Closer to the stars

She looked seriously at me and said:

– Ally, you should try that too, it adds a slightly green tone to all of the sausages, and you don’t want to eat something rotten do you?

A hundred and fifty points to Gryffindor for the determination and courage of Hermione!

It happened during our final food shopping spree before the night flight.

– Any souvenirs, Lizzy?, – I asked looking at the cute bulls and magnets.

– Nooo, I don’t have anyone to give them to, you know, or I can get you a plate with dried beans and corns if you are interested. Her shoulders went down giving her a look of a starving stray kitten.

– Oh, don’t play the “lonely creature card” again, please, or I will buy this plate for you and ask for an engraving “to the black hole of the universe”.

– What?!

– Sorry, I can’t think of anything more lonely than a black hole flowing somewhere out there between the galaxies.

Lizzy rolled her eyes and handed me a large dark bottle of something.

– The best olive oil we can find. 100% pure, unrefined, cold press.

– Goes into your suitcase, – I said handing the bottle back.

– oh you! Dry salad on your plate for a week it is then.

I laughed and proceeded to the cashier.

That was our last evening at the hotel and, luckily, we were to watch the new episode of “Chloe” before we get into a cab to the El Prat International airport.

Seemed like the weather didn’t want us to leave so soon – a sudden storm in all its might and beauty threw itself onto the little city making its best charm – the pine trees – lean to the ground.

– Today is the season’s finale, – Lizzy told me in excitement,

– I hope it will be romantic and they will finally get together! How cute would that be?!

– Mhmm, – I nodded, getting a flashback to the day I was spying on the actor. I bet the script would get the show right where Lizzy is hoping for it to go.

– Don’t be so boring, Al, I know you like the show, especially after your Matthew got into it.

– My? Wha? –    Goes with me to the grave, but I saw you checking his wiki page while searching for the livestream. Cancers aren’t as naive as one might think! – she beamed like a detective who managed to find the murderer.

– Of course they aren’t, – I answered, – they are just pure devils in a unicorn skin!

That costed me my snack bowl. But she was right after all. I was deeply interested in the subject. So indeed it was a season finale and heck it was full of romance. Matthew looked sharp, carried a bunch of red and pink roses and Chloe wore an unforgettably open dress (which almost made Lizzy sick). I had a sudden urge to turn this crap off, but something in me protested and asked to wait for 5 more minutes. My friend said her best “awww” when the actors kissed and turned her cute face to me.

– Don’t say anything, – I warned, – if the scenario proceeds like this, you will have to watch it alone at home.

I meant to sound sarcastic, but it went out sort of hurt and offended.

– You should write him, – Lizzy said, – it might be the destiny knocking on your door. You will never know, unless you make a step towards it.

– You can’t be serious, I hope you aren’t serious, because I shan’t do that. I mean, firstly, all this is just nonsense as I don’t even know the guy and I am too old for chasing movie stars, and, secondly, did you forget that there still is my life at Kevinsland?

– Your life at Kevinsland is not different from a lonely land, hon. He turns up when he needs you, to boost up his confidence and then leaves you empty when you require his attention most. You have me, of course, to get fixed and charged, but, see, as you have once said, one day some prince charming might steal me away, – Lizzy finished with a green.

I love how she can say something realistically bad and then put some star dust on top to keep you smiling.

There is a point in what she was saying of course. Kevin can’t really be the best partner, but wasn’t the two people to blame for the imperfect relationship? Maybe it was me who needed to change or to get a different perspective on our dating routines? Thats why self-development courses are always so profitable, aren’t they?

As if hearing my thoughts Lizzy proceeded.

– You know he is a narcissist don’t you? It might be hard to see it behind his blue-lagoon eyes, actually, it is not chasing stars that you are old for, but believing into something that is not there and letting yourself to be misled and used.

– You should have chosen psychology at the uni, – I sincerely utter, – would have bought us a luxurious mediterranean villa by now,

– No way, I would have died of all the unresolved problems people would shower me with, – she laughed.

– True. You take everything too close to your fragile heart, and that is why you really need a brave knight to protect you from this reality.

