The Husband She'd Never Met

It was a hell of a situation.

One thing was certain: he had no hope of sorting anything out with Carrie if she didn’t even know who he was. But by the same token, there was no question that he wouldn’t look after her until she was well again. He was still her husband, after all. He still loved her. Deeply.

And he couldn’t shake off the feeling that Carrie still loved him, that she hadn’t been totally honest about her reasons for leaving. But perhaps that was just wishful thinking. There was a strong possibility that when Carrie’s memory returned she would also recall all her grievances in vivid detail.

The very thought ate at Max’s innards, but he would worry about that when the time came. Till then, his role was clear.

* * *

Carrie edged carefully out of bed. Her feet reached the floor and as she stood she felt a bit dizzy, but the sensation quickly passed. The bump on her head throbbed faintly, but it wasn’t too bad.

She took out the clothes Max had brought—a pair of jeans and a white T shirt, a white bra and matching panties. There was also a plastic bag holding a pair of shoes—simple navy blue flats. Everything was good quality, and very tasteful, but Carrie found it hard to believe they were hers.

Where were the happy, dizzy colours she’d always worn?

Conscious of the man waiting mere metres away, just outside her door, she slipped off the hospital nightgown and put on the underwear. The bra fitted her perfectly, as did the pants, the jeans and the T-shirt.

She was surprised but rather pleased to realise that she was quite slim now. In the past she’d always had a bit of a struggle with her weight.

She combed her hair again and then checked the bedside cupboard and found a plastic hospital bag with more clothes—presumably the clothes she’d worn when she arrived here. Another pair of denim jeans and a blue and white striped shirt, white undies and brown riding boots. Crikey.

She felt as if her whole life and personality had been transplanted. These clothes should belong to a girl in a country style magazine. Which was weird and unsettling. How had this happened? Why had she changed?

Anxiety returned, re-tightening the knots in her stomach as she stuffed the bag of clothes and the brown handbag into the holdall. She checked her phone again. Still no reply from her mum.

Mum, ring me, please.

She needed the comfort of her mum’s voice. Needed her reassurance, too. At the moment Carrie felt as if she was in a crazy sci-fi movie. Aliens had wiped a section of her memory and Max Kincaid was part of their evil plan to abduct her.

She knew this was silly, but she still felt uneasy as she went to the door and found Max waiting just outside.

His smile was cautious. ‘All set?’

Unwilling to commit herself, she gave a shrug, but when Max held out his hand for the holdall she gave it to him.

They made their way down a long hospital corridor to the office, where all the paperwork was ready and waiting for her.

‘You just have to sign here...and here,’ the girl at the counter said as she spread the forms in front of Carrie.

Carrie wished she could delay this process. Wished she could demand some kind of proof that this man was her husband.

‘Will I see the doctor again before I leave?’ she hedged.

The girl frowned and looked again at the papers. ‘Dr Byrne’s been treating you, but I’m sorry, he’s in Theatre right now. Everything’s here on your sheet, though, and you’re fit to travel.’

‘Carrie has an appointment in Townsville,’ Max said.

The girl smiled at him, batting her eyelashes as if he was a rock star offering his autograph.

Ignoring her, he said to Carrie, ‘The appointment’s for two o’clock, so we’d better get on our way.’

Carrie went to the doorway with him and looked out at the landscape beyond the hospital. There was a scattering of tin-roofed timber buildings that comprised the tiny Outback town. A bitumen road stretched like a dull blue ribbon, rolling out across pale grassland plains dotted with gum trees and grazing cattle. Above this, the sun was ablaze in an endless powder-blue sky.

She looked again at her phone. Still no new message.

‘Carrie,’ Max said. ‘You can trust me, I promise. You’ll be OK.’

To her surprise she believed him. There was something rather honest and open about his face. Perhaps it was country boy charm, or perhaps she just needed to believe him. The sad truth was she had little choice...she was in the Outback and she had to drive off with a total stranger.

Max opened the door of a dusty four-wheel drive.

He was nervous, too, she realised. Above the open neck of his shirt she could see the way the muscles in his throat worked, but his hand was warm and firm as he took her arm. Her skin reacted stupidly, flashing heat where he touched her as he helped her up into the passenger’s seat.

