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Then there was that bird – Grace. There was something about her. She was gorgeous, but she seemed to have absolutely no idea of that. He closed his eyes and pictured her. Big brown eyes and long dark hair. She’d been wearing a baggy T-shirt and jeans, but he’d still been able to see her big tits and slim waist beneath. She was shy too, and different from the girls he usually fucked about with. He smiled as he remembered how she blushed and almost ran away when he spoke to her. And then of course there was the fact that she owned that pub. The place was a gold mine. Eighteen years old and it was all hers. The things he could do with that kind of capital behind him.
He was looking forward to seeing her again later. If he played his cards right, she’d probably let him spend the night. Sitting up in bed, he took a cigarette from the packet on the bedside table, lit it and took a long drag.
Yes, this was going to be a good year for him.
Chapter Ten (#ulink_431b6a07-d3a8-500b-a618-6877bba8e4d5)
Present Day
Grace could see Ivan waving frantically through the coffee shop window, trying to get her attention. She ordered a latte from the young barista and joined him at his table.
‘Thanks for meeting me here, Grace,’ he said. ‘I didn’t fancy the prospect of your Nathan turning up and giving me another grilling.’
‘Not a problem,’ she said. ‘But he’s not my Nathan.’
She had other plans that required her being out of the way for the day anyway, now that Nathan was calling into the pub almost every day, as he had done for the past two weeks. Always under the pretence he was there to see Jake, of course. Jake, who neither worked or lived there. It was infuriating. Knowing that he could turn up at any moment made her feel like she always had to be on her guard. It was bloody exhausting.
Ivan Golding had been Grace’s accountant for almost twelve years. He handled all her money and investments and he was very good at what he did. He had become a dear friend and she trusted him implicitly.
‘What did Nathan say to you, then?’ she asked Ivan.
‘He came to my office and asked me why I was visiting you at home and what business we had together. He started getting a bit aggressive, Grace. So, I had to tell him I’m your accountant, just to get him to stop glaring at me like that.’ Then in a voice that was barely a whisper, he said, ‘I think he thought we were, well – you know.’
She stifled a laugh. Ivan was a lovely man but he was over twenty years older than her and a few inches shorter too. Not Grace’s type at all. Not to mention he was as camp as they come. She was sure Nathan didn’t think that anything was going on between them, it was just one example of his many intimidation tactics.
‘So, then what did he say?’ she asked, anxious to find out just what exactly Nathan was up to.
‘He kept asking me why you needed an accountant and what pies you had your fingers in, or something like that. He really is quite vulgar, Grace; I truly don’t understand what you ever saw in him. Well, aside from the obvious,’ he said, raising his eyebrows in a gesture so comical it almost made her spit her coffee at him.
‘Whatever do you mean, Ivan?’ she asked him with a smirk, feigning her ignorance.
He let out a short laugh. ‘You know exactly what I mean. You cheeky mare; he looks like he just walked out of a photo shoot for GQ magazine.’
She nodded then. ‘Ah yes, that, and there’s also the fact that he’s hung like a donkey.’
Ivan looked at her in mock horror, his mouth agape, until they both started laughing so loud they started to draw attention to themselves.
‘Anyway,’ Ivan continued, ‘I told him you just like to keep the pub books in order, and that was that. I was quite firm with him, and I think he got the message. I told him nothing of the restaurants. And certainly, nothing of your other investments and activities,’ he said quietly. ‘And obviously, I never would.’
‘Thank you, Ivan. I appreciate your discretion,’ she told him, giving his hand a squeeze. She had no doubt that Nathan would keep digging and find out about her involvement in what had once been his domain soon enough. But the longer she could keep it from him, the better. While he still thought she was nothing more than a pub landlady, he’d be more likely to divulge information about his own business dealings – and that could prove very useful.
Ivan and Grace discussed her finances over another cup of coffee and a pastry.
‘So, everything has been sorted and is in order, Grace, just like you asked. I’ve moved what money I needed to, so everything in your new place will be entirely above board. Well, it will be as far as the taxman is concerned anyway.’
