Memoirs of Major Alexander Ramkins (1718)

The Peace of Reswick was a ratifying King James's Abdication, and enrolling in the French Archives, what was before declar'd in the Convention at Westminster. It was now no Time to expostulate with Lewis XIV. why he had concluded a Peace without mentioning the Person upon whose Account he had began the War? The Titular King of St. Germains, and the Real one at Whitehall, were not irreconcileable, and the continuation of the Pension was regarded as an unquestionable mark of the French King's Sincerity, and the unthinking Crew spoke well of the Master that cramm'd them, never dreaming that they were but fatten'd for Slaughter, and that under the Disguise of Succouring their Persons, he might Prey upon their Interest. The Spanish Monarchy was what France had in their Eye by the Peace of Reswick, and the Restoring of King James was decreed to be the Motive of a War when they came to a Rupture. Upon the Decease of the King of Spain, Lewis XIV diverted Europe with a fresh Scene of Politicks. He convinc'd 'em, that what he had done at Reswick was a meer Decoy to gain Time and Breath, and bring greater Designs about. The Allies saw clearly he had been jugling with two Sham Treaties of Partition, but was underhand working to engross the Whole, and that the Son and Father at St. Germains were always to serve to the same Purposes, and stand in the first Line of his Manifesto, to make the War plausible, and raise Factions in the Territories of Great-Britain. This was Fact, for no sooner were Things ready in Spain and Flanders, but King James II departed this Life, which opportunity the French Monarch snatched, and in a studied Royal Transport, exalted the young Striplings Expectations at St. Germains by a solemn Protestation, that he wou'd never sheath his Sword till he saw him upon the Throne of his Ancestors, by which I suppose he understood no more than that titular Inauguration which was settled upon his Father at the Peace of Reswick. For had not the Affair of the Spanish Monarchy prompted France to this generous Declaration in Favour of the Son, 'tis highly probable the Gallick Sword wou'd have rusted in the Scabbard, as it was lock'd up by the Treaty of Reswick, nor had it been now drawn but upon a more beneficial Provocation, than restoring King James, for if it was the Interest of France to let the Father sit down quietly with the Title, nothing cou'd supervene to give the Son the Reality. Upon this Basis the War was renewed again on both Sides, and the Juggle was kept on with the Court of St. James's, and great Pains were taken by the Emissaries of France, to buoy up King James's Friends both at home and abroad, that Lewis XIV was Sincere, and wou'd exert himself sooner and later in their Cause.

The World needs not be put in Mind what Service King James II, Troops did to France during the War, every Action spoke their Bravery, but the grand Reform that was made upon the Peace was a sorry recompence for their Service. France wou'd not entertain 'em, and a Halter was their Doom if they return'd Home. This was an odd way of obliging King James; I speak not so much upon my own account, (though I was reduc'd at the same Time) because I had a Sufficiency elsewhere to keep me from Starving; but it was but a melancholly sight to behold poor Men strolling upon the Road, not knowing which way to direct their Course, and begging Alms through those Towns in which a little before they had Triumph'd in Victory. But the Rod is often thrown away and burnt after the Child is Whip'd. Upon this Occasion it was that I took leave of Mars, resolving to make use of this Interval of Peace, to satisfy an old Curiosity to see England, a Place as yet I never had beheld. Some Acquaintance I had contracted at Dunkirk, made me willing to take Shipping there, besides the hopes I had of decoying a pleasant Gentleman for my Companion, and upon my Arrival I found him in a good Humour, so we set Sail about three in the Morning, and came under North Foreland Point about seven the same Day. The Master of the Vessel, though he was an old Coaster, was not willing to trust himself among the Flats in a dark Moon, so we lay at Anchor all Night, and in the Morning by peep of Day, the Wind being pretty favourable, we weigh'd and pursu'd our