A moment later, having dumped the holdall beside another pack in the back, he climbed into the driver’s seat beside her. Suddenly those wide shoulders and solid thighs and all that Outback guy toughness were mere inches away from her.

‘Just try to relax,’ he said as he started up the engine and backed out of the parking space. ‘Close your eyes. Go to sleep, if you like.’

If only it was that easy.

CHAPTER THREE

THEY WERE ABOUT twenty kilometres down the road, with the small town of Jilljinda well and truly behind them when Carrie’s mother rang back.

‘It was such a relief to find your message and to hear your voice,’ her mum said.

‘It’s great to hear you, too, Mum.’ You. Have. No. Idea.

‘How are you, darling? Have you really lost your memory?’

‘Well, yes. Some of it, at least. The more recent things, apparently. I can remember all about Sydney, and about you and my friends, but I have no memory of meeting M-Max, or coming to Queensland.’

‘How very strange. It must be extremely upsetting, dear.’

Carrie’s stomach took a dive. She’d been hoping her mother would tell her this was all a terrible mistake.

Now, clearly, the impossible was not only possible, it was true. She was married to Max, an Outback cattleman.

‘Yeah, it’s very upsetting,’ she said. ‘It’s weird.’

‘And Max said this happened when you fell from a horse?’

‘Apparently.’ Carrie didn’t add that she had absolutely no memory of ever learning to ride a horse. The situation was bizarre enough, without giving her mum too much to worry about.

Just the same, she heard her mother’s heavy sigh. ‘I always knew something dreadful like this would happen to you out there. I warned you right from the start that you should never marry a cattleman. The lifestyle is just too hard and dangerous, and now this accident proves it.’

A cold wave of disappointment washed over Carrie. She’d been hanging out for maternal reassurance, or at the very least a few motherly words of comfort.

‘I don’t feel too bad,’ she felt compelled to add. ‘My headache’s just about gone. But I have to go to Townsville for more tests.’

‘Oh, dear.’

Carrie sent a sideways glance to Max. Clearly her husband wasn’t in her mother’s good books and she wished she knew why. Was it something he’d done? Or was it merely because he lived in the Outback? She wondered if he’d guessed her parent’s negative response.

‘Are you in an ambulance?’ her mother asked next.

‘No.’ Carrie felt cautious now as she explained, ‘I’m with Max. He’s driving me to Townsville.’

‘Oh.’

Carrie didn’t like the sound of that. Oh. It reinforced all the fears and doubts she’d been battling ever since Max had walked into her hospital room. Now she’d virtually handed herself over to a complete stranger, who was also apparently her life partner, her lover.

In the car park he’d given his word. ‘Carrie, you can trust me, I promise. You’ll be OK.’

She wanted to trust Max. All evidence pointed to the fact that he truly was her husband, so she needed to trust him. And as far as she could judge he had a very direct and honest face, although right now he shot her a sharp, frowning glance, almost as if he’d guessed the tenor of her mother’s message...

‘I suppose Max hasn’t said anything about—?’ Frustratingly, her mum stopped in mid-sentence.

Carrie frowned. ‘Said anything about what?’

‘Oh... I—I—I’m sorry. Don’t worry, dear. I—I spoke without thinking.’

Mum, for heaven’s sake.

Beside Carrie, Max was very still, his eyes focused on the road ahead, his strong tanned hands steady on the steering wheel.

‘Is there’s something I should know, Mum? Just tell me.’

‘No, no, darling. Not now. You shouldn’t be stressed at a time like this. You should be trying to relax. Ring me again after you’re safely in Townsville. After you’ve finished with the tests.’

Carrie hated being fobbed off. Her mum had been on the brink of telling her something important. ‘But what did you mean? What don’t I know?’

Her mother, however, would not be coerced.

‘I’ll say goodbye for now. Take care, Carrie. I’ll be thinking of you and sending my love.’

Then silence. She’d disconnected.

Carrie gave a soft groan, dropped the phone back into her lap, and felt her uneasiness tighten another notch.

* * *

Here we go, thought Max. The Dragon has fired her first flare.

He kept the thought to himself, clenching his teeth to hold back a comment. Carrie had enough to deal with right now.

