Letting Go!

He grinned, thinking of one particular lawyer who’d used up all of his RAM downloading porn, some of which had actually made Tony uncomfortable. Especially since one of the blondes on the screen had looked enough like Emma to spark all kinds of thoughts he’d be better off not thinking. He’d obviously been devoting too much time developing his new program.

Perhaps that was why Emma had made such an impression on him—too many long hours at the computer with only her voice on the phone to lure him away from the keyboard. He’d looked forward to their conversations, even when they were discussing the most casual topics. Her satiny-smooth voice had curled around him. The husky laugh had stimulated his imagination.

So when he’d picked up and traveled to Florida from Denver, it wasn’t for the beaches. He’d needed to put a face to the voice that haunted his dreams.

This is silly. She’s just a woman. Not a siren. Or medieval princess. It’s my imagination that’s my enemy. Emma’s just a regular girl who will bore me to distraction after a couple of dates. Then I’ll welcome getting back to my latest computer program.

Right now he couldn’t concentrate. He couldn’t work. He didn’t like unsolved puzzles and his reaction to Emma was a puzzle. A puzzle he intended to take apart piece by piece until the enchantment went away.

I’ll never know if I stay here feeling like the ceiling’s coming down on my head.

Impatient with wasting his time and eager to begin his vacation and his quest, Tony climbed off the bunk, wincing only a little at his head’s close proximity to the ceiling.

He went over to his duffel bag and reached inside for his swimsuit. Time to relax in a lounge chair by the pool and have a drink. Out where the sky was the limit and fate could take a leap.

Tony fully intended to enjoy his vacation. Maybe he’d pretend he was a player. He could do it. Warming to the idea, he smiled to himself. He’d play the hell outta the women on the cruise. After all, they expected to be romanced. It would be fun, like living in one of his role-playing games. And it would be smart to spread himself around, rather than spend all his time focused on Emma, a woman who couldn’t possibly live up to what he’d built her up to be. He might even have a go at the slick lady lawyer.

TINA STEPPED over the lip of the doorway leading into the cabin. She noted that the bunks looked comfortable tucked against the wall and there was more floor space than she’d anticipated. The balcony door was covered by a colorful curtain. “I just love having a cabin with a balcony. It feels so luxurious,” she announced.

Emma didn’t look up from unpacking her suitcases. “The balcony’s great. I just hope I won’t be spending the entire cruise out there staring at the water because I’m too chicken to mingle with the men. All week I’ve been a nervous wreck anticipating this cruise.”

“You won’t have any trouble. Why are you unpacking so diligently? I left my luggage with a handsome young man—Italian, I think, although his English was gorgeous.”

Emma finally looked up from where she’d been sorting the clothing. “I can’t find anything—”

“Oh wow! What have you done to your hair?”

Emma reached up to touch the straight hair just brushing the tops of her shoulders. “I got it cut and highlighted. Then the hairdresser sold me some expensive mousse that actually tames the frizz. It’s your fault. You kept telling me that French braids were definitely out.”

Tina took the few steps separating them in the small cabin, tossed her bag on her bunk, then fluffed Emma’s hair with her fingers. “It looks fabulous. Kind of ‘rock star’ and ‘waif’ at the same time. Maybe I should go back to being a blonde.” She patted her own hair into place.

“I love yours. Every time it’s different and yet just right. How do you do that?”

“I pay a hairdresser outrageously to know what to do. All I care about is that it changes once in a while. I don’t like to be bored. In fact I don’t remember exactly what my natural color is,” she teased her friend.

“Why can’t I be more adventurous like you?” Emma mused.

“Because you’re so perfect at being Emma. Why would you want to be me? Your problem is that you don’t see yourself very clearly.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve got all the basic equipment to be gorgeous, interesting and seductive but you don’t always follow through.”

“I’m not sure I know how.”

“Why let idiots like Brad define you? Gorgeous is just making the most of your assets. Oh, that reminds me…” Tina walked over to the bed and rifled through Emma’s suitcase until she came across a one-piece bathing suit, which she ceremoniously dropped in the trash can beside the desk in the compact cabin. “And I do mean assets. You’ll need to buy a thong in the ship’s store.”

