The Cowboy Father

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But she could not deny she hadn’t expected a job to dig deep into her heart and open up longings she knew she must deny. Somewhere in the past two days, despite Ellie’s cantankerous ways, Louisa had crossed a line. She’d begun to care about the Hamiltons. She wanted to help Ellie because she cared. She wanted to help Ellie because it mattered to her that Emmet, although he loved his daughter deeply, was allowing her to rule his life.

Adele broke into her thoughts, still addressing Emmet. “Do these goals contradict yours in any way?”

“I suppose not.” His gaze held Louisa’s, searching for what, she did not know. But she let him probe deep past the surface of their words and association until she felt as if his thoughts had reached deep into hers, found an anchor pin and secured a hook to it.

“Perhaps there is another way to address the problem. A compromise?”

Louisa forced her gaze toward Adele. Would it include her keeping the job? She darted a glance at Emmet. Did he look even vaguely interested?

He caught her looking and shrugged. “What do we have to lose?”

She turned back to Adele. “What do you suggest?”

“I think you two should become partners in this venture.”

“Partners?” Louisa and Emmet echoed the word in unison. How could they possibly work together? Even being here and discussing Ellie’s need had opened a window in Louisa’s heart, revealed a hunger she must deny. She looked it squarely in the face. Yes, she longed to earn the love of a man such as Emmet—strong, committed, loving—but her barrenness made it impossible. Even if he knew…even if he said it didn’t matter. It would be unfair to burden a man with the same limitations she must accept.

Her best plan would be to avoid him as much as possible. Whatever Adele meant by partnership, Louisa hoped it meant a simple shake of hands in shared concern.

Adele took their silence for agreement. “I think Ellie is feeling you two are in opposition. Either it threatens her, or she’s taking advantage of it. Perhaps even both. I think by presenting a unified front, she will realize she has no alternative but to do the assigned work. She’ll soon learn that lesson time can be fun and help her pass the long days. I have laid out the lesson plans and will continue to do so. I suggest the two of you work out how to deliver them. You’re welcome to use any of the material I have.” She waved a hand to indicate the books and objects in the shelves around the room.

Work together. Plan together. Louisa choked back a protest. How was she to stay professional when every time she turned around, she encountered feelings that were decidedly not professional? And now to consider spending more time in his presence…how was she ever going to keep her feelings locked away?

Chapter Five

Emmet pried himself from the too-small desk and followed Louisa out of the classroom. With a murmured goodbye and thank-you to Miss Ross, he closed the door and sucked air into lungs too stunned this past half hour to function properly.

Partners? Work together? A unified front? Shoot. He didn’t want to be united with Louisa on anything. Just sitting next to her in the classroom, feeling her fragile resistance—he was wrong on that score too. She was about as fragile as the first spring crocus that fought its way up through the snow and waved its head cheerfully through the winds and storms of the season. What had possessed him to agree?

One thing only. And it was all that mattered. It was best for Ellie.

Louisa too, appeared to need time to pull herself together after Miss Ross’s surprise suggestion.

He’d been awed by Louisa’s passion that Ellie keep up with her classmates. And more than a little moved by it. If he were honest, he’d felt just a tiny bit guilty that he was concerned solely with her happiness. For a fleeting moment, it seemed almost irresponsible.

But he had his head back where it belonged after the brief period of confusion. Squarely on his shoulders. He would not let anything Louisa said or did confound him again. “Looks like we’re stuck working together.” He excused the roughness of his words and his voice on the need to keep boundaries firmly in place. He wanted only one thing from Louisa—help teaching Ellie, because he now realized how important it was for her to keep up with her studies. “So let’s figure out a way to make this work.” He headed for the outside door, Louisa at his side.

“How do you suggest we do that?”

“I suppose we need to plan our approach, as Miss Ross suggested.” But when and where? “I don’t like leaving Auntie May to watch Ellie too long.” Ellie clearly didn’t appreciate it either, but he refrained from saying so, still feeling as if he was somehow lax in wanting to keep her happy. “It’s too big a chore. Besides, Auntie May has enough to do.”

“What with feeding her cats and all.” Her dry tone informed him that Louisa teased, and he chuckled. His tension dissipated in his amusement.

“I fear she will fall over one of them and injure herself.” He’d meant to be teasing too, but realized it was a deep-seated worry. He didn’t care to lose any more of his family due to an accident.

“I don’t think you need to fear for her safety. She seems to know how to avoid them when she’s walking. You know, I’ve always admired how sure-footed she was.”

