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So the cold in Louisa’s bones wasn’t just nerves.
She half rose then subsided, waiting to see what Mr. Hamilton intended to do.
He nodded. “Come along then.” His eyes said far more though. They said he found his aunt both amusing and endearing.
Louisa relaxed marginally and followed Auntie May into a warm room as crowded with furniture and odds and ends as the front room. The whole place had the appearance of many projects on the go or abandoned at some point.
Auntie May studied Louisa. “Hello, my dear.”
“Hello, Miss Hamilton.”
She snorted. “Since when does anyone call me Miss Hamilton unless they are about to present a bill? I’m Auntie May. Always have been. Always will be. Now park yourself and talk to my nephew while I pour us tea.”
Louisa “parked” on one of the mismatched chairs crowding around the table, as if Auntie May normally fed a large family instead of being on her own most of the time. Louisa had heard how she’d taken in her brother’s son after his parents’ untimely death and finished raising him. But he had left before Louisa and her family moved into the community. He’d returned a week ago with his injured daughter. Some suggested he came back so Auntie May could care for the child, but Louisa said where else would one go but back home if they needed help?
Auntie May nudged her way through a swarm of cats to set cups of tea in front of Louisa and Emmet. “I know Emmet will have hundreds of questions to ask you before he accepts you as tutor to little Ellie, but Emmet, let me say this. I’ve watched Louisa these past few years. I’ve seen her overcome challenges and emerge stronger and sweeter and kinder for them. I’m here to say you couldn’t do much better than her.”
Louisa’s face burned with embarrassment at the praise. But at least Auntie May hadn’t gone into detail about the challenges Louisa faced. Thankfully, only her family and Doc knew of her greatest challenge. One she must face with dignity and faith every day of her life.
“Thanks, Auntie May. I’ll certainly take your opinion into consideration.”
“Of course you will. Now come on, all of you.” She spoke to the cats running after her as she stepped into the porch. “I’ve got some food ready.” The meowing made conversation impossible until the door closed behind them.
Emmet laughed. “My aunt and her cats.”
Louisa, twenty years from now—the local cat lady. “She’d be lonely without her pets.” Auntie May was slightly eccentric but a good soul. There wasn’t a person she wouldn’t help, and the entire community knew it. The thought cheered Louisa marginally.
“Shall we get down to business?”
Louisa nodded, her tension returning tenfold.
“There are things I need to know about you.”
“I understand.” She’d tried to guess what questions he’d ask and how she’d answer them.
“First, what sort of training and education do you have that qualifies you to teach my daughter?”
She’d rightly guessed that would be uppermost in his mind. “I’m sure Miss Ross explained my education.”
“I’d like to hear it from your lips.”
“I do not have university education. Nor have I attended Normal school.” If finances and health allowed it, she would love to go to Normal school and train to be a teacher.
“I see. And yet Miss Ross feels you are well educated. Tell me, formal training aside, what qualifies you for this job?” His voice was low, his look insistent.
Apart from the fact that it’s the only one I’ve been offered and I need the money? “I did well in school and have continued my education since. Mostly I am self-taught, but last year my mother hired a tutor with a teaching degree and he helped me. I have a strong background in English, Greek, the arts and history.”
“I see.”
She wondered if he did. She must prove she could do this job. “I am also uniquely experienced for a situation such as your daughter’s. I spent three winters unable to attend school. I kept up my studies while at home. I learned how to work on my own and how to amuse myself while confined to bed.”
He studied her, then sighed. “Unfortunately, Ellie is used to being outdoors, riding her pony, climbing trees, running across the fields. School has always been a necessary evil in her opinion. I don’t think she is going to find contentment in quiet activities.”
“Does she have a choice?”
“Not at the moment. What else can you tell me about yourself? How old are you?”
“I’m twenty. Almost twenty-one.”
“I would have taken you for much younger.”
She squared her shoulders and tried to look wise. Realizing how silly her reaction, she had to steel herself not to chuckle.
“I assume you are only passing time until you marry.”
“You, sir, assume incorrectly.” He could not possibly know how his words hurt. For that she was thankful. “Marriage is not part of my plans.” No man would want her, nor would she marry if one did momentarily profess love. It wouldn’t be fair to deprive a man of children. Besides, wouldn’t he grow to resent her? Better to remain single than take such a risk.
