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Joe was in the kitchen, grabbing a coffee.
‘Can I make you one?’ he asked.
Kitty shook her head. ‘No, thanks, I’ve gone off coffee.’ Her body was already rejecting anything that could be considered remotely toxic—alcohol, coffee, strong cheeses, raw fish—and craving healthy options like fresh fruit and vegetables. She’d always tried to eat healthily but she was finding it difficult not to now that she was pregnant, as so many foods made her queasy.
‘How did things go with Talia?’ Joe asked as he pulled out a chair for Kitty.
‘Not great,’ Kitty replied. She pulled the lid off a tin of tuna and ate a mouthful before continuing. ‘She’s in Theatre now. Anna thinks it might have been a ruptured Fallopian tube. I guess she was lucky she was here and not at home.’
Joe thought Kitty looked worried. A crease had appeared between her dark brows and he wondered what was bothering her. She didn’t know Talia, and the woman was far from the first ED patient who would have been whisked off to Theatre.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.
‘I’m just thinking about Talia. There she was all excited about this pregnancy... It was her first, did you know that?’
Joe shook his head. There hadn’t been the time or the necessity to go into that detail. It would have been far different if she’d been in labour, but with an unconfirmed pregnancy it was irrelevant to the ambulance crew.
‘One minute she’s all excited about the news,’ Kitty continued, ‘and the next, if Anna’s diagnosis is correct, she won’t be pregnant any more and the best-case scenario is they are able to save her Fallopian tube. Jess and Cam are so excited about my pregnancy, so excited to meet their child, but I can’t stop thinking of all the things that could go wrong.’
So that was the problem. Kitty’s imagination was working overtime as usual. She was always of the opinion that if something could go wrong, it would.
‘I think I might ask Anna if she can do an ultrasound for me,’ she said.
‘Why?’
‘Just to check things out. It’ll make me feel better.’
‘You have no reason to think anything is wrong. You’ve been feeling queasy, you’ve gone off coffee...’ He didn’t mention her sore breasts. ‘You’ve got all the right signs.’ He knew she had a tendency to worry overly about things and imagine all the things that go awry. ‘Have you had another blood test?’
‘Yes. My hCG levels are still rising.’
‘That’s a good sign, right?’
‘Yes.’
‘When is your scheduled ultrasound?’ he asked. He was trying to be the best friend that she expected. He had been consciously trying to stem any negative emotions. Those feelings weren’t useful to anyone. But ever since Kitty had confirmed her pregnancy and he’d experienced the unexpected sense of jealousy he had questioned why. And he’d finally figured it out.
Children of his own had never been on his agenda—in his mind if he couldn’t commit to a woman he didn’t deserve to father children—but with Kitty’s announcement he’d had to admit that he actually did want to be a father. He didn’t begrudge her the pregnancy, far from it, and it shouldn’t matter that she was going to have a baby. That shouldn’t impact on his ability to be supportive, and he knew he shouldn’t be jealous, but he was finding the reality a little different from the theory. All it did was remind him that someday soon Kitty might be having children of her own, and moving on from their friendship.
But that was his issue and he would deal with it, and in the meantime he would make sure he was supportive. Maybe being a surrogate uncle to Kitty’s children would suffice.
‘Eight days,’ she replied.
‘I think you should wait until the scan, then. Think of how exciting that is going to be. Don’t you want to be able to share that with Jess and Cam? Surely you don’t want to take that excitement away from them by having seen it all before?’
She sighed. ‘You’re right.’
‘Good girl. It’ll all be fine, you’ll see.’
‘How come you always know the right thing to say?’
He laughed. ‘Maybe to you, because I know you so well.’
‘Thanks, Joe.’ Kitty stood up and tossed her sandwich wrapper in the bin before hugging him.
He loved the feeling of her arms around him. She was still so tiny and he wondered how long it would be before he’d be able to feel a little baby bump. He didn’t imagine it would take long as there was nowhere for the baby to go except out. He wondered too how much the pregnancy would change her. She was worrying now—would she continue to worry progressively more and more throughout the pregnancy, or would she eventually accept that things were going according to plan and relax? Whatever happened, he vowed to be there for her and to help her to cope. He had always been her rock and he didn’t want that to change. No matter how he felt.
* * *
Kitty was starting to feel more like her normal self. Her morning sickness was abating and, at twenty-two weeks, she was now feeling like she thought she was supposed to—a glowing, pregnant woman. She hadn’t gained much weight yet except for in her breasts, but she felt voluptuous for the first time in her life and it was making her feel very feminine. She knew it was hormonal but she was constantly thinking about sex. She hadn’t had sex in six months, nearly seven, and she was beginning to think she might go crazy unless she did something about it.
