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She turned away so he couldn’t see her face, but he didn’t need to in order to understand that she fought a war between her stubborn pride and her necessity.
Her shoulders sagged and she bowed her head. Slowly she came about to face him. “This morning I prayed that God would provide a way for me to get the crop in. Seems this must be an answer to my prayer.”
He was an answer to someone’s prayer? He kind of liked that. Maybe he should pray that God would make Himself plain to him. He’d sure like the answer to that prayer, as well.
“So I agree to your plan.” Her eyes flashed a warning. “With a few conditions.”
He stiffened, guarding his heart against the words he expected. Stay away from the children. Don’t think you can make yourself at home. Don’t forget you’re a half-breed. She might not use those exact words but the message would be the same.
“The children must be treated kindly at all times. And I don’t want them getting hurt because of the horses.”
His mouth fell slack. He was lost for words. Nothing about his heritage? Nothing at all?
“Ma’am, there is no need for such conditions. I would never be unkind to a child. Or an adult. Or an animal. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. And I would never put anyone in danger. For any reason.”
She studied him for several heartbeats. She seemed to be searching beyond the obvious, but for what?
He met her look.
His mouth grew dry. He blinked and shifted away. He saw depths of need and a breadth of longings that left him both hungry to learn more and wishing he saw less.
“Then we have a deal.” She held her hand out.
He took it before she remembered he was a half-breed, and marveled at her firm grip despite the smallness of her hand.
Inside his heart, buried deep, pressed down hard beneath a world of caution, there bubbled to the surface a desire to protect.
The one thing he meant to protect was his heart. No one, especially a fragile blonde woman, would be allowed near it.
“We have a deal,” he said.
Their agreement would certainly solve two problems. But he wondered if it would create a whole lot more to take their place.
Chapter Two (#ulink_97fdfba1-4efd-5abb-8833-d140981d180d)
A little later, Tanner rode into the yard at Sundown Ranch. His brothers trotted over to the barn as he led Scout in. Though they were close in age—Johnny was twenty, a year younger than Tanner, and Levi two years younger—his brothers were as different from Tanner as was possible. Johnny lived to please his father and to prove he was part of the white world. Levi didn’t much care what anyone except Maisie thought.
“You get them?” Johnny asked.
“I sure did. Ten in all. And all three of Ma’s horses. I have them in that little box canyon over the hill.”
Big Sam ambled into the barn. “Howdy, boys.”
“Hi, Pa,” they replied.
“You capture them horses?” he asked Tanner.
“Ten. Now all I got to do is break them.”
“Sure wish I could help you out, but you know my feelings.”
Tanner did. They all did. He could hardly wait to see their surprise when he announced his good news.
The supper bell rang and the four of them crossed to the house. It was a one-story structure, nothing fancy, but, as Big Sam often said with a great deal of pride, it was solid.
Maisie waited at the door to greet them. As part of her many rituals, she got a kiss on the cheek from each man as he passed. Not that Tanner was complaining. She was a good, loving mama to Big Sam’s boys and had never let their mixed heritage influence her affections for them.
They washed up, sat at the table and automatically reached for one another’s hands as Big Sam asked the blessing. Holding hands was another of Maisie’s rituals. He’d found the gesture comforting when he was eight and still found it comforting at twenty-one. There was one place he knew he belonged. Right here in this house.
They passed the food and then began another of Maisie’s rituals.
“Sam, did you get the cows moved up to summer pasture?” Over the evening meal, Maisie asked each of them about their day, starting with Pa and then proceeding in descending age.
“Sure did. Grass is looking good already. The cows will get lots to eat. Soon there will be calves on the ground.”
Tanner listened as Big Sam described every aspect of the herd. He’d grown up hearing this sort of thing and knew the importance of each detail.
When Pa was done, it was Tanner’s turn.
Maisie turned to him. “How did your day go? Did you get those horses you wanted?”
“Sure did.” Again, he told of his day, describing the horses in more detail for her than he had for his brothers or Pa.
“And I had a visitor.”
“Up there?” She sounded as surprised as his brothers looked.
“A young boy.” He enjoyed parceling out the information in a way that increased their curiosity.
Maisie sat back, dumbfounded. “What would a child be doing up there? How old was he?”
“Five.”