‘Thanks, Ivan. You are a legend,’ she told him, before giving him a kiss on the cheek as she got up to leave.
He took hold of her hand as she started to walk away. ‘Be careful, Grace. That Nathan seems like a real nasty piece of work. If he ever finds out what you did …’
‘Don’t worry. He won’t. Not unless I want him to anyway.’ She smiled at the irony of Ivan warning her about Nathan’s character. As if she didn’t know better than anyone else in the world just exactly what type of man Nathan was. It was that knowledge which sometimes kept her awake at night, but also what made her certain that she could take him down if she needed to.
Stepping outside into the street, Grace cursed as she felt the drops of rain falling onto her bare arms. She’d forgotten her umbrella and was supposed to be meeting someone on the other side of the city centre. She’d get soaked to the skin if she walked there. Taking her phone out of her handbag, she dialled his number.
‘Can you pick me up? I’ve forgotten my coat and my umbrella.’
‘I hope you’ve forgotten your underwear too,’ he laughed.
‘Behave yourself,’ she said, feigning her indignation.
‘Be there in five, babe,’ he said, and she could imagine his smile as he said it; that lovely relaxed grin of his that made her want to kiss him all over his face. She smiled too, thinking of the wonderful afternoon they were about to spend together. For a few hours at least, she would forget that Nathan Conlon even existed.
Chapter Eleven (#ulink_bbbf4410-1ff7-5083-ab29-ad082cdcfa62)
Grace had just finished serving one of her regulars as she heard the doors of the Rose and Crown burst open. The sun rushed in behind him, illuminating his silhouette against the doorway. She groaned inwardly as he approached her. It had been almost four weeks since he’d walked back into her life and she’d had to endure seeing him almost every day since.
‘What are you doing here, Nathan?’
‘Is that any way to greet the love of your life, Grace?’ he smirked.
‘Jake’s not here,’ she snapped.
‘That’s okay,’ he said as he took a seat at the bar. ‘I’m here to meet a friend of mine. I’ll have a whisky while I wait.’
She poured his Scotch and placed it on the bar in front of him. ‘That’ll be £2.80,’ she said.
‘Piss off,’ he spat. ‘I can’t believe you’re still making me pay for my drinks. Are you serious?’
‘Yes.’ She held out her hand until he reluctantly placed a £10 note in it.
‘I’ve been hearing some interesting rumours about you, Grace,’ Nathan said as she was handing him his change.
‘Have you?’ She sighed, in no mood for conversation with him.
‘Yes. Very interesting,’ he persisted.
‘Okay, Nathan. I’ll bite, What sort of rumours?’
‘That you’re not quite as lily-white as you used to be.’
‘Well you’ll know I’m not the same idiotic girl who used to think the sun shone out of your arse then? You can’t push me around anymore.’
He started laughing. ‘Is that so?’
‘God, you’re such a prick,’ she replied.
‘Aw come on, you know you still love me really.’ He grinned before he took a sip of his whisky. ‘Anyway, tell me, why is Patrick Carter always hanging around here? Every time I come in here, he’s skulking around.’
‘He is not skulking around. He’s a paying customer. He’s very welcome here. Unlike you.’
‘You’re not fucking him, are you?’ he asked, his face contorted in disgust.
‘Not that it’s any of your business,’ she hissed. ‘But no, I am not fucking him. He’s a friend of mine, and besides, he’s old enough to be my dad.’ She glared at him. If he registered the veiled insult about his relationship with Kayleigh, then he didn’t show it.
‘Who are you fucking then?’ he asked, his tone suddenly serious.
She stared at him. Who the hell did he think he was? ‘None of your damn business, that’s who,’ she snapped.
‘It will always be my business, Grace. You’re my wife.’
‘I’m your ex-wife, Nathan.’
He ignored her correcting him. ‘So, there is someone then?’
She leaned in close to him and said quietly in his ear: ‘You were enough to put me off men for life, sunshine.’
