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Selina felt herself dismissed. He had treated her politely, but she knew that he considered her to be just one step above a paid housekeeper—perhaps equal to a poor relation he had given a temporary home.
Fighting her chagrin, and a stupid feeling of disappointment that he had not immediately remembered her as the girl he had kissed on that magical summer evening, she left him to brood alone in the library or whatever he chose to do. She had warned her sisters they were to stay away from his wing of the house, and she must do the same—unless requested to present herself, as she had been today.
She was so stupid to care! It had been but a fleeting moment—something she ought to have forgotten long ago, as he clearly had. They had both learned to feel pain and to live with the loss of loved ones, but he had moved on with his life while she … No, she was not that foolish girl. She was Miss Searles, and if requested to walk in moonlit gardens with an officer she did not know, she would have more sense than to agree.
At least she’d been saved the embarrassment of his thinking she was presuming on their encounter that night. He’d had her story from Mr Breck and been generous enough to allow her to stay—and that was the end of it.
She must concentrate on making this a better Christmas for her sisters than the previous one, when they’d been grieving for their father and their mama had been lying prone on her bed.
This year they would have goose with all the trimmings, presents and greenery throughout their part of the house. Since the great hall was in Lord Moorcroft’s wing, they would not be able to bring in the Yule log, but she would make their wing as festive as she could.
What Lord Moorcroft chose to do was entirely his affair. Cook would provide sufficient food for all of them—he could join in or brood alone with his kind but terribly scarred friend …
CHAPTER FOUR
‘I THINK he looks like a pirate,’ Millie said, though since she’d never seen one, other than in drawings in her book of tales of the sea, she could hardly be called an expert. ‘He is very bold and handsome—and his eyes laugh at one.’
‘And where did you see Mr Norton?’ Amy challenged as she looked up from her embroidery the morning after the earl’s arrival. ‘I hope you didn’t go marching into the earl’s wing?’
‘Selina said I might continue to use the library, but I was to leave if the earl asked me to. I knocked at the door and Mr Norton was there. He invited me in and he was nice.’
‘Yes, he is nice,’ Amy agreed. ‘I think he must have been as handsome as the earl before he was so horribly wounded.’
‘I like him as he is now,’ Millie avowed. ‘He told me he intends to catalogue the library and set it to rights. I asked if I could help, because I know where a lot of the books are, and he said if I was very careful and used gloves to handle the older, more valuable books, I could. He made me promise not to take a book away without noting it in his ledger, and I promised.’
‘It sounds as if he likes you, Millie. If you’d been four years older, he might have married you. You could have lived here as his wife then.’
‘He has an estate of his own in Devon. When the earl marries, he will go home and marry himself.’
‘How do you know that?’ Amy gasped.
‘Because I heard them talking last night.’
‘What do you mean?’ Amy stared at her. ‘You didn’t go into their wing—Oh, Millie. Selina warned you not to. The earl might have been so angry.’
‘Well, I left something in the minstrels’ gallery. I had to fetch it or—or they might have thought it belonged to them, and it doesn’t.’
‘Millie …’ Amy looked at her in sudden suspicion. ‘What have you done? If you’ve stolen something of the earl’s, you must give it back at once and apologise.’
‘I haven’t stolen anything … not from the earl.’ Millie glanced guiltily over her shoulder. ‘Please do not tell Selina, but I brought the Book of Hours with me in my trunk. I know she said I shouldn’t, but Papa gave it to me—truly he did, Amy. I’m not lying.’
‘I know he told you you could have it,’ Amy said. ‘But in truth he had no right, Millie. Selina is correct when she says it belongs to the estate. If Cousin Joshua discovers it is missing, he will come here and ask Selina where it went. He is within his rights to demand that you return it. It is medieval and so precious, my love.’
‘It would be precious to me if it wasn’t worth any money,’ Millie said, but hung her head. ‘I know I shouldn’t have done it, Amy—but I did, and there’s nothing we can do now, is there?’
‘We shall have to see what happens,’ Amy said. ‘Hush, now, Selina is coming. I think she has been going over the accounts with the earl.’
‘I do hope she isn’t upset. She looked as if she might cry when she came back from seeing him last night.’
