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Neil slowly sat back down. Roy Xavier was the automobile salesman she’d been dating for quite a while, but Neil hadn’t gotten the impression she was serious about the guy. “What was your answer?”
“I sort of turned him down.”
“‘Sort of’?”
“I told him the truth. That I like him and enjoy his company on our dates, but I don’t think I’m in love with him.” She studied Neil’s face closely, an anxious frown cutting tiny lines between her eyebrows. “You seem relieved I didn’t say yes.”
“Your announcement took me by surprise,” he said, not comfortable with admitting that he was relieved. Neil didn’t understand himself why his gut reaction to the idea of her marrying Roy Xavier had been so strongly negative, other than the fact that nobody she’d ever dated had seemed good enough for her.
“I wasn’t prepared for him to propose,” she confided. “I stammered around, like an idiot. Thoughts were whirling around in my head. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, plus a part of my brain was ticking off Roy’s qualifications that would make him a good husband for me.” She used her fingers now to tick off those qualifications as she listed them for Neil. “He’s a good-hearted guy. He’s successful at his job. Most months he’s the top car salesman at the dealership. He’s a church going man. He’s from a large family. I haven’t been around his parents a lot, but I like them just fine, and he seems to like mine.” In her expressive way, Cara threw up her hands. “Why not marry Roy? That’s the question. Especially when I’ll be thirty years old my next birthday.”
“You said yourself you’re not in love with him. Not after dating him for what, six months?”
“Six and a half months actually.” She resumed her argument with Neil and with herself. “Maybe there are some people in the world who don’t ever fall head over heels in love. Maybe with those people, love grows gradually out of respect and affection. Romantic love doesn’t last anyway, right?”
“Cara, you’re trying to talk yourself into marrying Roy Xavier.”
“You think I’d be making a big mistake?”
Yes. Neil clamped his jaw closed to keep from speaking the definite reply that rose to his lips. “What I think doesn’t matter. It’s your life and your decision. But don’t feel pressured into marrying Roy or anybody else just because you’re tired of being single and would like to make your grandmother happy.”
“But you don’t dislike Roy?”
“I don’t know Roy well enough to like or dislike him. He seems like a nice enough guy,” Neil added, aware that he sounded grudging.
Cara held out her left hand and gazed wistfully at her bare ring finger. “He didn’t buy an engagement ring. He said we could go shopping together and pick one out.”
“So Roy hasn’t given up hope that you’ll say yes, I take it.”
“Oh, no. He was disappointed by my reaction to his proposal, naturally, but he’s willing to give me some time.” She placed her palms on the table and levered herself up. “Thanks, Neil, for listening to another segment in the Life of Cara soap opera. I feel better now, more able to cope. Talking to you about a problem always has that effect on me.”
Neil didn’t feel good at all about the outcome of the heart-to-heart talk they’d had. In fact, suddenly his mood was lousy.
“Boss, a sales rep is out here and wants to talk to you.” Peewee stuck his head in the doorway to speak to Neil. He named the muffler company the sales person was representing.
“Tell him I’ll be right out,” Neil said.
“Will do.” Peewee left.
Cara came around the table. “You go and talk to the rep. I’ll tidy up,” she said.
“You’re not the maid around here.”
Neil had made that point clear in an employees’ meeting recently. He’d posted a new sign, restating his father’s old rule that each person using the lounge was to clean up after himself or herself out of consideration for fellow employees. Cara hadn’t complained to Neil, but he’d noticed that she was taking it upon herself to clear the table and tidy up when her co-workers didn’t bother to pick up after themselves.
“Don’t be so doggoned self-sufficient,” she scolded him, slapping his hand lightly away as he reached for his empty beverage can. “I like to do something nice for you when I get the chance. It’s payback time.” Cara stood on tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek, then gave him a shove toward the door.
“Thanks, Cara.”
“You’re welcome.”
With efficient movements, she crumpled up the butcher paper around the uneaten portion of the po’boy. He’d gotten down most of his three-quarters of the sandwich, much to Cara’s satisfaction. Now if he didn’t eat a square meal for supper, at least he’d had some nourishment today, she reflected.
Cara only wished she could do more than help Neil run his business and make sure that he ate right. She worried about him and her heart ached for him when she thought about all that he’d been through, losing his wife and child. They’d been killed in a terrible ten-automobile pile-up on a Memphis interstate. Lisa and three-year-old Chris, along with a dozen other people, had simply been unlucky enough to be on the highway at the wrong time.
