The Best Of The Year - Modern Romance 2016

All her resentment and anger, her conviction that she could never in a thousand years fall for a guy like him, now seemed like naïve stupidity. She had been able to hate the one-dimensional cardboard cut-out, but the minute the three-dimensional man had emerged she had not been able to resist.

She’d turned into just another one of his conquests, and she shivered at the prospect of those lips touching hers and her knowing that she wanted more. She was terrified of being betrayed—not just by her own weak body, but by her emotions.

Her head buzzed with so many scenarios that she was barely aware of the flight. He left her to stew. In fact she was certain that he wasn’t even aware of her presence next to him. He was utterly absorbed in his work, and sex, however compelling, played second fiddle.

Only as they were taxiing on landing, and after having fitfully dozed for part of the trip, did she find other concerns settling—and the main one was whatever it might be that her father had to say to her.

All over again she felt anxiety begin to claw at her insides. Theo had calmed her fears by telling her that if her mother’s health was involved he would have known about it. Now, Alexa could see all the flaws in that argument. Why would her father advertise something like that to his dad? It was a personal problem and he would surely want to keep it to himself. The fact that his instincts had always been to protect her from anything unpleasant meant that whatever he wanted to say must be of grave concern. It must be something he couldn’t keep from her.

‘What if something’s really wrong with Mum?’ she couldn’t help asking as they disembarked.

She hated herself for appealing to Theo for reassurance, but she had had time to contemplate the worst and she needed to hear the strong conviction in his voice. It was irritating—especially considering she should be trying to erect whatever fragile defences she still had at her disposal to protect her pathetic, foolish heart—but she needed his logical explanation. Even though she had already convinced herself that it made no sense.

‘It won’t be.’

Theo had had plenty of time on the trip to try and work out why he was in the process of breaking his own self-imposed rule never to chase any woman. She was backing away, and instead of shrugging his shoulders and moving on he was intent on pursuit. Ego and pride, he presumed. Not exactly the most endearing traits in the world, but he wasn’t going to pretend that there was anything more to it than that.

‘But you don’t know...’

Theo stared down at her flushed, earnest face and his libido kicked into gear with surprising ferocity. What was it about this woman that made him want to drag her off to the nearest empty room and take her?

He actually caught himself doing a brief mental tour of what he could recall of their route towards Immigration, trying to figure out if there were any cubbyholes he could pull her into, so that he could yank down those oh, so prim and proper trousers, taking her underwear with them, and have sex with her in the most basic way possible.

Reluctantly he gave up the idea, but this, he thought, was precisely why he would carry on his pursuit... Because to back off now, when neither of them wanted to, whatever she said to the contrary, would be like having to endure an indefinite erection without the benefit of a cold shower to get rid of it.

‘Nor do you,’ he said with a hint of impatience. ‘Now, don’t forget that we’re back in the public eye. Try not to trail behind me—and it would help if you wiped that anxious expression off your face.’

With his free hand he massaged the nape of her neck, underneath her silky hair—which Alexa knew was unnecessary because there was no one with a camera around. But he had warned her that he wasn’t going to play by her rules... He was just proving to her that he had meant what he said.

And right now, in these crowds, she was powerless to do anything about it.

Even when they were in the back of his chauffer-driven car—he had called from the airport for it to come for them—she still had an insane urge to close the gap she had studiously put between them.

Like a predator, with all the time in the world to hunt its prey, he made no move to get closer to her, contenting himself with watching her through brooding, speculative eyes that gave her goosebumps.

Finally she hissed, with one eye on the driver, although the screen, as always, was up, ‘I wish you’d stop staring at me!’

‘Why?’ Theo drawled.

‘Because I don’t like it!’

‘Liar. You like it—and so do I.’

His words floated around her like a physical caress. There was lazy intent in his eyes and she looked away hurriedly, her body turned on to screaming point. Because he was one hundred per cent right... She did like him staring at her—liked the way it made her whole body tingle, as though it had been plugged into an electric socket...