– And I think, – she prompted, – someone must take a step out of reality and learn that there is so much more to this world than just “hanging in”.

– I have forwarded you something via WhatsApp, take a look, please.

I grabbed my phone and opened her message to see the link to Matthew’s/Robert’s instagram account. No time to look at it though, cause we were already late for the cab! We take a quick glance around to check that our phone chargers are taken out and packed, and push the last snack packs into my suitcase. Almost running downstairs for the check out.

– Buenas noches, si, si, disfruten del resto de su estancia y les deseo un buen viaje de regreso a sus países.

We didn’t have a minute to stay, but appreciated the polite manner in full, cause during our time within Barcelona we have had some very disappointing moments asking the way.

Many people preferred to answer in Spanish, while being asked in English, with the air of “what the heck are you doing here, royal brit, get your arse back to your 5 o’clock tea”.

No offense taken though, have had even worse reception in some parts of Italy and France. Can't judge the poor souls having to run around on espressos all their lives without a chance to enjoy a slow 5 o’clock tea and a polite conversation.

Bad carma hits hard. While I was thinking about the rudeness of some earthly beings, we jumped into the cab and drove to the airport to find out that I have left my new autumn boots at the hotel and that I was actually still wearing… flipflops.

What reality is Lizzy talking about? Seriously, I must be the only person in the whole world to be careless enough to come to the airport all dressed up and shoeless. Although it is better than pajamas or a bathrobe, but still very exotic. I mean it would be al right if it was a flight to Bahamas, but we were going back to England, baby!

Getting quite a few photos of my outfit taken and a lot of laughs from surrounding people including, of course, Lizzy (whom I hadn’t stop blaming till we got home, for she could be sensitive enough to check her besty's looks), we proceeded onboard. It was a very comfortable journey I must say, although I had to wear some socks inside my comfy shoes. Kevin could not make it to the MAN and I was happy he didn’t see my woolen socks looking like little dogs with muzzles completed by my flipflops. He would laugh at me for years and years. Lizzy had to swear by all the best things in her life (veganism, cozy blankets and herbal teas) she wouldn’t let my secret out. The cab took me home first, cause Lizzy lived a block further, so I kissed her on the tanned cheek, took my suitcase with no new boots inside, and got up the stairs.

And there, to my utmost surprise, I saw a bunch of red and pink roses in a gorgeous antiquish vase standing by my door. I couldn’t help but smell the fresh flowers, bringing the summer joy to the windy rainy Friday night. I could see a note between the flower buds.

“Welcome home, love! Thought England might look too colorless for you now. Xoxo”.

Season 2

Episode 1

Chloe is in doubt and I get a premonition (?)

Things were getting closer to Halloween, stores filled with spooky candy and scary outfits.

I really loved all that as a kid, but now time goes by so fast, seems like you don’t get a chance to stop and enjoy or to really wait for a holiday. Everything rushes into your life before you can think of it.

– Sexy nurse or a crazy nun? – Lizzy asks as we move along the racks.

– Do they have an XXL cushion costume for me? – I sigh, – Spain didn’t do my body any good, except for the vitamin D, I guess.

– You’re too harsh on yourself, Al, buuuut , I did see you back at the hotel bar drinking a milkshake, not plant based milk, I suppose, ha? – she gave me that detective look again. –    Oh well, I swear it was only for the purpose of investigation! I needed to know if Spanish milk tasted better than British, and I proudly can assure you it did not.

– I shan’t listen to your excuses, – she snorted, – your metabolism has already punished you anyways. Evil biker or a cat woman?

– A what? Oh, right, costumes. I really want to bail this time, but Kevin has to go and promote himself and I am his trophy or cheerleader or strong back to rely on.

– You can use the word girlfriend if it seems appealing, – Lizzy looks right into my soul.

– Girlfriend is boring, – I find my excuse, – you always tell me to work on my synonyms cause my posts and hashtags irritate you. See, I AM working!

She smiles and takes a purple dress witch costume for herself and a Cleopatra for me. Off we go.