Voyage up the River; but being a little too soon for the Tyde, we struck upon a Sand Bed, and oblig'd to remain ther till the Rise of the Water. I was all alone in the Master's Cabin when this Accident happen'd, but being very intent upon a Book, I was not sensible whether we mov'd or stood still. A Lady who was with the rest of the Passengers upon Deck coming hastily down, Sir, said she. Do you sit quietly here and we are struck upon a Sand-Bed? Madame, said I, I did suppose such a Thing, but the Tyde will cast us off. You suppos'd such a Thing, said she, Why, Sir, we shall certainly be drown'd, come let us to Prayers. I was not very much accustom'd to the Sea, yet I imagin'd there could be no great Danger as long as we had a flowing Tyde, and that it did not blow a Storm: Had the Water been ebbing and a Storm ensu'd upon it, 'tis probable our Ship, being none of the strongest, might have been beaten to Pieces among those Sands. However, I step'd upon Deck to see how Things went; there was a profound Silence every where, the Passengers were scatter'd here and there looking one at another, but not speaking a Word; the Master was walking with his Arms across without Fear, but not without Concern in his Countenance: I ask'd him how he came to be mistaken in the Tyde? he answer'd, Accidents would happen'd sometimes, but there was no Danger. Then running on in a Strain of Sailors Cant, he said, God was at Sea as well as at Land, that the Lord wou'd protect 'em if they did but put their Trust in him, and love him as they ought. In the middle of this moral Lesson, the Ship was gently wafted off the Sands by the Tyde, and Sails being abroad spread, the Ship sail'd merrily along. 'Twas surprizing to observe the Alteration in every bodies Countenance; the Women began to Laugh and Giggle; the Men began to rally one another for want of Courage; the Sailors began to raise their Note higher and higher, and the Master of the Ship turn'd his Sermon into a Volley of Oaths and Curses against his Crew; and thus in an instant, from a profound Silence we recover'd our selves again to Noise and Hurry. That Day brought us to Gravesend, where we took Boat, and so arriv'd safe at London, though I was not very well pleas'd with those small Boats People usually pass in from Gravesend to London, for I understood they were often Overset by sudden Gusts of Wind which blow from the Shoar.

London is a Place above my Description, and though I lost no Time the six Months I remain'd there, to view what Curiosities were to be seen, yet 'tis probable many Things worthy of Observation escaped my Diligence. I took a particular care not to make my self Public, but pass'd at my Lodgings under Disguise of a Merchant, yet abroad I acted the Marquess, not to be depriv'd of the Means of introducing my self into the best of Company. I found they were much divided in England as to the French Politicks; some were of Opinion that Lewis XIV was serious in King James's Cause, but these were Persons who had no Notion of Foreign Affairs, and judg'd of Matters according to their first Appearance; for others who had studied the Interest of Nations, and how their Pretensions he in regard of one another, had no Notion of the French King's Sincerity, either towards King James, or any other Prince he dealt with, and there is not one Instance I have mention'd in these Memoirs, in order to demonstrate the Infatuated State of the Court of St. Germains, but I heard it frequently urg'd to the same purpose, by the most intelligent Persons, as well Friends as Enemies to King James. While I was diverting my self at London, I receiv'd a Letter from Paris, that there was a Lieutenant Collonel's Place vacant, which I might easily be promoted to in Case I wou'd be at the trouble to, make use of what Interest I might reasonably Command. But I quickly understood, that by my Interest was meant my Money, so employing my Amsterdam Stock that way, I might very probably by a French Piece of Civility, live to want both my Money and a Commission. I return'd a thousand Thanks to my Friends for their Diligence in my Absence, but told 'em, I had rather wait till another War broke out, and their would be more choice of Promotions, and I might please my self, because I was somewhat curious what Regiment I engag'd in.

