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‘You may say chance,’ says he, ‘and it’s itself is the poor chance all out. Ah, will any of you pull a bed of dry grass for me? All the sticking-plaster in Enniscorthy will be too little for the cuts and bruises I have on me. Ah, if you only knew what I have gone through for you! When I got to the kitchen fire, looking for a sod of lighted turf, what should be there but an old woman carding flax, and you may see the marks she left on my face with the cards. I made to the room door as fast as I could, and who should I stumble over but a cobbler and his seat, and if he did not work at me with his awls and his pinchers you may call me a rogue. Well, I got away from him somehow, but when I was passing through the door, it must be the divel himself that pounced down on me with his claws, and his teeth, that were equal to sixpenny nails, and his wings – ill luck be in his road! Well, at last I reached the stable, and there, by way of salute, I got a pelt from a sledgehammer that sent me half a mile off. If you don’t believe me, I’ll give you leave to go and judge for yourselves.’
‘Oh, my poor captain,’ says they, ‘we believe you to the nines[32 - believe you to the nines – (разг.) верим каждому слову]. Catch us, indeed, going within a hen’s race of that unlucky cabin!’
Well, before the sun shook his doublet next morning, Jack and his comrades were up and about[33 - were up and about – (разг.) были уже на ногах]. They made a hearty breakfast on what was left the night beforehand then they all agreed to set off to the castle of the Lord of Dunlavin, and give him back all his gold and silver. Jack put it all in the two ends of a sack and laid it across Neddy’s back, and all took the road in their hands. Away they went, through bogs, up hills, down dales, and sometimes along the yellow high road, till they came to the hall door of the Lord of Dunlavin, and who should be there, airing his powdered head, his white stockings, and his red breeches, but the thief of a porter.
He gave a cross look to the visitors, and says he to Jack, ‘What do you want here, my fine fellow? There isn’t room for you all.’
‘We want,’ says Jack, ‘what I’m sure you haven’t to give us – and that is, common civility.’
‘Come, be off, you lazy strollers!’ says he. ‘While a cat ’ud be licking her ear, or I’ll let the dogs at you.’
‘Would you tell a body,’ says the cock that was perched on the ass’s head, ‘who was it that opened the door for the robbers the other night?’
Ah! Maybe the porter’s red face didn’t turn the colour of his frill, and the Lord of Dunlavin and his pretty daughter, that were standing at the parlour window unknownst to the porter, put out their heads.
‘I’d be glad, Barney,’ says the master, ‘to hear your answer to the gentleman with the red comb on him.’
‘Ah, my lord, don’t believe the rascal; sure I didn’t open the door to the six robbers.’
‘And how did you know there were six, you poor innocent?’ said the lord.
‘Never mind, sir,’ says Jack, ‘all your gold and silver is there in that sack, and I don’t think you will begrudge us our supper and bed after our long march from the wood of Athsalach.’
‘Begrudge, indeed! Not one of you will ever see a poor day if I can help it.’
So all were welcomed to their heart’s content, and the ass and the dog and the cock got the best posts in the farmyard, and the cat took possession of the kitchen. The lord took Jack in hand, dressed him from top to toe in broadcloth, and frills as white as snow, and turnpumps, and put a watch in his fob. When they sat down to dinner, the lady of the house said Jack had the air of a born gentleman about him, and the lord said he’d make him his steward. Jack brought his mother, and settled her comfortably near the castle, and all were as happy as you please.
The Shee an Gannon and the Gruagach Gaire
The Shee an Gannon was born in the morning, named at noon, and went in the evening to ask his daughter of the king of Erin.
‘I will give you my daughter in marriage,’ said the king of Erin; ‘you won’t get her, though, unless you go and bring me back the tidings that I want, and tell me what it is that put a stop to the laughing of the Gruagach Gaire, who before this laughed always, and laughed so loud that the whole world heard him. There are twelve iron spikes out here in the garden behind my castle. On eleven of the spikes are the heads of kings’ sons who came seeking my daughter in marriage, and all of them went away to get the knowledge I wanted. Not one was able to get it and tell me what stopped the Gruagach Gaire from laughing. I took the heads off them all when they came back without the tidings for which they went, and I’m greatly in dread that your head’ll be on the twelfth spike, for I’ll do the same to you that I did to the eleven kings’ sons unless you tell what put a stop to the laughing of the Gruagach.’
The Shee an Gannon made no answer, but left the king and pushed away to know could he find why the Gruagach was silent.
He took a glen at a step, a hill at a leap[34 - took a glen at a step, a hill at a leap – (устар.) шел семимильными шагами], and travelled all day till evening. Then he came to a house. The master of the house asked him what sort was he, and he said, ‘A young man looking for hire.’
‘Well,’ said the master of the house, ‘I was going tomorrow to look for a man to mind my cows. If you’ll work for me, you’ll have a good place, the best food a man could have to eat in this world, and a soft bed to lie on.’
The Shee an Gannon took service, and ate his supper. Then the master of the house said, ‘I am the Gruagach Gaire; now that you are my man and have eaten your supper, you’ll have a bed of silk to sleep on.’