“That’s hardly more than a baby. Levi’s age when your mama died.” She gave Levi a look of love. It was no secret the two of them shared a special bond. She brought her attention back to Tanner. “Was he lost? Abandoned?”
“Nope. Just wandering a little far from home. It was Robbie Collins. You know, from Jim Collins’s farm.”
Maisie made a sound half distress, half regret. “Why, it’s—” She counted on her fingers. “It’s four months since he died. I’ve been meaning to get over there. I hear his sister is caring for the children. That poor girl. They say she hasn’t anyone to help. How are they faring?”
“I’d say she was struggling.”
“Sam, someone ought to help them.” Maisie shook her head, her look part pity, part scolding.
Tanner felt rather pleased that he’d be able to reassure her that someone was. “I have a set of corrals to work the horses.”
Maisie, Big Sam and his two brothers looked at him.
Big Sam found his voice first. “You built some already? How’d you manage that?”
“Didn’t build some. Found some ready and waiting.” He grinned at the curiosity his words triggered.
“Where?”
“How?”
“Are you joshing us?”
“At the Collins place. Pa, did you know Jim Collins had dreams of capturing some of the horses?”
Pa looked thoughtful. “Come to think of it, I might have heard him mention it a time or two. Took it as just that. Talk.”
“Nope. It wasn’t. He has a set of corrals over there that are just about perfect.”
Levi eyed his brother suspiciously. “How’s that going to work? You bought them? Rented them?”
“Traded for them.” He explained his work agreement with Susanne Collins. That brought a look of complete astonishment from those around the table.
“You’re going to farm?” Johnny shook his head. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
Tanner knew what Johnny meant. He’d often scoffed at stooping to join the white man in breaking the land and sowing crops. “It’ll be worth it to have the use of the corrals.”
As if sensing Tanner’s brothers might have a whole lot more to say about the subject, perhaps things Tanner didn’t care to hear, Maisie turned the conversation to Johnny, asking about his day.
Tanner listened with half his attention, his thoughts on his recent agreement. What had he done by agreeing to farm? He’d never been interested in hitching a horse to a plow, though he’d had to do it a few times as Pa insisted they grow oats for feed and wheat for flour. How many times had Tanner said his Lakota mother would have hated her sons in such a role? They should be on horseback hunting buffalo. But he hadn’t been thinking about that earlier today. In fact, all he’d been thinking when he suggested the agreement was what a shame that those corrals weren’t being used and that someone ought to help Susanne no matter how much she insisted she didn’t need it. There would be plenty of people saying he wasn’t the right sort of man to do it, but no other man had appeared on the scene in months. He’d be fair to her, though, and stay as far away from Susanne and the children as was humanly possible, considering the corrals were a few hundred feet from the house. Like it or not, they needed each other.
* * *
Susanne wanted nothing so much as to chase Tanner Harding down and tell him in no uncertain terms she couldn’t accept his plan. But the place was falling into rack and ruin. Jim had neglected it the past year or two as he dealt with Alice’s illness and then tried to cope with her death. Susanne would be the first to admit she needed help and she would hire a man in a snap if she had the funds to pay one.
She didn’t, so that left her no option but to accept help to get the crop into the ground. The rest of the work she’d manage on her own with the children’s help. Starting this morning. She called to them. “Let’s go fix the fence.” They wasted too much time every day chasing the cow and bringing her home.
The girls came readily enough, but Frank and Robbie stared toward the hill, no doubt curious about Tanner’s horses. She hadn’t seen them or his pen, but Robbie had provided a detailed description. She knew the place where he held the horses. Before Jim’s death, she’d loved wandering across the hills, finding wildflowers, watching hawks soar overhead and enjoying nature. She’d always felt close to God out there. She missed those times alone.
“Come on, boys.”
The pair had an animated discussion before they trotted toward her. She was certain the topic of their conversation was the wild horses. Robbie had talked of nothing else since Tanner had brought him back yesterday.
When they joined her, she caught Robbie’s chin and turned his face to her. “Robbie, I don’t want you going to see those horses. They’re dangerous. Besides, you shouldn’t be wandering about on your own. Something might happen.” Tanner had given no indication as to when he’d bring the horses to the corrals; nor when he’d turn his hand to planting the crop. She certainly had no intention of suggesting he should do it sooner rather than later, if she even saw him again. What was to stop him from riding in and out without acknowledging either her or their agreement?