“A thong? I couldn’t wear a thong!”

“Why not?” Tina patted Emma on the butt. “Honey, you’ve got the ass. Just get used to showing it off.”

“I brought a skinny little black dress like you told me.” Emma gazed longingly at the trash can.

“That’s good. A little black dress is a must. And I brought some amazing makeup. The new you will be a striking, mysterious creature who doesn’t tell all of the truth but just enough to be interesting.”

“I’m not very good at lying.” Her voice rose. “Why do I have to lie?”

“Why not? You’re never going to see any of these men again. Anyway, I didn’t say to lie. I just said to make the truth more interesting. You can even tell him something so true you’ve never told anyone else. Be daring. You’re playing a game. The men on a singles’ cruise expect you to play games and they really want to play along.”

Emma seemed to be mulling that over; she tapped her chin with her forefinger as she usually did when she was thinking. The girl was brilliant. And pretty. And she didn’t have a catty bone in her body. That was why she and Tina were such good friends. Emma had confidence where it counted, she didn’t see Tina as a threat, as most women did. She just saw her as a friend.

“Hey, are you in there?” Tina prodded as she bent down to retrieve her overnight case.

Sinking down on the empty bunk, Emma said, “It was so amazing standing outside on the dock beside the huge ship, knowing I was the one going aboard. All kinds of possibilities seemed to be beckoning me. When they sounded a horn somewhere on the dock, it actually gave me a shiver.”

“That’s right. It’ll be an adventure, if I can only find my…oh, I found it.” Tina gestured triumphantly with a traffic-stopping red thong that she’d pulled out of her overnight bag. “What do you think? Is it seductive?”

“Is it legal in these waters?

“I hope not.”

“It has occurred to me that I might be boarding the Titanic.”

“What are you talking about?”

Emma ran her hand over one of the flowers on the tropical-print bedspread. “The seduction thing—everything—this might backfire big-time. I might be miserable.”

Somehow Tina had to help Emma get back her confidence. So she took a chance. “Could it get any worse than the thing with Brad?”

Emma grimaced.

Tina shot the thong bottom across the room like a rubber band.

Emma ducked. She almost smiled. “I can’t imagine how,” she admitted.

“Then you’ve survived your version of the Titanic and now you’re moving on. This hypothetical guy we speak of will never see you again. So it’s up to you whether you cut him loose before or after you go back to your cabin. Seductive is just being open to the possibility of sex. It’s a state of mind. And when you’re trolling, men can feel your vibes. Let them drool all over you, dance with you, romance you, but remember, you’re in charge. Don’t choke. Enjoy it.”

“I’ve never thought of it that way.”

Tina smiled. “You think too much. This time just feel your way.” She ran her hands down the curve of her waist.

Emma’s face lit up and Tina wished her friend could see herself when she was animated. Those ocean-blue eyes sparkled and she had a killer smile. “The men on this cruise aren’t gonna know what hit them,” Tina said with satisfaction.

“I’ll bet I could get a thong bathing suit in the ship’s store.” Emma picked up the suit bottom and shot it back at Tina. “I’ll bet I could get just about anything a girl could want on a singles’ cruise to paradise.”

“And we’ll get a tattoo, a henna one to celebrate our adventure.”

“That would be cool.”

“But you have to have the adventure first. Remember you’re going to be eating dessert first. And on a cruise you can order as many desserts as you like—tall, dark and handsome for the first course, athletic, tanned and blonde for the second and a Latin lover to go with your coffee.”

“And everything’s included in the original price so I can pig out without any guilt.”

“Especially since what you have in mind won’t be fattening. You’ll be working it off.” Tina winked.

Emma’s grin stretched across her face.

Tina knew the only thing holding Emma back was her lack of confidence in how men perceived her. Maybe it had to do with her classic look, that girl-next-door phenomenon. Emma had no idea how much the new haircut did to get rid of that pesky image. Get her into a thong and the men would come running. Emma was going to get her chance and Tina was going to enjoy watching the show.

As they unpacked and discussed what Emma needed from the ship’s store, they were called away to participate in the ship-wide emergency drill.