She heard herself launch into nervous chatter, babbling even while her body recalled how and where it had been touched, and fought against the seductive temptation to think about how and where it would be touched again...

She was surprised that they made it to her house with her nervous system still intact. Of course he hadn’t opened his computer once, or checked his phone at all. He’d just leaned against the door, limbs loose, his fabulous green eyes pinned to her face, fully aware that he was unsettling her and amused by it.

‘I’ll come in with you,’ Theo murmured, pressing a button and talking to the driver once the partition was lowered.

‘There’s no need,’ Alexa said hastily.

He didn’t bother to answer, instead stepping out of the car and moving round to wait for her as she followed suit.

‘There’s no need to pretend now that we’re here,’ she muttered as he neatly tucked her arm into the crook of his.

‘Oh, I know that,’ Theo murmured silkily, ‘but remember what I said to you?’

Alexa’s breath caught in her throat, because she knew that she just didn’t have the weapons for a sustained assault.

‘And remember what I said to you!’ But her voice was weak.

He actually laughed under his breath. Laughed and patted her on her arm. ‘You want me. Don’t fight it, Alexa. Enjoy it while it lasts. Now...’ his tone changed from lazy to brisk as he rang the doorbell ‘...why don’t we see what all the fuss is about with your father?’

CHAPTER TEN

NOT ONLY WAS her father waiting for her, so was her mother. And, even more ominous, so was Theo’s father. All three were hovering by the door, and she got the uneasy feeling that they had been waiting for their arrival.

Alexa automatically stepped a shade closer to Theo, who had sized up the situation and taken charge, smoothly querying their joint presence by the front door with the quirk of an eyebrow but not commenting on it, instead leading the way into the kitchen while conducting a running commentary on their trip, omitting the salacious details and focusing on filling his father in on Bob and Felicity.

They followed him like sheep.

The man was a born leader, and she could understand why her father had dangled the carrot of shares in the family firm, ensuring that he would oversee holding its reins in the years to come. A true marriage of convenience.

‘So...’

Somehow, without her noticing, Theo had managed to pour their collected parents glasses of wine and put the kettle on for coffee for both of them. He sauntered towards the kitchen table, which was a long oak affair that could comfortably seat twelve. He looked perfectly relaxed and utterly in charge.

‘Which lucky family member gets to tell us what’s going on...?’ he drawled, patting the chair next to him, into which Alexa sank with a sigh of relief, because nervous tension at this new, unsettling situation had piled up on top of the nervous tension already wreaking havoc inside her. He looked narrowly from face to face and his father cleared his throat.

‘We have been talking, son—’ Stefano said, sitting at the head of the table while the other two followed suit, flanking him on either side. Alexa’s mother nervously twirled the stem of her wine glass and looked at her daughter,

‘Let me, Stefano,’ Cora interrupted. ‘Now, Alexa, your father’s come clean and told me everything. I know you two have been worried sick about me, and I understand that you reached this...this...arrangement with poor Theo for the best possible reasons, but I don’t need protecting as much as you think.’

She looked lovingly at her husband, who looked away sheepishly.

Alexa’s brain had stopped at the description of Theo as ‘poor’, as in helpless, and she wanted to burst into hysterical laughter.

‘I’ve had health problems, all three of you know that, but they’ve been physical—not emotional. Yes, I’ll admit that I may have told your father, Alexa, that I longed for a grandchild—longed to see you settled down with a nice man—but what mother doesn’t wish that for her child? There was no need for you to concoct this silly scheme...’

‘So what are you saying?’ Alexa looked between the three parents in bewilderment. She was trying to follow what her mother was saying, but it was like walking in treacle. When she looked at Theo he was frowning, his brooding eyes speculative. It hit her just how much she had come to admire the silent strength of his personality, and was floored by how much it hurt to love him when her love wasn’t returned.

Stefano picked up the thread of the conversation. ‘We’re saying that there’s no need for this charade any longer. Certain things will remain in place...’

