatening tears. She laid her hands flat on Jake’s chest above his folded arms, undaunted by his rigid posture, and felt him inhale sharply. He wasn’t as unaffected as he wanted her to think.
“All right, if you don’t want romance, think of the practical ways I’d be a helpmate if you married me.”
Jake snorted.
“I have a degree in computer science with a minor in business. For a start, I’d be able to do the bookkeeping on the ranch.”
“I have an accountant who does that for me.”
“But you wouldn’t have to pay me,” Hope said with a smile meant to charm. It didn’t seem to be working, so she added, “And I’m very good with kids.”
“That’s because you’re a kid yourself,” he retorted.
“I’ve seen a great deal of the world,” she continued doggedly, “and I can tell you, Jake, there’s no place like home. I’d never leave you like…” Hope broke off as she saw the muscle flex again in his cheek. No sense bringing up memories of his previous failed marriage.
She knew Jake’s experience with a wife who wasn’t satisfied to live on an isolated northwest Texas ranch was part of the reason he didn’t trust his feelings for her. Once before he’d succumbed to the charms of a younger woman, and she’d left him high and dry. “I’m not like her,” Hope said softly.
“You’re exactly like her,” he accused. “Young and flighty and—”
“That’s not fair,” she said, her hands sliding down and clutching his folded arms. “There’s nothing ‘flighty’ about me. I’m dependable and hardworking and loyal—”
“And too damned young for me.”
She let the tips of her breasts graze his forearm and felt his whole body stiffen. “Maybe three years ago I was,” she conceded. “Not anymore. I’m twenty-one, a college graduate, a world traveler, a—”
“Baby!” he spat. “You’re a goddamn babe in the woods. How many men have you slept with, Hope?”
Hope blushed a rosy red, but she didn’t retreat. “I don’t want any man but you. I’ve never wanted any man but you. I’m a virgin, Jake, and I will be until you—”
“Shut up, Hope.” The muscles in his forearms had turned to stone. “Shut the hell up.” She could feel him withdrawing as her arms slid up his rock-hard chest toward his nape, but with his back to the door, there was nowhere for him to go. His eyes locked on hers, hot and hungry.
Suddenly, their positions were reversed. Jake had her by the shoulders, his body imprisoning hers against the door, and she could feel the hard male ridge against her abdomen that put a lie to all his protests. She saw the struggle in his eyes, felt the tautness in his body.
“I’m not going to do this,” he said.
“Then I will,” she said as she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his.
For a moment, he resisted her. For a fraction of a second, she thought all was lost. She softened her mouth against his, sliding the tip of her tongue along the crease of his lips.
His whole body quivered. He lifted his head and looked at her, his eyes heavy-lidded. “Aw, hell,” he muttered. His mouth came down on hers, and he took her fast and deep.
She’d forgotten how it felt to be kissed by Jake, like sliding down a fast chute where there was no end in sight. She was on her toes, her body clasped hard against his, and she could feel his heart pounding in his chest. She couldn’t catch her breath, couldn’t catch up, the feelings were so powerful, so overwhelming.
Suddenly, their positions were once more reversed, and she was standing the width of his outstretched arms away.
“You have to stay away from me, Hope.” The anger was back again. And she heard desperation in his gravelly voice.
“I’m going to marry Amanda. And I intend to be a faithful husband. Don’t do this again.”
“What is it I did, Jake?” asked Hope, whose anger matched his. “If you were really in love with Amanda, you would’ve let someone else rush to the rescue when that cowboy got fresh with me. And you wouldn’t have brought me here where we were sure to be alone. You wanted what just happened to happen. Because you l—”
“Don’t say it, because it isn’t true,” he interrupted. “I brought you here because it’s obvious to me—and it must be to anyone who cares to look—that you’ve got some kind of juvenile infatuation for me. It’s embarrassing to be mooned over by someone half my age.”
The insult hurt, as she was sure Jake intended it should. But she didn’t let it discourage her. “You were jealous of that cowboy. Admit it. You don’t want anyone touching me but you.”
“Grow up, Hope,” Jake said. “This childish behavior has to stop.”
“You’re the one who brought me up here, Jake,” she retorted. “You kissed me back.”
She saw the flush rise on his cheekbones. The admission that he wasn’t blameless.
He let her go and leaned his head back against the door, rubbed a hand across his eyes and heaved a sigh. “I came up here hoping we could straighten out this…whatever this is between us. I was hoping you’d see reason.”
“I’m fighting for my whole life, Jake. I’m trying to get you to see that you don’t belong with Miss Carter. You belong with me.”
“This isn’t getting us anywhere.” Jake reached for the doorknob, but Hope’s hand covered his.