It was a tedious Journey to go into Scotland by Land, otherwise I was very much disposed to see my own Country once more, and apprehending besides, there might be some Danger upon account of being engaged in the French Service during this late War. I laid these Thoughts aside, and contented my self with making a small Tour Twenty or Thirty Miles distance from London, in which Progrination I saw Windsor, Greenwich, Hampton-Court, and some other Places of Note. But in one of these Jaunts, I had like to have paid very dear for my Curiosity. The Neighbourhood of London is much infested with Highwaymen, and if a Gentleman rides not with Pistols, 'tis very probable he will be attack'd. Unacquainted with these Customs, the Day I went to Windsor, I had in Company with me an Irish Gentleman; we made use of nothing but common Hacks, nor had any other Arms but our Swords; about the middle of Honslow Heath we met two Gentlemen well mounted, who pass'd by us unsuspected, but turning suddenly upon us again, with each of 'em a small Pistol cock'd, they very civilly demanded our Money. Gentlemen, said I, I am a Stranger; no Gentlemen said they, come quickly deliver what you have, we are in a publick Road, and can't stand arguing; but finding us a little Dilatory, they whip'd the Bridles from our Horfes, cut our Garths, and so dismounted us; and so I and my Companion were very dexterously strip'd of what they found in our Pockets, which was all I had about me, but my Friend reserv'd two or three Guineas in his Fob. When they had finish'd their Business, they gallop'd different ways cross the Heath, and left us like a couple of Asses, to drive our Horses to the next Town, and carry the Saddles under our Arms; but by the Invention of our Garters, and some other such like Tackle, we halter'd our Steeds till we cou'd refit our selves better. What we lost was but a Trifle, and 'twas done in so small a space of Time, that appear'd like a Dream or passing Thought. It was happy either for us or them, that this happen'd in the Morning when our Heads were cool, for had they attack'd us when warm'd up with good Liquor, I believe I should have had little regard to those Pop-guns they threatened us with. When we came to the next Town, and gave the People an account of our Disaster; the Landlord of the Inn ask'd us, if we had ever been upon that Road before, and we inform'd him this was the first time, then said I have Authority to enroll you as Freemen upon the small Fee of each a Bottle of Wine, and this I take to be no Imposition, because I am plac'd here in a convenient Part of the Country to advance a small sum to such as are robb'd of all they have, and cannot pursue their Journey; so Gentlemen, if that be your Condition, I have a couple of Guineas ready for you, which I will lend upon Honour, but in Case it be not a clean Robbery, what you have conceal'd from the Diligent Highwaymen is the Landlord's Fee as far as each a Bottle of Wine. This Merry Landlord I thought was very conveniently posted to divert People after their Misfortunes, we never went about to examine him, whether his Demand was customary, or only a Piece of shire Wit, and an extemporary Instance of his prolifick Genius, but sat down, and made our selves most immoderately drunk. The Landlord discanted very copiously upon the ancient and modern Practise of Robbing upon the Road, and seem'd very much inclin'd to lessen the Crime. Formerly, said he, no Body robb'd upon the Road but base scoundrel Fellows; but now 'tis become a Gentleman-like Employment, and young Brothers of very good Families are not asham'd to spend their time that way; besides the Practise is very much refin'd as to the manner, there's no Fighting or Hectoring during the Performance, but these Gentlemen approach you decently and submissive, with their Hat in their Hand to know your Pleasure, and what you can well afford to support them in that Dignity they live in: 'Tis true, says he, they often for Form sake have a Pistol in their Hand, which is part of their riding Furniture; but that is only in the Nature of a Petition, to let you know they are Orphans of Providence just fallen under your Protection. In a Word, demanding Money upon the Road, is now so agreeably perform'd, that 'tis much the same with asking an Alms. The poor Beggar wou'd rob you if he durst, and the Gentleman Beggar will not rob you if you will but give a decent Alms suitable to his Quality. I thought my time so well spent to hear this Landlord plead in favour of Padding, that I told my Companion I had often known the time that I wou'd have willingly have parted with more Money than I was strip'd of upon the Heath, to have some Melancholly Thoughts driven away by such a merry Companion.