‘I promised you shares in my company,’ Carlo said, addressing Theo, ‘and that stays in place. I won’t pretend that I didn’t...’ he cleared his throat ‘...see certain advantages to helping your father out financially...’

‘Because you’re a manipulative old man.’ Cora smiled indulgently at her husband. ‘But, Alexa, darling, I don’t understand why you didn’t put your foot down and refuse to go through with this silly pretence. No...’ She sighed. ‘I do understand, and for that I have only love for you...’

Alexa’s head was swimming. She was now grasping exactly what was being said. She had been looking at the prospect of a year with Theo—a year trying to fight the impulses that were so much bigger than her...a year knowing that every time he crooked his finger it would take all the strength at her disposal not to go running...a year of knowing that she would walk away from their relationship battered and hurt beyond comprehension.

That year wasn’t going to happen now. She was being given her Get Out Of Jail Free card—and so was Theo.

And the future yawned in front of her like a black, empty void.

‘So...’ she said slowly.

‘Yes, my darling.’ Cora reached across the width of the kitchen table to pat her daughter’s hand. ‘And of course the press have hounded you both. You will simply tell them that the engagement’s off and so is the marriage...’

* * *

Alexa headed for the most secluded seat in the first class lounge at the airport. She didn’t want to be near anyone because she didn’t want to be dragged into making small talk. She’d been operating on automatic for the past three weeks and she planned on carrying on doing just that—at least until she reached London, when she was banking on new surroundings and the thrill of her new job to rescue her from the zombie-like torpor into which she had sunk.

Where had Theo gone? She didn’t know, and of course she had been too proud to ask her parents. She had moaned and railed against the situation in which she had found herself, and yet when that situation had been whipped out from under her feet she had been lost because she had become so dependent on him.

In the blink of an eye he had gone from being just the sort of guy she would run a mile from to being just the sort of guy she couldn’t imagine living without.

But live without him she would, and it hurt more than she could ever have contemplated in those carefree first few days when she had actually disliked him.

The press, predictably, had passed a few days speculating on the break-up of the perfectly matched couple and then, just as predictably, new scandals and gossip had drawn them away.

Now, staring down at the book on her lap, and with two hours of waiting ahead of her because she had been itching to leave, she thought back to the brief conversation she had had with Theo after his father and her parents had fled the scene, leaving them stranded in the kitchen like a couple of castaways, washed up on a beach after being stuck on a raft together but with nothing to say now that the storm had passed.

The passionate lover had gone. He had carefully asked her what her plans were now. One minute he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off her—the next minute, freed from the shackles of a union he’d never asked for, he’d been coolly indifferent.

Of course she had gone on about the relief of not having to face a marriage neither of them had wanted. The more indifferent he’d seemed, the more she had sparkled, voicing the joys of her newfound freedom.

And then he’d gone, and she’d been left in an empty kitchen contemplating the horror of her newfound freedom.

London. Her parents had an apartment there. It was where she had lived before she had left for Italy and she would go back there. She had phoned her old company, who had remembered her, and after a million calls they had found her a job.

The change of scene would do her good—she knew that. Just being in her parents’ house had reminded her of Theo. And in the dead of night, her whole body ached for him.

Right, she thought severely, think about the good stuff.

No falling deeper and deeper in love with a man who didn’t love her. No agonising year together, during which time he would have grown tired of her body and settled back into enduring the time he was forced to spend in her company. He had simply been her lover, and she knew that she would eventually meet someone else—someone she could entrust with her heart.

She forced herself to read a few pages of her book and was totally unaware of anyone approaching her until a shadow fell over her. When she looked down she saw a pair of very expensive loafers and didn’t bother to look any higher, because if she didn’t then whoever it was wouldn’t ask her if she’d mind if he sat next to her.

‘Alexa.’

For a few seconds Alexa was convinced that she’d misheard her name being said—and had definitely misconstrued that rich, mellow voice she had come to love.

She hunkered down and ignored whoever it was—because he hadn’t spoken, and it was just her feverish imagination playing tricks on her.

‘Are you going to acknowledge me or are you going to carry on reading...? What are you reading?’

