скачать книгу бесплатно
‘I had some help, ma’am,’ Nanny said, and looked self-conscious. ‘Sadie is not quite as she ought to be. No one in the village will employ her, but she comes here to be with me because I helped her when she needed me, and the old cook here showed her how to cook. Makes wonderful cakes, she does—never asks more than a few pence and her dinner.’
Selina sighed inwardly as she saw her slender funds diminishing rapidly. At this rate she would have to apply to Mr Breck for more help with the servants’ wages, but Nanny’s words left her little option.
‘I can see someone has worked extremely hard,’ she said. ‘You must thank Sadie for me. Does she live in the house?’
‘Oh, no, miss, Sadie is a wild creature, a law unto herself. She can be an angel one day and the next she’s off roaming the woods, getting up to who knows what. I think she has a hut in the woods somewhere.’
‘I see. Well, at least she is no trouble to you, then.’
‘Good as gold, she is, with me—but not always with others, if you see what I mean.’
Selina feared she did. This wild girl Sadie sounded more of a liability than a help, but she would not turn her away unless she caused trouble in the house. She tasted the cake cautiously, half expecting to find salt had been used instead of sugar, but it was in fact delicious.
‘This is very nice,’ she said. ‘I do not think my cook could do better.’
‘I’ll tell my girl you were pleased,’ Nanny said, and smiled. ‘Like a daughter to me, she is, ma’am—for all her faults.’
‘Well, I shall expect you to look out for her,’ Selina said. ‘In the meantime, I can pay her a shilling a week and her meals—if that is sufficient? If you think she needs more, I will apply to Mr Breck.’
‘No, please don’t do that, ma’am. The old earl told me to send her away—thought she was a troublemaker, he did, and Mr Breck would say the same. A shilling and her dinner will do very well for Sadie.’
‘Then I shall allow her to come here, providing she causes no trouble in the house,’ Selina said. ‘Clearly you are fond of her, and I have no wish to cause anyone unhappiness. There is sufficient of that in life without creating more.’
She’d had her share of it—not least the disappointment she’d suffered when she was sixteen and her first love affair had come to naught, leaving her with sweet but empty memories.
‘That’s what I always say.’
Nanny nodded approvingly, and Selina knew she had passed the first test with flying colours. How many more there would be before she was fully accepted here she did not know, but she had a feeling she would soon find out.
‘The library is wonderful,’ Millie said the next morning, when Selina found her two sisters sitting in the parlour they had used the previous evening.
It smelled of lavender, and she realised they had been polishing and cleaning with a will. The beautiful old furniture was gleaming and nothing was out of place. They had positioned their mother’s sewing box beside a comfortable chair they had brought with them, and the men had carried in the delicate spinet to stand before the window. On the mantelpiece were the silver candlesticks that had belonged to their mama, and a French silver-gilt clock with painted enamel sides. She might almost have been in her own home, and a lump came to her throat.
‘Oh, you have been busy. Everything looks … like Mama’s parlour.’
‘Except it is too tidy,’ Millie said. ‘We always left our books and our sewing about, but otherwise it is very like home.’
‘Yes.’ Selina smiled, because they had worked hard to please her. ‘Is there a good selection of books—books you can read and enjoy?’ So often people filled their libraries with boring books covered in leather to look smart, which they never read.
‘Oh, yes.’ Millie sighed with pleasure, for reading was a particular favourite with her. ‘There are novels, plays, books of poems, as well as history—and a wonderful Bestiary with marvellous drawings that have been coloured in.’
‘Then you will not miss Papa’s books so much. I hated telling you that you must leave your favourite books, dearest.’
Millie looked away with a little shake of her head, a rather odd expression on her face. Selina wondered, but then forgot as Amy went into raptures about the family journals and the portraits she’d discovered in the gallery.
‘Trent showed me the priest holes and the minstrels’ gallery. They are in the west wing, which is not used now—though it could be, for there is nothing wrong with any of the rooms. All the furniture is under dustcovers, which makes it look sad, but it could be brought to life again with a little industry.’