“Comes from dancing around cats. Keeps her nimble.” He did a little side jump to illustrate, bringing a merry laugh to Louisa’s lips. He tucked a smile into the corner of his mind, pleased to have amused her.

Shoot. How did he get so far off track? If this was a sample of how it would be to work with her, it did not bode well for keeping it businesslike. And yet, somehow, he couldn’t honestly object. But back to the task at hand. “If we wait until after Ellie goes to sleep…” Then what? Auntie May liked to curl up with her cats and a book in the evening. He didn’t want to take advantage of his aunt by asking that she be alert to Ellie’s call.

“I could come back into town later. I’m sure it won’t take long to deal with this.”

In fact, they might be able to stand on the step and sort it out in a matter of minutes before she left. Yet somehow he didn’t suggest it. “If you don’t mind. That way I could be available without expecting Auntie May to cover for me.”

“I don’t mind. Like I say, I’m sure it will only be a short while. Then I can visit a friend.”

“Good.” They stood before her battered car. “I’ll see you later then.” He planted his hat on his head, nodded goodbye and strolled away. Not until he heard her car start and breathed in the gas fumes and dust of her departure did he wonder if spending more time with Louisa was a wise idea. But it was too late to change his mind, and because it was for Ellie he had no intention of doing so.

Emmet explained to Auntie May that Louisa would be coming because they were going to work on Ellie’s lessons together.

“Excellent idea, my boy. You’ll soon discover what a fine woman she is. You know, you could do worse than think about asking her—”

He cut her off right there, knowing she was about to suggest he ask Louisa out. “I have no interest in such things. Not now. Not ever.”

She looked at him, her face awash with concern. “Emmet, you are a young man. You can’t carry your hurt like a shield all your life.”

He intended to do exactly that, though it was caution he carried, not hurt. He was long past hurt. “My life is busy enough with the ranch and a child to raise.”

“Troubles shared are troubles halved.”

“We’ll use the front room so as not to disturb Ellie, if that’s okay with you.”

She studied him, letting him know she understood he ignored her suggestion of sharing troubles. “I prefer the rocking chair in the kitchen, as you are well aware. Does Ellie know about your new plan?”

Ellie slept in the next room, exhausted by another crying spell. She missed her pony. Her friends. Even Betsy. “I haven’t said anything.” Seems the least little thing set her into a bout of tears. Hopefully she wasn’t going to end up like her mother. Jane had resorted to tears to get her own way so often that Emmet had learned to ignore them. Or had tried to, but they never failed to make him feel guilty.

“It’s something Louisa and I will plan together.”

A gentle knock sounded at the door.

“I expect that is her now.”

“’Spect so. You better let her in. And don’t worry about me. The cats and I will be quite happy in the kitchen.” She sat in a rocking chair so well used that the rockers had a ridge where she changed direction. “Run along now.” She shooed him away.

He crossed the room and opened the door. The sun had settled toward the horizon and slanted rays into his eyes, so he didn’t see her face clearly. For some unfathomable reason, that bothered him. He wanted to see her expression, know what she really thought about this arrangement. Perhaps if he did, he could understand how he felt. Because this did not feel like business. It felt like a social call. He had struggled the past hour to try to drive that thought away, but it refused to leave.

“Come in. Have a seat.” He waved toward a little table he’d cleared off and against which he had shoved two chairs, assuming she would want to show him material.

“Thanks.” She sat and waited for him to sit opposite her, then she opened a notebook. “These are the lesson plans Adele helped me prepare.” She pointed to the outlined notes. “As you can see, we aren’t aiming to do more than basics. Her assignments have also been adjusted so she can do them without too much effort. We realize it’s difficult for her to do much while flat on her back.”

He glanced over the material. “These seem fairly straightforward.”

“You’re still thinking I’m the problem here.” She sucked in air. “You might be right. I get the feeling she resents my presence. Perhaps by having you in the room and presenting part of the lesson, she can see I only want to help her.”

“I agreed to do so. I’m just uncertain of my role. What do you want me to do?”

“I guess it depends on what you want.”

“What I want has nothing to do with lessons. I want her to not be injured in the first place. I want—” I want her mother to still be alive. I want my parents to be alive.

“I’m sorry. It can’t be easy raising a child on your own.”

“It has its challenges for sure, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. My only regret is not having more children.” He leaned forward. “I envy you your sisters. I longed for brothers or sisters when I was growing up. And when I married, I vowed I would not have an only child. But life did not follow my plan.”