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Tess stared, and then she started to laugh. ‘I’m not sure that’s particularly comforting, but it makes me feel better all the same.’ She leant forward, her hands clasped on her knees. ‘Okay, so what did you mean when you said you needed to sort me out?’
‘Do you really think you’ll find it satisfying enough just keeping house and looking after the children?’
‘Well, I—’
‘My dear, I think you’ll go mad. So what I want to propose is for you to run a class or two for our OOSH programme.’
‘OOSH?’
‘Out of school hours,’ Stacy clarified. ‘The classes would only run for forty minutes or so. The school has a budget for it, so you would be paid.’
Tess opened her mouth, but no sound came out.
‘It’ll be a great benefit to the community during term time and great for the kids. More important, however, I expect it will help keep you fresh and stop you from going stir crazy.’
Tess stiffened when she realised exactly what kind of classes Stacy was going to ask her to teach—music classes. Cam stared at her and recalled the way she’d tensed up when Helen had co-opted her for the summer school. He frowned. Surely with her experience and expertise teaching music classes would be a cinch. If she had a passion for music, wouldn’t she be eager to share it?
He didn’t want to ask any awkward questions. At least, not in front of Stacy, but…
Silence stretched throughout the office. Finally Tess smoothed back her hair. ‘I know you’re thinking of my piano and guitar training,’ she said quietly. Too quietly. ‘But piano isn’t really appropriate to teach to a large group. As for guitar, that will only work if everyone has their own instrument.’
Stacy grimaced and shook her head.
Tess’s hands relaxed their ferocious grip on each other. He stared at them, and then opened his mouth. He could donate the funds needed to buy the school guitars.
‘I figured that might be the case,’ Tess said.
He closed his mouth again, curious to see what she meant to propose.
She pursed her lips and pretended to consider the problem. He stared, trying to work out how he knew it was a pretence, but he couldn’t put a finger on it. He kept getting sidetracked by the perfect colour of her skin and the plump promise of her lips.
‘I could do percussion classes,’ she said. ‘It teaches timing and rhythm and the kids would love it.’
‘Sounds…noisy,’ he said.
‘Which no doubt is part of the fun,’ said Stacy. ‘What equipment would you need?’
‘Any kind of percussion instrument the school or the children have lying around—drums, cymbals, triangles, maracas, clappers. Even two bits of wood would work, or rice in a plastic milk container.’
‘We can make some of those in class.’
‘Do you have recorders?’ Both he and Stacy groaned. Tess grinned. ‘I’ll take that as a yes. In my opinion recorders get a bad rap. They’re a wonderful tool for teaching children how to read music.’
‘Oh, Tess, that sounds perfect!’ Stacy clasped her hands on her desk and beamed at them. ‘Can you start next week? We hold the classes at the community hall and there’ll always be a parent or four to help out. Would Tuesdays and Thursdays suit you?’
‘I’d love to be involved, and any day of the week is fine with me.’
Cam couldn’t tell if she truly meant it or not, but he sensed her sincere desire to fit in, to become fully involved in life at Bellaroo Creek. To give back. His stomach rolled. While he was intent on leaving.
‘I know you’re busy on Kurrajong, Cam, but I don’t suppose you’d take a class?’
He went to say, You can take that right, when Krissie’s crumpled face rose in his mind…along with the way Ty flinched whenever he was startled as if waiting for a blow to fall. ‘I’ll teach judo classes on a Wednesday if you think there’ll be any takers.’
Tess spun to him. He refused to look at her. He refused to consider too deeply what that meant for his plans. It’d only be a minor delay. It’d only mean hanging around in Bellaroo Creek for an extra month to six weeks. He did what he could to stop his lip from curling.
‘I forgot you had judo training. You received your training certificate before you went off to university, didn’t you?’
He nodded. Teaching judo had helped pay his way through university.
‘Excellent! That’ll be another winner. I can’t tell you both how much I appreciate it. I’ll be in touch to fine-tune the details,’ Stacy said. ‘Now, Cam, my lower field.’
‘We need to talk drainage and fund-raising.’
She sighed. ‘Just as I feared. We might have to leave that all for another day,’ she said, leading them to the door. ‘But many thanks for coming out here and taking a look. Take care, the both of you.’
Cam glanced at Tess as they set off for the front gate. Was she all right? Dealing with Krissie’s and Ty’s fears and insecurities had to be taking its toll. He didn’t doubt for a moment that she loved them, but…She’d essentially gone from fêted musician to a single mother of two needy children in the blink of an eye. It couldn’t be easy. Some days it must be bloody heartbreaking and exhausting. ‘Are you okay?’