‘We might open it up for Christmas,’ Selina said. ‘I have been so busy with sorting out cupboards and the household accounts that I haven’t seen as much as I would like of the house. However, I promised Mr Breck I would see to the business of the house and what I can of the estate accounts. Mr Breck has employed a bailiff to overlook the tenant farmers, and a couple of keepers for the park, but from what I’ve seen, two gardeners are hardly enough. I mean to pry into everything so that I can send Mr Breck my report by the end of the week.’
‘After luncheon you must at least explore this wing,’ Amy said, just as the gong sounded. ‘Ah, that sounds as if it is ready. You know we are to have a simple buffet now and serve ourselves? Mr Trent offered to serve us himself, but I said we shouldn’t need him until this evening.’
‘Quite right. I believe he has enough to do with cleaning the silver and making sure everything is as it ought to be downstairs.’
‘It’s quite an adventure looking after ourselves, isn’t it?’ Millie said, surprising them both as they all trooped into the little dining parlour. ‘I thought I should hate it but I’ve had fun.’
‘Yes, of course you have,’ Selina said. ‘We can make what we want of our lives. We do not need a house filled with servants and lots of money to be happy.’
‘I should like a new dress for Christmas, though,’ Millie said. ‘Mama said I would have my gowns made in a different way when I was thirteen—and my birthday is the week before Christmas.’
‘We haven’t forgotten,’ Amy said, and raised her eyebrows at her elder sister. ‘When do you ever let us?’
‘Please do not quarrel now,’ Selina said. ‘We can still have new gowns sometimes, Millie. It’s just that they may not always be the best silk—and we may have to make them ourselves.’
‘I can’t sew!’ Millie exclaimed with horror. ‘Please don’t say I have to make my dress myself, Selina.’
‘Amy and I will make it for you,’ Selina promised. ‘Besides, you must learn to set simple stitches. I wish we had some way of earning money that was acceptable in society, but I fear that if Amy became a companion she would lose her chance of a good marriage. Perhaps you should have a little season in Bath next spring, Amy. It is not so expensive as London, and we might contrive a wardrobe for you—but I am not sure we could all go. Besides, I shall be busy here.’
‘What about Great-Aunt Hilda?’ Millie asked. ‘I know she and Mama did not like each other—but she sent us all a present for our christenings.’
‘And nothing since,’ Amy reminded her. ‘She and Mama fell out over something, and Aunt Hilda has never visited or sent even a card since. She would not consider taking me to Bath with her. I am not sure I should wish to go if I were beholden to her’
‘It all depends how much my pearls bring when I sell them,’ Selina said. ‘I am certain one of Mama’s friends would take you, providing we did not expect her to pay for your clothes or expenses. If you found a rich husband, he might give Millie a home with you. I should then be able to find work as a companion, or perhaps a governess …’
‘No, you would not,’ Amy contradicted. ‘If he wanted to marry me, he would have you to stay often. Given your chance, I am sure you would find a rich husband.’
‘I suppose I might.’
Selina held her peace. She was not at all sure she wanted to marry for the sake of a fortune and a home. She was finding her present position more than satisfactory. Indeed, had it not been that she feared to spoil her sisters’ chances, she would, she thought, be content to find a position as housekeeper in a house much like this one.
Selina had refused the three hundred pounds a year Mr Breck had offered to pay her, which would have solved all her financial problems, because it would not do for the sister of two young ladies who had yet to establish themselves in life to be known as a paid housekeeper. If they were taken care of, she could be quite independent without worrying how it might affect their lives. No one would even have to know that she existed.
The more she thought about it, the more she thought that she would be content to work for her living. It might be preferable to marrying a man she did not love just to gain a home. Or was she just being foolish because of a long-held dream?
