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A foreign emotion twisted in his gut. Jealousy. For a moment he didn’t want to acknowledge it. But as he absorbed the camaraderie between his father and Raine, he couldn’t deny the truth.
His father had grown closer to Raine in the time since she’d pushed him away.
Raine couldn’t believe that Dr. Frank was actually Caleb’s father. She’d never really known if Frank was the retired vet’s first or last name, and hadn’t asked. They’d had an unspoken agreement not to pry into each other’s personal lives. But now that she saw the two of them in the same room, the resemblance was obvious. Dr. Frank’s hair was mostly gray, whereas Caleb’s was dark brown, but the two men shared the same stormy gray eyes and aristocratic nose. Of course, Caleb was taller and broader across the shoulders but his dad was no slouch. In fact, she thought Dr. Frank was rather handsome, all things considered.
Caleb would age well, if his father’s looks were any indication. And for a moment regret stabbed deep. As much as she needed to move forward, it was difficult not to mourn what might have been.
“What time do you want me to pick you up?” Caleb asked his father.
“I can give Dr. Frank a ride home if he needs one,” she quickly offered.
Caleb’s eyebrows rose in surprise, as if he suspected she had some sort of ulterior motive. Was he assuming she was trying to get back into his good graces by helping his father? If things were different, she might have been tempted.
“That’s very kind of you, Raine,” Dr. Frank said. She could have sworn the older man’s gaze was relieved when he turned back toward his son. “There’s no need for you to come all the way back out here, Raine will drive me home. Thanks for the ride, Caleb. I’ll see you this weekend, all right?”
“Yeah. Sure.” For a moment Caleb stared at her, as if he wanted to say something more, but after a tense moment he turned away. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from calling out to him as he headed for the door. “See you later, Dad,” he tossed over his shoulder.
He didn’t acknowledge Raine as he left. And even though she knew it was her fault, since taking a break from their relationship had been her idea, she was ridiculously hurt by the snub.
Trying to shake off the effects of her less than positive interaction with Caleb, she faced Dr. Frank. “So, are you ready to get to work?”
Caleb’s father’s glance was sharp—she should have known he wouldn’t miss a thing. “Do you and my son know each other?”
She tried to smile. So much for their rule to stay away from personal things. “Yes, we both work in the emergency department at Trinity Medical Center,” she admitted. “Caleb is a great doctor, everyone enjoys working with him.”
“Everyone except you?”
She flushed, hating to think she’d been that transparent. Especially when she liked working with Caleb. Too much for her own good. “I like working with him, but I’m thinking of changing my career to veterinary medicine,” she joked, in an attempt to lighten things up. “Maybe you’ll give me some tips, hmm? Come on, let’s head to the back. I think I should take a look at that ankle of yours.”
“Caleb already looked at it.” Dr. Frank waved her off. “I’m more interested in the animals. I’m going to need you to bring them to me in the exam room as my mobility is limited.”
“No problem.” Raine wanted to help, but as he deftly maneuvered the crutches, she realized he was doing fine on his own.
Dozens of questions filtered through her mind, but she didn’t immediately voice them. Caleb obviously hadn’t mentioned her to his father during the time they’d been seeing each other, which bothered her. Especially since he hadn’t even talked about his father very much.
What else didn’t she know about him? And why did it matter? What she and Caleb had was over. For good. No matter how much she missed him.
Dr. Frank didn’t notice her preoccupation with his son. His attention was quickly focused on the sick animals.
She brought Rusty into the room, the Irish setter puppy they’d rescued three weeks ago. She’d fallen for Rusty in a big way, especially when everyone teased her that Rusty’s dark red coat was the same color as her hair. But unfortunately the lease on her apartment didn’t allow dogs, which was why she’d taken Spice, the calico cat, instead.
But when she did have enough money saved to buy a house, she planned on adopting a dog, too. Hopefully one just as sweet tempered and beautiful as Rusty.