Emma thought that everyone, including the usually sophisticated Tina, looked silly in the bright yellow life jackets, trooping up on deck to stand in line beside their assigned lifeboats. Afterwards, Tina and Emma went to the ship’s store, which was packed with baubles, and people, from all over the world.

Emma barely noticed when the ship left port because she was trying on a pretty pair of thong underwear, which cost a considerable amount considering how little it covered. And then, tugging self-consciously at the emerald-green-and-gold bathing suit that had caught her eye, she finally let Tina peek in the dressing room. “I don’t think I have the figure for this suit.”

“Oh yes you do.” Tina nodded decisively.

A few hundred dollars later Emma had a vacation wardrobe consisting of two thong bikinis, two pretty wraps to go over the revealing thongs and an extra little black dress, even tinier than the one she already had. And three pairs of thong underwear.

“It’s a thong thing.” Emma joked as she pulled out her credit card. “I love the underwear but I can’t believe I’m going to wear the bikini in public.”

“Fewer tan lines. Just think of it as exceedingly practical.” Tina stood in line behind Emma with another thong bikini and a sundress.

Hungry from the shopping spree, they grabbed a quick lunch at a restaurant that boasted a huge salad bar, and then took their food out on the deck.

“Look at that endless horizon. And we sure are speeding along. Amazing that we’ll be in the Bahamas before dinner.”

“It’s not that far from Florida,” Tina responded pragmatically.

“It’s a different world. Out here on the ocean it feels like the sky’s the limit. And anything else is just a restriction we put upon ourselves.” Emma waved her fork at the view from the railing of the ship.

“True. But speaking philosophically—” Tina turned away from the view of the ocean to look at the men spread out on lounge chairs across the deck “—I prefer the old adage, so many men, so little time.”

“Seven days ought to be enough time to work through a few of them,” Emma said with a giggle.

Tina sat back. “Yes, a whole week to enjoy mindless, commitment-free release. No legal briefs, no clingy clients. Let even a hint of something real-life interfere with my vacation and I’ll be running in the other direction.”

Emma laughed.

“Anyway, I don’t believe in true love. It’s a myth to make the drudgery of child rearing bearable. I’m going to eat my salad before it gets limp and then scout out the ship. You can stay here and feel all philosophical if you want to.”

Emma moved reluctantly from the view of the ocean, telling herself she’d get plenty of time to look. “What mindless, meaningless activities are we going to engage in tonight?”

“We’re going ashore, girl.”

They explored the ship, booked their excursions and then stopped in the salon to make appointments for manicures and massages. When adventure beckoned, they were going to be ready for it.

2

THAT EVENING Emma could hardly believe she was actually in a bar on the little island of Grand Bahama, lost in the beauty of the local scenery while the sun dipped behind the ocean in a gorgeous sunset that made her glad to be alive.

She felt tingly-nervous. She’d left Tina holed up in a restaurant a few doors down with a handsome man. Tina had been far too preoccupied to be interested in the sunset, or anything else. Emma had felt uncomfortable with the two of them literally falling all over each other.

But wasn’t that what she’d come for? To do more than enjoy the sunset? To share it with someone? To find romantic attraction—that spur-of-the-moment, knock-you-off-your-feet sensation?

Fingering the unfamiliar length of her hair, she wondered where to start.

She considered some of Tina’s not-so-subtle techniques. If Emma could emulate instead of hesitate then maybe she’d get past all the things that inhibited her.

She’d just pick out a good-looking man and talk to him. But not in the way she’d initiated conversations before. This time she wanted to pique the guy’s interest, the kind of interest that would lead to a night of romantic intimacy.

Only one problem. She tapped her finger against her chin. This meeting couldn’t actually lead to an interlude because the passengers were supposed to be back for the captain’s cocktail hour at eleven o’clock. The ship sailed again at midnight.

Hmm, a problem, or a practice run?

If she could impress someone here on the island then maybe she could seduce the hell out of a handsome passenger on the ship.

She squared her shoulders. Even Tina would be impressed.

Except she wanted an exotic drink in her hand to set the mood, and to keep the staff off her back while she concentrated on other things. Yes. Some tropical concoction and she’d be ready for anything!