Beside him, she sighed. ‘Am I right in thinking that I often feel angry or frustrated after a phone conversation with my mother?’

He sent her a sympathetic smile, but she looked so tired and confused he wanted to do a hell of a lot more than smile. His instincts urged him to pull over to the side of the road and take her in his arms. He wanted to ease that furrow between her fine brows, press a gentle kiss to her forehead, then another on the tip of her neat pointy nose, before finally settling on her sweet lush lips.

Yeah, right. Like that would solve anything.

Instead, he gave a shrug. ‘I guess you realise I’m not Sylvia’s dream son-in-law?’

‘Mum claims she warned me about life in the bush.’

Max nodded. ‘That started from the moment we met.’ He’d never meant to think of his mother-in-law as The Dragon, but three years of poorly veiled hostility could stuff with a man’s good intentions.

Carrie’s eyes were wide. ‘So my mum was against it, but I married you anyway?’

He chanced a quick grin. ‘You were stubborn.’

Then he quickly sobered. He’d only told Carrie half the story, of course. Right now she innocently assumed that all was rosy in Max-and-Carrie Land—the nickname they’d given their marriage in happier times. And this morning he’d assured her she could trust him. Which was true, but her accident had left him walking a fine line between the truth and the way he wished things could be. The way they should be.

Now, as he drove on over wide rolling grasslands, he wondered how much he should tell Carrie. It would be weird to try to explain that she’d walked out on their marriage. He didn’t want to confuse her. Given her memory loss, it was hard to gauge how much she could take in.

And yet they had two hours of driving before they reached the coast... Two hours of tiptoeing through a conversational minefield.

‘How did we meet?’ Carrie asked suddenly.

Max swallowed to ease the sudden brick in his throat. This was the last question he’d expected. It was hard to accept that she remembered nothing of an occasion that was enshrined in his mind for ever and lit up with flashing neon lights.

He told her the simple truth. ‘We met at a wedding.’

Carrie’s lovely chocolate-brown eyes widened. ‘Really? Was the wedding in Sydney?’

‘Yes. A work colleague of yours—Cleo Marsh—married one of my mates.’

‘Gosh, I remember Cleo. She was great fun. Quite a party girl. And she married a cattleman?’

Max nodded. ‘Grant grew up on a cattle property, but he studied medicine and now he’s a rural GP based in Longreach. He met Cleo when they were both holidaying on Hayman Island.’

‘How romantic.’

‘Quite,’ he said softly.

‘I—I wish—’ Carrie began to chew at her thumbnail. After a bit, she said, ‘I wish I could remember meeting you.’

The question slugged him like a physical blow. Perhaps he should just tell her the truth and stop this conversation now.

‘How did it happen, Max? Did our eyes meet across a crowded room? Or did you chase me?’ Carrie dropped her gaze to the gnawed thumbnail. ‘Did I flirt with you?’

Against his better judgement Max allowed himself to relive the amazing chemistry of that night, the glittering, harbourside venue and that first, heart-zapping moment of eye contact with Carrie. Her shining dark eyes and dazzling bright smile, the electric shock of their bodies touching the first time they danced...

Quietly, he said, ‘I reckon we could safely claim all of the above.’

‘Wow,’ she said, but she didn’t sound very happy.

She let out a heavy sigh, gave a toss of her long brown hair and flopped back in her seat, with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes closed, as if even this tiny slice of information was more than she could handle.

* * *

Carrie wished she could go to sleep. She just wanted the next few hours—the tedious journey over endless sweeping plains, the Townsville hospital and the medical tests—to be over and done with. Along with that fantasy she wanted a miraculous mind-clearing drug that would restore her memory and bring her instantly back to normal.

Or did she?

Was she ready for reality?

Did she really want to wake up and find herself reliving every minute detail of her life as an Outback wife?

She slid another glance Max’s way. She had to admit she couldn’t fault her husband’s looks. Yes, he had a distinctly outdoorsy aura, but she was rather partial to well-developed muscles and piercing blue eyes.

She wished she could remember meeting him at Cleo’s wedding. For that matter she wished she could remember their own wedding. She looked again at her left hand and the faint mark on the ring finger and contemplated asking him about her wedding ring and why she wasn’t wearing it, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to hear his answer.