Turning her back on him, Grace went to serve another customer. She smiled and made polite conversation, but her stomach churned and her heart pounded in her ears. Nathan knew exactly how to push her buttons. The way he treated her like she was his property made her skin crawl. There was a time, when she was an idiotic, love-struck teenager, that she’d thought his possessiveness was quite endearing and his jealousy simply an outward display that he loved her just as much as she loved him. What a fool she’d been.
Chapter Twelve (#ulink_ad234527-d369-5048-a99f-91543559dd55)
Twenty Years Earlier
Nathan brought out the heavy tray of freshly washed glasses from the kitchen and placed them on the bar. He’d decided to work at the pub for the night. He liked to keep an eye on the place sometimes and make sure no one was taking the piss. It gave him a chance to keep an eye on Grace too, and he was glad he’d decided to tonight. There was a young lad who’d been sitting at the bar for a while. He’d been fucking about with the same beer for about half an hour and the cheeky prick had spent most of his time staring at Grace’s arse. Nathan looked at her. Wearing trousers and a shirt, her usual pub attire, nothing was on show as per his instructions. But there was no hiding her figure. She just had something about her.
He started to get hard thinking about what he was going to do to her later, and the way she was always so eager to please him. For her part, Grace seemed oblivious to the lad drooling over her. But that meant she was as friendly to him as she was any other customer, and that just encouraged the poor bastard. Fortunately, for them both, Nathan was in a good mood. He saw the lad signal to Grace to serve him. As she reached him, Nathan came up beside her and slipped an arm around her waist.
‘I’ll get this, babe,’ he said against her ear.
Nathan pulled the young lad’s pint. ‘Not seen you here before, mate, what’s the name?’
‘Liam. I’ve been coming here the past couple of weeks.’
‘Yes, I bet you have,’ he mumbled. Handing him his pint, Nathan leaned down, his elbows on the bar and his face just a few inches from Liam’s. He smiled for appearance’s sake, but he knew with certainty, that it did not disguise the menace in his voice. ‘You do know that’s my girlfriend whose arse you’ve been staring at all night, don’t you?’
Liam swallowed hard. ‘I wasn’t staring, mate. Honest,’ he stuttered.
‘If I ever catch you looking at her again, I will rip your fucking nuts off, and stuff them down your throat. Do you hear me?’
Liam nodded and scuttled off out of the pub. Nathan laughed to himself, sure that would be the last they’d see of him.
The pub had been so busy; Grace had barely had time to think. It always seemed busier when Nathan was there. So many people stopped in to see him, to discuss something or other. He was so at ease behind the bar and the customers loved him too. He always kept them all in good humour, with his constant jokes and easy charm, making sure that they stayed all night to spend their hard-earned money. She, on the other hand, always felt a bit uneasy when he was there, like he was always watching her, waiting for her to say or do the wrong thing, to laugh a little too much at one of the customer’s awful jokes. It was probably just her imagination, but it was a feeling she couldn’t shake. Liam had left after Nathan spoke to him. Grace hoped he hadn’t scared him off; Liam had become a regular and he was harmless.
Once they had seen the last punter out and locked the doors, Grace started to climb the stairs to the flat, with Nathan at her heels. If he were any closer, she would have fallen over his feet. As always, she felt his presence so acutely and wondered what sort of mood he was in. He’d been in good spirits all night, but she knew better than most how quickly his moods could change. As soon as they were inside the flat he grabbed her by the waist and pushed her up against the wall, the full weight of his body pressing into hers, his erection pressing into her hip. He put one hand on her throat, just holding it there.
‘I saw the way that Liam kid was looking at you tonight, Grace. He wants you.’
‘Don’t be daft, Nate. He’s just a kid.’
Nathan shook his head. ‘Trust me, he wants you. I can tell by the way he looks at you, wondering at what lies beneath,’ he said as he started to unbutton her trousers with his free hand. ‘Do you know how hard it makes me when I see other men looking at you, Grace?’ He growled as he pushed his groin into hers as if to prove his point. ‘When I know they’re thinking about fucking you, about touching you the way I do.’
