The History and Records of the Elephant Club

"The Court.– Boys, what have you got to say for yourselves for such conduct?

"Master White volunteered to act as spokesman. He said:

"Well, one day we was a playing in front of this 'ere man's lager bier saloon, and he come out and threatened to lick us if we didn't stop. We kept on, and bine-by he comes to the door when we wasn't a lookin', and threw a pailful of dirty water on us. We thought we'd got as good a right to the street as he had, so we made up our minds to be even with him, and we got the box and cats and serenaded him.

"Mr. Holzenkamp stated that he baptized the boys a few days before as described. The boys promised not to bother lager bier saloon keepers any more, in consideration of which they were discharged."

Mr. Van Dam stated that the last case called was that of Mr. Timothy O'Neil.

The case he said occupied the attention of the court nearly a half hour, owing to the difficulty which the court experienced in getting him to make direct responses to his questions.

"Timothy appeared in a grey dress-coat – that is to say, it was high in the waist, with a short and pointed tail, a feature oftener produced by tailors than by literary men of the present day. Timothy's vest was red; his breeches were made of corduroy. Below them were long coarse stockings and brogans.

"The evidence went to show that Timothy had been found drunk in the street, but he was not communicative on the subject. He did not call the officer a liar after he had heard him give his evidence, nor tell the judge that he was an 'owld tief.' He said nothing until he was asked to take the usual oath. The Judge said: 'Mr. O'Neil, put your hand on the book.' Mr. O'Neil complied cautiously, fearing the result of his act. When the words of the oath were uttered he made the sign of the cross, and after being requested by the court, kissed the Bible.

"The Clerk.– What's your name?

"Prisoner.– The same as me father's.

"'What was his name?'

"'The same as mine.'

"'Tell me your name or you shall be locked up.'

"'Timothy.'

"'And what else?'

"'I haven't any middle name.'

"'I mean your last name.'

"'O'Neil.'

"'How long have you been in the city?'

"'Since I come to the counthry.'

"'How long is that?'

"'Pat Hooligan can tell ye betther nor I can.'

"'What month was it?'

"'The first Sunday in Lint.'

"'Where do you live?'

"'Wid Biddy and the childer.'

"'Where do they live?'

"'The second floor, back room, bad luck to the bugs that's in it.'

"'I mean what street?'

"'Mike Henessy's store is on the first floor.'

"'Tell me what street the house is on?'

"'Who the divil can tell whin they are changin' the names of the blackguard streets so much?'

"'What was the street called before the name was changed?'

"'Anthony street; they calls it by another name now.'

"'Worth street I suppose you mean?'

"'I mane that the painter should have put it Worthless street.'

"'Whereabouts in Worth street?'

"'Three doors from the corner.'

"'What corner?'

"'The corner of the street.'

"'What street?'

"'The street three doors above.'

"'Well what is its name?'

"'Bad luck to you, why didn't ye ax me that before?'

"'Well, tell me the name.'

"'Faith I don't know miself. It's an alley.'

"'Well, what's the number of the house?'

"'The number on the door do you mane?'

"'Certainly.'

"'There isn't anny.'

"'What is your trade?'

"'Me father never 'prenticed me.

"'I mean what do you work at?'

"'I don't do any work.'

"'Why?'

"'Because you've got me locked up in prison.'

"'Will you tell me what you work at when out of prison?'

"'I'm a laborin' man, sir'

"'At what were you employed?'

"'Haird work.'

"'What kind of work?'

"'In the shores' (sewers).

"'You are charged with being drunk.'

"'Dhrunk, is it. Faith, I never was more sober in my life than I am at this minute.'

"'That may be; but here are a half-dozen men who are ready to swear that they saw you drunk yesterday.'

"'Av it comes to that, can't I bring twiste as manny who will swear that they didn't see me dhrunk yisterday.'

"'What kind of liquor did you drink?'

"'Mighty bad liquor, and ye'd say the same av ye was to thry it.'

"'Was it malt or spirituous liquor?'

"'It was nayther; it was whisky.'

"'Where did you purchase it?'

"'At the Dutchman's.'

"'Where is his store?'

"'On the corner.'

"'What corner?'

"'The corner nearest to where they're buildin' the shtore.'

"'Where is that?'

"Where I was workin'.'

"The Court.– What was O'Neil doing when you found him?

"Officer.– He was lying very drunk in a hole which he had been digging.