The Time drawing near that I prescribed to my self to remain in England, we were now advis'd to return by the short Sea, which we perform'd without any Let or remarkable Accident. I have observ'd towards the beginning of these Memoirs, that the War begun in 1688, was undertaken in Defence of Cardinal Fastenberg to the Electorate of Cologn; the next War was for the Mornarchy of Spain, but the Restoration of King James was always a material Article, and a very useful Circumstance of the War. I need not acquaint the Reader how France was reduced in this last bloody War, her best Troops ruin'd, incapable to win a Battle, every Campaign carry'd two or three of their best Towns, the Nation dispirited, and Credit sunk, and nothing but a dismal Scene of Poverty and Misery: And yet in the midst of all this Misery, (as the Spanish Beggars are said to strut about in their Cloak and Bilboes at their Side) so this Gasping Monarch had the Assurance not only to talk of making a Descent, but actually equipp'd a small nimble Fleet with a Body of Men, and persuaded the Pretender to go upon the foolish Errand, as if he you'd have any prospect of Conquering the Three Kingdoms, who was in danger every Moment of having his Capital Sack'd and himself turn'd out of his Throne. Cou'd there be a more Romantick Undertaking, or more unintelligible in all its Circumstances, than the Pretender's Descent upon Scotland? The deluded Youth was carry'd to the Coast of Scotland, but upon what Design, is a Secret to this Day. He was made to believe at his departure from Dunkirk, that Scotland was dissatisfy'd to a Man upon account of the Union, and that it wou'd be an easie matter to Conquer England by putting himself at the Head of a Scotch Army; but when he desired to be landed to put the Project in Execution, the French General told him, he had Orders from his great Master, that there should be no Landing. Now whether this was part of the old Game, and only in Order to make a Diversion, or to surprize Edinburgh Castle, where most of the Specie of Scotland was said to be lodg'd at that time, is various alledg'd by Men of Speculation. That there was no appearance of succeeding in the main, is pretty plain from many Circumstances. England with their Allies at that Time were in a Capacity to spare 50000 Men, against which a few poor scrambling Highland Foot, wou'd but have made a very bad Resistance. I am not willing to think France would send Princes a Pilfering, or that the Pretender was design'd to steal the Money out of Edinburgh Castle, a Stratagem much more decently committed to some Partisan, or three or four Dunkirk Privateers. So I think it more suitable to the Prudence, and for the Honour of the French Court, to mention this design'd Descent only as a Diversion to amuse and employ the British Troops at Home, that they might not annoy the Enemy in Flanders. But how this Affair will be reconcil'd to that Affection and Friendship Lewis XIV. seem'd to have at that time for the Pretender, I am at a loss, with the rest of Mankind, to account for, since it was exposing him to the greatest of hazards for a Trifle, and throwing up the Cause at once, had he fallen into the Hands of his Enemies, and 'tis not the least Miracle of his Life that he escap'd them. I was invited to have gone abroad with the Pretender upon this Expedition, being than Free, but the Project appear'd to me so full of Inconsistencies, I have frequently since enlarg'd upon my own Politicks and Foresight in that Affair.

Thus much I must say for the Jacobite Party, never were Men more baffled and rallied oftner upon Projects or Hopes, but the unwholesome Diet never turn into the Substance, but infects the Body with peccant Humours, which now and then are discharg'd by Phlegbotomy, and then they turn to a Gangreen by Amputation. Jacobitism (I speak of it in relation to the strong Hopes they have of succeeding by a French Power) is an uncurable Distemper. I have often wonder'd to hear Persons, otherwise of great Penetration and Sense, grow constantly Delirious upon this Topick. The Wagers that have been lost upon that very Prospect wou'd have purchas'd him a little Kingdom. Time has open'd a great many People's Eyes; but there is a set of Men who are enslaved to the French Projects, and so far infatuated, that nothing can cure them. If fooling him with sham Descents, neglecting all Opportunities of assisting, if banishing him, excluding him by solemn Articles, will not satisfy 'em as to this Particular, 'tis my Opinion they wou'd not be convinc'd, if they should see France chaffering for his Head, and finish the Twenty Eight Years old Politicks with 100000l. being what is set upon it. There is no extraordinary difference between disposing of another Man's Right, and disposing of his Person. There was a Time when France gloried in the Ostentatious Title of being the Assylum of distress'd Monarchs, and I remember I was once dispos'd to have almost deify'd their Monarch upon that Score; but when I took the Frame of his Politics, and examin'd every Wheel and Spring by which they moved, I rescued my self from the Prejudices I had been nurs'd up in; and though I always pursu'd the same End, yet I was a constant Enemy to their Method, which I was convinc'd were all directed another Way, and that a Restoration upon a French Footing was a Chimerical Project, and that if it had taken Effect by their Arms, England must have had another Doomsday-Book, and have suffer'd once more under an Arbitary Discipline, more dreadful than that of William the Conqueror, from whom England has been struggling to retrieve her self ever since. I had formerly made a Resolution with my self not to hearken to a Love-Intrigue, but upon a Prospect of putting an end to such Amusements. The long time I had been out of the Army, gave me several Opportunities to make Enquiry after a Person who was capable of making me happy in that Respect. I took a singular Care when any Thing was offer'd that way, to consult my Reason more than my Passions, and had fix'd before my Eyes, the per-plex'd State I liv'd in those Weeks I held a Correspondence with the Spanish Lady. 