I take a cab to the little place on Hollins road where I am to meet Kevin for a bite. He loves their authentic breakfast and as we both had an opening this Friday morning sharing some nice food seemed like a great idea.

The cold air got into my nostrils as soon as I pushed myself out of the warm cab, realizing that winter is just around the corner. Still have no idea where to spend Christmas: have snowy Sweden with the folks or some palmy distant resort with Kevin as the alternatives. Both would suit my blog very much but the last variant would mean leaving Lizzy alone here as Kevin is always too jealous of her “stealing” our precious moments. Whatever he means by this.

At first I tried to explain him the importance of my friendship with Lizzy: several years ago she lost her parents in a car crash and as she has no siblings I tried to fill in this open wound space. We have been besties since high school and there is no other person on the whole planet and within our galaxy, I suppose too, who could make me feel like home better than this short haired polar fox.  Thinking of this made my heart sink a little and get my mind closer to the Swedish vacation. Lizzy would be so happy and my parents too – they have always seen her as a part of our family. Maybe even Jason could make it, he always brings extra festivity to the holidays.

Kevin was already there as I entered, eating the authentic breakfast.

– Oh, hey, hon, sorry, was starving! Ordered you a flat white for starters, check the menu, they have some new stuff which you might like. Even some greens on greens as your friend would appreciate, – he looked really cheerful.

– Sure, no prob, I am not even properly hungry, – I said to Kevin and then replied to a waiter hurrying to ask what I wanted, – just a toast, please, veggie one.

Kevin threw me a sarcastic glance.

– Who could have thought that you can be so easily influenced, – he mumbled not even looking at me.

– There is a good side to it, Kev, YOU also can totally get me do whatever you want.

– I didn’t intend to be harsh, but it sort of came out like that.

– Let’s change the subject, shall we?

– Course… we are going to that club in Manchester on the 31st, right?

– Of course, we are, – I smiled in celebration of the subject change, – I will be a Cleopatra, sooo

– I get the Mark Antony part? – He laughed.

– Yes, you are too handsome for a Caesar!!

– I am glad you still think so!

At this moment I had a sudden vision, I don’t know how you can call it. Something you have never experienced in reality and which feels totally real with all the details like smell and sound. The word “premonition” comes to my mind, but I don’t believe in such things, nor can I be sure I was having a glance into the future.

The scary part was that it lasted for only several seconds, but took me completely out of the surrounding reality: I had to grab the table’s corner to be sure I was physically there, in this particular restaurant with this particular man.

– Are you all right? – Kevin asked worriedly, – you are so pale, I guess you were too hungry for a cup of caffeine on an empty stomach. I will go ask if your toast is coming any time soon and I will make sure it has some cheese on it. I nodded having no strength to say anything or protest the cheese.

I was still partly somewhere else, on the shore, looking into someone else’s dark eyes, feeling so happy my heart was going to explode into millions of pieces. Smell of a corndog, sea salt mixing with sweat on my skin, on his skin… The way he held my hand as if it was the only thing keeping him at peace in this world. The afternoon wind playing with my long salty hair, seagulls fighting over something nearby, a young woman in a colorful swimsuit running towards her curly haired toddler…

– There you go, Ally, I’m telling you, this vegan thing will get you to the hospital one day, – Kevin looked sincerely worried, – have a bite and get your powers up.

– Thank you, – I said with a weird feeling of embarrassment, – you are so kind.

The toast was amazingly good, and by the time I got done with it, I almost felt like myself again. Myself. Realistic sarcastic Allison and not some nut with “flash forwards” or premonitions. Why do I even think that it is from the future? Maybe it is just a collision of two parallel universes and if so, I must be happy that the other me somewhere out there is having a much more fulfilled life and a one in a lifetime relationship. How crazy is that to be jealous of yourself in a parallel world?

We talked about Jeronimo and his cars and the good money he has paid us for the promotion, then discussed Kevins career plans (which seemed a bit too fantastic to me, but I am all in for heading to the stars, not looking down) and then just sat there in silence watching the traffic behind the window. The good silence. Between two people who know each other for so long that they don’t have to speak constantly to be understood or to feel at ease.