The book was whipped out of her hands and there he was, standing right in front of her, as cool as a cucumber and as devastatingly sexy as every single memory she had of him.

In a pair of cream trousers and a black T-shirt, with a cream linen jacket hooked over one shoulder, he was drop-dead gorgeous.

‘Still on the crime novels, I see. Would you like me to predict the end?’

‘What are you doing here?’

Her voice was a hoarse whisper and she cleared her throat, then fidgeted as he took the empty chair next to her and pulled it in, so that there was no way she could avoid looking at him.

Theo wished there was an easy answer to that question—something glib that he could pull out from up his sleeve—but there wasn’t. He had spent the past three weeks unable to focus, unable to concentrate—unable to do anything but think about her, even though he had told himself that it was great that he had been released from the obligation of a marriage he hadn’t wanted...great that he could resume his life as he had always wanted it...great that his routine would be returned to him.

His address book was bulging with names and phone numbers of women, and all of them without exception would have welcomed a call from him. He had known that.

He hadn’t called any of them because he’d had too much catching up to do on the work front. That was what he had told himself. Until he’d been forced to face the fact that he missed her. Not just her warm, welcoming body, which he had known for such a brief period of time, but he missed the whole package. He missed the way she bristled and glared at him...the way she never obeyed any of his ‘No Trespassing’ signs but got stuck in and told him just what she thought of him anyway. He missed her shy, hesitant smiles and the ready way her eyes filled up with tears. He missed the softness underneath the feisty scrapper. Most of all he just missed the woman who had been born to have it all and had chosen to do her own thing and ignore the life she had been conditioned to lead.

Except he had no idea how to put any of that into words, and he could feel her blazing eyes on him—could feel her willing him to just go away.

‘How have you been?’ he asked, in a lame attempt to kick-start the conversation.

‘Fine,’ Alexa said coldly. ‘Are you travelling to London? I had no idea.’

‘And if you had you would have checked on to a different flight...?’

Alexa shrugged. ‘Probably,’ she told him truthfully. ‘You can’t deny that this situation is a little uncomfortable at the moment. I do realise we’ll probably bump into one another in the years to come, but right now...’

‘I get it. From being lovers and engaged to...nothing...’

Resting his forearms on his thighs as he leaned forward, Theo raked his fingers through his hair and took some small comfort from the delicate blush that bloomed in her cheeks at the mention of their having been lovers.

‘I don’t want to talk about that,’ Alexa said stiffly. ‘In fact I’d rather you left me alone,’ she continued, barely able to look at him. ‘I have lots of planning to do for my new job in London and I really would like to do that in peace and quiet.’

‘No.’

Alexa’s mouth dropped open and she stared at him. ‘What do you mean, no?’ she demanded furiously.

‘I haven’t come here so that I can disappear without telling you what I’ve come to say.’

‘Which is what?’

‘I liked being engaged to you.’ He looked around him at the crowded lounge. ‘I have my driver outside.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

Alexa was frantically trying to analyse what he had just said about liking being engaged to her. What did that mean? She didn’t want to dwell on it, because it meant nothing coming from a man who had spent the past three weeks avoiding her and who didn’t have a committed bone in his body—a man who had a block of ice for a heart.

‘I want to talk to you and I can’t do it here.’

‘Well, I don’t want to talk to you.’ Alexa’s body was ramrod-straight and as stiff as a board. She dreaded that one of those hands loosely dangling between his thighs might accidentally brush against her, because if it did then she knew the already uphill task of projecting indifference would be even harder.

‘Please.’

That single word was wrenched out of him and for a second she hesitated, because please was not a word that passed his lips very often.

‘What do you want to talk about?’ she asked, relenting a little.

Theo glanced at her and kept his gaze on her face.

‘I’ve missed you,’ he said roughly, and Alexa tried to hold on to some of her gritty determination not to melt.

You’ve missed having sex with me.

‘Are you travelling to London as well?’