Neil had been out of town, doing his job as a sales rep for a major manufacturer of automobile parts. Cara sensed that in low moments he might sometimes wish he’d perished with his family instead of having been spared their fate. But she thanked God for sparing him. She loved Neil every bit as much as she loved her four brothers, and, truth be told, she was closer to him than to Tony or Michael or Sal or Frankie.
Cara had been raised with the philosophy that everything happens for a reason, and all events figure into a divine plan that humans may not comprehend. It was impossible to understand why a wonderful guy like Neil would have such a horrible thing happen to him, but Cara couldn’t help but be glad for herself that he’d come back into her life three years ago when he quit his job and moved back here from Memphis, a thirty one-year-old widower.
Every day when she came to work she looked forward to seeing Neil. What was it he’d told her today about knowing when Mr. Right came along? An empty can in either hand, Cara paused on her way over to the recyclables bin, recalling Neil’s exact words: When you imagine living the rest of your life without him, you won’t be able to stand the thought.
What she couldn’t imagine was ever wanting to work at a different job with another boss besides Neil. Whether or not she married Roy, Cara would keep her job. She would continue to see Neil every day. Their relationship wouldn’t change.
With the lounge restored to a spic-and-span state, Cara returned to the office and tackled her work with renewed energy. Somehow her ruminations about her stable job situation had eased a great deal of the anxiety of deciding whether to accept or reject Roy Xavier’s marriage proposal.
Chapter Two
“Thank you, Aunt Cara!” chorused four-year-old Lea and Lauren in unison. They’d just ripped open Cara’s birthday gifts, identical little-girl makeup kits. “Now we can put on makeup and look pretty, like you!”
Mia, the twins’ mother, feigned insult, arms akimbo. “Your mommy puts on makeup once in a while and looks pretty, too, when she has time.”
“It doesn’t do your Aunt Cara a lot of good to primp,” Cara’s oldest brother Tony addressed his young nieces, a wide grin on his face.
“Oh, no, here we go again,” groaned Cara, clapping her hands over her ears.
Tony raised his voice. “Because Aunt Cara can’t seem to catch her a man to marry.”
“Stop picking on your baby sister,” scolded Rose LaCroix, eyeing her eldest son fondly.
The twins were more interested in their pile of presents than in adult verbal exchanges. They tore the wrappings from two more packages and drew general attention back to themselves, but Cara knew it was only a matter of time before she came in for more half teasing, half serious ribbing about her single status. She’d almost come to dread large family gatherings like this one.
Today the crowd on her parents’ rear lawn included all eight LaCroix siblings, the wives and husbands of the seven who were happily married, twenty-five grandchildren and assorted neighbors and relatives. Cara hadn’t counted heads, but there were between fifty-five and sixty people present. The youngest was her brother Sal’s six-month-old baby boy, Stevie, who was being passed around and tossed in the air and played with. The oldest was Sophia, holding court in a lawn chair and looking frail in a new ruffled pink duster.
Cara had helped her grandmother get dressed earlier. She’d combed Sophia’s fine silver hair, dusted face power and a touch of blush on her dear old wrinkled, gaunt cheeks, and fastened her antique garnet earrings in her ears. While she’d chattered on about various subjects, Cara kept remembering the conversation she’d overheard yesterday morning when her grandmother had described her wonderful dream about attending Cara’s wedding. Cara had imagined Sophia’s thrilled reaction if her youngest—and favorite—granddaughter confided, “Nonna, guess what? The man I’m dating, Roy Xavier? He proposed, and I’ve decided to say yes!”
Cara had almost decided. She’d gone over and over the pros and cons of marrying Roy and come up with all pros except for one single con—she wasn’t crazy in love with him. But maybe she never would fall crazily in love. A year or two from now, Cara might look back and regret turning Roy down.
The only thing holding Cara back at this point was Neil’s opposition. She’d always valued his advice and sought his approval.