We shared a cab and kissed each other goodbye.

Lizzy has a spare key from my apartment and is free to come whenever she feels like, and I was sure to find her there, cause it was another Friday.

– You’ve missed the intro, – I heard Lizzy shouting from the sofa, – and it looks like Chloe doesn’t want to have a boyfriend anymore.

– What?! – I shouted back,

– An intro, the music, I know you are in love with it and would be very upset to have missed the first minutes.

– No, no, – I pretended not to hear a word, – the boyfriend part, I meant…

Lizzy turned fully on the sofa to face me. Of course, I couldn’t tell her about my little bout, still I felt that the Robert situation has taken a new turn and now deserved to be investigated.

– Haaa, so you decided to praise him with your attention finally? – Lizzy seated there in full glory with her lentil soup in a unicorn mug, – I have already talked to the stars about you two.

It sounded so surreal even for Lizzy that I stood there with my long green coat half still on me and half already touching the floor and the red knitted hat in my hand.

– Hey, just joking, Ally, – she proceeded worriedly, – you look as if you saw a ghost, Halloween is not there yet, honey. I just meant…do you remember my new exciting online hobby?

– Which one? – I asked in confusion.

– I knew you never listen to what I say, – Lizzy was about to turn the conversation somewhere else. And it definitely wasn’t the right time. So I brainstormed myself for her latest hobbies (those change every 4-to-10 days) and decided to have a lucky guess.

– Human design? – I proposed, looking like a guilty puppy.

– Wow, you do listen! – good, I kept her on the right track.

– Of course I do!! Now tell me all about it!

– About human design? – Lizzy asked in awe.

– No, no, about you talking to the stars and whatever else considering me and … Robert.

– Ohhhh, about thaaat! – she gained her powers back, –    well, I used your birth dates, birth times and places to find out that you are … a perfect match! Like meant to be! Destiny! Stars! Fireworks!

And she began to jump ecstatically expressing the pure joy of fulfilling the God’s will.

I didn’t even bother to ask where she got Robert’s birth time. She is like a real private investigator at times!

Lizzy always loved all sorts of astrological readings and palmistry and lately that Human design thing. I am not a believer in such predictions, but the things she told me about my map and my type – the Manifestor, seemed pretty much true.

We had to postpone the rest of the Human design conversation till later, as both Chloe and Matthew came onto the screen and I, having left my outer clothing in the hall, joined Lizzy on the sofa to watch how Chloe was telling Matthew she hadn’t been ready for a serious relationship. Then the cameraman decided to award us with a close-up of Matthew’s/Robert’s face and those dark brown eyes I have so clearly seen this morning.

Episode 2

Chloe goes on vacation and I dare to spy again

Done with Halloween party, which turned out to be much better than I had expected. Kevin couldn’t arrange a Mark Antony costume, so he arrived as an Anubis and that got all the attention he needed. I as well got quite a bunch of compliments as Cleopatra, especially the shiny dark hair (fake of course) of the queen made a sensation looking very sensual together with my green eyes.

Not without jealousy had I noticed many girls hitting on Kevin, and him being all smiles, cause, you know, the image of a popular guy includes stuff like that.

But the feeling didn’t come from my heart, as it normally happens when you are deeply in love, sort of pumping through your veins and making you angry. This time it was like not wanting to share your personal belongings. Like being angry at someone trying to steal your bike in front of your eyes. I let it go too quickly. And it made our evening even more pleasant. We danced a lot, got some Sparkling wine from a bat decorated bottle, met heck lot of new people and ended up passing out at Kevin’s place.

He has a fantastic duplex apartment, very modern, in light tones and with a lot of metal everywhere. It feels like a hotel where you come to have some fun, but lacks the authenticity and coziness which usually hide in little sweet details. Hundred percent bachelor apartment with a great De'Longhi coffee machine.   Taking hot shower there in the morning felt so familiar already and so good after the rough night out. Standing under the thick shower rain and looking at the drops sliding down the glass door made me contemplate on the latest events of my life. I didn’t feel lost, but it definitely wasn’t a cloud number nine as well. Thankfully no more messages from the parallel universe arrived and I had a totally Robert free week (Lizzy went to get new photo material to some rural parts of Manchester, and I was to prepare the stories to share with the followers), but I won’t lie – my mind brings him up regularly and I have begun seeing his silhouette in the crowded streets of Oldham’s downtown, thinking he might have come to see his family or old British friends. On remembering this I wanted to wash my head on the inside also, gosh, why hasn’t anyone created a brain shampoo?