The picture of a young soldier’s face entered her mind, and she smiled at the memory. He’d swept her off her feet that night, giving her a taste of feelings and sensations so intense that she knew no one else would ever measure up. Indeed, she’d been so carried away that she had allowed him liberties no decent young woman should. Did that make her a wanton?
He’d said he would return to claim her one day—what did that mean? Had he meant marriage or …? Her cheeks flamed. Had he thought her wanton because she’d been carried away by her feelings? Sometimes Selina was shocked when she recalled what he’d done, but then she remembered how sweet had been the touch of his lips, and she could not be ashamed of what had been so pleasurable.
No, she would not let her thoughts dwell in the past. Time enough to think of her own future. First she had to make sure that Amy and Millie were safe, and until then she must struggle on as best she could.
CHAPTER THREE
‘YOU are jesting?’ Henry Norton stared at his friend in genuine surprise. ‘She turned you down? Have her wits gone begging or did you offend her?’
Robert smiled wryly. ‘You know me too well, Nor. I was too direct, of course. Told her it would not be a love match while assuring her that I was fond of her and found her desirable as a companion and a mother for my children.’
‘I am not surprised she turned you down. Indeed, I wonder that you escaped unscathed to tell the tale. Knowing her temper, I would have expected you to bear some injury. What possessed you to say such a thing to the lady? You might have known she would be angry. The fair Adelaide has a score of gentlemen languishing at her feet.’
‘Well, they may take their chances with her and good luck. She is beautiful but a spoiled brat,’ Robert said, and touched his cheek with feeling. ‘Not quite unscathed, Nor. The lady packs quite a punch, believe me.’
‘No less than you deserved.’ Henry was unsympathetic. ‘If you wanted her to accept, you should have … But of course you didn’t.’ He nodded knowingly as he saw Robert’s expression. ‘You felt it your duty to offer for her, after flirting with her so outrageously for months, but you never truly wished to marry her, did you?’
‘I confess it was done out of duty, for I had unwittingly led the lady to believe an offer was forthcoming.’ Robert sighed heavily. ‘I have behaved very badly. I know she is all that most men require in a wife, but she is not for me.’
‘Good grief, what are you looking for—a saint?’
‘No …’ Robert laughed in an oddly defensive way. ‘Would it be too much to ask that the lady should love me—or at least hold me in warm affection? I know I’m not the easiest of men. My nightmares would scare a young woman. I thought since Adelaide had been married once before she might be looking for a marriage of convenience, but it seems she demands utter devotion, and that I cannot promise. I’m not sure I shall ever be able to give my whole self to a woman. I’ve seen too much, Nor—cried too many tears. My heart broke on the Spanish Peninsula campaign, and I’m not sure I can feel love again.’
Henry nodded. He felt much as Robert did. The death of so many friends had left deep wounds that might never heal. But Robert had suffered more. Henry had watched him as he held Juanita in his arms, nursing her through a night during which she had been racked with terrible pain—pain inflicted by a renegade band of English soldiers. To see a young and beautiful woman destroyed so utterly as Juanita had been was something any man might find hard to forget. Raped, beaten and left for dead, she’d lived long enough to tell her tale, name her torturers, and die in her lover’s arms.
Sometimes Henry wished she’d died sooner, before he and Robert had found her. Perhaps then his friend would have recovered. But the experience had scarred him deeply, leaving him with terrible nightmares that haunted him still, even after two years spent recuperating in the peace and warmth of the hills of Tuscany.
‘Well, since there is no longer a reason for you to stay here, perhaps we should return to England.’
‘Yes, I believe we should,’ Robert agreed. ‘You wrote to Mr Breck and told him I would return before Christmas?’
‘I told him it was your intention. But you do not intend to visit the Banford Hall estate at once, I think?’
‘It will keep for a while. We shall go to London. Breck may arrange for the townhouse to be opened up, and we’ll go there for a week or two. My own estate was small and disposed of when I decided to stay here, but the money was invested. I shall want to investigate the state of my finances, which I believe to be more than adequate. As I told you, Nor—I do not think I can bear to live in that mausoleum of a house. It will have to come down if I’m to live there, but it may be better just to sell.’