He gave her narrow-eyed concentration.
She refused to blink before his study, instead choosing to try to decide what color his eyes were. Green? Blue? Just when she’d decided on one, they shifted to the other. Ah. She’d learned something that might be useful in the future, should she get the job. His eyes changed color with his emotions. He had gone from green-eyed doubt to blue-eyed relief. For some inexplicable reason, it pleased her to have learned this tiny bit of information.
“Are you saying you have no beau?”
“I am indeed.” She fully intended to protect herself from further pain by avoiding anything but friendship with any man.
“Daddy. Where are you?” A young, demanding voice called from a room past the kitchen.
The smile on the man’s face made Louisa blink. The man looked as if the sun had come out and the sky turned blue at the sound of a little girl’s voice. He was obviously very fond of his daughter. “I’ll be right there.”
Her eyes stung. Her father had loved his daughters in such a fashion. It had been almost four years since his passing, but she missed him as though it was yesterday.
“Would you like to meet Ellie?”
“Yes, please.” Did this mean she had the job? Or would if she could relate to his daughter? Please, God. Give me wisdom.
“Come along.”
She followed him into the adjoining room. A china cupboard and sideboard, groaning under a collection of mismatched dishes, took up most of one wall, but in the middle of the room stood a bed, raised to elbow level on blocks. A blonde child lay on the bed, her chocolate-brown eyes watching Louisa with unblinking interest.
“Who are you?”
“I’m Louisa Morgan.” She glanced toward Emmet, but he stood back, observing her. Apparently he meant to see how she would handle the situation on her own. “And you are Ellie Hamilton.”
“So?”
“Ellie?” Her father’s voice carried gentle warning. “Be polite.”
The little girl gave Louisa an unrepentant stare, then smiled at her father. “Okay, Daddy.”
“Good girl.” He stepped forward. “Her cast goes from here—” he pushed the blanket to show a cast up to her chest “—and down to here.” This time he lifted the bottom of the covers. Only her toes peeked out. “So you can see she can’t move around much.”
“I’m sorry, Ellie. It can’t be much fun.” Louisa reviewed what she knew of the child. Seven years old. Motherless. Had fallen out of a tree and broken her leg.
“It’s not any fun. I hate it.” Crossing her arms over her chest, she put on a full-blown pout.
“It’s necessary so your leg will heal.” Emmet’s voice was tight. It must hurt to see his child like this. “Even as it’s necessary for you to continue with your schoolwork. Which is why Miss Morgan is here.”
“No. I don’t want to. Don’t make me.” The child screamed and cried at the same time. “Please, Daddy, don’t make me.”
Emmet stepped to Ellie’s side, cradled her face between his palms. “Hush, sweetie. Don’t upset yourself like this.” He crooned wordless comfort.
Ellie wrapped her arms about Emmet’s neck and pulled his face down to rest on her cheek.
Louisa turned away, her throat clogged with emotion at seeing his gentle pain over his daughter. Feeling his helplessness. Understanding how Ellie felt. How often had Louisa had to watch life move on while she observed from the sidelines? Lord, all I want is a job, but perhaps You have something more for me here. She would follow God’s leading, but she would keep her heart under lock and key.
Emmet extricated himself from Ellie’s grasp. “You’ll be okay. I need to talk to Miss Morgan for a minute, then I’ll be back.”
“Then will you play with me?” A quiver in her voice tore at Louisa’s resolve. The poor child. If she got the job of teaching her, she would do everything she could to make the days pass quickly with fun activities.
“Miss Morgan?” Emmet indicated she should follow him. He led her through to the front room. “I don’t want Ellie to hear us.”
She sat while he went from one side of the room to the other, his strides long and hurried.
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how you feel.”
“No, you can’t.” He ground to a halt and jerked his thumb toward the room where his daughter lay. “It’s my fault—”
“How can you blame yourself for an accident?” She ached to explain that sometimes things just happened despite our best efforts. For no good reason. A person simply had to accept it and move on. The only other choice was to be angry and bitter. Not a pleasant alternative, to her way of thinking.
“I should— Never mind. It has nothing to do with the job.” He sat down and faced her. “I need to get Ellie into a routine of sorts as quickly as possible.” He sighed deeply, as if he regretted the decision he must make. “Miss Ross spoke highly of you. Let’s see how you do with Ellie. If you’re still interested in the job…”
At first all she cared about was getting paying work, but seeing the child, witnessing their affection, sensing the frustration in both of them…well, now she wanted the job. “When do you wish me to start?”