I came out of the shower to see a note on the coffee table saying Kevin will be back in a sec with some fresh pastries. Italian breakfast it is then, I thought, and went to make the coffees.

Then I heard the bell ring and came to the hall surprised that Kevin wasn’t using his keys. But that wasn’t Kevin, that was a delivery guy with a bunch of flowers and a small package.

– Kevin Lane? – he asked as if waiting for an approval of me being the mentioned guy.

– He is out now, – I mumbled, – but I can give it to him as soon as he is back.

– Ok, just sign in here and here, please… good, thank you, have a beautiful day.

And off he went down the stairs. I brought the flowers in – they were gorgeous. It felt like spring entered the apartment with the bouquet. My first thought was that some company had sent Kevin a thank you gift, but then I saw a card with red hearts on top of the package. Indecisively I waited several minutes my fingers playing with the flower buds… That is intruding into someone’s personal space, isn’t it? The same thing as spying which always require some lies afterwards. I hate lying, I hate spying. But Kevin is my boyfriend and he is the one to always talk of mutual trust and purity of our relationship. What if it really is just a thank you flower gift? Then I will not be ashamed of having looked into the note. But… what if it isn’t?

I haven’t had a chance to learn though, cause Kevin entered the flat surprised at the sight of the flowers.

– Did you rob some flower boutique? – he laughed sincerely.

– I think someone else did it for me, – I replied.

I really felt like Kevin was now thinking exactly what I had been thinking about a few seconds ago. If its some company – we can laugh and he can “regive” the bouquet to me like he usually does, but what if its not?

– Moreover, there is a package to it, – I said hating myself a bit. I was the one to put gasoline into this fire.

– Oh, – he replied, – then we might need to read the card to know whom it comes from and open the gift to see what the heck it is.

On saying this he took the card, turned it in his fingers and read it out loud with a funny mocking tone.

– “Kevin, you are my dream come true. xx Monica”

I tried to read his eyes: surprised…but not too much. Didn’t expect flowers, but knew the sender. Spending time with Lizzy has made me my own private investigator. I was really worried about the insides of the package. Honestly I didn’t want to know what’s in it. And again Kevin joined me in my thoughts. He just threw the gift on the upper rack of the bookshelf. It did look like a book though.

A moment of weird silence was broken by a phone call. It was Lizzy.

– Ally, I have just seen Robert in a beer commercial! And on a couple of billboards on the way from Manchester. This guy is going world wide famous… – I had to break her monologue, saying

– Lizzy, hi, I really cannot talk right now, we can discuss this in the evening while watching Chloe, can’t we? Or I can pick you up a bit earlier for a vegan coffee?

– Awww, vegan coffee sounds lovely! I will be ready at 17. We need to discuss one new client as well, seems interesting! We might have to travel again soon… and maybe to learn some turkish.

– What?! – I wonder how many “Whats” has she made me exclaim since I have known her.

– Won’t steal your time now, love bird! Say hello to you know who. All the details at 17!

And she hang up.

I was glad that she had called though, as it gave Kevin exactly the needed time to go to the kitchen and pour the coffees from the machine. Seemed like the flower situation had never ever happened. I didn’t pursue and we turned to the croissants and strawberry jelly instead. On the way out of his apartment I did check the stairs and building corners for some hiding teenagers in short skirts and even popped into the common use laundry room. Have no idea why but the name Monica did ring the “young and seductive” bell in my head.

At five as promised I took Lizzy out for the coffees. She wore some red oriental coat with her black leather boots. I awed on seeing her like that.

– Diving into the mood, – she said intriguingly, gave me a long pronounced look, and then added, – Merhaba, canim!