Scanning the bar Emma noted a broad-shouldered, nicely tanned man sitting at a table on the sand. Once she’d worked on that drink, a Latin lover would definitely be the perfect chaser. The man’s fit body and wide shoulders were almost too big for the small wicker chair. Dark curling hair waved back in a shaggy, casual style, brushing the collar of the loose, white shirt he wore, and for a minute she fantasized that he looked like a modern-day pirate.

Emma aimed at the empty table well beyond his. Maybe she could just watch him from afar. Consider it the first step.

The second step would be him looking her way, she thought as she headed to the table. She almost stumbled when he did.

And then…

Amazingly, the pirate actually rose to his feet as she approached, grinning in such a friendly fashion it was as if he knew her, and somehow it gave her the courage she needed to pause in front of him.

His gaze was as warm as if he’d physically reached out to her. His smile was incredibly bright on his gorgeous, tanned face. “I saw you enjoying the sunset and I hoped you’d come in closer.”

She practically pried her hands from behind her back to offer one to him. “Hi, I’m Emma. You must be from around here. I’m a passenger on a cruise ship, just here for the evening. It’s so nice to meet a local. That is, if you are a local—”

She might have babbled on or run away, but he grabbed and squeezed her hand. The tingle she felt stopped her in mid-speech. Is this how initiating a seduction felt? This wonderful, scary feeling, like a roller coaster as you hovered on the arc of the first drop?

“Emma, you spoke so quickly I’m afraid I didn’t catch it all.”

“Oh, do I have an accent? You don’t. It’s amazing. I just said that I’m on a cruise and I’m a little…” She started to say nervous but changed her mind. That wasn’t the way to pick up a man. This was the perfect opportunity to pretend she was sophisticated, like Tina.

“…thirsty. I’m so thirsty,” she said in a rush. “Can you tell me what I should order? I usually order…um…orgasms. You know, the drinks…” Emma almost pinched herself. Had she really been that bold?

FOR TONY, holding Emma’s hand was an incredible rush. But hadn’t he intended to get Emma out of his system?

“Well,” Emma prompted. “What do you locals drink?”

It was the second time she’d suggested he was a local.

Mentally he grinned. A player or a local, either definition would do.

And while he had no idea what language they spoke on the island, he was pretty sure Emma didn’t know either. So he’d lean on his Spanish and roll his Rs, to keep her interested. “I’m…Andres and I know exactly what we should order.” He was pleased when his words came out smooth and just slightly accented.

In a throaty purr Emma replied, “Okay, but if you’ve got a better suggestion then I’d love to, uh, entertain it.”

Emma hadn’t seemed quite so flirtatious when they’d spoken on the phone. More pragmatic and perhaps a little whimsical. But then she put a hand on his shoulder and distracted him with a single look. No one had prepared him for the kick of those sea-blue eyes.

“I think we can find something appropriately stimulating for a beautiful…mainlander.”

“Thank you.”

That smile hit him in an interesting place. And when she tried to sit in the minuscule skirt he could have sworn her legs were a million miles long.

The cane material of the chair seemed to grab onto the skirt fabric and he couldn’t help but wonder what she wore under the tiny skirt as she fought for balance.

He lifted his hand, wondering how to help, then grabbed on to the back of the chair to keep it from falling over. Emma finally struggled into place, and he settled back, congratulating himself for resisting any peeking while she’d been fixing her skirt.

“What have you been drinking?” Tony asked solicitously. (He had to think of himself as Andres, his middle name, the name his grandmother called him.)

“Nothing, not since lunch.”

He was skeptical, but obviously she wasn’t driving, so he signaled the waiter and asked for two house specials. The waiter grinned and then went towards the back. The bar was open to the beach, and the salt air, flickering candles and cane furniture gave it an exotic appeal. Andres could feel himself sliding headfirst into the island atmosphere.

“Thank you for ordering the drinks. I’m so excited to be here.” Emma grinned at him. “It’s like a different world.”

He couldn’t help himself; he reached out to stroke her hand. The engaging lady from the phone conversations was mesmerizing in person. “It’s beautiful.”

She blushed. “I do see myself in a whole new light.”

“Where’s home?”

“Florida.”