Of course the reason might be simple—she’d taken the ring off as a practical safety precaution—but the answer also might be complex and awkward, and right now Carrie was quite sure she had as many complications as she could handle. So, although her curiosity about Max was off the scale, she decided it was wisest to choose her questions carefully. Best to stick to the past. The straightforward simplicity of their first meeting.

‘Were you wearing a tux?’ she asked. ‘On the night we met?’

Max looked surprised, and then mildly amused. ‘I suppose I was.’ He thought for a moment. ‘Yes, of course I was. It was an evening wedding. Quite formal.’

‘And what was I wearing?’ She wondered if it was a dress she could remember. ‘What colour?’

He shot her a twinkling sideways glance. ‘The female mind never ceases to amaze me.’

‘Why?’

‘All the questions you could ask and you want to know what colour you were wearing more than three years ago.’

She narrowed her eyes at him, feeling almost playful. ‘You don’t remember, do you?’

‘Of course I do.’

‘Tell me, then.’

‘It was a slinky almost backless number in a fetching coppery shade. And you had matching streaks of copper in your hair.’

Carrie smiled. She couldn’t remember the dress, but it sounded like the sort of thing she might have chosen, and she’d loved having her hair streaked to match an outfit.

Suddenly emboldened, she asked, ‘Did we sleep together on that first night?’

To her surprise, she saw the muscles jerk in Max’s neck as he swallowed, and then he took his time answering. ‘What do you think?’ he asked finally.

Carrie blushed, caught out by her own cheeky question. As far as she could remember she wasn’t in the habit of jumping into bed with men on a first date. Then again, she couldn’t remember ever dating anyone quite as disturbingly sexy as Max.

‘Well,’ she said carefully. ‘We did end up getting married, so I guess there might have been sparks.’

Max didn’t shift his gaze from the road in front of them, but his hands tightened around the steering wheel and a dark stain rose like a tide up his neck. ‘Oh, yeah,’ he said quietly. ‘There were sparks.’

Something in his voice, half rumble, half threat, sent Carrie’s imagination running wild. Without warning she was picturing Max in his tux, shedding his jacket and wrenching off his bow tie, then peeling away her slinky copper dress. She saw him bending to touch his lips to her bared shoulder, to cup her breasts in his strong hands and—

Oh, for heaven’s sake. She knew very well that this wasn’t a memory. It was pure fantasy. But it was a fantasy complete with sparks that lit flashpoints, burning all over her skin, and firing way deep inside.

Silenced and stunned by her body’s reaction, she slunk back in her seat, crossed her legs demurely once more and folded her arms. It was time to stop asking questions. Any kind of conversation with this man was dangerous.

* * *

At last the tests were over and Carrie had seen the Townsville specialist. As far as her head injury was concerned there were no serious complications and she had been told that her memory should return, although the doctor couldn’t tell her exactly when this would happen. For the time being Carrie was to follow the normal precautions.

She shouldn’t be left alone for the next twenty-four hours and she should have plenty of rest and avoid stressful situations. She should not drink alcohol or take non-prescription drugs, and there was to be no more horse riding for at least three weeks, when she was to return for another appointment.

‘I’m sure your memory will be restored by then,’ the doctor told her confidently as they left.

It was good news, or as good as she could expect, and Carrie knew she should be grateful. To a certain extent she was grateful. She could expect a full recovery, and she had a husband who seemed willing to help her in every way possible.

But the problem of her lost memory felt huge, like an invisible force field between her and Max. He was a constant physical and highly visible masculine presence at her side, and yet she didn’t know him. He knew everything about her, but she didn’t know him. At all.

Apparently the memories were there, locked inside her brain, but she couldn’t reach them. It was like living with a blindfold that she couldn’t remove.

She was ignorant of basic things—Max’s favourite food and his most loved movies. She didn’t know what footie team he followed, or whether he shaved with an electric razor. And she knew nothing about his character. His heart. Was he a good man? Was he even-tempered or prone to anger? Was he kind to old ladies and kittens? Did he love being a cattleman?

Did he love her?