"Prisoner.– Be me sowl you're wrong for wonst; I didn't dig the howl; I dug out the dirt and left the howl.

"'Were you ever up before the Court before?'

"'No, nor behind aither; when I want to be again, I'll sind to your honor and let ye know.'

"'If I let you of this time will you keep sober?'

"'Faith I will, unliss the Dutchmin keep betther liquor nor they do now.'

"'You may go.'

"'Thank ye, sir – ye're a gintleman, av there iver was wan.'

"Mr. Timothy O'Neil left the court-room."

Mr. Dropper also proposed to relate the experience of some half a dozen mornings which he had spent in the pursuit of amusement under difficulties, when he had occupied himself in seeing the sights around the Jefferson Market Police Court.

"On one of the mornings which I devoted to visiting the Tombs," said Mr. Dropper, "the class of prisoners varied. Most of them claimed to be from the western of the British Isles. Others said they were born in Cork, Clare, Down, and other counties. A number answered to patronymics to which were prefixed the letter O, and an apostrophe. One party, who called themselves Fardowners, looked brick-bats at another party who occupied a remote corner of the cage, and who claimed to be Connaughtmen. The remainder of the prisoners were Irish.

"An interesting feature in the proceedings of the morning was a case in which Owen Shaughnessy, Patrick Mulholland, Michael O'Shea, Timothy Leahey, Dennis Maroney, Dermot McDermott, Phelim Flannegan, Bridget O'Keefe, Mary McBride, Ellen Dougherty and Bridget Casey were the defendants. As the Judge called out their names, the prisoners severally responded. They were all, as their names would indicate, of Irish birth. The men, evidently long-shoremen and laborers, and the women, servants. Their garments, in some instances, were torn, and in other ways disarranged and soiled. The men, and in one or two instances the women, showed bruises about their faces and hands, indicating their active participation in a recent scrimmage, from the effects of which they had not had the time, or soap and water, to enable them to recover.

"Mr. Gerald O'Grady, who stands at the head of the bar at the Tombs, and who, under adverse circumstances and strong competition, has been enabled, by his talents, to keep up his tariff of fees, from which he has never deviated, appeared as counsel for the prisoners. Mr. O'Grady has never been known to defend a case for less than fifty cents, unless, actuated by feelings of commendable philanthropy, he has volunteered his professional services gratis. It may be reasonably supposed that his success has excited the envy of the 'shysters;' for while they have to sit oftentimes a whole morning beside their respective granite columns at the Tombs, without being called upon to defend a case, Mr. O'Grady's presence in the court-room is in frequent demand. Mr. O'Grady had been retained in this case, I learned, by seven of the defendants, at a certain specified fee for each man, he volunteering his professional services to the ladies without charge. He announced to the Court that he represented the defendants, and that they were ready to have the trial commence.

"'Is Mr. O'Grady your counsel?' the Judge inquired of the defendants.

"'Yes, yer honor,' said one of the parties addressed; 'didn't I pay him five shillings – divil a hap'ny less – for to defind me.'

"'Five shillings?' said Mr. O'Grady, indignantly, 'you mane that as a retainer, of coorse.'

"Defendant.– I mane that's all ye'll get, anny how —

"Counsel (loudly). – Say, sir, it is time for you to know that, as a client, you should addhress the Coort only through your counsel. (To the Court.) Sir, my clients here, paceable citizens, stand ready for to answer, through me, to the diabolical chairges which designin' min have brought against thim, feelin' within their breasts – (Here Mr. O'Grady hit one of his clients a severe blow in his bread-basket).

"Assaulted Client.– Oh! h-h – .

"Counsel (to client). – Keep your mouth shut, why don't you? (To the Court.) Feelin', as I said before, widthin their breasts, the proud consciousness of their entire innocence of anny charges which their accusers could dare for to bring against thim.

"The witnesses were Sergeant Ferrett and Officers Snap, Catcher, O'Grasp, Ketchum, Holder, and Van Knabem.