Next morning after breakfast the Gruagach said to the Shee an Gannon, ‘Go out now and loosen my five golden cows and my bull without horns, and drive them to pasture; but when you have them out on the grass, be careful you don’t let them go near the land of the giant.’
The new cowboy drove the cattle to pasture, and when near the land of the giant, he saw it was covered with woods and surrounded by a high wall. He went up, put his back against the wall, and threw in a great stretch of it; then he went inside and threw out another great stretch of the wall, and put the five golden cows and the bull without horns on the land of the giant.
Then he climbed a tree, ate the sweet apples himself, and threw the sour ones down to the cattle of the Gruagach Gaire.
Soon a great crashing was heard in the woods – the noise of young trees bending, and old trees breaking. The cowboy looked around, and saw a five-headed giant pushing through the trees; and soon he was before him.
‘Poor miserable creature!’ said the giant. ‘But weren’t you impudent to come to my land and trouble me in this way? You’re too big for one bite, and too small for two. I don’t know what to do, but tear you to pieces.’
‘You nasty brute,’ said the cowboy, coming down to him from the tree, ‘ ’tis little I care for you;’ and then they went at each other. So great was the noise between them that there was nothing in the world but what was looking on and listening to the combat.
They fought till late in the afternoon, when the giant was getting the upper hand[35 - was getting the upper hand – (разг.) начал побеждать 52]; and then the cowboy thought that if the giant should kill him, his father and mother would never find him or set eyes on him again, and he would never get the daughter of the king of Erin. The heart in his body grew strong at this thought. He sprang on the giant, and with the first squeeze and thrust he put him to his knees in the hard ground, with the second thrust to his waist, and with the third to his shoulders.
‘I have you at last; you’re done for now!’ said the cowboy.
Then he took out his knife, cut the five heads off the giant, and when he had them off he cut out the tongues and threw the heads over the wall.
Then he put the tongues in his pocket and drove home the cattle. That evening the Gruagach couldn’t find vessels enough in all his place to hold the milk of the five golden cows.
But when the cowboy was on the way home with the cattle, the son of the king of Tisean came and took the giant’s heads and claimed the princess in marriage when the Gruagach Gaire should laugh.
After supper the cowboy would give no talk to his master, but kept his mind to himself, and went to the bed of silk to sleep[36 - went to the bed of silk to sleep – ср. русск. спал на пуховой перине].
On the morning the cowboy rose before his master, and the first words he said to the Gruagach were, ‘What keeps you from laughing, you who used to laugh so loud that the whole world heard you?’
‘I’m sorry,’ said the Gruagach, ‘that the daughter of the king of Erin sent you here.’
‘If you don’t tell me of your own will, I’ll make you tell me,’ said the cowboy; and he put a face on himself that was terrible to look at, and running through the house like a madman, could find nothing that would give pain enough to the Gruagach but some ropes made of untanned sheepskin hanging on the wall.
He took these down, caught the Gruagach, fastened him by the three smalls, and tied him so that his little toes were whispering to his ears. When he was in this state the Gruagach said, ‘I’ll tell you what stopped my laughing if you set me free.’
So the cowboy unbound him, the two sat down together, and the Gruagach said, ‘I lived in this castle here with my twelve sons. We ate, drank, played cards, and enjoyed ourselves, till one day when my sons and I were playing, a slender brown hare came rushing in, jumped on to the hearth, tossed up the ashes to the rafters and ran away.
‘On another day he came again; but if he did, we were ready for him, my twelve sons and myself. As soon as he tossed up the ashes and ran off we made after him, and followed him till nightfall, when he went into a glen. We saw a light before us. I ran on, and came to a house with a great apartment, where there was a man named Yellow Face with twelve daughters, and the hare was tied to the side of the room near the women.
‘There was a large pot over the fire in the room, and a great stork boiling in the pot. The man of the house said to me, ‘There are bundles of rushes at the end of the room, go there and sit down with your men!’
‘He went into the next room and brought out two pikes, one of wood, the other of iron, and asked me which of the pikes would I take. I said, ‘I’ll take the iron one;’ for I thought in my heart that if an attack should come on me, I could defend myself better with the iron than the wooden pike.
‘Yellow Face gave me the iron pike, and the first chance of taking what I could out of the pot on the point of the pike. I got but a small piece of the stork, and the man of the house took all the rest on his wooden pike. We had to fast that night[37 - had to fast that night – (зд.) пришлось лечь спать голодными]; and when the man and his twelve daughters ate the flesh of the stork, they hurled the bare bones in the faces of my sons and myself.
‘We had to stop all night that way, beaten on the faces by the bones of the stork.
‘Next morning, when we were going away, the man of the house asked me to stay a while; and going into the next room, he brought out twelve loops of iron and one of wood, and said to me: ‘Put the heads of your twelve sons into the iron loops, and keep my own head into the wooden one;’ and I said, ‘I’ll put the twelve heads of my sons in the iron loops, and keep my own out of the wooden one.’
‘He put the iron loops on the necks of my twelve sons, and put the wooden one on his own neck. Then he snapped the loops one after another, till he took the heads off my twelve sons and threw the heads and bodies out of the house; but he did nothing to hurt his own neck.
