English Caricature and Satire on Napoleon I. Volume I (of 2)

17 Thermidor

A plot discovered by Fouché against the First Consul, and three hundred, supposed to be implicated in it, sent to the Tower.

Insurrections in different parts of the Capital, on account of the excesses of the soldiers, and the contribution of twenty millions. Cannon planted at all the principal avenues, and a heavy fire of grape-shot kept up against the insurgents.

Lords Nelson, St. Vincent, and Duncan, Messrs. Addington, Pitt, Sheridan, Grey, twenty Peers and Commons, among the latter is Sir Sidney Smith, tried by the Military tribunals, for having been concerned in the insurrection against France, and sentenced to be shot. Sentence was immediately carried into execution in Hyde Park.

17 Thermidor

The Dock-yards ordered to send all the timber, hemp, anchors, masts, &c., to France. The relations of the British sailors at sea, sent to prison till the ships are brought into port, and placed at the disposal of the French. Detachments dispatched to the different Counties to disarm the people.

The Island ordered to be divided into departments, and military divisions – the name of London to be changed for Bona-part-opolis– and the appellation of the country to be altered from Great Britain, to that of La France insulaire– Edinburgh to take the name of Lucien ville– Dublin, that of Massen-opolis.

BRITONS! can this be endured? – Shall we suffer ourselves thus to be parcelled off? – I hear you one and all say, No! No! No! – To your Tents, O Israel! – for BRITONS NEVER WILL BE SLAVES.

* * * * *Pidcock’s Grand Menagerie,With an exact representation ofBUONAPARTE,The little Corsican Monkey,As he may probably appear at the above Receptacle of Foreign Curiosities, on, or before, Christmas 1803

Ladies and Gemmen!

This surprising Animal was taken by Admiral John Bull, of the True Briton, one of his Majesty’s principal Line of Battle Ships. He possesses the Cunning of the Fox, the Rapacity of the Wolf, the bloodthirsty Nater of the Hyena, the tender Feelings of the Crocodile, and the Obstinacy of an Ass. He has rambled over several parts of the world, where he played a number of wicked and ridiculous Tricks, particularly in Egypt; there he had like to have been nabbed by Sir Sidney Smith, but contrived to steal away to France, where, after a Time, exerting all the bad Qualities he possesses, he so far got the better of his own species as to reign King Paramount over Thirty Millions of poor deceived Monkeys. ‘Come, come, Jacko; don’t look Melancholy, you shall have your Gruel with a Crust in it presently.’ Ladies and Gemmen, if I was to quit him an Instant, he would play a thousand figaries; break all your Crockery, drink up your Wine, play the Devil and Doctor Faustus with your Wives and Darters; eat your Provisions, steal your Goods and Chattels, and commit more Mischief here, than he did in Egypt. He’s of unbounded Ambition, and, by some fortunate Strokes of good Luck, more than by his Abilities, proved very successful in his Deceptions; but this Luck was not to last for ever. Puf’t up, as full as a blown bladder, with conceit, he thought he coud conquer the four Quarters of the Globe: when, sailing with a party of large Baboons, who were called his body Guard, he stole, one dark Night, out of Boulogne Harbour, to make an attack, and seize the Island of Great Britain; where he assured his Companions of immense Wealth by their Plunders. But Admiral BULL coming up with him by break of day, when he was half Seas over, gave them a Broad Side, and woud have sunk them outright; but seeing the Crew were nothing but a Collection of miserable, deluded, poor, Brutes, he turned them adrift, and only seized their Leader to shew him as a Curiosity.83

A suggestion was made that two could play at the game of Invasion, and ‘John Bull landed in France’ is a caricature by West (August 29, 1803). He is in cavalry uniform, and, mounted on his lion, is pursuing the French troops, who, bestriding frogs, are in full flight. The terrible old man roars out, ‘D – m me, but I’ll put your Cavalry to the hop – I only wish I could find out your Commander.’ But Boney is looking out of a cottage chimney, remarking, ‘Mercy on me, what a terrible fellow. I think I am tolerably safe here!’

West (August, 1803) describes the ‘Three plagues of Europe.’ Bonaparte figures as ‘The Turberlent Mr. Fightall’; Pitt as ‘The Honourable Mr. Taxall’; and the Devil as ‘The Worshipful Mr. Takeall.’