“There, now, let me take a listen to your heart,” Dr. Frank murmured as he stroked Rusty’s fur. The dog had been in bad shape when he’d been picked up as a stray, and he’d shied away, growling at men, which made them think he might have been abused. Raine didn’t know how long he’d been on the streets, but he’d been dangerously malnourished when he’d arrived. And he’d been sick with some sort of infection that had soon spread to the animals housed in the kennels near him.
She held the dog close, smiling a little when he licked her arm. “You’re such a good puppy, aren’t you?”
“He’s definitely doing better on the antiviral meds we’ve been giving him,” Dr. Frank announced, finishing his exam. “Let’s move on to Annie, the golden retriever.”
Volunteering at the shelter had saved her from losing her mind in her dark memories. Raine found she loved working with the animals. The hours she spent at the shelter flew by. She barely had enough time to run home to change, after dropping off Dr. Frank, before heading off to work.
As she entered the emergency department, she saw Caleb standing in the arena. When his gaze locked on hers, her stomach knotted with tension. Was she really up for this? Working in Trauma with Caleb? She quickly glanced around, looking for the charge nurse, determined to avoid being assigned to his team.
Unfortunately, there were only two trauma-trained nurses on duty for the second shift, so she had no choice but to work in the trauma bay. And, of course, Caleb was assigned to the trauma bay as well.
Her stomach continued to churn as she took report from the offgoing nurse. As they finished, a wave of nausea hit hard, and she put a hand over her stomach, gauging the distance to the bathroom.
She swallowed hard, trying to figure out what was wrong. Could she have somehow gotten the virus that seemed to be plaguing the animals at the shelter? She’d have to remember to ask Dr. Frank if animal-to-people transfer was even possible.
Sipping white soda from the nearby vending machine helped and Raine tried to concentrate on her work. They’d transferred their recent patient up to the ICU but within moments they’d received word that Lifeline, the air-rescue helicopter, had been called to the scene of a crash involving car versus train.
Sarah, the other trauma nurse on duty, was restocking the supplies so Raine used the few moments of free time to head into the bathroom.
As she fought another wave of nausea, she leaned over the sink and thought of Elana. This must be how her friend had felt with her horrible bouts of morning sickness.
Her eyes flew open at the implication and she stared at her pale reflection in shock. Could it be? No. Oh, no. She couldn’t handle this.
Her knees went weak and she sank down onto the seat of the commode. Counting backwards, the sickness in her stomach threatened to erupt as she realized it had been just over four weeks since her last period.
Chapter Three
DEAR God, what if she was pregnant?
No, she couldn’t be. There was just no way she could handle this right now. Especially considering the circumstances under which she might have conceived. She shied away from the dark memories.
She didn’t have time to fall apart. Not when there was a serious trauma on the way. Car versus train, and the train always won in that contest. She took several deep breaths, pulling herself together with an effort.
She couldn’t think about this right now, she just couldn’t. It was possible she had flu, nothing more. She had to stop jumping to conclusions. She’d been through a lot of stress lately. Far more stress than the average person had to deal with. There were plenty of reasons for her period to be late. And it wasn’t really late. She could get her period any day now.
But the nagging fear wouldn’t leave her alone.
She used the facilities and then splashed cold water on her face in a vain attempt to bring some color back to her cheeks. She stopped in the staff lounge to rummage for some crackers to nibble on as she made her way back to the trauma bay.
The pager at her waist beeped. She glanced at the display. Thirty-five-year-old white male with multiple crushing injuries to torso and lower extremities. Intubated in the field, transfusing four units of O negative blood. ETA five minutes.
Five minutes. She took another sip of white soda and finished the cracker. She couldn’t decide if she should be upset or relieved when the cracker and white soda combination helped settle her stomach.
“What’s wrong?” Caleb demanded when she entered the trauma bay a few moments later. “You look awful.”
“Gee, thanks so much,” she said sarcastically. “I really needed to hear that.”
“I’m sorry, but I wanted to make sure that you’re okay to work,” Caleb amended. “The trauma surgeon has requested a hot unload. We need to get up to the helipad, they’re landing in two minutes.”