Neil was the only person in her circle of important people Cara could trust to be discreet. That was why she hadn’t confided in any of her three sisters or her mother or Sophia. Rose would tell Sophia, swearing her to secrecy, and vice versa. They would tell Natalie, Cara’s oldest sister, once again admonishing her not to tell a soul. Natalie would pass along the news to Angie in strictest confidence. Angie would tell Mia. Inevitably the three sisters’ husbands would be made privy to the secret and they’d tell Cara’s brothers, who would tell their wives. It would be just a matter of time before Cara’s personal business would become the hot topic of family discussion. Everybody would have an opinion and state it— To one another and to Cara, who had learned the hard way not to be a blabber-mouth about her private life.
“We love all our presents!” sang out Lea and Lauren once all the packages had been opened, responding prettily to coaching from their mother.
“Now can we play Pin the Tail on the Donkey?” asked one of the twins’ cousins, setting off a litany of childish requests to play the traditional LaCroix birthday party game.
Eighteen-year-old Mark, the oldest LaCroix grandchild, good-naturedly carried out his assignment for the afternoon, herding the crowd of children over to an outside wall of the garage. A large poster of a donkey, much repaired with transparent tape had already been thumbtacked to the white-painted boards.
“There’s more cake and ice cream for seconds,” Rose informed the adults over the din of laughter and a dozen different conversations.
Cara was just now taking her turn at holding six-month-old Stevie. “Aren’t you precious?” she cooed to her little nephew as he gurgled and smiled at her.
“Hey, could Carmen and I have everybody’s attention? We have some big news to share.” The request came from Cara’s youngest brother Frankie, who at thirty was only a year and some months older than her. Heads turned in his direction. Frankie hugged his wife close to his side, and the two of them grinned at each other, like co-conspirators. “Looks like Stevie’s gonna have a little cousin playmate in less than nine months. Carmen’s expecting again.”
Cara added her sincere congratulations to the cacophony and tried not to look wistful. She and Carmen had been classmates in school, and now the other woman was pregnant for the third time and obviously blissfully happy about her condition.
For a few seconds Cara fantasized, visualizing Roy and herself here in the midst of the LaCroix family, making a similar announcement. Roy would look every bit as proud as Frankie did. Cara could feel his arm around her, strong and supportive.
The fantasy could easily come true. All Cara had to do was tell Roy she’d made up her mind and wanted to marry him. Immediately she could set a date for just a few months from now and start making whirlwind wedding plans to insure that Sophia was well enough to attend. How Cara wanted her grandmother to be there when she walked down the aisle, finally a bride instead of a bridesmaid.
It would make Sophia so happy. It would make the whole family happy and would mark the end to Cara’s being the lone unmarried sibling.
Stevie had begun to fret. His mother, Barb, appeared and reached for him, saying, “I’ll bet my little guy is hungry.” Feeding Stevie was strictly his mom’s job, since Barb was breast-feeding. Cara handed the infant over reluctantly. Her arms felt empty. She felt absurdly alone, an oddity, in the midst of her large, affectionate family.
I want to be half of a married couple, she thought. I want to get pregnant and have a baby. I want to be a wife, a mommy, a married daughter and granddaughter and sister.
She could have what she so badly wanted.
I’ll do it, Cara promised herself silently. She sucked in a breath of deep relief as the vapor of indecision evaporated. In its place grew an urgency to talk to Roy as soon as possible. She would tell him right away, before she even said hello. Yes, yes, yes, I will marry you.
Cara didn’t want to waste a minute getting things in motion now that her mind was made up.
“That’s really eye-catching,” Cara said. She’d walked up behind Neil. He was near the front of the store setting up a display of car waxes and polishes. “Is that a new product? The bright blue can?”
“Yes, it’s supposed to be the hottest new car wax on the market.”
“Really. I’ll have to tell Roy. He keeps that car of his so shiny you can see your reflection in it.”
“Yes, he does keep it waxed to a high shine. But then cars are his business.” Neil managed to keep his voice even, not an easy feat when he was talking about Cara’s husband-to-be. The more he was around Roy Xavier, the more Neil disliked the man.
And since Cara had gotten engaged to Xavier two weeks ago, the car salesman had taken to dropping by the store often. Neil’s gut instinct told him that, despite a phony show of friendliness, Xavier didn’t like him, either.
“Roy is coming by to pick me up. We’re meeting with Father Kerby at the church.” Cara had tipped her head back and hunched up her shoulders.
“What’s wrong? Tense muscles?” Neil asked.
