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“You warned me you like being the main bread-winnner, which is okay with me. But I don’t think I would like being totally dependent. You have to realize I’ve worked and earned my own spending money since I was fifteen.”
“Then get another job. Dammit, I don’t want you working for Griffin.” He took his hand away from Cara’s thigh, just moments before she shoved it away.
“I can’t believe you’re jealous of Neil! That’s so ridiculous!”
“The guy’s against you marrying me, Cara. I can tell.”
Cara opened her mouth to object and then pressed her lips closed when she realized she couldn’t honestly speak a denial. Roy looked over at her knowingly. “I’ll bet he tried to talk you out of accepting my marriage proposal, didn’t he?”
“Whatever kind of advice Neil gave me prior to our becoming engaged, his only concern was my happiness. Ever since I told him I was going to marry you, he hasn’t said the first negative word. And he would never do or say anything to undermine our marriage once we’re husband and wife. Neil’s too honorable a person.”
“He’s got you convinced he’s some kind of saint. That’s for certain,” Roy muttered.
“Darn it, I wanted the two of you to be good friends.”
“Fat chance.”
Cara sighed, her anger ebbing and leaving her deflated. “This puts a damper on everything, Roy. My job is a big part of my identity, just like your job is a big part of who you are.”
“But you’re going to change your identity and become my wife, Cara. You’re going to become the mother of our kids.”
“And you’re going to become my husband and the father of our kids.”
He sucked in a breath and expelled it noisily. “Cara, you’re not telling me you’d back out of marrying me before you’d quit working for Griffin?”
“I’m saying it’s unreasonable for you to expect me to quit a job I love.”
The quarrel continued until they arrived at the church. Cara was so upset that she could barely concentrate on anything Father Kerby said during the pre-marital counseling session.
Afterwards Roy made a stiff offer to take her out to supper, and Cara refused, asking him to drive her back to the store where she’d left her car. He complied, obviously still furious at her.
Neil’s garage doors were raised. Cara glimpsed him bent over beneath the raised hood of the old car he was restoring, a 1954 Corvette. Following the same instinct that had led her to his house, she pulled into the driveway and got out.
He straightened up, wiping his hands on a rag as she approached. Country and western music played on a portable boom box sitting on a shelf. Cara was reminded of the many times she’d gone looking for him at different stages in her life, when she was down in the dumps about something and needed to talk. Often she’d found him tinkering with his car in his parents’ garage.
“Hi, there,” Neil greeted her now. His tone was gentle and his gaze perceptive. It wasn’t necessary to tell him she felt lousy. He was reading that message in her face and body language, she knew.
“Hi. Just like the old days, huh? Except your taste in music has changed. You used to listen to rock and roll.”
He shrugged. “Occasionally I tune in a classic rock station.”
“Too many painful memories?” Cara’s voice was soft with sympathy as she filled in the gaps of what he hadn’t needed to explain. Some of those hit songs on classic rock stations would take him back to the era when he’d dated Lisa, back to their married years.
“Yes. You and Roy had a spat?” he asked. As always, he seemed more interested in her than himself.
“It was more than a spat. Neil, he insists I quit my job!” she burst out.
“I was afraid of that.”
“He’s actually jealous of you! I tried to tell him that you’re like a brother to me, but I couldn’t seem to get it through that thick skull of his that my relationship with you poses no threat to him.”
Neil crossed his arms and leaned against the car. The slump of his shoulders spelled out resignation. “It won’t be easy to replace you, but I certainly understand your position.”
“My position is that I’m not quitting.”
He sighed, rubbing a hand down the back of his head and neck. “Cara, there’s a lot of give and take in a marriage.”
“Roy’s being unreasonable. He’s not considering my feelings. I love my job. When I said yes to him, it was with the full intention of continuing working. For years and years.”
“You plan to have a family, don’t you?”
Cara bobbed her head in the affirmative. “Yes, but so what? I figured you wouldn’t mind if I set up a playpen at the store like Allison did when she had Jessica.” Allison was one of the two other women employees who worked in the office under Cara’s supervision. “Remember how we all pitched in and helped take care of Jessica? Even Jimmy and Peewee?”
“Maybe Roy will come around.”
“He’d better.” Cara stood on tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, letting her actions thank him for listening and being there for her, centering her world. He responded in kind, silently saying You’re welcome with a brief, warm hug. “See you tomorrow,” she called over her shoulder as she walked to her car.
“Drive carefully,” he called back, his tone sober and concerned.
On the way to her apartment, Cara remembered the question Roy had asked her this afternoon during their heated argument: You’re not telling me you’d back out of marrying me before you’d quit working for Griffin?
Yes, Roy, that’s what I’m telling you, she thought now. She simply couldn’t marry anyone who expected her to cut Neil out of her life. For that was what Roy actually demanded.
Even though Neil had never said as much, Cara knew intuitively that he needed her to be there for him, too. She brightened up his day-to-day existence. Under no circumstances was she going to abandon him.