Conscious of his fingers on her throat, she flinched, but his grip didn’t tighten, and he began to caress her neck with his thumb.
‘But I’m yours, Nathan, only yours,’ she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Hoping that he would stop talking about other men wanting her, as it was a subject which was sure to enrage him sooner or later.
He laughed. ‘Oh, I know you are, and don’t you ever forget it!’
Pushing his tongue into her mouth, he kissed her in that way that made her forget her own name before making love to her right there in the hallway.
Chapter Thirteen (#ulink_50b2ceaa-b62a-5dde-aee8-52a93623259c)
Present Day
Nathan sat at his usual table in a quiet corner of the Rose and Crown, waiting for his best mate, Ben McKinley, to talk over a business proposition Nathan had for him. Ben had been semi-legit for a long time, and owned his own garage, but he could still be persuaded to get his hands dirty when the occasion called for it. And Nathan was about to pull off a big takeover; he needed people he trusted around him – and there was no one he trusted more than Ben.
Jake had turned up and was sitting at the bar watching Everton getting slaughtered, as usual. Grace pottered about around him. Nathan watched them both from his vantage point. The closeness they shared was clear enough for a blind man to see. The way Jake looked at his mum every time someone scored – either to convey his joy or dismay. And the way Grace smiled at him, reassuring him everything would always be okay. Nathan had always been envious of their bond. He’d sometimes felt like a voyeur intruding on their happiness. Always standing on the side-lines and never truly one of them. He’d wanted to be. He’d tried to be one of them. Especially after Jake was born; he’d really tried to change. But the pull of his other life had always been too strong. He missed the adulation, the respect, the look in someone’s eyes when they knew they were beaten.
He loved them both more than he’d ever loved anyone. They were the only family he’d ever known. At the age of thirteen, he’d promised himself he’d never let anyone have that sort of power over him again. But ever since he’d met Grace, he’d been besotted by her. He loved her so much, sometimes it felt like he couldn’t breathe without her, and he’d gone and forgotten his most important rule.
Then Grace fell pregnant and it was game over. He’d never wanted kids. That was until she’d told him they were going to have one anyway. If there was anyone he would have chosen to have a baby with, it was her. She was everything a mum should be: warm, caring, and fortunately for him, forgiving. She was an amazing mum, he could never deny that. She had given their son the best home a child could ask for. Not like his own slut of a mother who had never given him any of those things. She’d left him to fend for himself most of the time and was more interested in the various men that drifted in and out of her life than she ever was in Nathan. He was never a priority, never first choice. He always felt like he was in the way. Her greatest regret – that’s what she always told him anyway.
Social services took him away from her when he was eight and she didn’t even try and stop them. Nathan told everyone, even Grace, that she’d died. The truth was, he had absolutely no idea where she was. She probably was dead anyway, her body ruined by years of alcohol and drug abuse.
Nathan never knew his father and, apparently, he didn’t even know his son existed. His mother would never tell Nathan who he was, and claimed she didn’t know, but he never believed her. He always fantasized that his dad would find out about him one day and would rescue him from his miserable life. But of course, his father never came, and Nathan learned that the only person who could rescue him was himself. Only he could pull himself out of the stench and the ugliness he was born into. Shake off the dirt and the shame that were the shackles of his childhood and become something better.
What was it about Grace? He’d always been able to have any woman he wanted. Why could she get to him the way no one else ever could? He used to ask himself those questions all the time. But now he knew. It was the way she made him feel. The way she looked at him like he was the most incredible person in the world. She saw through his suit of armour to the monster beneath and she’d still loved him. She made him feel safe. She was home.
Seeing her and Jake together gave him a hollow feeling in his chest. It didn’t matter how many people were around him, or claimed to be loyal to him, to love him even. When he saw Grace and Jake together, it made him feel more alone than he ever had in his life. It reminded him of the nights he’d spent at home, abandoned, as a small child, waiting for his mother to return. Sometimes it was hours, sometimes days before she came back to him.
