New Arrivals: Surprise Baby for Him

Cords of tension stood out on Seth’s neck, and when he shoved tightly fisted hands into his jeans’ pockets, knotted veins showed in his forearms.

‘Seth, I didn’t mean to pry. You don’t have to—’

He kept talking as if he hadn’t heard her. ‘He came to me one morning in the middle of the wet season. We’d had really heavy rain and the roads were cut and he demanded that I fly him to Cairns. Come hell or high water, he was going to Melbourne. He still hadn’t heard from Rachel—no phone calls, letters, or emails.’

Seth gave a despairing shake of his head. ‘I told him he was a hot-headed fool, that he hadn’t thought everything through. I said he should wait till the wet season was over. If he still felt the same way about her then, he should go.’

Again, Seth looked unhappily out to the distant green islands. ‘I forgot how stubborn and independent he could be, and there’s no fool like an old fool. He took off alone in the flaming tinny to go to Cairns by sea—’

‘What’s a tinny?’

‘An aluminium dinghy. We used it for fishing around the islands, but my uncle was planning to take it all the way to Cairns.’ Seth’s throat worked. ‘A damn storm came up out of nowhere.’

Amy stared at him in dawning horror, guessing what would come next.

Grim-faced, Seth told her. ‘A fishing trawler found the wreck three days later.’

The news rocked Amy. She’d never dreamed…

‘I’m sure Rachel didn’t know,’ she whispered.

Appalled, she recognised Seth’s grief, and felt his pain. It was there in the way he held himself stiffly, so stiffly, and his hurting was a live thing, reaching out to her and squeezing her heart.

‘I blame myself,’ Seth said softly. ‘My uncle asked me to do one simple thing for him and I turned him down. After everything he’d done for me.’

Again, he kicked at a stone and, with a gruff, anguished growl, he began to stride away from Amy. She hurried down the track to catch up.

‘You mustn’t blame yourself,’ she said.

He whirled around. ‘Why not? I should have seen how desperate he was. If I’d had any idea he’d take that bloody boat, I’d have flown him to Cairns in a heartbeat.’

Tears stung her eyes.

‘I didn’t know Rachel was pregnant.’ His voice was rough and choked. ‘I didn’t know how to contact her after he died, but if I’d known she was pregnant, I would have made a bigger effort to find her.’

Blinking tears, Amy reached out and touched him on the arm.

He tensed as if she’d burned him.

‘I do know how you feel, Seth.’

His eyes blazed with sudden anger. ‘How could you possibly know?’

‘I’ve been there. In that same place.’

She knew he didn’t believe her, or care. His jaw hardened and a merciless light crept into his eyes. ‘OK, so how do I feel?’

Amy’s throat was tight, and it felt raw and fiery when she tried to swallow. ‘You’d give anything to have that time over again, to make different choices.’

Seth continued to glare at her.

‘Believe me, Seth, I know exactly what it feels like to be full of remorse, to feel responsible for what’s happened. I’ve suffered all kinds of guilt over Rachel.’

In silence, he absorbed this news, and at last Amy saw his shoulders relax. He shook his head. ‘But you weren’t to blame for Rachel’s accident.’

‘I was,’ she said, blinking back tears. ‘I should have invited my boyfriend to a corporate launch, but I asked Rachel to come instead. If I hadn’t invited her, if I‘d asked Dominic and left Rachel safely at home with Bella, she’d still be alive.’

‘But her accident was just bad luck. You told me that when you rang. Some fool ran a red light.’

Amy’s stomach lurched unhappily and she couldn’t look at him. She hated making this admission, but it had been eating at her for the past two months.

‘I can’t stop feeling guilty about that night because…because I wanted to show off to her. If I’m brutally honest, that was the real, the only reason I invited Rachel.’

Still she couldn’t look at him, and she forced her eyes extra wide to hold her tears at bay. ‘Rachel was always so amazingly clever and I finally had the chance to show her how good I was at my job. The launch party was going to be fabulous and I wanted her to see me in my finest hour. I—I can’t believe I was so full of myself.’

She pressed her lips together tightly to hold back a sob.

‘You’re looking at this the wrong way,’ Seth said, lifting his voice above the sudden noise of squabbling parrots in nearby trees. ‘There’s nothing wrong with inviting a best friend to a party.’

‘But my motives were selfish.’

‘So you wanted to show off? That’s not exactly a crime, Amy. Half the parties in the world are about showing off.’

He snagged a stem of long grass and she found herself watching the deft movements of his fingers as he wove the strip of green into a narrow plait. A sigh escaped her.

‘Perhaps we’re both being too hard on ourselves,’ he said quietly.

Was he right? She felt a tenuous but amazingly deep connection to him in this moment. Here were the two of them—grieving and alone, lost and guilty—two strangers from different worlds linked by one tiny girl.

‘I know one thing,’ she said, at last. ‘No matter how badly we want to, we can’t change what’s happened.’