‘Well, here you are,’ Selina said as she entered the parlour. ‘I was thinking we might take a walk to the village this afternoon. I wanted to call on the vicar and ask if he and his wife would like to dine with us tomorrow. I am planning a party the week after next, and he will know who we should ask to our first dinner.’
‘A dinner party?’ Millie said. ‘It’s my birthday that week. Is it for my birthday, Selina? If so, I should like to invite Mr Norton.’
‘I expect we shall invite both the earl and Mr Norton. Lord Moorcroft intends to bring a chef from London in time for Christmas, and he is bringing down one of the large oak trestle tables from the attics. I think he will use the great hall as a dining parlour when he entertains, and his smaller parlour when he and Mr Norton wish to dine alone.’
‘Why can they not take all their meals with us?’ Millie asked. ‘I like Mr Norton and—and the earl doesn’t seem too bad if you ignore his scowls. He doesn’t always know he is scowling, you know. Mr Norton says his bark is worse than his bite.’
‘Millie!’ Selina shook her head but smiled at her sister. ‘You shouldn’t say such things, even if Mr Norton does. He has the privilege of friendship. I have offered the earl the service of Cook, should he wish to accept, but he says it is to be a temporary arrangement. However, since there is only one kitchen, the arrival of a London chef may cause some friction.’
‘I thought he meant to stay only a short time,’ Amy said with a frown. ‘That his intention was to bring an architect from London, make plans to pull the house down and have drawings made for a new one.’
‘I have not been informed of any changes in the earl’s plans,’ Selina said. ‘He did compliment me on how pleasant his wing is since I had the furniture rearranged, and he sent his regards to you, Amy. He thanks you for the flowers but says he will not trouble you in future.’
‘Oh …’ Amy sighed with disappointment. ‘I enjoyed doing them, but if he does not wish for flowers … I have plenty to do here.’
‘Exactly.’ Selina’s eyes glittered with pride. ‘The west wing is the earl’s home and this is ours. As long as we remember that, there will be no conflict of interest.’
‘Mr Norton says I can help him in the library, but I am to go away if the earl wants to work there,’ Millie said. ‘I wish he was the earl. We could all be together then, like a family.’
‘Just remember you are a guest in the earl’s house, Millie. We may think of entertaining a few friends at Christmas, but then we shall have to start packing our things ready to move again.’
‘Do we really have to?’ Millie made a face. ‘I should like to stay here for ever and ever.’
‘Well, you can’t,’ Amy told her. ‘I hate the idea of this house being pulled down, but we can’t stop it.’ She stood up. ‘I’ve decided I’m going to draw the outside of the house from various angles. I want a memory I can keep. And if you behave, I shall colour one for your birthday, Millie.’
‘Will you draw the minstrels’ gallery and the priest holes for me?’
‘I should have to do them from memory.’
‘Mr Norton would let you draw them if you asked.’
‘Yes, he might—but he would have to ask the earl for his permission,’ Selina said. ‘I think there can be no objection to your drawing the house, Amy. Even if the earl does not appreciate it, he might like to have one of your drawings to remind him of what it looked like one day.’
‘I think I shall make a start now—before nuncheon,’ Amy said. ‘Will the gentlemen be joining us in the breakfast parlour?’
‘I think the earl has asked to be served in his own parlour or the library. He has tea tables, which will do for such a meal, but no dining table—except the huge one that almost fills one end of the great hall.’
‘How silly of him to bother with all that when he could dine with us,’ Amy said. ‘Please excuse me, Selina. I must fetch my painting things.’
‘And I must …’ Selina looked about herself and felt suddenly at a loss. She had hardly had a moment to spare since they’d arrived, but the house was now in good order, and the earl had lifted the burden of the estate from her shoulders. ‘I think I shall do some embroidery until nuncheon. This afternoon I shall walk to the vicarage.’
Amy departed in search of her sketching things. Millie followed her, saying she had mislaid a book she wanted, and Selina was left to amuse herself. She picked up a piece of embroidery, put it down again, and wandered over to the window. It was too nice a day to stay indoors, and she was restless now that so much of her work had been taken over by the earl.
Her interview with the earl had gone well enough. He’d seemed impressed with her accounting and had agreed that his uncle had been systematically cheated by his agent, and perhaps by other servants who had since left his employ.
‘There is little I can do now,’ he’d said with a rueful look. ‘But I shall send a new lease to the tenant who has not paid his rent for some years, together with a bill for money owed. If he has receipts from my uncle’s agents, he must present them. I shall then have proof of theft and can prosecute.’