And the biggest question that dominated her thoughts right at this moment—where did he plan to sleep tonight?

CHAPTER FOUR

‘I’VE BOOKED AN APARTMENT,’ Max said as their vehicle crested a hill and a vista of sparkling blue sea and a distant green island suddenly lay before them. ‘I made the booking for a few days, in case you need time to adjust before we head back to Riverslea Downs.’

‘Thanks,’ said Carrie. ‘That’s thoughtful.’ Already, as they’d travelled from the hospital through the city, she’d noticed large shopping centres, several restaurants and cafés, and a movie theatre or two.

‘If you can’t be in Sydney, a big city like Townsville is at least better than a remote Outback cattle station,’ her mother said when she rang to find out how Carrie was.

‘Yes, I guess so.’ Carrie was actually more interested in finding out what it was that her mother had been going to tell her during their previous phone conversation.

‘I can’t remember,’ her mother said now, quite bluntly. And then, in more soothing tones, ‘Honestly, darling, I’ve forgotten. It can’t have been important.’

Carrie was certain she was lying, but it seemed pointless to push the matter.

Now, having rung off, she asked Max, ‘If we stay here for a few days who will look after your cattle?’

This brought a smile. ‘The cattle can look after themselves for the time being. We’ve had a good wet season, so the dams are full and there’s plenty of pasture. But anyway Barney’s there.’

Carrie frowned. ‘Who’s Barney?’

Max looked momentarily surprised, as if he considered this person entirely unforgettable, but then he said quickly, ‘He’s an old retired ringer. He lives on the property. He worked there for nearly sixty years. Worked for my father before me. And when it was time to retire he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the Outback, so he has his own little cottage and does odd jobs around the place.’

‘A kind of caretaker?’

Max grinned. ‘Better than a guard dog.’

So it seemed Max was kind to old family employees. Carrie approved, and wondered if she should make a list of things she was learning about her husband.

She soon discovered he’d chosen an impressive apartment. It was on the fourth floor of a building built right beside the sea, very modern and gleaming, with white walls and white floor tiles and a neat kitchen with pretty, pale granite bench tops. The living area was furnished with attractive cane furniture with deep blue cushions. A wall of white shutters opened on to a balcony with a view over palm trees to the dazzling tropical sea.

‘How lovely,’ she said. ‘I’m sure this must be the perfect spot for my recovery.’

Max’s blue eyes were warm as he smiled. ‘That’s what I was hoping.’

Tentatively, Carrie returned his smile. ‘We haven’t stayed here before, have we?’

‘Yes,’ he admitted. ‘We usually come to Townsville a few times a year for a city break.’

Really? It sounded like a pretty nice lifestyle. But right now Carrie had one rather big and worrying question—how many bedrooms were there?

She looked around nervously, counting the doorways that led from the main living area, somewhat relieved to see there was more than one.

‘This is the main bedroom,’ Max said smoothly as he watched the direction of her gaze. And then he crossed to an open doorway. ‘Come and look—it’s not bad.’

Still clutching the small leather holdall with her few possessions, Carrie followed him. The room was huge, with what seemed like acres of pale cream carpet and an enormous white and aqua bed. And there were floor-to-ceiling windows giving an incredible view to the sea on one side and to a pretty marina filled with sleek, beautiful yachts on the other. Another doorway led to an en-suite bathroom that was equally huge and white and luxurious.

‘It’s lovely,’ she said, and heat spread under her skin as she wondered, again, if Max planned to share this room with her.

He was standing just a few feet away and his wide-shouldered presence seemed to make the bedroom shrink. Her imagination flashed forward—she was lying in that enormous bed, the sheets smooth and silky against her skin. Max was emerging from the bathroom, coming straight from the shower, naked, his powerful body gleaming in the lamplight. And then he was lifting the sheet and sliding in beside her...

To her dismay, she realised he was watching her and she sucked in a shaky breath. The play of emotions on his face suggested that he was remembering something from their past. She wished she knew what it was. Wished she knew how many nights they’d spent in rooms like this. Max was so earthy and masculine... She was sure, deep in her bones, that those nights had been wild.

‘Were—were you planning to sleep in here, too?’ she asked, and her voice was ridiculously breathless.