'Tis a dangerous practice when a Person shuts his Eyes among Precipices, and neglects Consultation where the Choice is hazardous. There liv'd in Paris a Collonel's Widow, neither very young, nor very handsome. The intimacy I had with her Husband, who was kill'd in Italy, brought me first acquainted with her. Her discreet Carriage in a great variety of intricate Circumstances had often Charm'd me. There was no Difficulty in a marriage State, but she had struggled with it; a morose Husband, the Death of an only Child, the Gripes of Poverty when her Consort was in the Army and lavish'd away his Income, were great Tryals in which she always Triumph'd, and wore a stoical Constancy without any Reservedness. She had a large Pension allow'd her for Life, upon account of her Husband's Merits, who had done great Service during the Wars. Under these Circumstances I attack'd, rather like a Judicious than a Passionate Lover. The Method I took with her, was quite different to what I observ'd in pursuing my Spanish Mistress. There was no Balls, Treats, nor Serenading, we both knew the World too well, either She to expect, or I to offer her such Entertainments. In a Word, our whole Discourse when I visited ran upon Oeconemy and Morals. It was not long before she understood my Meaning, and that my repeated Visits tended towards Marriage. She alledg'd several Things to divert me from it; that she was tired with being an Officer's Wife, which oblig'd either to a rambling Method of Living, or to labour under great Inconveniences, and that I, perhaps, might not make the best of Husbands, that State being a Lottery full of Blanks. I had nothing more pertinent to alledge upon this Occasion, than to assure her, that during my Absence in the Army she should never be unprovided with what would make her easie, and for being a good Husband, I gave her all the Assurances that such a Matter was capable of, and at the same time made her the Compliment, that in case any misunderstanding should ever happen between us, her approv'd Conduct and Discretion would certainly declare me Guilty. In conclusion, I put on the Trummels, and never question'd but I had made the most prudential Choice that any Person could do; but there is something in Woman-kind which can never be found out by Study or Reflection. 'Tis only Experience that can School a Husband, and can give him a true Idea of that mysterious Creature; for in less than Twelve Months my Thousand Pounds which I had so carefully kept unbroke at Amsterdam was all dispos'd of, my Soldiers Pay being my only Subsistance for myself and Family, my Wife reserving her own Income for Pin-mony; my Credit very low, my Days very irksome upon many accounts, and I who had hitherto appear'd with Assurance in Company, because of my Money-merit, was now Neglected; for every Tradesman began to smell out my Poverty. I am of Opinion it would do Posterity no kindness, if I shou'd discover how I came to be ruin'd by a Prudent Wife, for no Body wou'd Credit me. If I should advise 'em to trust no Woman living, so as to give her full Scope upon an Opinion of her Conduct. I took my self to be as wise, upon this Head, as any Man living. It had been my Study above twenty Years. There is a secret Devil in every Woman, which is often Conjur'd down by a Husband's Temper; and though many Men may pass for bad Husbands by their Morose Carriage, 'tis less prejudicial, than that Indulgence which few Women have Discretion to make use of. My Wife's first Husband was represented as not very kind to her, whereas his less obliging Temper was the Effect of his Judgment, and a touch of Skill he had in managing a Woman, whom Caresses wou'd have exalted into Impertinence, &c.

I would not be understood so upon this Subject, as if we lived unhappily as to our Affections; no, we regarded each other as two inseparable Companions, not only whose Interest it was not to be at variance, but we really did affectionately love each other. I cou'd not so much blame her as my self for if Children, Servants, &c. make a loose from their Duty, who are chiefly to be blam'd, but such gentle and restraining Methods did not curb 'em, but let 'em feel they had Reins in their Hands. Thus hamper'd in Wedlock, I had nothing to give me ease but that three parts of Mankind were in the same, if not in a much worse Condition. However, to make our Circumstances tollerable for the future, I perswaded my Consort to abridge her self of some superfluous Charge which we cou'd not well bear any longer. First we disposed of our Coach, and then our Acquaintance was reform'd of Course; by Degrees a multitude of modish Visitors dwindled away into two or three formal Matrons, which at last ended in a Decent Apartment in a Monastery, where she spent her Time agreeably enough when I was in the Camp. Hitherto the main matter which pall'd all my Joys, was the impossibility of a Restoration, which now was much lessen'd by the concurrence of Domestick Evils, and the Cares which attend a married State. Yet when I seriously reflected upon the Conduct of France in regard of King James and the Pretender, I have often observ'd my self to sweat and fret my self into a violent Fever with the very Thoughts of it; but I never was so sensibly touch'd upon this Head as after the Battle of Malplacket. which was follow'd with the Surrender of several Towns, so that there was nothing but the poor Barrier of Landrecy left to save the Capital, and by Consequence, the Kingdom of France. The French King having now play'd away all his Leading Cards, was now put to his Trumps. He attempts the Treacherous and Needy Ministers with long Bags of Louisdo'rs, which were all ineffectual when his Arms cou'd do no more.