If Roy couldn’t understand, then he definitely wasn’t the right husband for Cara. She needed to call a halt to the wedding plans.
Her whole family would be terribly disappointed, but no more disappointed than Cara would at postponing becoming a married woman. By the time she eventually did find a better husband prospect—a man more considerate of her needs—Sophia would have passed away. Cara would live the rest of her days regretting that she hadn’t fulfilled her grandmother’s wish to attend her favorite granddaughter’s wedding.
Moving like an old man, Neil closed the garage doors after Cara’s car had disappeared from sight. Her visit had robbed him of all incentive to resume his repairs to the engine of the car. After turning off the boom box, he went inside his silent house.
For all her bravado, Neil expected that Cara would give in to Xavier’s ultimatum that she quit her job at Griffin’s Auto Parts. What choice did she have?—other than to cancel the wedding, and she wouldn’t go that far. Those same pressures that had caused her to settle for Xavier were still operative, primary among them the desire to grant her dying grandmother’s fervent wish to see Cara married.
In a matter of a few weeks or a couple of months at most, Cara would no longer be Neil’s employee. He wouldn’t have daily contact with her. For a while she’d keep in touch, dropping by the store occasionally or calling him on the phone. Then she’d get caught up in her world that didn’t include him any more.
The whole chain of events he foresaw was so damned depressing. And yet Neil couldn’t let Cara suspect how her absence from his life would affect him. Not for anything would he cause her guilt on his behalf.
Xavier might as well snatch the sun right out of the sky as deprive Neil of Cara’s sunny presence.
In the kitchen, Neil opened the refrigerator and closed it. He wasn’t hungry, and the effort to fix himself even the simplest meal didn’t seem worth the trouble.
Chapter Three
Cara stuck her head in the door of the stockroom, where Neil was training a new stockboy. “Neil, I’m going to the post office now. Can I run any errands for you while I’m out and about?”
“Hmm, seems like there was some errand,” he replied, scratching his head. “I’ll walk out with you. Maybe it’ll come to me.” Mainly Neil was seizing the opportunity to talk to Cara one-on-one.
Three days had gone by since she’d come to his house. She’d been awfully subdued for someone usually so outgoing and carefree. He hadn’t questioned her about the status of her relationship with Xavier out of respect for her privacy, instead waiting for her to come to him. But so far she hadn’t, and Neil was concerned about her.
“Is everything okay?” he asked when they’d emerged from the store, both of them pausing to carry on conversation. “Did you patch things up with Xavier?”
Cara sighed. “Yes, but it’s not going to work out. I’ve decided to break up with him.”
“I noticed he hasn’t been around.”
“He’s making a big deal about not coming here to the store in order to avoid you. But there are more issues than my job. Roy’s turned out to be a domineering type. I would never be happy married to him.” She mustered a smile. “Your instincts were right on target, not surprisingly.”
“Better to find out now,” he said, his voice gruff with sympathy.
“If only I hadn’t talked myself into saying yes to him. You don’t know how I dread breaking the news to my family that there isn’t going to be a wedding. I’ll never live this down.” She closed her eyes and shuddered. “What a mess. Nonna and my mother and sisters didn’t waste a minute going shopping for their outfits to wear. They all spent a fortune.”
“They haven’t worn the outfits. Can’t they be returned?”
“That’s not the point. It’s just going to be such a big letdown for the whole family.” Cara shook her head slowly, her pretty face haunted. “Especially Nonna. It was so cruel of me to give her a false sense of happiness. Last night I lay awake half the night, trying to think of some solution. I even considered begging Roy to go through with the wedding with the agreement that we’d only stay married while Nonna was alive. Then we’d get a divorce. But I know he wouldn’t do it.”
“That’s a crazy idea. You poor kid. I wish there was something I could do to help you out.” Neil wrapped his arms around her and hugged her close, not really caring that cars were passing by on the street behind the store parking lot.
Cara leaned into him, burrowing her cheek against his shoulder. “What I need is a bridegroom and temporary husband. It wouldn’t be a bad deal for a man who liked Italian food,” she said with a brave attempt at humor. “You’ve eaten my lasagne.”
“I sure have, and you’re tempting me to volunteer.”
“I wish.” She kissed him on the cheek and stepped away, glancing out toward the street. “There goes Agnes Tanner in that green car, talking on her trusty cell phone. The whole town will be abuzz with her description of us in a clench outside the store.”
“Then our romance following your breakup up with Xavier won’t come as any great surprise,” Neil said lightly, wanting to make her smile at his ridiculous statement.
Cara gazed at him searchingly. “You wouldn’t really consider a fake romance, would you, Neil?”
“No, because you’re not serious about a fake marriage,” he chided her.