“I’m okay to work,” she repeated firmly, determined to prove it by not falling apart as she had last night. Every day was better than the last one—hadn’t her counselor stressed the importance of moving forward? She was living proof the strategy worked. “Let’s go.”
She and Caleb took the trauma elevators, located in the back of the trauma bay, up to the helipad on the roof of the hospital. At first the confines of the elevator bothered her, but she inhaled the heady scent of Caleb’s aftershave, which pushed the bad memories away and reminded her of happier times. When they reached the helipad, they found the trauma surgeon, Dr. Eric Sutton, was already standing there, waiting. Lifting her hand to shield her eyes against the glare of the sun, Raine watched as the air-rescue chopper approached. The noise of the aircraft made it impossible to speak.
When the helicopter landed, they waited until they saw the signal from the pilot to approach, ducking well below the blades. The Lifeline transport team, consisting of a physician and a nurse, helped lift the patient out of the back hatch of the chopper.
“He’s in bad shape, losing blood fast,” the Lifeline physician grimly informed them. “In my opinion, you need to take him directly to the OR.”
“Sounds like a plan. We can finish resuscitating him there,” Dr. Sutton agreed. “Let’s go.”
In her year of working Trauma, she’d only transported a handful of patients directly to the OR. They all squeezed into the trauma elevator around the patient, Greg Hanson. She kept her gaze on the portable monitor, trying to ignore the close confines of the elevator as they rode back down to the trauma OR suite located on the second floor, directly above the ED.
The elevators opened into the main hallway of the OR. The handed the gurney over to the OR staff who were waiting, taking precious moments to don sterile garb before following the patient into the room.
“Caleb, I need a central line in this guy—he needs at least four more units of O neg blood,” Sutton said.
They fell into a trauma resuscitation rhythm, only this time the trauma surgeon had taken the lead instead of Caleb. As Eric Sutton was assessing the extent of the patient’s crushing leg wounds, she and Caleb worked together to get Greg Hanson’s blood pressure up to a reasonable level.
She didn’t know the circumstances about why Greg Hanson’s car had been on the railroad tracks and as she hung four more units of blood on the rapid infusor, she found herself hoping this hadn’t been a suicide attempt.
Being in close proximity to Caleb put all her senses on alert. But when his shoulders brushed against hers, she didn’t flinch. She tried to see that as a sign she was healing.
“Here,” she said, handing him the end of the rapid infuser tubing once he’d gotten the central line placed. “Connect this so I can get the blood started.”
Caleb took the tubing from her hands, his fingers warm against hers. Eric and the OR nurse were prepping the patient’s legs to begin surgery and the anesthesiologist was already putting the patient to sleep, but for a fraction of a second their gazes clung, as if they were all alone in the room.
“Great. All set,” Caleb said, breaking the nearly tangible connection. “Start the blood.”
She turned on the rapid infuser, rechecking the lines to make sure everything was properly connected. She took four more units of blood, confirmed the numbers matched, and then set them aside to be hung as soon as the other four had been transfused into their patient. She could see by the amount of blood already filling the large suction canisters that he was going to need more.
“Draw a full set of labs, Raine,” Caleb told her.
She did as he asked, handing them over to the anesthesia tech, who ran them to the stat lab. She began hanging the new units of blood when the current bags were dry.
“I think we have things under control here,” the anesthesiologist informed them a few minutes later. Taking a peek over the sterile drape, she could see Dr. Sutton was already in the process of repairing a torn femoral artery.
She was loath to leave, feeling as if there was still more they could do. But now that the anesthesiologist had put the patient to sleep, he’d taken over monitoring the rapid infuser, along with the anesthesia tech.
They really weren’t needed here any longer.
Caleb put a hand on her arm, and she glanced up at him. The warmth in his gaze made it seem as if the last four weeks of being apart hadn’t happened. “Come on, we need to get back down to the trauma bay.”
“All right,” she agreed, following him out of the OR suite. Outside the room, they stripped off the sterile garb covering their scrubs.