“Planning this wedding is killing me,” she declared, rolling her head in a circle. “I try not to get uptight, but there’s so much to be done in such a short time.”
“You’re pushing yourself too hard. Here. Let me work out some of the knots for you.” Neil turned her so that she faced away from him. Then he began to massage her neck and shoulders.
“That feels so good,” she said. “I need you to do this before I go to bed at night. Then maybe I could fall asleep right away.”
Roy Xavier spoke from behind Neil. “Hey, I object. The only man who’s giving my woman a massage at bedtime from now on is me.”
“Oh, hi, Roy,” Cara said, her voice lazy with relaxation. “Just give me another minute or two of this heaven.”
“We’re kind of short on time, baby,” he replied.
“Are we? Too bad. Thanks, Neil.” With a sigh, she pulled away reluctantly, and Neil dropped his hands just as reluctantly.
“How are things going, Roy?” he asked, striving to sound genial. Hearing Xavier address Cara as baby in a tone of ownership had grated on Neil’s nerves.
“Couldn’t be better,” the other man replied. His clipped tone jarred with his usual smooth salesman’s manner.
Cara didn’t seem to notice anything amiss. “I’ll be about thirty minutes late tomorrow morning, Neil. I have to run by the printer’s on my way to work and look at some sample wedding invitations.”
“Take your time,” he said. “You need to slow down a little. You’re running yourself ragged getting your wedding organized.”
“Ready, baby?” Xavier drew Cara close and kissed her on the mouth. He would have turned it into a lingering kiss if Cara had cooperated, but she didn’t, Neil noticed, his fists clenching with repugnance.
“I just need to get my handbag. Bye, Neil.”
“See you tomorrow.” Neil averted his head, fixing his gaze on the display instead of watching them leave together, Xavier’s arm around Cara’s waist, staking possession.
The guy wasn’t nearly good enough for Cara. Why couldn’t she see what a mistake she was making? She was just settling for Roy Xavier because she was ready to marry somebody, but mainly because she so badly wanted to make her grandmother happy. Neil was convinced that the business about Sophia’s dream had tipped the scales for Cara.
He didn’t know how he was going to force himself to attend the wedding. Just the thought of watching the ceremony made Neil want to do something to intercede.
Cara was making a mistake. She wasn’t going to be happy as Roy Xavier’s wife. No way.
“Roy, it’s fine to give me a peck on the lips to say hello in front of Neil, but I wish you wouldn’t kiss me as though we had privacy,” Cara said after she and Roy had left the store. “It embarrasses me and makes Neil uncomfortable.” Her cheeks still felt flushed with her annoyance.
“He looked way too comfortable putting his hands all over you,” Roy replied, his voice angry.
“Don’t be ridiculous! He didn’t have his ‘hands all over me’! He was massaging my neck and shoulders. Neil has never touched me in any sexual way.”
“Every time I come into the store, he’s hugging you or patting you. I don’t like it one bit.”
“That’s an exaggeration. Even if it were true, Neil and I are like brother and sister.”
Roy grunted skeptically.
They got into his car. Cara wanted to say more, but she decided to let the subject drop for now. Before she could start up a friendlier exchange, Roy spoke in a more conciliatory tone.
“Let’s don’t fight, baby. But try to see things from my point of point. How would you like walking into the dealership and seeing me being familiar with one of the secretaries?”
“I wouldn’t like it. But you haven’t had a lifelong friendship with one of them, have you?”
Roy held up his hand, and Cara interpreted the gesture as signaling the end of the discussion. She stayed silent while he pulled out onto the street, deciding to let him start up a different conversation.
“Griffin was right about one thing.” Roy took his right hand off the wheel and rested it on her thigh. “You are running yourself ragged organizing our wedding and working a full-time job. I say go ahead and quit the job now. Give him two weeks’ notice, of course.”
“Quit my job?” Cara was staring at him in utter surprise.
“We both want to start a family right away, right? Didn’t we agree on that?” He rubbed her thigh suggestively. “At the risk of bragging, I expect to make you pregnant during our honeymoon.”
“I never said anything about quitting my job when I got pregnant. I’m sure Neil will give me maternity leave the last month or two, if I need to take leave.”
“You’ll have plenty to do to keep you busy without working. Things like decorating a nursery for the baby. Plus keeping house and cooking meals. Remember, I warned you I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy who likes the idea of being the breadwinner.”