"Officer Holder stated, in substance, that while patrolling his beat during Thursday night, the inmates of a house, No. 83½ Pacific Place, began to get very disorderly. From the howlings and noises which he heard, he came to the conclusion that there was a wake in the house. Not desiring to stop the disturbance by any violent means, he knocked at the door, with the view of telling them that they were disturbing the public peace, and requesting them to desist. No response was made to his knock. He then put his mouth to the keyhole of the door, and announced to them, as audibly as he could, that unless they desisted, he should have to call other officers and arrest them. No attention was paid to his words. Sergeant Ferrett arrived soon after, and inasmuch as the disturbance continued to increase, they called in the other officers to make a descent on the place, not, however, until they had first endeavored, by their voices, to make the inmates of the house understand the consequence to them, in case they persisted in their unlawful course. Officer Ketchum, who had formerly patrolled the beat, knew of a rear entrance to the house through an alley, and they accordingly entered the house by that way. They found about twenty persons present, men and women, engaged in a promiscuous scrimmage, howling, drinking, and fighting. The orders of the sergeant to cease their disturbance did not avail anything, which decided them to arrest the leading actors in the scene, which they forthwith accomplished, after some considerable resistance on the part of the company. They brought them to the station-house. The remainder of the party subsequently retired or left the place, which was quiet for the rest of the night.

"The remaining officers confirmed the evidence of officer Holder, in such of its particulars as they were acquainted with. All of them were cross-questioned, more or less, by Mr. O'Grady, without, however, eliciting any new facts of material interest.

"Mr. O'Grady introduced, as a witness for the defense, Mrs. Katheleen Hennesy.

"Mrs. Hennesy is a lady of about forty-five years of age, five feet ten inches in height, weighing about two hundred and fifty pounds. She has a florid face. Her dress was remarkable for the extent with which it was ornamented with highly-colored ribbons and laces, gathered in fantastic bows.

"Mr. Blotter, the clerk, administered the usual oath.

"Mrs. Hennesy, having kissed the book, the examination was commenced.

"Mr. O'Grady.– Misthress Hennesy, will you state to the Coort if you're the proprietor of the house No. 83½ Pacific Place.

"Mrs. Hennesy.– Av coorse I am, and divil a hap'ny is there owin' to anny man for what's inside of it.

"Mr. O'G.– What kind of a house do you keep there?

"Mrs. H.– Is it for to prove that the charackther of me house is not good that yer afther axin' the question?

"Mr. O'G.– Misthress Hennesy, could ye make it convanient to thrate this Coort wid becoming respect, by answerin' the questions that I put to ye, for the purpose of establishin' a definse of these ladies and gintlemen, some of whom, I am towld, are inmates of yer house? What kind of a house, I'll ax ye wonst more, do ye keep?

"Mrs. H.– It's a respectable, honest boordin'-house; bad luck to the blackgaird that says it's not.

"Mr. O'G.– Will you plase to state to the Coort the facts of the unfortunate occurrence that thranspired in yer house last night?

"Mrs. H.– For the matther o' that, there's mighty little for to tell; for it was nothin' more nor a wake, barrin' that the corpse come to life widout showin' the civility of first tellin' the mourners that he wasn't dead at all at all, and sayin', 'By yer lave, I'd rather not be, av it's all the same to yez.'

"Mr. O'G.– It's about that, Misthress Hennesy, that his honor is a waitin' for ye to spake of. Now, thin, will ye relate the facts?

"Mrs. H.– Well, plase yer honor, it was yestherday mornin' airly that I heard Timothy Garretty was up stairs in his room, very sick, and like to die. I dhressed myself, and sent for the docther, and went up stairs; and throth Tim was a lyin' there in wan of his fits, wid which he had been often throubled before; and before the docther could come to him, the circulation of his brathin' had stopped entirely. Well, yer honor, Tim had manny frinds in the house, and as he was an owld boordher, we thought to howld a wake over his body. He was laid out, and put into a coffin. At night all of his frinds come into the room, where everything was illegantly arranged for the wake. They had begun to dhrink their whisky, and was enjoyin' themselves in a gintale way, whin Pat Mulholland, he sthruck Mike O'Shea over the eye for somethin' that Mike had said, and wid that Mike's frinds and Pat's frinds got themselves mixed up in a free fight together. At that time, plase yer honor, who should I see arisin' from the coffin but Timothy Garretty himself, and restin' on his hands. By my sowl I was freckened, for I thought it was Tim's apparition that was appearin'. Thin Tim spoke up; 'Bad luck to yez,' says he, 'isn't it a fine thing yez is doin' – havin' the whisky flowin' free, and a free fight, too, and keepin' me a lyin' in this blackgaird box on the broad of me back, widout ever so much as axin' me if I had a mouth on me at all at all?' Wid that somebody who was a strikin' happened to hit Timothy a clout in the eye, which knocked him back into the coffin.