CHAPTER XXXV

INVASION SQUIBS AND CARICATURES, continuedSongTHE INVASIONCome listen every Lord and Lady,‘Squire, Gentleman, and Statesman,I’ve got a little Song to sing,About a very great Man!And, if the Name of BonaparteShould mingle in my Story,’Tis with all due submissionT’ his Honour’s Worship’s Glory.Bow, wow, wow, &c.The kindness of this philanthropicGentleman extending,From Shore to Shore, Colossus like,Their grievances amending,To Britain would reach, if he could,From fancied Ills to save ye;But tho’ he likes us vastly well,He does not like our Navy!Bow, wow, wow, &c.With Egypt, once, he fell in Love,Because it was the high Road,To India, for himself and friendsTo travel by a nigh Road;And after making mighty Fuss,And fighting Day and Night there,’Twas vastly ungenteel of us,Who would not let him stay there.Bow, wow, wow, &c.A Nobleman was sent to him,For Negotiation able,And Bonaparte kindly setHim down at his own Table,And in a Story, two Hours long,The Gentleman was heard in,Whilst our Ambassador declar’dHe could not get a word in.Bow, wow, wow, &c.With Belles and Beaux the drawing-roomOne morning it was quite full,And Bona, like a Bantam cock,Came crowing rather spiteful;He then began to huff and bluff,To show that War his Trade is;He scolded all the Englishmen,And frighten’d all the Ladies!!!Bow, wow, wow, &c.From Malta, next, he took his Text,My Lord look’d rather blue on ’t;For every Trick the Consul had,My Lord had one worth two on ’t;Why, Gen’ral, says he, ’Sdeath and Fire,Unless you cease these Capers,They’ll publish every word you sayIn all the English Papers.Bow, wow, wow, &c.My Lord, says he, you needs must see,I pity British Blindness,And wish to open all your Eyes,Out of pure Love and Kindness,To make a generous People free,My Legions shall pell mell come,What think you then? – Why, Sir, I thinkThey’d be more free than welcome.Bow, wow, wow, &c.When I come o’er, I’ll make all BritonsLive in perfect bliss, Sir,I’m sure they will receive me justAs kindly as the Swiss, Sir.The Odds an hundred are to oneI fail, tho’ Fortune’s Minion.Says our Ambassador to him,I’m quite of your opinion.Bow, wow, wow, &c.My Lord, says he, I’ll take the Field.You’d better take the Ocean.My plans are deep. —Why, yes, they’ll reachThe Bottom, I’ve a Notion.What would the English think to seeMe ’twixt Boulogne and Dover?Why, General, they’d surely thinkYour Worship half seas over!Bow, wow, wow, &c.Your Government I’ll tame, says he,Since War you are so fond on;I’ve got my will in Paris here,And wish the same in London;I’ll rule your great John Bull! says he,I have him in the Ring, Sir. —Says John, I’ll not be rul’d by you,Nor any such a Thing, Sir.Bow, wow, wow, &c.Then bring my Flag, invincible,A Scot took it long ago, Sir.For now I think, your ships I’ll sink,And never strike a Blow, Sir,A clever Man has found a plan,A plan he’s surely right in,For if you beat the British Fleet,It must not be at Fighting.Bow, wow, wow, &c.Quite frantic now, he vows Revenge,The Moment that he’s landed,And proudly boasts, we cannot hopeTo fight him single handed.What, single handed, we can do,His troops shall know full well soon;For him, he learn’d it long ago,From single handed Nelson.Bow, wow, wow, &c.Now, since their Minds are quite made up,Let me on this Occasion,Make one request to Neptune: ShouldThey dream of an Invasion;To bring them safely out of Port,On gentle Billows guide them,To where a set of British BoysMay anchor close beside them.Bow, wow, wow, &c.

Reference is made to Napoleon’s attempts to stir up sedition in Ireland in ‘An attempt on the Potatoe bag,’ by some artist unknown (August 1803). It shows an Irishman trudging along towards Dublin, having on his back a huge sack of potatos, which Napoleon is slitting, allowing the potatos to escape. Says Bonaparte: ‘I say, Paddy, Give up the bag quietly, and you shall have this Purse of Gold.’ But Paddy replies: ‘I see what you are at, you sly Teaf of the World; you may cut out a few of the Potatoes that are rotten at the core – but, by St. Patrick, you’ll never get the whole bag – so you may pocket your Cash, and march home and be D – d.’

Dean Swift’s ‘Gulliver’ is very frequently used as a motif for caricature, and Charles etched (August 1803) ‘Gulliver and his Guide, or a Check String to the Corsican.’ King George, as King of Brobdingnag, is seated in a gallery, looking through the invariable glass at Gulliver (Napoleon), who is climbing a flight of steps to get at him; but he has a rope round his neck, which is held by a sailor armed with a stout oak cudgel. Says the King: ‘Ay, what! what! Does the little Gulliver want my C *** n! Let him come, and he will soon find how ’tis protected. Hearts of oak are our ships, Jolly tars are our men, &c. &c.’ Napoleon, throttled by the rope, exclaims: ‘If these fellows did not keep such a tight hand over me, I would soon try how that Ornament would fit my head.’ Whilst the sailor, who has him in hand and checks his advance, calls out: ‘Avast there, my little fellow; for, D – n my Timbers, if I don’t take you Aback before you reach the end of your Intended travels. So pull away, pull away, I say, for the tight little bit of land in the Ocean.’