‘I’ll write to Breck again before we leave, warning him of your intentions. When shall we go—next month?’
‘Why not sooner?’ Robert smiled. ‘We’ll pay a brief visit to Paris, and get home in time to prepare for Christmas.’
Selina looked around her with satisfaction. She and her sisters, and Jane and Betty, had spent the past three weeks cleaning and sorting out the neglect of years. The parlours, drawing room, dining room and breakfast parlour were all now in good order. Furniture had been polished, carpets beaten and silver burnished. The main staircase—a magnificent relic from medieval times, intricately carved—when they arrived had been ingrained with dust. Now the dark oak gleamed with polish, its faded beauty restored.
‘It looks much better now, Miss Selina,’ Betty said with a nod of satisfaction. ‘I’ve never sneezed so much in my life without having a chill—everywhere was so dusty. I think the drawing room had not been used in years.’
‘Well, we have made big changes.’ Selina was pleased because she had discovered some beautiful pieces of walnut furniture that had been languishing under dustcovers in the unused wings. By bringing in useful items like desks and small tables, pretty chairs with spindly legs and a comfortable sofa, she had transformed the rooms they were to use. The heavier, ugly pieces had been transferred to one of the unused rooms. ‘Everything in here was so heavy and dull—and all those lovely things going to waste …’
‘I hope the new earl won’t mind.’ Betty looked doubtful. ‘Some folk hate things to be changed, you know, miss.’
‘Well, he isn’t here, is he?’ Selina replied. ‘If he cared about his uncle’s home, he would have come back at once to see what needed to be done to set it to rights. Besides, all I’ve done is make the rooms we use comfortable and pretty.’
‘You’ve certainly made them your own,’ Betty said. ‘I’d best away to the kitchen, miss. Cook is making puddings and cakes for Christmas, and she needs a hand.’
‘I thought Sadie was helping her?’
‘Her?’ Betty sniffed. ‘Comes and goes as she thinks fit. That one is more trouble than she’s worth, mark my words. You’ll rue the day you allowed her to stay.’
‘What has she done?’
‘I’m not one to tell tales, miss, you know me—but she’s been hanging around with James the gardener. A girl like that … Well, stands to reason he’s only after one—’ Betty broke off and blushed. ‘I shouldn’t have said that, Miss Selina.’
‘No, you shouldn’t,’ Selina said. ‘Unless she causes trouble, I shan’t send her away, Betty. Nanny cares for her, and she keeps her in line. I’ll give Nanny a hint about James and she can warn Sadie to be careful.’
Selina had caught only glimpses of Sadie, for the girl seemed to avoid the family. Once or twice she’d caught her peering in at the window when she’d been talking to Cook in the kitchens, and she’d seen her running across the lawns at the back of the house on two occasions, but otherwise Selina would hardly have known she was there had Nanny not told her.
Selina frowned as she thought of the beautiful wild girl who was not quite a part of their household. She was a law unto herself, dreamy, and apt to walk off in the middle of a task, so Cook said, and then come back a day later expecting to start again where she’d left it. Selina wasn’t sure whether she was a little simple or just wild and contrary, but she had caused no trouble thus far.
Indeed, everything had been going very well. They had begun to receive one or two callers—just the vicar and some of their nearest neighbours—and she was thinking of having an afternoon when she would invite ladies to call for refreshments. They had met others when they attended church on Sundays, and everyone seemed friendly and a little curious about the family at Banford Hall. So far two gentlemen had ridden over to ask if they could be of any help. Both were gentlemen farmers, men of independent means, but they had country manners and lacked the town polish that she and her sisters had been used to in their friends. Neither was quite what Selina hoped for as a suitor for her sister.
‘Miss Searles …’
‘Yes, Trent …’ Selina was brought back from her reverie by the elderly butler’s arrival. ‘Is there something I can do for you?’