One shoulder lifted, but lines of fatigue fanned out from her eyes. ‘Sure.’ When he didn’t say anything she glanced up, grimaced and shrugged again. ‘Some days it feels as if we take one step forward and three steps back.’
He couldn’t think of anything to say that didn’t sound like a platitude or the accepted wisdom she already knew.
‘I know it’ll get better with time.’
But how much time? And how ragged would she run herself in the meantime? He glanced at her again and bit back a curse.
‘You did that for Ty’s and Krissie’s sakes, didn’t you?’ she said, when they reached their cars. She blinked in the sunlight. ‘Offering to teach judo.’
He chose his words carefully. ‘I think if they feel they can defend themselves, they’ll become a little more…relaxed.’
‘I don’t doubt that for a single moment, but…’
But? He shifted. ‘I don’t teach fighting as a good or positive thing to do, Tess. Judo is about self-discipline and learning how to defend yourself.’
‘Oh, it’s not that!’ She actually looked shocked by the idea. ‘But…’ she glanced around as if afraid of being overheard ‘…I thought you were leaving town?’
He rolled his shoulders. ‘I am. That hasn’t changed.’ He wanted them very clear on that. ‘But there’s still a lot of work to sort out on Kurrajong. Hanging around until the end of the school term means I won’t be leaving it all for my station manager to sort out.’ He gritted his teeth. What was a month?
Besides, it had struck him afresh in Stacy’s office that while he was fighting not to turn into his father, that was exactly what he was in danger of becoming. Just like his father, he’d withdrawn from the community and thrown himself into work on the station. Leaving Bellaroo Creek and involving himself in a cause he was passionate about would ensure that history didn’t repeat, but in the meantime he had to fight that inward impulse as much as he could. Even if it meant coming face-to-face with Lance and Fiona some time in the near future.
What would that matter? In three months he’d be in Africa.
In the meantime, he would not bury himself on Kurrajong Station with all of his bitterness and shattered dreams. He thrust his shoulders back. He’d get the chance to explore new horizons, stretch his wings, and shake the dust of this godforsaken place from his boots soon enough.
‘You know, I’d kill for a piece of butter cake with orange icing right about now.’
He blinked himself back into the present. ‘Sorry, Tess, I’m afraid the town doesn’t stretch to a bakery.’ Though rumour had it that might change in the not too distant future with Milla Brady coming home. One could only hope.
‘It doesn’t mean I can’t make a cake of my own, though.’
True enough. He opened her car door for her. ‘You think it’ll cheer Krissie up?’
‘It may well do,’ she said with a shrug, but a cheeky grin peeped through. ‘Mostly I just want one because I’m famished!’
He laughed, noting the way her shoulders had started to loosen.
‘I don’t know what it is about the air out here, but my appetite suddenly seems to know no bounds.’
‘Will you have time for a lesson on the lawnmower this afternoon? It’s in perfect working order again and I thought I might bring it over.’ It occurred to him that it might be a good idea for Tess to have company this afternoon.
‘Oh, that’ll be perfect! I’ll feed you cake, and you can teach me the fine art of lawnmower riding.’
‘Deal.’
He tried to ignore the excitement that curled in his stomach as she drove away. He was teaching her how to use the ride-on, that was all. If he was lucky it might stop her from brooding. End of story.
Cam drove the mower into the backyard. From her position at the kitchen window Tess’s gaze zeroed in on those impressive shoulders and the strongly defined muscles of his upper arms, and her breath hitched.
She leaned closer to get a better look. She fanned her face. She jumped when the oven timer dinged.
She wrenched her gaze away. It had been an emotional morning. This was a carry-over reaction from that. She shied away from the ‘emotional’ part of that thought too. It made her insides start to wobble again, and she was getting tired of wobbling, of feeling the ground constantly shifting beneath her feet.
‘Come on through,’ she hollered before he could knock on the back door.
She pulled the cake from the oven and, although she sensed him standing behind her, she set the cake on the bench and just stared at it, her mouth watering. She needed to let it cool for at least ten minutes before cutting into it.
Longer if she intended to ice it.
When she finally turned to Cam, his lips twitched as if he could read her hunger, her greed. He nodded towards it, his eyes dancing. ‘I’m impressed.’
Something in his voice…Didn’t he think that she could bake? She stuck her nose in the air. ‘So you should be.’
Then she grinned. ‘I’ve been practising becoming modelmother material since before we left Sydney.’ She tapped an old exercise book—Sarah’s recipe book—her sister’s handwriting as familiar as her own. ‘There’s a wealth of hints and tips in this baby.’
