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“When I grow up, I want to fish, ride horses and hunt,” Mark said.
Getting to know her nephews was a joy. Bella had the sense that Mark was more outdoorsy and that Caleb enjoyed being inside.
“Maybe someday you can work on my brother Thomas’s ranch,” Philip said, leading the boys back to the table, where they all sat down.
Bella frowned. That would never happen if Philip wasn’t going to marry her. It wouldn’t do for Philip to fill the boys’ hearts with dreams that weren’t going to come true. After the boys were in bed, she’d talk to him.
“Aunt Bella, are you sick?” Mark studied her face.
She smiled. “No, sweetie. Why?”
“You aren’t talking.” He laid his spoon to the side.
“I’m tired, not sick.”
Mark frowned. “Oh. All right.” He picked up his spoon and tasted the stew. A big smile pulled at his mouth. “This is good.”
Bella laughed. “I’m glad you like it. Now eat up and then we’re going to get ready for bed. It’s been a long day.”
Both boys did as she said. They tucked into their supper as if it was their last meal.
She sighed. If Philip wasn’t going to marry her, then how was she ever going to take care of the kids? Maybe she could see if Dove Creek needed a baker. But the short supply of money that she had wouldn’t be enough to rent them a place to live. Worry ate at her insides like a gopher gnawing at the roots of a tree. What was she going to do?
Chapter Three (#uf26b063b-65f3-57d8-808f-7581143f8c29)
An hour later, Bella cleaned the kitchen. She’d put the boys down on a pallet beside the fireplace. Their soft snores filled the kitchen and sitting room. Philip sat at the table nursing a cup of coffee.
Drying the last dish, Bella eased into the chair across from him. “Thank you for being so patient with the boys today.”
He nodded. “It was my pleasure.”
Bella traced the wood pattern on the table with her finger. How did she bring up the subject of him not promising the boys things that he couldn’t give them? She didn’t want to offend him, but she also didn’t want his empty promises hurting her nephews.
“Ma always says ‘The best way to say something, is just to say it.’” Philip set the cup on the table and waited.
Had he read her mind? “Your mother says that?”
“Yes. She’s my adoptive mother. She took me in when I was twelve years old,” Philip answered. His gaze moved to the sleeping boys.
“Oh, all right. Philip, I like that you have made friends with the boys, and to be honest, they have been happier today than I’ve seen them in a long time.” Bella stopped, once more wondering how to say what she felt needed to be said.
“But...?”
She sighed. “But please don’t make promises you have no intention of keeping.”
He frowned. “Like what?”
Bella met his gaze. “Like telling Mark that someday he could work on your brother’s ranch. I’ve no idea where we’ll be living.”
“I see.” Philip walked to the stove and refilled his cup. “What if I said I’ve been thinking about that?”
Did she dare hope he’d changed his mind about marrying her? Before her thoughts and worry overtook her, Bella asked, “Thinking about what?”
Philip returned, turned his chair around and sat down. He rested his arms against the wood. “Those boys need a father figure.” He studied her face.
She couldn’t argue with that, so Bella nodded. What was he saying? That he wanted to fill that position? And if so, what did that mean for her? The questions whirled in her mind like a Texas twister, but she held them inside, waiting for him to explain further.
He pressed on. “Seems to me that they’ve taken a cotton to me.” Philip ran a hand through his hair. And looked at her, waiting.
Bella thought she knew where he was going with this conversation but wanted him to be the one to get there. She stared back at him.
He cleared his throat. “Um, I grew up an orphan.”
She knew that. He’d mentioned it earlier. Bella continued to wait.
“And, well, I don’t want to see those boys in an orphanage like I was.” He paused again. “If you still want to get married, I’ll adopt the boys as my own.”
Bella wanted clarification. “You want to marry me?”
He sighed heavily and then answered. “Not really. But to keep those boys out of an orphanage, I’ll do it.”
So for the sake of the boys they were both willing to marry strangers. She sighed, too. “We are a pair, aren’t we?”
Philip nodded. “I’m not the marrying kind.”
“What does that mean?” Bella asked.
“My real mother died trying to give birth to my younger brother, who died with her. Then my pa simply gave up on life and grieved himself to death. When I was younger, I vowed not to marry or fall in love.” He took a sip of the warm coffee. “I don’t want to be married in the real sense of the word. I’m pretty sure my adoptive brother Thomas is the one who placed the advertisement that got you here. If it was up to me, I’d never marry, but since it’s my brother’s fault you are here, I will marry you and adopt the boys.”