‘I agree you should pursue this matter,’ Selina had replied. ‘It was wicked of them to do such a thing—and unfair to the tenant if he believed he was paying rent to the earl.’
‘Unless he was in on the scam?’
‘Yes, I suppose he might have been, since he would soon have been able to claim the land.’
‘My uncle was at fault, but his grief made him ill. I think he knew he was being cheated—which was why, at the last, he asked me to help. After his last surviving son died, he had no one else to turn to.’
‘You did not expect to inherit?’
‘How could I? When I was young, he had three sons. I enjoyed staying here then, but later, after my aunt and her two younger sons died, it became a house of sorrow. My cousin John left home as soon as he could escape—only to die in an accident—and I was glad to purchase my colours and go to war. I thought it would be glorious …’
‘I fear you found it otherwise,’ Selina said, faltering as she saw the frost in his eyes. ‘You must have been reluctant to come back to a house you remembered as being dark and empty.’
‘I was extremely reluctant,’ the earl said, and frowned. ‘I did not expect so many changes, Miss Searles.’
‘Oh … forgive me. I merely wanted to make it comfortable for you, sir.’
‘As you have. I was pleasantly surprised. And the wing you are using has never looked so well. I don’t know what you’ve done. I’m sure it did not look so comfortable before.’
‘I changed the furniture, took some pretty pieces to the wing—and of course the spinet and some of the things in my parlour are Mama’s.’
‘Ah, that explains it,’ he said. ‘My own wing needs a little more of what you have, I think.’
‘You wish me to return the furniture I have borrowed?’
‘No, not at all. I have some things of my own which will make the changes I require.’
‘Oh … I thought … Someone said they were to remain in store until you rebuild …’ Selina blushed. ‘Forgive me. I am presuming too much.’
‘It was my intention to leave the crates as they are, but now I see no reason to do so. The house has a certain appeal it formerly lacked, Miss Searles. Henry tells me it would be sacrilege if I were to tear it down—though he concedes the east wing needs some modernisation.’
‘Yes, it is not in as good a condition as the rest of the house,’ Selina said. ‘However, there is nothing that someone after the style of Mr Adam or Mr Sheraton could not put right—a designer with a delicate, modern touch, but simple rather than ornate. This house does not need all the French gilding that is becoming so popular—’ Once again she broke off as the earl’s brows rose. ‘Forgive me. It is your house, not mine.’
‘Yes, I rather fancy it is,’ he replied, giving her a brooding look that made her stomach clench. ‘However, I think I agree with you. Henry forbids me to give it the Italianate touch I first thought of …’
Seeing the glint in his eye and guessing that he was provoking her, Selina refused to rise to the bait. ‘I daresay your architect will be disappointed if you change your mind about pulling the house down.’
‘I have not yet completely decided,’ he replied, the brooding look returning to his eyes.
‘No? Well, you have plenty of time. After Christmas we shall make plans to leave as soon as we can, and you will have the house to yourself.’
‘There is no particular hurry,’ he said, surprising her. ‘I understand you mean to give a small party? I may invite a few friends myself—but it cannot be a large party, for I am still in mourning for my uncle.’
‘As we are for Mama,’ Selina assured him. ‘However, she would want us to have a small dinner party, and we shall trim the house—our wing, of course—and shall give each other presents. My sisters have been grieving for too long, sir. I wish to make this as good a Christmas for them as I can; though I cannot give them expensive gifts, they shall have something nice.’
‘It is an age since Christmas was celebrated in that way in this house.’ The earl narrowed his eyes. ‘Do you think I should bring the Yule log into the great hall? You could entertain your guests there, if you wished.’
‘I think my sisters would like to see the Yule log brought in, if you will permit? However, I shall only invite six or eight guests at most. We should get lost in your great hall, my lord.’
‘Yes, I suppose so. Unless my guests were here, too.’
‘Would it not become a large party, then?’
‘Perhaps.’ He shook his head. ‘We shall discuss this again another day, Miss Searles. If you will excuse me? There is much to do.’
‘Yes, I know.’