‘What is it?’
She handed it to him, and then hitched her head in the direction of the yard, grabbing her sunhat as they went. ‘C’mon, I’m dying to eat cake so the sooner I learn all I need to about your ride-on mower, the better.’
Barney greeted them with excited barks, leaping up on Tess and practically exploding with delight when she petted him. Fluffy followed behind at a far more dignified pace.
‘C’mon, you two.’ She scooped the puppy up in one hand and the chicken in her other and popped them both in the chicken mansion out of harm’s way. They proceeded to romp down the length of the run together.
Cam stared. ‘Who’d have believed it? They’ve become playmates.’
‘I’m convinced Fluffy thinks she’s a dog. I’m not sure what she’s going to do when we get more chickens.’
‘When are you planning on that?’
‘Just as soon as I do my research and know what I’m doing.’ The last thing she needed was a dead chicken or three. There’d been enough death in the children’s lives—and hers—to last them for a lifetime.
‘I’ve some books you can borrow.’
‘Thanks, but I have a couple on order at the library.’
Bellaroo Creek had the tiniest library on the planet—full of fat romance novels of which she’d fully availed herself. As part of the Greater Parkes Shire, though, the library had a huge range of books available through the inter-library loan scheme. Her books should arrive within the week.
Cam surveyed her. ‘You don’t want to accept my help?’
She recalled the heat that had hit her at the kitchen window, the silly flutter in her chest. ‘It’s not that. It’s just the library already has them on order for me.’ And she was not going to get into the habit of counting on Cam too much. Not when he was leaving Bellaroo Creek. Not when he heated her blood so quickly and assailed her senses so fully she found it impossible to keep her balance around him.
She dragged her gaze from the green promise of his eyes and gestured to the mower. ‘What do I need to know?’
He placed Sarah’s book on the garden bench Tess and the children had hauled around from the front yard last weekend, and gestured to the mower. ‘C’mon, then, up you get.’
He helped her climb on and his hand on her arm was warm and strong. Absurdly, it made her feel strong too.
‘Okay, quick overview—handbrake, foot brake and accelerator—’ he pointed to each of them ‘—and this lever here—’ he tapped it ‘—lifts and lowers the cutting blades.’
‘Right.’ She nodded. It was an auto transmission—easypeasy.
‘People generally run into two problems with ride-ons. The first is stalling the mower because they’re trying to set off too fast. The second is setting the cutter blades too low and hitting dirt. So let’s work on starting it up and moving forwards first. Ignition is right there.’ He handed her a key.
She fitted it to the ignition and it started up first go. She put her foot on the brake, let out the handbrake and then pressed down on the accelerator.
And stalled.
Cam didn’t laugh. He just reached over and pulled the handbrake on, hitting her with his heat and the scent of cut grass. ‘Okay, let’s try that again.’
Even though her heart beat faster, his calm confidence filtered into her.
‘Ease your foot gently onto the accelerator.’
She did as he instructed and this time the mower edged forward. She drove to the lemon tree before pulling to a halt again, a ludicrous flush of accomplishment surging through her. She grinned as he strode up to her and he grinned back. It suddenly struck her how sunny it was out here, how clear the sky and how good everything smelled.
He taught her how to reverse. He showed her how to adjust the blade level. ‘Okay, show me what you’re made of, Tess Laing. Off you go. I want to see you do a lap around the chicken coop.’
She took a deep breath and headed for the chicken coop. She finished the lap, headed for the back fence and then did it all over again.
‘Yee ha!’ Holding her hat to her head, she lifted her face to the sun and laughed for the sheer joy of it. Who knew a ride-on lawnmower could be so much fun? ‘Oh, man, I have to get me one of these!’
She clamped both hands back to the steering wheel as she whizzed around the chicken coop a third time. Barney raced the length of the chicken run beside her, barking madly and wagging his tail. Cam laughed at her, but she didn’t mind in the least. This—this mad, fun dash on the mower—felt like freedom.
With the kids having started school this week, she’d started to feel less tense, less…shackled. Until this morning, that was. But…to not have to be on her guard all the time, aware that her every move and word could impact on Ty and Krissie in some unforseen way. That…well, it was heaven.
Not that she didn’t miss the children being at home with her, but she relished the downtime from them too. Nobody had told her how much mess they could make, or how noisy they could be, or how grumpy they could get when they were tired or…or just how relentless parenthood was.
And nobody had warned her how much that could take out of a person.
Which went to show what a poor substitute she was for Sarah.