“I could be serious if you were willing. It wouldn’t be at all unpleasant sharing a house with you for six months or a year. We get along great. You wouldn’t invade my space and I wouldn’t invade yours. But, I realize that would be asking far too much.” She turned to leave and then stopped. “Was there an errand?”
“Yes, but I still don’t remember what it was.” He waved her on and went back inside, no less worried about her well-being than he’d been before she’d filled him in. She’d gotten herself into a no-win situation with the best of intentions. Neil was afraid she would cave in to all the pressures bearing on her and end up going through with marrying Xavier rather than cancel the wedding and disappoint her family.
Damn it, he wouldn’t stand by and let her do something that desperate. If nothing else, he would agree to participate in her far-fetched scheme to fake a marriage.
Why not? He wasn’t dating anyone, didn’t foresee wanting to date anyone, ever. Cara was wrong. It wouldn’t be asking too much of him. Not too much at all.
The talk with Neil hadn’t erased Cara’s dilemma, but, as always, she felt better after confiding in him, more positive that things would be okay. Somehow. Some way.
It surprised—and intrigued—her that he hadn’t been more emphatic in his refusal when she’d asked, You wouldn’t really consider a fake romance?
Cara couldn’t help wondering whether she could actually persuade Neil to agree to a temporary marriage. Whether or not he would go that far to help her out, she would never know because she wouldn’t ask that big a favor of him.
And yet…
The idea was crazy. Not to mention the dishonesty involved in speaking marriage vows with the intention of not staying married. But wouldn’t the good outweigh the bad? Wouldn’t God understand? How could it be wrong to grant Nonna’s wish to attend Cara’s wedding before she died?
However, Cara wouldn’t have to wrestle with the morality of a temporary marriage. She wouldn’t bring the subject up again with Neil, and he was her only candidate for a temporary husband.
Cara couldn’t imagine entering into such an arrangement and living for a period of time with any other man she knew. Not even Roy. Odd how easily she could imagine moving into Neil’s house and becoming his housemate.
The imaginary scenario occupied her mind while she drove to and from the post office. On her return to the store, she gave herself a stern lecture. It’s not going to happen, Cara, so let’s get back on track and focus on reality. Okay?
“Okay,” she said aloud glumly.
True to her word, she put aside the whole train of thought, though unwillingly.
“Cara, if you’re not in a big hurry, could you stick around a few minutes?” Neil asked.
“Sure.”
It was quitting time, and the store employees were leaving. Cara did a few tasks and straightened her desk, not finding Neil’s request unusual. She assumed he wanted to discuss some store-related matter.
As soon as everyone had gone, he came back into the office. “Are you seeing Xavier tonight?” he inquired.
“No, he has a poker game.”
Her answer seemed to give him pause. “Then why don’t I take you out to dinner?”
Cara’s immediate reaction was pleasure. “I’d like that.”
“Good. I’ll pick you up about seven o’clock.”
“Where are we going? Just so I’ll know how to dress.”
He named a popular restaurant that served steak and seafood.
On the way to her apartment Cara wondered what had prompted Neil to issue the invitation. Did she look so down in the dumps that he’d felt sorry for her? Whatever the reason, she was glad. It would be a treat to get together with Neil away from the store. Cara meant to keep the conversation on subjects other than her problems.
As she changed clothes and freshened her makeup, Cara found herself remembering how as a preteen girl she’d daydreamed about getting old enough to date Neil. She’d been so envious of his girlfriends. Cara was seventeen and going steady with her current heartthrob when Neil became engaged to be married, but she still suffered jealous pangs when she met Lisa, Neil’s fiancée and later his wife.
If tonight were really a date, it would be the realization of a lot of wishful thinking at more youthful stages of Cara’s life. But tonight wasn’t really a date. Cara and Neil were long-time friends, employee and employer. He wasn’t—and never would be—interested in her as a woman. The grown-up Cara accepted that fact of life and was happy with their relationship.
But what if Neil were interested in her? Cara brushed aside the question, since such speculation was pointless.
Neil arrived a couple of minutes early. Cara was ready and keeping a watch out for him. He’d changed clothes, too, she noticed as she climbed into the passenger seat of his pickup. Instead of his khaki pants and red knit shirt with his first name and Griffin Auto Parts embroidered on the pocket, he was wearing navy slacks and a crisp striped shirt. He looked clean-cut and handsome, his sandy hair neatly combed and his tanned skin emphasizing the blue of his eyes.
It occurred to Cara as she clipped her seatbelt, that Neil’s looks appealed to her a whole lot more than Roy’s ever had. The honest insight made her feel guilty. Talking herself into marrying Roy just because he was available and willing hadn’t been fair to him.
“Mom said to tell you hello,” Neil said. “She called right after I got home from the store.”
“How is her golf game coming along?”
“Not too good. But she’s having fun playing with a group of retirees who’re also beginners.”
“Is your dad managing to keep himself occupied?”
“Yes, he’s discovered the Internet and is looking up old army buddies.”