Bella’s heart ached for the little boy whose parents both died, leaving him alone in the world at such a young age. It was obvious by the look on his face that Philip still hurt from his loss. She laid her hands on top of his folded arms. “I don’t want to get married, either, but for the sake of my nephews I made the decision to do just that.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Why don’t you want to marry?”
She pulled her hands from his arms and tucked them into her lap. Swallowing the hurt that welled up in her, Bella said, “Up until a month ago, I was engaged. Then when my fiancé found out the boys came with me, he broke off the engagement. I don’t want to get married or fall in love because I don’t trust anyone but myself and God now. Men leave at the least bit of trouble.” She turned her head so that he couldn’t see the tears in her eyes. They weren’t tears for the man who didn’t love her, but for the loss of her own life. Now she lived and did things for the boys.
Philip reached out and turned her head so that she faced him once more. She tried to ignore the hurt and tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. “Are you saying you’d be happy with a marriage where I gave you my last name and adopted the boys?”
“I suppose so. As long as you understand I can never fall in love with you. Or anyone else for that matter. My only concern is for the boys.”
Philip chuckled.
“What’s so funny?”
“Thomas and his wife, Josephine, had what Thomas called a marriage of convenience. Sounds like we’re agreeing to the same arrangement.”
She frowned. “I still don’t see the humor.”
Philip explained, “I sent for a mail-order bride for Thomas, and Josephine answered his ad. Now he’s done the same to me.” He shrugged. “I don’t know. All of a sudden, it struck me as funny.”
Bella shook her head, still not seeing the humor in their situation. She didn’t want to marry for love, but it saddened her that for the rest of her life she would be married to a man who didn’t love her. Was she overly tired? Or had the stress of the last month addled her brain? For the sake of the boys, theirs was to be a marriage of convenience.
* * *
The next morning, Philip folded his blanket and laid it on the couch. His gaze moved to the two sleeping boys. Cara had returned shortly after supper and she and Bella now slept in the only other room in the house.
He quietly walked to the front door, pulled on his boots, coat and hat and then headed outside to feed the horses. John was due back later and Philip wanted the relay station to be in tip-top shape when he arrived.
Philip yawned as he slipped out the door. Cold air tugged at his hat. Even though he’d been bone-tired the night before, sleep had evaded him like fog on a new spring morning. His mind refused to shut down. How was he going to take care of a family? After praying during the early hours, sleep and a plan came to him.
If John returned early enough, Philip intended on packing Bella and the boys up and taking them to the Young farm, where his adoptive family and Pony Express home station was. He could only imagine what Ma was going to say when he arrived with his future wife and children in tow.
Philip hurried to the warmth of the barn. He hummed as he fed the horses and mucked out stalls. His ma would probably be surprised, but also proud of him for taking on the two little boys, he was sure of it.
It was a typical January morning and the trip to the creek would be cold. When it could be delayed no longer, Philip picked up two large buckets and pulled the barn door open. A cold wind hit him as he shut the door and then headed out to get the water. The wind had picked up and blew about him.
With his head down, he reached the edge of the creek in a matter of minutes. When Philip looked up, he was surprised to see Bella at the water’s edge, scooping up a bucket of cold water.
Bella turned at his approach. “Good morning.”
He walked to the bank. “Good morning. I should have thought to come get fresh water for the house before heading to the barn. Here, let me take that,” Philip offered, setting one of his buckets down and reaching for hers.
She smiled and shook her head. “No, thank you. I’ve got it.” Bella took a step up the bank, her eyes downcast.
Was she having second thoughts about marrying him? Or was she feeling shy this morning? Philip hurriedly filled both buckets and then hurried after her. “How are the boys this morning?” he asked for something to say.
Bella glanced at him. “They were still asleep when I left the house.”
“Oh.” He tried to think of something more to say. Philip cleared his throat. “If it’s all the same to you, as soon as John gets home, I’d like to head for home.”
“Home?”
Philip ducked his head against a cold blast of wind. “Yes. My family’s home is the Young farm that is one of the Pony Express home stations. It’s about ten miles from here. I’d like for you to meet my family before we get married and move to the relay station.”
She nodded, also fighting against the wind. “That sounds nice. Do you have a large family?”
He grinned. “You could say that. Why don’t you go on inside with the water and I’ll be in as soon as I get the animals taken care of. We can talk then.”