Grace and Jake were his family. He belonged with them. He already had Jake believing he was the best dad in the world. His next step was to convince Grace to take him back again. He would make it happen if it was the last thing he did. Whether she wanted to or not. After all, it was her fault that he’d ended up on the path he had. There was a time he was so close to a different life. He had it all planned out. It was just within his grasp. Then he gave it all up – for her. Everything was always for her. Even if she didn’t know it.
Chapter Fourteen (#ulink_6304019f-c4a0-52da-98bb-88acf7ea9640)
Twenty Years Earlier
Nathan lay awake staring at the ceiling, listening to the soothing rhythm of Grace’s steady breathing. Despite putting a twelve-hour shift in earlier, which made all of his limbs ache in a way they never had before, he couldn’t sleep. He could never switch off like Grace did. Within minutes of her head hitting the pillow she was out like a light, but he lay awake for hours. He’d never been a great sleeper; the constant nightmares had seen to that. But this was something else. A nervous energy that kept his mind racing.
He smiled as he remembered a tale he’d told a few of the regulars in the pub earlier, which had ended in Morris the handbag laughing so hard he almost choked, bitter running out of his nose, and old Mick having to run to the gents before he pissed himself. Nathan always had a gag or a funny story to amuse them with, and they lapped it up. They said he was the best thing to have happened to the place in a long time. Now that his name was above the door, people looked at him differently. He was someone. He could refuse to serve any one of them simply because he wanted to. He could throw any of them out on their arse if they even looked at him the wrong way.
Working for Tommy McNulty wasn’t panning out quite as he’d expected. He hated being the new kid. Some days he felt like a glorified errand boy and he was tired of it. Maybe that was why he’d always preferred to work alone? No need to impress anyone. No requirement to ‘fit in’. Of course, he was always needed when something was about to kick off, but he knew he wasn’t being let anywhere near the real danger – or the real money. He was never invited to the quiet little meetings at Tommy’s club, or the after-hours drinking sessions when the good whisky came out.
Of course, there was a certain kudos that came with being associated with someone like Tommy, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that his boss was either waiting for him to prove himself – or to fuck up, and Nathan didn’t have the patience to wait and see which one happened first.
Maybe he’d just keep managing the bar? Tell Tommy that Grace needed him there and he just didn’t have time for anything else. Could he do that? Just walk away from Tommy McNulty? Surely the fact that it was to manage the Rose and Crown and look after Grace would make Tommy more amenable to the situation, given Tommy’s connection to Grace’s dad. A connection that Grace was entirely unaware of and one that Tommy insisted she would never find out about.
Yes, his mind was made up. Tomorrow he was going to talk to Tommy. Thank him for the opportunity he’d given him but tell him that he couldn’t do it anymore. He was going to concentrate on being the landlord of the pub. He had loads of ideas to bring in more business. Live bands. Maybe some food? Quiz nights. He laughed quietly as he turned to bury his head in the pillow. Nathan Conlon going legit. Who’d have thought it?
Tommy McNulty handed Kenny the glass of Scotch he’d just poured. Kenny Lennox had been his right-hand man since his best mate, Patrick Carter, had got sent down for a twelve stretch. Kenny had been with him since the beginning, but the sad truth was that, at the age of forty, Kenny was already past it. One too many run-ins with a fist or a baseball bat, and on one occasion a crow-bar, had left him with a dodgy knee and a bad shoulder. He’d never been the brightest bulb in any case, but the repeated blows to the head had left him with little in the way of the old grey matter. It was only a matter of time before Kenny was replaced by a younger, stronger model. And Tommy knew exactly who that man would be. He’d been grooming the lad ever since he’d met him.
‘So he’s gone to sort the daft prick out on his own then. Boss?’ Kenny asked as he took a seat on the chair opposite Tommy’s desk.