Selina had bitten back the words she’d longed to say. She could easily have helped him cast his accounts, for she had a talent for figures that amazed most people who were unable to see how she could simply look at a column of figures and come up with the correct answer without making notes or scribbling. Several people had challenged her totals in the past, particularly when she’d corrected their mistakes, but when they checked, they had invariably been forced to concede that she was right.
‘I shall not disturb you again, sir—but you are welcome to dine with us every night until you make your own arrangements; and I know Cook will be happy to send a light lunch to you here.’
He had thanked her, and she had left him to a task she was sure he did not wish to tackle—a task which would have been a pleasure to her. More than once she had been tempted to offer her services, but he would have thought her presumptuous, and she did not wish to try his patience, for he had been generous—almost too generous.
Had Selina not been aware that he was gaining as much from the arrangement as she, her sense of pride must have made her leave at once. It was an unusual arrangement, and one that some might think not quite proper. Yet she could see no reason why they should not live in harmony, providing both respected the invisible lines between them. They were under the same roof, and yet there were two separate households—which was quite respectable. If it were not for the library, which could be entered from either wing, they might lock their doors and be entirely shut off one from the other. She wondered if the earl had considered locking the door into his wing—or whether she ought to. However, that would mean Millie would be restricted.
Surely there was no harm in them all meeting on mutual ground?
It was no good. She must find something to fill her time—and put the earl and his affairs out of her mind. She would be here for only a few more weeks, and then she would probably never see him again.
Feeling the tightness in her chest as she realised how much pain that would cause her, Selina scolded herself for being foolish. He was not the man she had kissed in those moonlit gardens. He had been young, carefree, and on the verge of a great adventure. For some reason his life had turned sour, and he had forgotten the girl he’d promised to return to and wed one day—as she ought to have forgotten him long ago.
He had never intended to keep his promise. It had been just the foolish flirting of a young man who had drunk too much, perhaps because he was a little afraid of his future despite being on a high of excitement. Selina smiled at the memory and told herself to let it go. The Earl was a very different man. He could have no interest in a girl of her age, who had little fortune and was at the moment acting as his unpaid housekeeper.
She would take a turn in the gardens. The sun was shining, and with her fur-lined cloak about her shoulders, she would not feel the cold.
‘What are you looking at?’ Henry asked as he entered the library and saw his friend standing by the long French windows. He joined him, looked out, and saw the two young women. One had set up an easel and was sketching; the other was watching her and smiling as she encouraged her efforts. ‘Yes, they do make a pretty picture, Robert. Which do you have your eye on—Miss Searles or her charming sister?’
‘Neither,’ Robert replied, and moved away from the window. ‘I leave such things to you, Nor. Either of them would make you a comfortable wife, for they are both charming in their different ways.’
‘Miss Searles seems very capable of running a house like this. You should take advantage while you have the chance, Robert. You spoke of needing a wife, and I daresay she might be grateful for the chance to be mistress here.’
There was a teasing look in Henry’s eyes, but Robert did not reply in kind. His brow furrowed as he glanced at the accounts and wondered why he had found them so unappealing once Miss Searles had left the room.
What was it about her? He felt it was important, but the pain had crowded out all his happier memories. The men who had suffered and died—the women who had been raped, beaten and murdered by rampaging soldiers, some of them English—had filled his mind. Especially Juanita, the lovely young woman he’d tried but failed to save.
‘I keep thinking I should remember Miss Searles,’ he said. ‘There is something at the back of my mind … an elusive memory. It’s stupid, I know, but I feel it’s important.’
‘You could hardly have known her before you joined the army, Robert. It is more than seven years … she would still have been in the schoolroom.’
‘How old is she, do you think?’
‘I believe she will be four and twenty next spring.’
‘No more than three and twenty?’ Robert was surprised. ‘She seems older. I would have said six and twenty at least.’
‘It is her black gowns and the way she pulls her hair back,’ Henry said. ‘Miss Millie told me that she is thirteen next week, Amy is nearly twenty, and Selina is three and twenty. I see no reason why she should lie. I find her sometimes tactless, but always truthful. She told me my face is a bit ugly, but she thinks I was handsome once and she likes me. If I like she will marry me when she is seventeen—especially if I bring her here to live.’
‘Good grief!’ Robert shouted with laughter. ‘The chit is certainly not lost for words.’
Henry smiled. ‘I find her honesty refreshing. She has no idea of causing offence or hurt, and none is taken, I assure you.’