‘A letter has arrived marked as urgent. I thought I should bring it to you at once.’
‘An urgent letter?’ Selina looked at him in surprise and some consternation. She took the small envelope from the salver and glanced at the writing. ‘It is from Mr Breck …’ Opening it swiftly, she gave a little gasp of shock and turned pale. ‘Yes, it is important, Trent. Thank you for drawing it to my attention. Do you know where Miss Amy is, by any chance?’
‘She is in the small parlour, miss. Shall I tell her you wish to see her?’
‘No, I shall go to her,’ Selina said. ‘Please excuse me.’
Leaving the butler staring after her in a puzzled manner, Selina walked swiftly to the parlour they had made their own. She was fortunate to find Amy at her sewing. Their younger sister was, of course, in the library, which was her favourite place at any time of day.
‘I am not sure what to make of this,’ she said, and handed Amy the letter. ‘Mr Breck says we are to remain here for the moment, but I am not sure how we can.’
Amy read the letter and looked at her in consternation. ‘He says the earl is expected in England any day now. Oh, Selina, after all our hard work—and just when we were beginning to make friends.’
‘Apparently the earl does not intend to live here for the moment. It seems he will make his home in London—and he is thinking of pulling down the house and building a new place.’
‘Oh, how could he?’ Amy stared at her in genuine distress. ‘This house is so beautiful and has so much history.’
‘It is also draughty, and if all the rooms were opened up would require a small army of servants. We have worked hard ourselves, Amy. Betty could never have managed it alone.’ Selina looked ruefully at her hands. ‘I shall have to wear lace gloves when we have visitors, for my hands are a disgrace.’
‘And now he will come and take it all away from us and destroy everything we’ve done.’ Amy’s eyes glittered angrily. ‘It is so unfair, Selina.’
‘Life is often unfair,’ Selina said, and sighed. ‘Do you remember when Mama took me to Bath seven years ago? I was just sixteen then, and she needed to take the waters for her health.’
‘Yes. I remember you seemed very quiet when you returned.’ Amy frowned. ‘I don’t see what … Sorry, please continue, Selina.’
‘There was a man—a captain in the army. He was so handsome, and he was about to depart for Spain. He and his friends were at an assembly that Mama and I attended. My card was filled before he arrived, but he … he cut in and started to flirt with me. I felt as if I were in a dream, Amy. He said such things to me—told me I was an angel straight from heaven … so beautiful that I made his heart weep. He took me out into the garden and kissed me, told me that he adored me and that one day he would come back for me. I’m not certain what he meant, but I think he was a little squiffy, because the next day he passed Mama and I as we walked to the pump room and did not even glance my way. I suppose that he was merely flirting with me …’
‘How perfectly horrid of him,’ Amy said, outraged for her sister. ‘What happened after that? Did you tell him he was not a gentleman?’
‘I did not have a chance. I learned from a lady whose house we visited that Robert Moorcroft and his friends had departed for Spain, where they were to join Wellington—or Wellesley, as he was then known—on campaign.’
‘So he was merely flirting with you and drunk on the eve of leaving for war?’ Amy frowned. ‘I should have been angry with him for taking advantage.’
‘No, I wasn’t angry.’ Selina smiled. ‘I was young and foolish. I should not have gone into the garden with him that night. Mama had warned me about allowing gentlemen to take advantage … But I liked him so much, and it all seemed so romantic. I was carried away on a tide of pleasure and I forgot Mama’s warnings. Of course I know now he was just flirting with me—but somehow I have never been able to forget him.’
‘Is that why you do not wish to marry for money?’
‘I suppose it may be,’ Selina replied. ‘I shall not say he broke my heart, for he did not—but he spoiled me for others. I have not been able to see any other man in the same light.’
‘Yes, I understand that,’ Amy said. ‘Is he the reason why you took this position?’
‘In a way. Since I have no real desire to marry, I thought this would be a way out of our difficulties. But if the earl returns and no longer requires my services …’