"'Who the divil did that?' sez Tim, as he made a spring from the coffin on to the floor, dhressed all up in his white clothes. 'Show me the man that shtruck me in me eye;' and wid that Tim he commenced a shtrikin' out, and he shtruck Dennis Marony under the but of the lug. Whin they saw Tim out of his coffin, they stopped a fightin', and fell on their knees, and commenced a sayin' their prayers. 'What's the matther wid yez?' says Tim.

"'Are ye not dead?' says Larry O'Brien.

"'Yes, as dead as a nest of live flaze,' says Tim.

"'Then yer alive,' says they.

"'Thry me wid some whisky,' says he; and wid that they got up and give Tim some whisky, which he never dhrank wid a betther grace nor thin. Well, as Tim wasn't dead, they couldn't howld the wake, but they said it would be a pity to lave the whisky to spoil, so they agreed that they'd have the spree just the same. Tim was purty wake from his fit, and so it didn't take long to make him dead dhrunk, whin we laid him in his bed. Afther that, yer honor, they kept on a dhrinkin', and was fightin' in the most frindly way, whin the M.P.s come into the door, and tuck some of thim off to the station-house. I thin shut up the house, and the rest wint to bed.

"Judge.– Mrs. Hennesy, where is Timothy, the corpse?

"'Here, sir,' said a cadaverous-looking Hibernian, 'a little the worse for dyin' widout bein' very dead.'

"Judge.– I think you're good for a few years yet if you take care of yourself. Mr. O'Grady, have your other witnesses anything to testify in addition to what Mrs. Hennesy has stated?

"Mr. O'Grady.– I belave not, yer honer. The material facts of the definse are sufficiently proven by Misthress Hennesy's evidence. Av the Coort plase, I have a few words to say in behalf of me clients here, which, av the Coort will hear me, I will make brief and to the point.

"Judge.– Go on.

"Mr. O'Grady.– Thin, av the Coort plase, I will state that the ground of my definse of these gintlemen and ladies against the unfounded chairge of their disturbin' the public pace, is that the chairge is unthrue in point of fact. Sir, what are the facts? A man dies, and his friends congregate about the corpse to perform their last friendly offices to his remains, in accordance with a custom justified by thradition, ratified by usage, sanctified by antiquity, vilified by these officers of the law when they call it a disturbance of the public quiet, crucified when they burst in the house of mournin' and interfered wid it in the name of the law; and, sir, I shall now proceed to establish a definse, bone fide, with the soundness of which I belave yer honor will be satisfied. Sir, the Constitution guarantees to my clients freedom of conscience; the stairs and sthripes wave proudly over a land in which religious despotism never dare show its repulsive form; and yet these officers dare to say that a custom, which is almost a pairt of the religion of these my clients, is a disturbance of the public pace. Sir, the institutions of our counthry air endangered by such perceedin's. And who was they disturbin'? Wasn't every man and woman and child in Pacific Place of the same nationality of these my clients? Air not their ethnological instincts runnin' in the same channels? Was they disturbed? No! Every man and woman and child there would have admired the devotion of these my clients, to their ancient national thraditions and customs. There they was wan wid another doin' their last friendly offices to their deceased friend in a fraternal fight over his corpse. Sir, what a sublime spectacle for the human mind to contemplate. I wondher that the officers were not thransfixed by the solemnity and moral grandeur of the scene.

"Judge.– Mr. O'Grady, I think that the fact of the dead having come to life, and having been put to bed dead drunk, proves disastrous for your argument, even admitting its soundness.

"Mr. O'Grady.– Thrue it is, yer honor, that the wake was perceedin' without the corpse, as thradition has it, that wonst upon a time Hamlet was played widout the Prince of Denmark; but, yer honor, it was the fault of the corpse, and not of that assembly of mourners. If Timothy Garretty had chosen to have remained a dacintly-behaved corpse, thin the objection which yer honor has raised could not have weighed against me clients here, and I press it now upon yer honor should my clients here be held accountable for the shortcomings of the corpse? I think not, sir.

"Judge.– I think, Mr. O'Grady, you may dispense with further argument, as it would be superfluous. Mrs. Hennesy's house and its inmates have never been complained of before that I am aware of, and in consideration of this fact I'll discharge the prisoners, giving them warning, however, in the future that if they are any of them brought before me again, I shall not deal with them so leniently. You may go.

"The interesting party left the court.