There is a charming libel on Napoleon in a periodical publication, called ‘Ring the Alarum Bell,’ No. 3, August 27, 1803 (I believe it only reached four numbers), the heading of which is, ‘Atrocities of Brutus Napoleone Ali Buonaparté, who now pretends to be at war for restoring the Knights of Malta, and who told the Egyptians’ (July 1798), ‘that he was a true Mussulman, and had been to Malta, on purpose to drive from thence those Christian Infidels, the Knights!!!’

After a most scurrilous and incorrect version of his life, this precious paper gives us a thrilling account of ‘The Corsican’s Drowning his own wounded Soldiers, and his Thievery.

‘During the early engagements at Mantua with General Wurmsur, the hospital for the French who were wounded was at Como. Some officers, who are ready to swear to the truth of their assertion, passing through this town in the month of April 1800, were informed by the inhabitants that one morning they beheld, with unspeakable horror, the dead bodies of a number of French soldiers floating upon the surface of the lake, whom this infamous assassin, Buonaparté, had ordered to be cast into it on the preceding night. Every one of these unfortunate wretches were soldiers who had suffered amputation of some member or other! This monster caused, at the same time, not only the dead, but even the sick, in the hospitals to be thrown pell-mell into a ditch at Salo, on the Lake of Guarda. It is a fact, well-known in Upper Italy, that the Curate of Salo died with grief at the sight of this horrible transaction.

‘The pecuniary robberies of the Corsican are innumerable. At Leghorn he caused a servant of the Grand Duke to bring him all the plate belonging to that Prince, and kept himself an inventory, in order to examine whether any article was missing. At Pisa a British nobleman (the Marquis of D – ) was robbed of his carriage, and other effects, by a party of French Hussars. Buonaparte appropriated the carriage to himself, and afterwards made use of it at Milan. France was then in a state of profound peace with the Grand Duke. At Milan, Buonaparte imprisoned the Nobles, and, in order to procure their release, their consorts brought their diamonds to the wife of the Usurper.’

The following might well go as companion to ‘Pidcock’s Menagerie’: —

Most WonderfulWONDER OF WONDERS

Just arrived, at Mr. Bull’s Menagerie, in British Lane, the most renowned and sagacious Man Tiger, or Ourang Outang called

NAPOLEON BUONAPARTE;

He has been exhibited through the greatest Part of Europe, particularly in Holland, Switzerland, and Italy, and lately in Egypt – He has a wonderful faculty of Speech, and undertakes to reason with the most learned Doctors in Law, Divinity, and Physic – He proves, incontrovertibly, that the strongest POISONS are the most Sovereign Remedies for Wounds of all kinds; and by a Dose or two, made up in his own Way, he cures his Patients of all their Ills by the Gross – He Picks the Pockets of the Company, and by a Rope,84 suspended near a Lantern, shews them, as clear as Day, that they are all richer than before – If any Man in the Room has empty Pockets, or an empty Stomach, by taking a Dose or two of his Powder of Hemp, he finds them on a sudden full of Guineas, and has no longer a Craving for Food; If he is rich, he gets rid of his tædium vitæ; and, if he is over-gorged, finds a perfect Cure for his Indigestion. – He proves, by unanswerable Arguments, that Soupe Maigre, and Frogs, are a much more wholesome food than Beef and Pudding– and that it would be better for Old England, if her Inhabitants were all Monkeys and Tigers as, in times of Scarcity, one half of the Nation might devour the other half. – He strips the Company of their Cloaths, and when they are stark naked, presents a Paper on the Point of a Bayonet, by reading which they are all presently convinced that it is very pleasant to be in a state of Nature. – By a kind of hocus-pocus Trick, he breathes on a Crown, and it changes suddenly into a Guillotine. – He deceives the eye most dexterously; one Moment he is in the Garb of the Mufti: the next of a Jew, and the next Moment you see him the Pope. – He imitates all Sounds; bleats like a Lamb; roars like a Tiger; cries like a Crocodile; and brays most inimitably like an Ass.

He used also to perform some wonderful Tricks with Gunpowder; but he was very sick in passing the Channel, and has shewn great aversion to them ever since.