And it seemed she wasn’t the only one. As she sat with Lisa and a couple of other nurses at the Manly Pier Hotel the talk turned, inevitably, to men and the lack of good ones.
Kitty was enjoying the evening. It was good to be out and nice to have the focus off the pregnancy for a little while. At home with Jess and Cam it had become the number one topic of conversation, so she was looking forward to talking about the things she used to discuss with her girlfriends. The pub was busy, the line at the bar a couple of people deep. It was her turn to buy the drinks but she didn’t feel like fighting her way through the crowd. Like a knight in shining armour Joe appeared and offered to place their order.
‘You and Joe aren’t an item?’ one of the nurses asked, continuing the conversation as she watched Joe walk to the bar.
‘No. Just friends,’ Kitty replied.
‘With benefits?’ Victoria asked.
‘No.’ Kitty shook her head.
‘He’s hot.’
He did look good tonight, Kitty thought, although she had to pretend she hadn’t noticed. He wore his favourite jeans, and they were her favourites on him too. They hugged his backside, highlighting what she considered to be one of his best features. A white T-shirt hugged his chest. It was a simple outfit but it showcased his body to perfection. He was fit and muscular with just the right amount of confident swagger, she thought as she watched him leaning on the bar. His hair was casually perfect, he looked like he hadn’t made a huge amount of effort, as if he got out of bed looking like this—relaxed and gorgeous with a cheeky grin for whichever female he was talking to.
She had to agree with Victoria. Joe was hot, but she’d long ago taught herself to ignore it. They were friends, first and foremost, and she was too afraid of ruining the status quo to ever test the boundaries of that friendship. She needed him as a friend and she wasn’t going to risk their relationship by blurring the lines.
‘Is he single?’ Victoria asked as they watched Joe return to their table.
‘He’s single,’ Kitty admitted.
He delivered their drinks with a smile, making the dimple in his chin flash, and Kitty noticed that Victoria couldn’t take her eyes off him. He didn’t stay, choosing instead to go out to the deck where some of his mates were drinking, and Victoria’s gaze followed his path through the crowd.
All the talk about men and, more specifically Joe, had Kitty flustered. She couldn’t think about him and sex in the same conversation. She’d trained herself not to and, besides, he’d never even hinted that he’d be willing to cross that line.
But what if he did? What would she do?
She shook her head.
She’d be crazy to even consider it. She wasn’t prepared to risk the friendship of a lifetime for a brief encounter between the sheets. Even if her hormones were going crazy, there were others ways to scratch that itch. Kitty drained her water glass and stood up as the DJ played his first track. The pub was full of good-looking young men. Joe was not the only eligible bachelor here, she thought as she dragged Lisa onto the dance floor.
* * *
Joe could see Kitty on the dance floor from his vantage point on the deck. She looked particularly beautiful tonight. He knew she was suffering a little from morning sickness but she had a pregnancy glow and by this evening she was obviously feeling, and looking, better. Her hair was thick and glossy and her skin was luminous. She moved well—she was the epitome of someone who danced as if no one was watching, and he took advantage of that fact to watch her.
She was normally slight, but the pregnancy had added some curves to her bust and her hips, he thought as he watched her hips move to the music. She let herself go to the rhythm of the song and Joe let his eyes follow her movements. There was something hypnotic, almost sensual, about her dancing.
He shook his head and turned away. He felt awkward and exposed now—he wasn’t used to thinking about Kitty in that sense. Of course he’d noticed little things about her before—the depth of her brown eyes, the curve of her lips, the twin dimples in her cheeks—but he’d never let himself entertain an image of her as a sexual being before. He’d always kept her firmly in the friend zone.
He turned his gaze to Lisa instead as he tried to get the image of Kitty’s hips out of his head and watched as the girls were joined by a couple of guys. Strangers—or at least they were strangers to him. Not that who Kitty danced with was any of his business, but Joe felt his hackles rise anyway as his protective, or should that be territorial, instincts came to the fore.
Kitty danced for a few more minutes but when Lisa’s boyfriend arrived she excused herself and headed to the bar, closely followed by one of the guys. Joe’s protective instincts kicked up another notch. If this guy wanted a chance with Kitty he’d have to go through him first.
Joe pushed his way through the crowd and arrived at Kitty’s side just as the guy asked, ‘What can I get you?’
‘She’ll have a water,’ Joe answered.
The guy looked from Kitty to Joe. ‘I wasn’t asking you.’