‘I will if I have to. I’m booked on the same flight as you, although I’d rather we didn’t have this conversation on a plane or in an airport lounge...’

‘Look, I can’t think that there’s anything to talk about, Theo. I mean, you’ve got your freedom, and I know that was all you wanted when you thought you’d lost it for a year. So maybe you miss having sex with me? You said that you wanted to carry on sleeping with me until... Well, until you got bored and dispatched me to wherever it is you dispatch women you no longer want hanging around. Some locked cupboard in your head, I expect. Of course, physically I’d have still been around, until the year ran out, but as far as sleeping with me went I guess it would have been separate rooms and you discreetly returning to your diet of leggy blonde supermodels...’

Her voice was brittle and she looked away and stared straight ahead.

‘So I’m not going to jump into bed with you again just because you’re not bored with me yet, Theo.’

Theo heard what she was saying and knew that she was describing the man he had thought himself to be. Even when they had walked away from one another he had still thought himself to be a guy who worked hard, played hard and avoided commitment.

‘And I wouldn’t ask you to,’ he said quietly. ‘Are you sure you won’t dump your flight so that we can have this conversation somewhere a little less...frantic?’

‘No one’s paying us a scrap of attention.’ She sighed with heartfelt longing. ‘I just want to get to London and begin a new chapter in my life.’

Theo’s jaw hardened. He had heard a lot about this wonderful new chapter in her life on the night they had returned from the best time he had ever had with a woman, to discover that the charade was over and they were free to go. She couldn’t have waxed more lyrical when it had come to letting him know how relieved she was that the pretence was over.

Pride had turned his responses then to ice, and pride had kept him away for three weeks, but now he had discovered that there was something more powerful than pride and that had been a bitter pill to swallow.

‘Your mother tells me that you have a new job lined up.’

‘You spoke to her?’

‘That’s how I knew that you would be leaving for London today. She told me a few days ago...’

‘A few days ago? Since when have you and my mother been having cosy chats behind my back? She never mentioned a word about talking to you!’

‘Because I asked her not to.’ Theo flushed darkly.

‘You asked her not to? Why would you do that?’ Alexa was genuinely bewildered.

‘I...’ He hunkered down.

Never in his life had he felt less cool, more in danger of making a complete fool of himself and more exposed to rejection. Indeed, when it came to women he had never felt exposed to rejection, and he loathed the feeling of vulnerability. He had never been vulnerable. He had always had the direction of his life firmly within his controlling hand.

Alexa was even more bewildered at his discomfort. It just wasn’t him.

‘I never thought I wanted involvement with a woman,’ Theo surprised her by saying. His eyes met hers and held them. ‘Don’t interrupt me,’ he continued, returning to some of his usual form. ‘I...I didn’t have any crash-and-burn relationships that turned me off commitment. I never lost my heart to a gold-digger only to find out in the nick of time. I suppose I was simply a product of my background—just as my brother is. I was ambitious, and in my upward climb I enjoyed women but never invited any of them further than the front door, emotionally speaking.’

Alexa gave him an encouraging look. She was all ears.

‘I was in no hurry to settle down—in fact it never crossed my mind what sort of woman I would end up with, or even if I would end up with one at all.’ He paused and thought about the relationship his parents had had. ‘When my mother died Daniel and I watched my father fall apart at the seams. Actually,’ he confessed heavily, ‘we all fell apart. And that was when I realised just how destructive all-consuming love can be.’

‘Empowering,’ Alexa corrected in a staccato voice. ‘I’m sure your father would agree that it was better to have had all those wonderful years with your mother than to have lived the sort of life you want to carve out for yourself.’

Theo smiled crookedly at her. ‘And that’s why I thought that, whether I married you or not, you and I were poles apart. I admit that the only kind of marriage that ever crossed my mind after my mother died was one that would have been very similar to the one we found ourselves pushed into—a marriage of convenience. But not with a woman who was all about romance and love and happy-ever-after endings... What I anticipated was a relationship where I couldn’t be hurt—a relationship that was a mutually convenient business arrangement...’