Seth nodded. ‘All we can do is look for a way to move forward again.’

His eyes regarded her warmly. ‘Speaking of moving on, I still haven’t shown you why I brought you down here.’

‘Do we have time? Shouldn’t we get back to Bella?’

‘This will only take a moment.’

Ahead of them, the track narrowed and Seth led the way, holding back giant fern fronds so they didn’t brush against Amy. She heard the sound of running water and when they rounded the next bend, the track opened up to reveal a picture-perfect, fern-fringed rock pool fed by a cascading waterfall.

‘Oh, wow!’

‘It’s an alternative swimming hole,’ Seth said with a grin. ‘Better than the beach because it’s too high up for crocodiles.’

‘It’s beautiful.’ It was truly beautiful. Even so, at the mention of crocodiles, Amy sent a cautious glance over the tumble of rocks and she quickly scanned the massive overhanging tree branches. ‘Do snakes come here?’

‘Not often.’

She edged closer to Seth. ‘How often is not often?’

He grinned. ‘I’ve seen the occasional harmless python sunning itself on a rock, but that’s all.’

‘But it wouldn’t be safe to bring Bella here?’

‘Why not? She’d be fine—as long as she was with a responsible adult. I wouldn’t have brought you here if I thought it was dangerous.’

Amy turned from the pool to face him. ‘You do understand how important Bella is to me, don’t you? Rachel was my best friend and now you know how I feel about the accident—’

‘You want to make amends by taking wonderful care of her daughter.’

‘That’s it exactly.’ It was a relief to know that he finally understood. ‘Bella’s my responsibility now. I’m her legal guardian and I love her and I’m committed to watching out for her for the rest of my life.’

Seth nodded. ‘It’s a big thing to take on. Bella’s very lucky to have you.’ He looked down at the grass he’d been plaiting and tossed it away. ‘I’d like to help, if I can. I know I can’t offer much more than financial support. I have to stay here and run this place, but Bella’s my family, and she’s important to me, too.’

Without warning, he sent Amy a smouldering, half-lidded smile that awoke all kinds of unhelpful memories of last night’s kiss.

I’m an idiot, she thought.

What was the point of thinking about another kiss when Seth was busily discussing their separate futures?

His thoughts were centred on practicalities, not kisses, and from the start she’d insisted that her future lay in Melbourne with Bella. She’d made it very clear that she wanted to live miles and miles and miles away from here.

Her plans hadn’t changed. She couldn’t throw them away on the basis of one kiss.

OK, so maybe Seth’s kiss had eclipsed all other kisses in Amy’s experience, and maybe she was thinking far too much about the chances of a replay, and maybe now that she knew Seth hadn’t slept with Rachel, she couldn’t think of any reason to say no…

Except…if she was going back to Melbourne, the most she could hope for was a fling. And apparently, Seth didn’t do flings. She was pretty sure he was the still-waters-run-deep type of man—which just happened to be Amy’s favourite type.

Truth was, she wasn’t into flings either, although she believed she could possibly make an exception for Seth Reardon.

Unhappily, she moved to the edge of the rock pool and looked down into the crystal-clear water. She watched the weeds swaying gracefully like thin green scarves anchored to the sandy bottom. She could see the sky reflected in the water and the overhead branches festooned with orchids and birds’-nest ferns like bracelets covering the arms of a bellydancer.

The bright pink of her T-shirt looked strangely out of place amidst the greens and blues and browns…but as she stood there, watching the reflection, she saw Seth drifting closer, until he was standing right next to her…

Dangerous tingling sensations spread under her skin. She closed her eyes, wishing she could be more sensible about this man. She’d never been forward with guys, but right now she was fighting a shameless urge to turn and throw herself into his arms. Kiss me, take me…

‘I guess we should go back,’ he said, looking down at the water.

Amy let out the breath she’d been holding. ‘I guess.’

Seth didn’t move…and neither did she.

He was standing so close to her that she only had to sway towards him and their bodies would be touching.

‘Amy,’ he whispered hoarsely and she saw the movement of his reflection, saw his hand reach out to touch her hair.

When she turned to him, she bumped into his hand. He smiled; let his fingers trace the curve of her cheek, and her pulse began a hectic dance…

‘You’re so lovely,’ he whispered.

Oh, man. She was wearing an old T-shirt and jeans. Her hair was in a ponytail and she hadn’t a skerrick of make-up. And yet Seth was trembling as he touched her and was telling her she was lovely.

This incredibly attractive, gorgeous man thought she was lovely. This serious man who’d rejected Rachel’s flirtations thought she, Amy, was lovely.

In a rocket-burst of confidence and overpowering need, she touched her finger to his lips. ‘Just imagine I’m a female firefly and I’m flashing madly,’ she whispered.

Seth smiled.

Beautifully.