Admittance, One Shilling and Sixpence

N.B. If any Gentleman of the Corps Diplomatique should wish to see his Ourang Outang, Mr. Bull begs a Line or two first; as on such Occasions, he finds it necessary to bleed him, or give him a Dose or two of cooling Physic, being apt to fly at them, if they appear without such preparation.

‘John Bull and the Alarmist’ is as well drawn as any of Gillray’s caricatures (September 1, 1803). Sheridan, in the character of a bill-sticker, having under his arm a sheaf of ‘Loyal Bills, Sherry Andrew’s Address, Playbills,’ &c., and, with a bonnet rouge peeping out of his pocket, is telling John Bull the two last lines of the first verse of the subjoined song.

The old boy stands resolutely before the throne, which he is ready to defend with his huge oak cudgel carved with a bulldog’s head, and, whilst nourishing himself on a tankard of ale, tells his informant his opinion of his intelligence in the words of the second verse: —

John Bull as he sat in his old Easy Chair,An Alarmist came to him, and said in his Ear,‘A Corsican Thief has just slipt from his quarters,And is coming to Ravish your Wives and your Daughters!’‘Let him come, and be D – d!’ thus roar’d out John Bull,‘With my Crab-stick assured I will fracture his Scull,Or I’ll squeeze ye vile reptile twixt my Finger and Thumb,Make him stink like a Bug, if he dares to presume.’‘They say a full Thousand of Flat bottomed Boats,Each a Hundred and Fifty have, Warriors of Note;All fully determin’d to feast on your Lands,So I fear you will find full enough on your hands.’John smiling arose, upright as a post,‘I’ve a Million of Friends bravely guarding my Coast,And my old Ally, Neptune, will give them a dowsing,And prevent the mean rascals to come here a lousing.’

I know not from what source the statistics relative to the strength of the French flotilla, contained in the subjoined broadsheet, are taken. It purports to be an extract from a French letter: —

CITIZENS OF ENGLANDYOU HAVE BEEN TOLD THATBONAPARTEWILL NOT ATTEMPTInvasion:

Read the following detailed Account of his Preparations, and ask yourselves whether those who tell you so, are your Friends or your Enemies.

‘The Alertness of our People, employed in the several Yards along the Coasts, never had a parallel. I reckon 11,000 Ship-Carpenters, and their necessary Assistants, Labourers, &c., employed here, and at Calais, Dunkirk, and Ostend, besides those at Work on the Boats preparing at Ghent, Bruges, and Antwerp.

‘At Boulogne, we have 36 Gun Boats ready, each carrying three heavy Pieces of Ordnance, Two fore, and One aft; besides 152 of what are called Flat Bottomed Boats; but they are now generally rounded below, and keeled. In three Weeks Time, we expect to have as many more in a State of perfect Readiness.

‘At Calais, several of the Floating Batteries, that opposed Lord Nelson, when he attacked Boulogne, are now fitting up, and about seventy boats that will carry 150 Men each.

‘At Dunkirk, and the adjacent Canals, there are 47 Gun boats ready, with remarkable heavy Ordnance; and not less than 220 Boats for carrying men. They count upon being able to send 400 of these vessels (great and small) to Sea, in less than Three Weeks.

‘At Ostend, the Gun Boats, Floating Batteries, and Vessels for carrying Soldiers, that are now, and will be, completed during the present month, amount to 487. They work here during the Whole of the Moonlight nights.

‘I cannot, at present, exactly ascertain what Number of Men are employed, at Bruges and Ghent; but they are extremely numerous. Such is the case at Antwerp.’

But not one of these vessels dared shew her nose out of harbour, for every French port in the Channel was blockaded by English men-of-war, of which there were some five hundred, of different sizes, afloat. Sometimes this blockading business got tiresome, and it was relieved by an occasional landing, on which occasions mischief to the French, in some shape or other, was always included in the programme; or a vessel would be cut out, or a few shells would be thrown into a town such as Dieppe or Havre – anything to vary the monotony. At home they were bragging and blustering of what they would do; afloat they were doing, and we cannot tell from what fate their action saved us.

Woodward drew an amusing sketch of ‘John Bull shewing the Corsican monkey’ (September 3, 1803), who is represented as seated on a Russian bear, which is muzzled and led by John Bull, who thus expatiates on his charge to the delighted audience: ‘My friends and neighbours, this is no monkey of the common order; he is a very cholerick little gentleman, I assure you. I had a vast deal of trouble to bring him to any kind of obedience – he is very fond of playing with globes and scepters – so you may perceive, I let him have one of each made of Gingerbread – in order to amuse him in a strange country.’