"The business of the court having been quite extended, the Judge cast eyes upon the clock, observing that the hour was already advanced, but as he looked at the list of cases before him, he observed with a seeming satisfaction, that he had now reached the last; he felicitated himself with the idea that in a few moments he would be at liberty to leave the premises, and after finding his way to some neighboring restaurant, partake of his judicial sirloin steak and coffee. He was evidently fatigued, but he put on a good-humored face as he called out:

"'Timothy Mulrooney.'

"'Here, sir,' said a young Milesian, remarkable for nothing in particular; 'here I am, sir:' and Timothy Mulrooney stepped forward to the bar.

"The Judge addressed the prisoner:

"'Timothy,' said he, 'you are charged with disorderly conduct.'

"'Yes sir, he is, and it's me that chairges him wid that same,' spoke up an old woman, dressed in a heavy, blue cloth cloak, and an antiquated cap and bonnet.

"Judge.– Are you the witness?

"Woman.– Av coorse I am, your honor, and it's me pride that I can spake against Tim Mulrooney – the dirty tief of the world that he is (to the prisoner), and I wondher, Tim, that you're not ashamed to howld up yer head before his honor.

"Judge.– Madame, state the facts as they occurred.

"Witness.– Well, place your honor, it was on Friday mornin' or Saturday mornin', I don't know which; but be that as it may, it doesn't make anny difference, because it's about what followed that yer honor wants for to know, when I heard the horn of a fish-cairt in front of my door; sez I to myself, now Michael has come wid the porgies, and —

"Judge.– Who is Michael?

"Witness.– And don't ye know Michael, sure? he is my own child, and a betther-behaved and more dacent boy nor him never sang at a wake; and he can rade and write yer honor, as well as annybody, barrin' that whin he comes to the big words he has to skip them, and guess at what they mane; but that is not his fault, yer honor, for Michael never had any time to go to school, still —

"Judge.– Madame, you shouldn't let your tongue fly off in a tangent in this way. What we desire to know is relative to the charge preferred by you against Timothy Mulrooney, here.

"Witness.– Yes, your worship, I was just comin' to it when ye interrupted me. (To the prisoner) – Ah, you murdbering tief, it's on Blackwell's Island that ye ought to be, instead of bein' here to face his honor in the indacent way that ye'r doing now. (To the Judge) – Well, your honor, it was on Friday mornin' or Saturday mornin', I can't tell which, but be that as it may, it does not make anny difference, because it's about what followed that yer honor wants for to know, when I heard the horn of a fish-cairt in front of me door. Sez I to myself, Michael has come wid the porgies. You see, your honor, Michael owns a fish-cairt, and he sells fish, and what he doesn't sell he brings home for us to ate. He towld me in the morning, that he would thry for to save some of the porgies for dinner. Thin I wint out ov the door, and sure enough it was Michael. 'Michael,' sez I; 'What,' sez he; 'Is it here ye's air?' sez I; 'Sure it is,' sez he; 'Did you save the porgies?' sez I; 'Av coorse I did,' sez he; and wid that he commenced takin' out the fish from the cairt.

"Judge.– What has all this to do with Timothy Mulrooney's offensive conduct? you have not shown as yet that he has done anything wrong.

"Witness.– Yer honor need have no fears but I'll convince yez that a dirtier spalpeen nor him niver was allowed to go unhung among a dacent people. (To the prisoner) – Ah, Tim, ye villain, I wondher that the ship didn't sink wid ye on board when ye left the ould counthry; I'd like to see ye show a receipt wid yer passage-money paid, ye —

"Judge.– Madam, I must insist upon your addressing yourself to the Court; you have no business to speak to the prisoner at all. Although he may have done wrong, yet so long as he is in my presence he shall be protected from the assaults of your tongue.

"Witness (excited). – The assaults of me tongue! Howly St. Pathrick, do ye hear that? Yer honor, I'm a dacint woman wid a family of childher and divil a word was ever spoke against me charackther before.

"Judge.– I said nothing against your character. I want you to confine yourself to what Timothy Mulrooney did to disturb the peace and quiet of your domicile.

"Witness.– I will yer honor. It was on Friday mornin', or Saturday mornin', I don't know which, but be that as it may, it don't make anny difference, because it's about what followed that yer honor wants for to know; ah, yer honor, I have it now – it was Friday mornin' – we was to have porgies for dinner, and not mate, because it was Friday —