His kiss started out tender and sweet, but within seconds it turned earthy and hot. His arms came around her, drawing her hard into his heat.

He broke the kiss for one pulse beat, maybe two…then he began to seduce her slowly, slowly, teasing her lower lip, brushing it with his lips, with his tongue, with his teeth, wringing soft sighs from her, and tiny, tiny moans…before he took the kiss deeper, hungrier, wilder…making her feel like a goddess…

Goddess of the rock pool.

She felt this could go on for ever and getting wilder and wilder, spinning out of control, until she tumbled into the water with him, and swam naked. Made love beneath the waterfall.

‘Do you fancy a swim?’ Seth murmured into her mouth and his eyes were heavy-lidded and hot as he searched her face.

‘You can read my mind,’ she whispered, totally, totally lost in longing.

She reached for the hem of her T-shirt and hauled it over her head and Seth groaned softly. His hands were trembling as he touched her breasts.

With a cry, Amy began to tug his shirt free from his jeans. She’d never been so turned on, so drowning in desire.

But then, at the worst possible moment, like a distant echo from a past life, Seth said one word.

‘Bella.’

What?

Her mind was too crazed to comprehend. Her eyes were closed, her breath trapped in desperate anticipation of his touch.

‘What about Bella?’ he said.

Oh, good grief.

She couldn’t believe she’d been so carried away that she’d forgotten Bella. Completely.

Seth’s groan morphed into a shaky laugh. ‘I don’t suppose we can leave her with Ming for a little longer?’

A little longer. How long was that?

Too long, surely.

If only…

With a heavy sigh, Seth gathered Amy close, pressed his lips to her forehead. His hands rubbed her bare arms, muddling her thoughts, making her yearn to throw off her responsibilities.

But how could she be so weak?

She sighed. ‘Poor Ming will probably be demented by now. Bella has the attention span of a goldfish. I suppose we’d better head back and rescue him.’

‘I was afraid you’d say that.’

His reluctance to leave was flattering, but with a good-humoured chuckle he released her and he bent down and retrieved her T-shirt from the rock at their feet.

He helped her into it, then enfolded her to him one more time, flooding her with happiness.

As they went back along the track and up the stone stairs the wild happiness strummed Amy’s nerve endings and she had to stop herself from skipping.

She wasn’t sure if this second kiss had been another reckless moment, or the start of something quite, quite wonderful…but exquisite thrills zapped through her like a riff on an electric guitar, and she was too happy to spoil the blissful sensations by analysing them too much.

Seth watched Amy disappear into the house to relieve Ming of his babysitting duties, and then, as sanity returned, let out his breath on an anguished sigh.

He’d totally lost it, lost himself in the sexy sweetness of Amy’s kiss. He’d come within a hair’s breadth of dragging her into that pool and taking things beyond the point of no return.

Kissing Amy was fast becoming a dangerous addiction.

But it was madness.

He should never have started this. He should have been stronger, should have had the sense to remember Bella before he made a move on Amy.

He’d set out this morning with the best of intentions, but he’d lost his perspective at some point during the conversation about Rachel and his uncle. He’d kept the details of their story to himself for so long, and it had been damned difficult to talk about what had happened, but Amy had been so incredibly sympathetic, so understanding.

She really did understand. She’d experienced the same black hole of grief. She’d been living there, in that same painful, guilty place.

She knew.

He’d felt a soul-deep connection, and when he’d told her she was lovely, he hadn’t only been talking about her dark chocolate eyes, or her lovely smile, or her exceptionally lovely legs. Looking at Amy was a source of constant delight, but he couldn’t ignore her warmth and sympathy, or her courage for taking on the responsibility of Bella.

The fact that these qualities all came wrapped in such a sweet, sexy package was a miracle.

Amy had looked so right standing there beside the rock pool and he’d almost hoodwinked himself into thinking that she belonged there.

Fool.

He shouldn’t have started another kiss; should have been stronger. Amy hadn’t been flirting. Hell, if she’d been flirting, the kiss could have been excused. But she’d been deadly serious when she’d turned to him.

She’d been asking him to take a leap of faith.

And Seth had no faith.

He’d lost his faith years ago in hard and bitter lessons, and he knew damn well that no amount of loving could overcome the problems posed by this remote lifestyle.

All faith in such rosy dreams had been shattered by his mother, by Jennifer, and by what had happened when Rachel turned up…

Seth’s die had been cast then, just as Amy’s had. They had separate responsibilities now. He had no choice but to keep Serenity going. He owed it to his uncle to stay here, and Amy had no choice but to return to Melbourne and to raise Rachel’s daughter there, surrounded by family, schools, playgroups, ballet classes—everything a little girl needed.

He had no right to dally in kisses, or to toy with Amy’s emotions.

For the rest of her stay, he had to remember that. Her sweetness and softness were out of bounds.

Hell, he’d already kissed her twice.

Twice.

Two mistakes.

He couldn’t afford a third.

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