A not very witty picture, ‘Buonaparte on his Ass,’ by an unknown artist (September 14, 1803), represents Bonaparte on a donkey, which has got itself in a terrible mess through trampling on Italy, Switzerland, Holland, and Hanover, and is endeavouring to reach Malta, which, however, is protected by the British Lion. Napoleon opines that, ‘This d – d ass gets so entangled and unruly, I’m afraid I shall never be able to reach Malta.’

O’er countrys I’ll trample, where threats may prevail,But must let those alone where they will not avail,For on looking around me to find where to prance,To touch Malta, might be destruction to France.

Woodward drew (September 16, 1803) ‘The Corsican Macheath,’ with Napoleon singing: —

Which way shall I turn me?How can I decideThe Prospects before me?I long for to stride.But ’tis this way – or that way,Or which way I will,John Bull at his Post,Is prepared with a Pill.

CHAPTER XXXVI

INVASION SQUIBS, continued– TALLEYRAND’S DISINCLINATION TO INVADE ENGLAND

‘A full and particular Account of the Trial of Napoleon Buonaparte before John Bull,’ drawn by Woodward, etched by Cruikshank (September 14, 1803), is a broadside not remarkable for artistic merit; it does not even give a fair idea of Napoleon’s features. The letterpress is as follows: —

The Court being opened, and John Bull on the bench, Napoleon Buonaparte was put to the Bar, charged with various high crimes, thieving, and misdemeanours. Counsellor Tell Truth opened the case on the part of the prosecution, as follows:

Counsellor. May it please your worship Mr. John Bull, and Gentlemen of the Jury, From the Indictment now before you, you will perceive the prisoner stands charged as follows: that he, Napoleon Buonaparte, on the 28th of December, 1793, caused at Toulon, when the siege was over, fifteen hundred men, women, and children, to be fired upon with grape shot; that by these means he became a favourite of Robespierre, and, in concert with that destroyer, did on the 13th Vendemaire, October 4, 1795, sweep the streets of Paris near the Pont Neuf with artillery, and covered the steps of St. Roch with heaps of slaughtered bodies; the persons massacred on the whole amounted to about eight thousand. At Pavia, the magistrates having interfered to save the people from the bayonet, were bound together, and shot by his order; he also burnt the town of Benasco, and massacred the inhabitants. At Alexandria he gave up the city to his soldiers for four hours; the old people, women, and children, flew to the mosques, but the mosques were no protection from brutal fury, though Buonaparte professed himself a Turk; – at Jaffa, horrid to relate! three thousand eight hundred prisoners were marched to a rising ground, and there destroyed by means of musquetry, grape shot, and the bayonet; in short, his various massacres, robberies, and pillage, are too numerous to bring forward. I shall only observe, that this gentle, this merciful man, at the above place, Jaffa, finding his hospitals crowded with sick of his own army, caused the whole to be poisoned; thus, in a few hours, five hundred and eighty soldiers died miserably by order of their General – ; so says Sir Robert Wilson.

John Bull. Mercy on me, Mr. Tell Truth, let me hear no more, it will lift my wig off with horror!!!

Counsellor T. T. I shall briefly observe, that this man, after overrunning all Italy, France, Holland, Switzerland, stealing our beloved George’s horses at Hanover, and various other sacrifices to his unbounded ambition, had the audacity to declare he would invade the happy shores of Great Britain, and disturb the fireside of honest John Bull and his children; but he was stopped in his career by a single English seaman, who will lay the particulars before the Court. Crier, call in Tom Mizen.

Crier. Tom Mizen, come into Court.

John Bull. Now, Mister Mizen, what have you to say?

Tom Mizen. You must know, Mr. Bull, having, as it were, lashed myself to a love of my King and Country, and hearing the land lubber at the bar was about to bring over his Cock boats; I thought myself, in duty bounden, to see what sort of game he was after; so, rigging out my little skiff the Buxom Kitty, I clapped a few pounders aboard, with an allowance of grog, and set sail; when I got near Bull-hog-ney – I think they call it so in their palaver – but I never can think of their outlandish palaver, not I – howsomdever I soon spied a little gun boat or two, and on board one of them I saw a little pale-faced olive-coloured man in a large cocked hat, taking measure of the sides: may I never set sail again, said I, if that is not little Boney – so I made no more ado, but got ready my cordage and grappling irons, and after one broadside, towed the little gentleman into Brighton.

John Bull. Bravo, Mister Mizen – now let us hear what Mynheer Dutchman has to say.

Dutchman. Indeed, Mynheer Bool, I have nothing to say in his favour – he has robbed me of my liberty, my money, and everything that is dear to me.