Bella shivered and clutched the front of her tan coat tighter about her. “Sounds good.” She walked to the house at a fast pace.
Philip hurried through the remainder of his chores. Once done, he returned to the house. His boots pounded on the steps of the porch. The wind continued to pull at him as he opened the door. Warmth washed over his flesh, sending prickles into his face.
“Breakfast is almost ready, Philip,” Cara said, scraping scrambled eggs onto five plates.
His gaze sought out Bella’s. Compared to Cara, Bella was tall. The two women were as different as night and day. Cara’s hair was bright red, while Bella’s was sunshine blond. Cara’s green eyes were sharp and Bella’s blue eyes were soft. Bella’s voice was quiet with a gentleness that seemed to soothe, whereas Cara’s held an Irish brogue that tickled the ear.
Yes, they were different. He hoped that physical appearance was the only difference. Cara was as kind as a kitten. So far, Bella seemed to have the same trait.
Bella smiled at him. A soft pink filled her cheeks, reminding Philip that he was staring. He grinned and winked at her. The pink in her face burst into flames and turned bloodred. Philip couldn’t help but chuckle.
Cara laughed. “Hang your coat up, Philip, and stay awhile.” She carried the plates to the table. How she balanced them so well, Philip had no idea.
He did as she said. “It sure smells good.” Philip walked toward where the boys were seated at the table. “You men mind if I sit between you?” He pulled out the chair.
They both shook their heads. Their hair stuck up in all directions. They wore pajamas on their small bodies. “Bella usually sits between us,” Mark said, playing with his fork.
“Does she now?” Philip arched his eyebrow at the boy.
Caleb scratched his head. “Yep.”
He looked to Bella. She had moved to the stove and was pulling out a pan of fresh biscuits. “You can sit there. I’ll sit on the other side of Mark.” Once she’d placed the pan on the top of the stove, Bella motioned for him to sit.
Philip sat and waited for the women to join them at the table. Mark wiped at the sleep in his eyes, while Caleb yawned. When the women were seated, Cara asked him to bless the meal and he did.
The boys immediately began eating. They shoveled the food into their mouths as if they feared it would be their last meal. He remembered seeing other small children, half-starved, eating their first meal at the orphanage and his heart went out to the two small boys.
Bella softly said, “Slow down, boys. There is plenty of food.”
Caleb swallowed hard. “For now.”
Philip laid his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Looking deep into Caleb’s eyes, he vowed, “You boys will never go hungry again.”
“They have never gone hungry,” Bella said, her voice shaking. “I’ve always made sure they’ve had something to eat.”
He turned to look at her. “I didn’t mean to imply that you haven’t done your best.”
She lowered her head, but not before he saw that her eyelashes were damp. “And I didn’t mean to snap.”
Cara broke the silence that had formed around the table. “Philip, do you reckon John will be home today?”
“Probably. I’m sorry he took my ride.”
Cara laughed. “Not me. He needed a break from this place. Even if it is only for an overnight adventure.”
Philip nodded. He knew what she meant. A relay station was a place where the riders exchanged horses, unlike the home station, where they would stop and start their runs. A home station meant just that, home. John didn’t ride unless a rider couldn’t continue. He was pretty much stuck at the station, day in and day out. That was one of the reasons Philip and Thomas continued to ride for the Pony Express after they’d taken over the relay station on the other side of Dove Creek.
Bella looked from him to Cara. Confusion filled her eyes. Her forehead crinkled. “Why would he be glad to be gone?”
Philip answered. “Relay stations can be very lonely. I’m sure John is enjoying being at the Young home station. My brothers are probably telling him all kinds of stories.” Philip bit into the most delicious biscuit he’d ever tasted—and his adoptive ma’s were pretty good. Last night’s had been good, but this one seemed to melt in his mouth.
Understanding lit up Bella’s face, then remembrance. “Oh, you said you’d tell me about your family.” She smiled.
He savored the buttery bread for a moment longer before swallowing. “I did, didn’t I?”
She nodded her agreement.
Philip smiled. “Well, I was adopted when I turned twelve. John Young and his wife, Rebecca, not only adopted me, but also six other boys. Plus, they had a little girl of their own. So all together I have six brothers and a sister. Sadly, John passed away, but not before he signed all us boys, except Benjamin, up to be Pony Express riders.”
“How come Benjamin didn’t get to be a rider?” Mark asked around a mouthful of eggs.