“Why can’t you see what’s staring you in the face?” she pleaded.
“I’m engaged to someone else,” he said. “Even if I wanted to change my mind, I couldn’t. I’d never do that to Amanda. She’s waited three years—”
Hope’s eyes had gotten round as she listened to Jake. She could see a tiny crack of light, where before there had been darkness. For the first time, he was talking in terms of changing his mind. “You’re the one who’s been putting off the wedding?” she asked. “Not Miss Carter?”
“It’s been mutual,” Jake said.
“Why has she been putting it off, if I may ask?”
“That’s between her and me.”
“Well, why have you been putting it off?” she persisted.
“That’s none of your business.”
“I think it is,” Hope said. “I think you’ve been waiting for me to grow up,” she said with the beginning of a smile. “I think you’ve been hoping I would come back from all my travels and convince you—”
“That’s enough,” Jake said. “The fact is, Amanda and I have set a wedding date. Nothing’s going to change that now.”
“Lots of people decide not to go through with their weddings,” Hope argued.
“When I make a promise, I keep it,” Jake said.
Hope cocked her head and frowned. “Even if it means being miserable for the rest of your life?”
“Amanda and I are well matched,” he said. “We can be happy together.”
“I notice you’ve never once said you love her,” Hope pointed out.
“My feelings for my fiancée are my business.”
“If you tell me you love her, I’ll go away, Jake. I won’t say another word. I’ll accept the fact that I’ve lost your love to another woman, and I’ll let you go.” Hope’s stomach was turning somersaults. What if he said he loved Miss Carter, just to get rid of her?
Luckily for her, Jake was too honest to lie. “I want you to leave me be, Hope. I want you to keep your distance from me between now and the wedding.”
“Give me one good reason why I should,” she said.
“Because if you love me, you’ll understand how hard this is for me. My word is given. And I’m not going back on it.”
Hope swallowed past the painful knot that had grown in her throat. “You don’t play fair, Jake.”
He didn’t say anything, just looked down at her, a wall behind his blue eyes that shut her out.
“All right, Jake,” she said at last. “I won’t purposely tempt you again.”
She felt some of the tension ease out of him.
“But I’m not going to leave town. I’m not going to hide myself from your sight. I’m going to be right here every day from now until you commit yourself to Miss Carter. And I’m going to hope that between now and then you come to your senses.”
She looked up at him and said, “Open the door, Jake. And let me out.”
He seemed to realize suddenly that he was standing in her way, blocking the exit. He stepped aside, opened the door and held it while she walked from the room, shoulders back, chin up. She could feel the heat of him following her down the stairs. She was aware that he was no longer behind her when she headed into the kitchen. She greeted the women working there with a smile and said, “Need any help?”
“We’re about done,” one of the women said. “Things have pretty much wound down since that rumpus in the gazebo.” The woman glanced over her shoulder narrow-eyed at Jake, who’d appeared in the doorway, and said, “You need a ride home, Hope?”
Hope smiled more brightly, aware of Jake’s presence at her shoulder, and the worried, confused and distrustful looks on the faces of the other women. “I’m riding with Faith and Randy,” she said. “I’ll find them and be on my way.”
She was out of the kitchen and into the backyard a moment later. The sun was setting, and the fenced backyard was nearly deserted. Faith sat on the steps of the wrecked gazebo with Randy beside her. She rose as Hope approached her.
“Are you all right?” Faith asked.
Hope kept the smile pasted on her face for Faith’s sake. Her sister knew far too much about her feelings as it was. “Jake and I had a little talk and ironed things out.”
“Oh?”
Faith had a way of getting her to spill the beans by looking sympathetic. “I agreed to keep my distance,” Hope said.
“Did you, really?”
“Why do you sound so surprised?” Hope said irritably. “He’s engaged to Miss Carter. The wedding is in two weeks.”
“I thought you might have had some luck changing his mind,” Faith said, sliding her prosthetic hand around Hope’s waist. “You can be very convincing.”
The knot was back in Hope’s throat. “He doesn’t love her,” she said fiercely. “But he’s going to marry her anyway.”
“Well,” Faith said. “Maybe he is. And maybe he isn’t.”
Hope frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“There’s many a slip twixt the cup and the lip,” she said. And grinned at Randy.
“What’s going on?” Hope said, glancing from Faith to Randy and back again.
“Faith doesn’t want you to give up,” Randy said. “Isn’t that right, Faith?”
“Right,” Faith said. “If you love Jake, you have to keep fighting for him. No matter what.”
“I told him I’d keep my distance,” Hope said.
“How much distance was it you promised him?” Faith asked.