He laughed, his face suddenly years younger. “Is tomorrow too soon?”
“I’ll have to get lesson plans and advice from Miss Ross but tomorrow is fine.”
“I hope you can make her happy.”
“I’ll do my best.” Though she knew a person, whatever age, was only as happy as they chose to be. But she could imagine getting Ellie to laugh, seeing Emmet smile at his daughter’s cheerfulness.
It wasn’t until she stood on the street, smiling with anticipation, that she realized she was imagining all the things she could never have—teaching a child in the safety of home, sharing the pleasure with a man.
She’d strayed wildly from her intention of guarding her emotions. This was only a job, she scolded herself. A child who needed to learn. Nothing more.
Now all she had to do was face Mother and inform her of her decision. She already knew how she’d react. Warnings she would make herself sick. Advice that she must take care of herself. But Louisa was tired of being coddled, of being careful. It certainly hadn’t prevented her from getting sick in the past. From now on, she intended to enjoy every bit of what she could squeeze from life. Certainly she knew her limitations. But no amount of hard work would make her barrenness more…or less…than it already was.
An ache the size of Alberta lay tightly tied and buried in a secret corner of her heart—where she would make sure it stayed.
Chapter Two
Emmet closed the door softly behind Miss Morgan’s departure and stared at the wooden slab. She was much too young and pretty to be…what? Young and single? Not planning marriage? Most certainly a temporary condition. No doubt she waited only for the right man to show up. Not that it mattered one way or the other to him. He no longer sought after dreams such as marriage, home, success.... All that mattered now was taking care of Ellie. And he had failed badly in that area. Something he intended would not happen again. Nothing must divert him from caring for her.
“I hope you’re going to let Louisa help Ellie.”
His aunt’s voice thankfully jerked him back from the dark trail his thoughts headed down. He turned to meet her intent look.
“She’s a good person.”
“She starts tomorrow.”
“Good for you. I was afraid you’d see her pretty face and immediately count her out.”
“Now, why would you think that?” He purposely kept his voice soft. Sometimes Auntie May responded better to a gentle warning.
But not always.
“I know you, boy. You’ve been hurt too many times. And now you’ve locked your feelings in a deep vault someplace.”
How wrong she was. Not that he hadn’t tried exactly that. But he’d failed miserably. He’d never felt anything as deeply, as frighteningly real as when he’d found Ellie hurt. “My feelings are not buried. I care about Ellie. So much it hurts.”
A cat jumped to a table next to Auntie May and leaned over in an attempt to get her attention. Several things clattered to the floor.
Auntie May scooped up the cat and retrieved the fallen objects. “I don’t mean Ellie. Of course you love her. She’s your flesh and blood. But don’t you think she needs a mother? Just as you need a wife—a partner?”
“I’ve already tried that, remember? And it ended with Jane dying.” Like everyone he cared for. His parents. Even his pet dog. “Ellie is enough for me.”
“She can’t be, you know. A man needs a wife.”
He snorted. “This from a woman who never married.” He considered her. “Are you saying you regret that?”
She chortled. “I have you and Ellie. And my pets.” She scrubbed the heads of four cats sitting at her feet. Then she gave him a look full of both challenge and regret. “I loved once.”
“You did? What happened?”
She shrugged and buried her face in the fur of the gray cat in her arms. Seemed the animal was the favored of the bunch, or perhaps the most demanding, as it always ended up being held. “Didn’t work out.”
“Why?” In the dozen or so years he’d lived here, she’d never once hinted she had loved someone. Nor expressed regrets at being single. Did the man die? Seems death stole a lot of people.
“I’ve been happy. Nothing to complain about, but take it from me. Cats aren’t the same as humans.”
“No kidding.”
“They’re more loyal for the most part, however.”
Emmet considered the statement. Had Auntie May’s love interest been disloyal? The idea only reinforced his decision. “Auntie, I’m sorry your love didn’t work out. But you say you’ve been happy. That’s more than many can claim, and likely all any of us can expect. I’m content with my life. I have Ellie and you.” He bent to pat two furry heads. “And the cats.”
“I always wanted more for you. I wanted you to have the things I didn’t.”