“Good work, Raine,” Caleb told her, as they headed down to the trauma bay.
“Thanks. You too,” she murmured, sending him a sideways glance. From the first time she’d met Caleb, there had been an undeniable spark between them. An awareness that had only intensified as they’d worked together.
His kisses had made her head spin. There was so much about him that she’d admired. And a few qualities she didn’t.
Working together just now to save Greg Hanson’s life had only reinforced how in sync they were. They made a great team.
Professional team, not a personal one, she reminded herself.
The nauseous feeling returned and she glanced away, feeling hopelessly desperate.
Impossible to go back and change the mistakes and subsequent events of the past, no matter how much she wished she could.
Caleb couldn’t seem to keep his gaze off Raine. The adrenalin rush that came from helping to save a patient’s life seemed to make everything around him stand out in sharp definition. Especially her. Raine’s dark red hair, her pale skin, her bright blue eyes had beckoned to him from the moment they’d met.
She was so beautiful. His fingers itched to stroke her skin. Memories of how sweetly she’d responded to his kisses flooded his mind. Along with a stab of regret. If only he’d have handled things differently, they might have been able to make their relationship work.
His fault. She’d pushed him away, but it was all his fault. Because he’d jumped to conclusions.
Raine had tried to talk to him, but he hadn’t been very receptive. And then Jake had come to apologize. Confessing that he’d had too much to drink and had made a pass at Raine.
So he’d called her back, prepared to apologize, but she’d refused to take his calls.
He wished, more than anything, that she’d talk to him. Allow him to clear things up between them. But instead she’d gone to work in the minor care area, located at the opposite end of the ED from the trauma bay.
He and Raine made a great team on a professional level. He shouldn’t dwell on the fact they couldn’t seem to make the same connection on a personal one.
“Where’s my brother? Greg Hanson?” a frantic voice asked, as they walked past the ED patient waiting area.
Caleb stopped to address the young man. “He’s in surgery. We can let the trauma surgeon, Dr. Eric Sutton, know you’re here waiting for him.”
“Surgery?” The man’s expression turned hopeful. “So he’s going to make it?”
“I’m sorry, but it’s a little too early to say for sure, although I think he has a good fighting chance,” Caleb told him. He glanced at Raine, who gave a nod of encouragement.
“His vital signs were stabilizing when we left,” she added.
“Good, that’s good.” The young man sighed. “Greg’s wife and baby are being examined to make sure they didn’t sustain any injuries. He risked his life to save them. His wife, Lora, panicked when her van got stuck on the railroad tracks. She didn’t want to leave because the baby was in the back seat. He pulled her out of the car first, and then yanked the baby out just as the train hit.”
He heard Raine’s soft gasp. “Dear heavens,” she murmured.
Caleb grimly agreed. The guy was a hero, and he could only hope the poor guy didn’t suffer irreparable damage to his legs as a result of his actions. “Are his wife and baby both here?”
“The baby’s at Children’s Memorial, my wife is over there with their daughter now. Lora’s here, the doctor is seeing her now. As soon as they’re medically cleared, we’ll all be here waiting to hear about Greg’s condition.”
“I’ll let the trauma surgeon know,” Caleb promised.
“Thank you,” the young man said gratefully.
He and Raine returned to the trauma bay. He made the call up to the OR, leaving a message with the OR circulating nurse about Greg’s family. She passed the word on to Eric Sutton, who reassured them he’d come to the waiting room to talk to the family as soon as he was finished.
Satisfied, he hung up the phone. There was a lull in the action. Trauma was either busy or slow, and he found himself looking once again for Raine.
They needed to talk. He just couldn’t let her go without a fight. Maybe it was crazy, but the awareness still shimmering between them made him believe in second chances.
He found her in the staff lounge, sipping a soda. She looked surprised to see him.
“I was surprised to see you earlier today. You never mentioned working at the animal shelter while we were going out,” he said, being careful to sound casual and not accusatory.
She met his gaze briefly, before glancing away. “No, I didn’t. I’ve only been volunteering at the animal shelter for the past month or so.”