‘And yet I’m answering.’ His protective instincts were on high alert now. Kitty didn’t need a stranger buying her drinks, and as the guy half-turned away from Joe to face Kitty, obviously not about to listen to Joe, he couldn’t resist adding, ‘She’s pregnant. She’ll have a water.’
He saw the guy glance down at Kitty’s stomach. There were no visible signs of her pregnancy yet, not unless you knew her. Joe knew that her breasts were bigger and she was a little softer, a little more rounded, more voluptuous, but she was wearing a loose sleeveless top and jeans. All anyone else would notice was the size of her breasts. And Joe didn’t want other guys noticing that.
Her skin glowed. She looked beautiful. And cross.
She was glaring at Joe but he pretended not to notice.
The guy looked back at Joe. He looked irritated too but Joe didn’t care. ‘Are you the father?’ he asked.
‘No.’
‘Then what business is it of yours?’
‘It’s her brother-in-law’s baby,’ Joe stated flatly.
The look on the stranger’s face was priceless. If Kitty hadn’t still been glaring at him Joe would have laughed. The guy looked completely horrified and he disappeared fast. Just as Joe had hoped.
‘What are you doing?’ Kitty turned on him.
‘What are you doing?’ he countered.
‘I was talking. He was cute.’ She was watching him walk away. ‘And now he thinks I’m a complete crazy.’
‘He wasn’t cute,’ Joe said. ‘And he looked about eighteen. No wonder he ran.’ He couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face but Kitty was still cross.
‘Joe, I haven’t had sex in almost seven months, my hormones are going wild and I’m about to burst with frustration. I wasn’t going to marry the guy. It’s just sex.’
Just sex.
Joe saw red. He’d never understood that expression until now. Blackness encroached onto the edges of his vision as a red haze washed over the centre. His scientific background told him that it was probably due to a rush of blood through his body, and he would swear he could feel his blood pressure building. He had a burning desire to punch something.
He didn’t want to think about Kitty having sex with strangers. The very idea horrified him.
He was aware of other men looking at her with interest and listening to their conversation. He took a deep breath and tried to clear his vision as he gripped her elbow and steered her out to the relative quiet of the deck before any other strangers offered to help her out.
‘I was only talking to him,’ she argued again, not prepared to let the discussion drop. ‘What’s the matter with you?’
‘You were talking to him but thinking about sex?’ he replied. ‘You don’t know anything about him.’ He knew he sounded like an irrational fool. Kitty was an adult and could make her own decisions, but he really didn’t want her thinking about having sex with strangers.
Kitty rolled her eyes. ‘If you hadn’t scared him off I might have found out more about him. That’s how meeting people works, Joe. You meet, you talk, you decide if you like each other.’
‘And then you have sex.’
‘That was my plan.’
‘But you’re pregnant.’
‘So? You think people don’t have sex when they’re pregnant?’
He didn’t want to think about her having sex, pregnant or otherwise. Not with strangers, that was for damn sure.
She was grinning at him now, the little dimples in her cheeks twinkling. He didn’t want her to think he was being funny, he was deadly serious. And he wanted her to take him seriously.
He was sorely tempted to offer his services but bit his tongue just in time. There was no way in hell that was a good idea.
She was waiting for his answer. Looking up at him with her big brown eyes, making it difficult to remember just why taking her in his arms and taking her to bed would be so terrible.
‘I don’t want to talk about you having pregnant sex,’ he said as he tried futilely not to imagine what her lips would taste like. Tried not to imagine how her breasts would feel under his fingertips.
‘Why not?’
They were standing very close now and the noise from the bar receded into the distance as Kitty continued to look up at him, a challenge in her dark eyes.
Why not what? He couldn’t remember what he’d said. He couldn’t think straight when she looked at him like that. She was all lips and eyes and breasts and he was a mess.
Their conversation was forgotten as he stared at her lips. He thought about kissing her soundly, showing her what it was like to be kissed by someone who knew her well. Who cared about her. Showing her how much better that was than kissing a complete stranger. Why had he never kissed her before? He couldn’t remember.
Everything receded, the noise, the crowd, until there was just the two of them.
He searched for a good reason not to kiss her now and couldn’t think of one. The urge was overpowering and he didn’t know if he could resist.
He bent his head.
She lifted her chin and tilted her head up to him.
CHAPTER FOUR (#uf3372faa-8d77-5a7b-8e83-76e0496ad695)
KITTY’S LIPS WERE PARTED. He could see the tip of her tongue, soft and pink between her teeth. Was she waiting for him to kiss her?
His eyes widened as she licked her lips.
Blood pounded in his veins.
Did she want him to kiss her?
How the hell could he know?