“And what occupation has you feeling like you needed to visit a new world? Or is it more personal?”

“I’m an administrative assistant for a lawyer, a glorified secretary,” she said almost defensively. “But it’s not the work or anything else really.” She fluttered her hands. “It’s my own angst.”

He was impressed. “No excuses? No attempt to blame your boss, co-workers, parents, boyfriend or perhaps…husband?”

She touched her ring finger. “No husband, no boyfriend and no one to blame but myself. I just needed a boost.”

It had to be that idiot from the office who made her want to get away from it all. “And you’ve already met one new person,” he said with a smile.

“And a very interesting one at that.” She licked those incredible lips.

The server slipped the drinks onto the table with an appreciative look toward Emma that she didn’t seem to notice.

Andres wondered why she didn’t see. Most women collected those kinds of looks like prizes and would have at least preened a bit. But Emma just sat there with those wide eyes focused on him. He wanted to groan when she gave him a provocative smile and recrossed her legs. One prettily manicured hand slipped casually over to touch his.

Andres took a gulp of the creamy drink to cool off.

He would be privileged to be the only one she had eyes for.

Emma took a long sip from her glass.

Andres avidly watched her mouth. Those full sensuous lips looked so luscious. Then he dropped his gaze to her cocktail wondering if he should tell her there were several shots of hard liquor in that drink, disguised by chocolate and cream. But he only told her what he was thinking, “And you have definitely caught my interest.”

She shrugged. “My friend Tina always manages to make life interesting no matter what. And I plan to emulate her.”

She swung her foot, gently—nervously?—yet her smile told him that she noticed how his gaze clung to those endless legs. Apparently, she was enjoying his attention.

In person, Emma was intoxicating, like the drink, so sweet you didn’t notice it sneaking up and seducing you.

“This will be my voyage of discovery,” she said.

Fortunately, another round of drinks arrived to cool him off and he took a large swallow. “What are you hoping to discover?” he asked flippantly, expecting a flirtatious answer.

But she looked pensive for a moment, chewed on her lower lip and then answered very sincerely. “How to be myself and a little more. I just want to crank up the volume. Do you ever feel as if there’s something missing from your life and that you might find that something if you were just willing to seize an opportunity?”

Hell yes. Sometimes, at the end of a ten- or twelve-hour session in front of a screen, where he’d only interacted with other human beings via e-mail, he would sit and wonder whether this was the kind of solitary life he wanted. “Yeah, I do.”

She sighed. “I’m not sure what I’m missing. But whatever it is, being here with you makes me feel good.”

He watched as Emma pulled the large frosty glass toward her and took a healthy swig of the concoction. She took out the umbrella and sucked on the pineapple slice. He ignored his drink, looking at her so intently he wondered if she could feel him wanting to explore her lips first with his avid gaze and then his mouth.

He knew he should be honest and tell her that he wasn’t a local.

Would it kill the romantic mood? Or would it be better to play along and see what she had in mind?

She looked up, heat in her gaze.

He definitely wanted to let this ride.

Emma felt as if this handsome local was gazing into her very soul. It was as if they’d already been intimate and he hadn’t even touched her or kissed her. And it didn’t make any sense. She tried to talk, stumbled, but finally managed, “Um, does this have cocoa in it? I have to admit I’m addicted to chocolate.”

“Yes, it’s a sort of an island milkshake,” he told her.

“It’s good. Delectable in fact.”

He stroked her hand, his touch gentle yet his skin a little rough, and his warmth sent a shiver through her.

“So how are you going to start this project? Pumping up the volume?” His voice curled around her, seeming to pull her in closer.

She took another deep drink and leaned towards him, then sighed. It felt good to be this close to an incredible guy who obviously found her intriguing.

“You do have a plan,” he prompted.

She sat up. She’d been leaning so far over she was practically on top of the table. “Of course I have a plan.” A long sip of the milkshake soothed the niggle of embarrassment. He even understands about the plan. A girl’s got to have a plan if she’s going to get anywhere.

“What’s the first thing on your list?” It seemed as though he was teasing her now.

“I’m going to explore some aspects of myself that have been…inhibited.” She told herself that she was only drunk on his attention.