She was getting suspicious. There was no point in blaming Aunt Ada for making her that way, even though the woman had assured Jim she’d give Susanne a good and loving home and she’d done quite the opposite. The experience had made Susanne cautious and more than a little suspicious of seemingly kind offers.
But that was in the past and she did not intend it to color her whole life.
“Yes, Auntie Susanne,” Robbie said.
With a kiss to his forehead, she released him. Each day he promised not to wander, but she knew he’d forget it if the urge hit him. So every day she reminded him again. Despite her frustration, she smiled at him and his siblings.
Each of the children handled the loss of their parents in different ways. Robbie wandered. Frank tried too hard to be a man. Liz looked for ways to make things go smoothly. Janie got lost in her dreams. Susanne often found her up a tree or tucked into a corner almost hidden from view talking to her doll.
And what did Susanne do? she asked herself.
She tried to take care of the work.
As she twisted wire together and tacked it to the wobbly post, she tried not to think too hard of all she’d lost. First her parents, then Alice and Jim. It was enough to make her certain she would never let herself care for another soul apart from these children, for fear of more loss. It was a strange world. Those who loved her died, while those who would use her to their own advantage lived to do so.
Never again, she vowed. She’d see to that.
She sought a more pleasant topic for her thoughts and settled on the diamond brooch Jim had given to her. It used to be their mother’s and before that, her mother’s. She and Jim had laughed together knowing the little stone in the setting was likely only glass. It didn’t matter. It represented their mother.
“You can hand it down to your eldest daughter,” he’d said.
She’d laughed. “What makes you think I’ll get married?”
He’d squeezed her shoulder. “You’re beautiful. You’ll have dozens of suitors calling.”
At the time, she’d been moved by his praise. Not since her parents died had she felt so blessed. But now it didn’t matter if she was beautiful or not. She’d not have suitors calling once they heard she had four children to raise as her own. She certainly didn’t count Alfred Morris. He was more of a dictator than a suitor. A man who wanted to own her. She knew he would constantly remind her how much she owed him for giving her a fine home.
She’d had enough of that.
And it wasn’t as if she’d have time for courting.
She’d thought a time or two of selling the brooch. But it was the only physical reminder she had of her mother and wasn’t worth a lot in the way of money. The diamond—if it was such—was so small she could barely see it. Instead, she’d trusted God to lead her to another way to manage.
She’d certainly not considered trading the corrals for seeding the crop and would still refuse if the good Lord would provide another way. Please, God, perhaps there’s an old married man who would work for a crop share. Straightening, she squinted toward the trail that led to town in the hopes of seeing a wagon headed her way. The breeze lifted a swirl of dust but nothing more. Seems that prayer was not to be answered at the moment. Anytime soon would do, Lord. She turned back to the fence.
A few minutes later, she twisted the last wire and straightened. “That should hold.”
“Can we go play now?” Robbie asked.
“Yes, you may.” She remained at the fence as they scampered off in various directions. “Don’t wander away,” she thought to call.
Alone for a few minutes and everything momentarily peaceful, she looked about and breathed deeply. She needed this time to think and pray. Father God, please help me keep the children. That means a way to do the farm work as well as time to tend to the children’s needs. Of course, God didn’t need the constant reminding, but she knew no other way to set her worries aside.
She could not linger, and hurried toward the house and the many tasks at hand.
The milk cow trotted away as she neared the yard and headed straight for the hole Susanne had just fixed. Seeing her way blocked, the cow mooed and shook her head.
“Too bad, old girl, you’ll have to stay in your pasture from now on.” Susanne entered the house and found Liz and Janie sitting at the table.
“Can we eat now?” Liz asked. “We’re hungry.”
Susanna didn’t need to look at the clock over the doorway to the living room to know the morning was almost gone and she’d accomplished so little. Being every bit as hungry as the children, she pulled out a frying pan, wiped it clean and set it on the stove to heat while she cut the leftover potatoes. Once they were browned, she broke in eggs. What did it matter if it was only eleven o’clock?
“Call your brothers and we’ll have dinner.”
When the boys clattered through the door, she told them to wash up.
She smiled at the way they bumped into each other. Two boys full of energy and playfulness. Guilt stung her throat. When Jim was alive, he’d romped with them, and she’d played quiet games with them. But it had been weeks since she’d had time to play with any of them.
